Unfortunately, many people stay in bad relationships just to avoid being alone or because they think no one else would want them. A British survey commissioned by money-transfer service TransferWise and carried out by YouGov on a sample of 2,031 British adults found that 6 in 10 people stay in relationships that are unfulfilling because they’re used to compromising.
While these statistics only represent British people, they are likely similar worldwide. Granted, it’s understandable to be afraid of getting out of a relationship and being on your own again, especially if you’ve been with the person for a while, but your mental and physical health are the priority. If you are unhappy in a relationship and nothing is changing despite the two of you working on things, then it’s best to leave it behind and move on.
With that said, conscious couples tend to take relationships to their highest heights, and truly embody the term “power couple.” Both people have worked on themselves and healed their past wounds, and this allows them to fully give themselves to their partner and relationship. They see a relationship as an opportunity to grow, not a chance to control or bring down another person.
Here are 5 traits of conscious couples:
1. They care about helping each other grow
Being in a relationship provides a chance to grow individually, but also as a couple. Conscious couples not only care about the growth of themselves, but the growth of their partner, too. They don’t try to control the other person, but rather, allow them to flourish and blossom into whoever they desire to be. They help each other reach their goals, and truly care about their partner’s happiness and well-being.
The conscious couple never stops expanding and growing, because they know stagnation is the death of a relationship.
They don’t put out each other’s flames, but instead keep kindling the fire until the whole world shines a bit brighter.
2. Conscious couples don’t blame their partner for their wounds
Basically, the conscious couple takes responsibility for their past and have learned to put it behind them to start anew in their relationship. They don’t blame their partner for feelings of abandonment or neglect caused by their past, and therefore, they don’t expect these feelings to surface in the relationship. Of course, everyone makes mistakes and no relationship can feel happy all the time, but conscious couples have far less fights and misunderstandings than others.
They have simply agreed to use positivity to help their relationship grow rather than let the relationship die due to holding onto old pain.
3. They don’t try to stifle their partner
From a young age, we have all been conditioned to think we have to act, think, or talk in a certain way to get people to like us. It’s natural to want to be accepted, but so many people have buried their true selves in order to make other people like them – and nothing about this is healthy. In a conscious relationship, there are no filters, no expectations, and no hiding. Everything gets thrown onto the table, out in the open, and both people are perfectly okay with that.
They would rather watch their partner be their authentic self, even if that feels a little intense, than make them feel like they have to put on a mask just to maintain the relationship.
4. Conscious couples make love the priority
The power couple always asks “How can I love you more?” “How can I bring more love into our relationship?” They don’t expect to feel rainbows and butterflies all the time, but they certainly try everything in their power to keep their partner happy and feeling loved.
They treat love as a habit, not as an occasional place to retreat to after a fight or on an anniversary. They put love first, because without love, what would be the point of a relationship? Conscious couples approach every circumstance in their relationship with the question “How can I be love?” In other words, they aren’t interested in using the other person for the sake of love; they want to take things to the next level and embody love themselves.
Because each partner isn’t dependent on the other to provide this feeling, it’s ever-present, like the very air we breathe.
5. They practice active listening
Unfortunately, many people today have forgotten the art of simply listening. We live in such a fast-paced, loud, chaotic world that requires our attention be split in a thousand directions. This habit of being in such a hurry has led many of us to forget to slow down, stop thinking for a second, and just listen. In romantic relationships, stopping what you’re doing, allowing your partner to speak, and fully listening to what they have to say leads to better conversations, deeper understanding, and a stronger bond.
According to an article by Diana Raab, PhD, on Psychology Today, “The goal of deep listening is to acquire information, understand a person or a situation, and experience pleasure. Active listening is about making a conscious decision to hear what people are saying. It’s about being completely focused on others—their words and their messages—without being distracted.”
Final thoughts
Relationships require a lot of nurturing to stay alive, but, like anything in life, what you get out of something depends on what you put into it. If you want a thriving, healthy, happy, vibrant relationship, you have to view love as a practice and an opportunity to grow with your partner, rather than trying to “fix” or change them.
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Sources:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3330752/Stiff-upper-lip-gone-far-60-stay-bad-relationships-poor-customer-service-save-face.html
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-21277/the-4-qualities-of-a-conscious-relationship.html
http://thespiritscience.net/2016/09/09/12-conscious-habits-people-in-healthy-relationships-do/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-empowerment-diary/201708/deep-listening-in-personal-relationships
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