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Venezuela elections neither 'free nor fair', says US
The United States has condemned Sunday's elections for state governors in Venezuela, branding them neither "free nor fair".
The State Department said ballot papers had been manipulated and polling stations moved "without public notice".
President Nicolás Maduro's supporters won 17 of 23 state governorships but opposition leaders have alleged fraud.
The opposition Democratic Union Roundtable coalition has refused to recognise the result.
Venezuela socialists win governor seats amid fraud claims
"We condemn the lack of free and fair elections yesterday in Venezuela. The voice of the Venezuelan people was not heard," State Department spokeswoman Heather Nauert said.
She alleged there had been "last-minute changes to polling station locations without public notice; manipulation of ballot layouts; and limited availability of voting machines in opposition neighbourhoods".
The statement also criticised a "lack of independent, credible international observers" and demanded a "technical audit for the National Electoral Council's tabulation".
The National Electoral Council announced the election results and has been accused of pro-government bias by the opposition.
President Maduro hailed the landslide as a victory for Chavismo, his party's brand of socialism named after former President Hugo Chávez.
He said it was proof that Venezuela has "the best electoral system in the world".
Conflict with Washington
Will Grant, BBC News, Caracas
The opposition in Venezuela was never likely to recognise an election that handed President Maduro such a wide margin of victory. Now their concerns have been echoed by the Trump Administration.
The US has already imposed sanctions on the Venezuelan government and further action may now follow.
None of this will come as a surprise to President Maduro. He generally thrives off the conflict with Washington and the EU. In the short term, he's simply pleased to have announced to the nation a significant victory at the polls, whether people believe the result or not.
His government will now press ahead with the process of having the new governors swear in before the controversial new legislative body, the constituent assembly.
The State Department described Mr Maduro's government as an "authoritarian dictatorship" and pledged "the full weight of American economic and diplomatic power" to "the Venezuelan people as they seek to restore their democracy".
The US ambassador to the United Nations, Nikki Haley, called for an audit of the electoral process. "An election is only legitimate if it is free and fair, and from the start, this was neither," she said.
A poll conducted by private firm Datanalisis before the election suggested 45% of voters intended to vote for opposition candidates and 21% for the governing socialist party candidates.
However, another poll by the same firm had also suggested that President Maduro's popularity rose by six percentage points after the US imposed sanctions on him.
Malta blogger Daphne Caruana Galizia dies in car bomb attack
A prominent blogger in Malta, who had accused the island's government of corruption, has died in a car bomb attack, according to police.
Daphne Caruana Galizia, 53, was reportedly killed when the car she was driving exploded shortly after she left her home in Bidnija, near Mosta.
Local media say one of her sons heard the blast and rushed outside.
PM Joseph Muscat, whom Caruana Galizia accused of wrongdoing earlier this year, denounced the killing.
"I condemn without reservations this barbaric attack on a person and on the freedom of expression in our country," he said in a televised statement.
"Everyone knows Ms Caruana Galizia was a harsh critic of mine, both politically and personally, as she was for others too."
But he stressed there could be "no justification… in any way" for such action.
"I will not rest before justice is done."
On Monday evening, thousands of people attended a candlelit vigil in the resort town of Sliema.
Skip Twitter post by @BorgJake
Vigil for murdered journalist Daphne Caruana Galizia gets under way in #Malta pic.twitter.com/ooq0UecDP2
— Jacob Borg (@BorgJake) October 16, 2017
Report
End of Twitter post by @BorgJake
Malta Television reported that Caruana Galizia had filed a complaint to the police two weeks ago to say she had received threats but gave no further information.
Police have opened a murder inquiry.
Newspaper reports said the explosion had left debris from the rental car she was driving strewn across the road and in a nearby field.
Caruana Galizia's death comes four months after Mr Muscat's Labour Party won an election he called early because of the blogger's allegations linking him and his wife to the Panama Papers scandal.
The couple denied claims that they had used secret offshore bank accounts to hide payments from Azerbaijan's ruling family.
Caruana Galizia's popular blog had also targeted opposition politicians, calling the country's political situation "desperate" in her final post.
A spokeswoman for the prime minister's office told the BBC that although there were rumours the attack could be politically motivated, this would be jumping to conclusions. But no lines of inquiry would be ruled out.
Malta has asked for international help – including the FBI in the US – to find the perpetrator, the spokeswoman said.
Meanwhile, Caruana Galizia's family has requested that the magistrate in charge of the investigation be replaced, the Malta Independent reports.
It said the current magistrate had on a number of occasions been the subject of criticism by Caruana Galizia.
Her scathing pen spared no punches
By Herman Grech, Times of Malta online editor
Daphne Caruana Galizia was loved and resented in equal measure in politically divided Malta – but she will go down in the Mediterranean island's history as one of the most influential writers.
Her uncompromising blog and scathing pen spared no punches, hitting out mainly at exponents of the ruling Labour Party and their supporters, but also sometimes criticising officials of the centre-right Nationalist Party, including its newly-elected leader.
Starting off as a columnist for The Sunday Times of Malta, her colourful reportage saw her embroiled in several legal battles along the years, including Malta's prime minister.
But beyond all, even her fiercest critics acknowledge she was an impeccable writer and investigative journalist. Her digital cross-investigation into the Panama Papers, which saw the Maltese government's top officials embroiled, effectively triggered off a premature general election last June.
Two Catalan separatists in Spanish custody
A Spanish judge has remanded two key members of the Catalan independence movement in jail.
Jordi Sánchez, who heads the Catalan National Assembly (ANC), and Jordi Cuixart, leader of Omnium Cultural, are being held without bail while they are under investigation for sedition.
The men are seen as leading figures in organising a 1 October independence vote, which Spanish courts suspended.
The government in Madrid branded the vote illegal.
- Catalan crisis in 300 words
- The man who wants to break up Spain
Following the referendum, Catalonia's regional head Carles Puigdemont signed a declaration of independence, but halted its implementation to allow negotiations.
He has called for talks to take place over the next two months.
However, the Spanish government has warned that Catalonia must revoke the declaration or face direct rule from Madrid.
Mr Puigdemont has also angered Madrid by refusing to clarify whether or not he declared independence last week.
Media playback is unsupported on your deviceMr Puigdemont, who has been given until Thursday to clarify his position, hit out at the government on Twitter following news of Mr Sánchez and Mr Cuixart's detention.
"Spain jails Catalonia's civil society leaders for organising peaceful demonstrations. Sadly, we have political prisoners again," he wrote.
In a video recorded before his court appearance and released on his Twitter account after his detention, Mr Cuixart instructs separatists to "never lose hope because the people of Catalonia have earned their future".
He and Mr Sánchez have also been accused of encouraging protesters as they blocked officials from entering Catalonia's regional government offices on 20 and 21 September.
Pro-independence supporters have now called for further protests, demanding the men's release, reports the BBC's James Reynolds in Barcelona.
Just hours before the ruling, the High Court freed the head of Catalonia's police force, Josep Lluis Trapero.
His force, the Mossos d'Esquadra, is accused of failing to help Spain's Guardia Civil police tackle thousands of pro-independence protesters in Barcelona during the run-up to the referendum.
Prosecutors had called for him to be held in detention.
Daimler recalls 400,000 Mercedes-Benz cars in the UK
About 400,000 Mercedes-Benz cars are being recalled by Daimler in the UK over a potential airbag safety issue.
The firm's safety recall covers more than a million vehicles worldwide, including 495,000 in the US.
The recall is not related to the exploding Takata airbag scandal, and there have been no fatalities.
The problem affects certain A, B, C, and E-Class models, together with CLA, GLA and GLC vehicles, built between November 2011 and July 2017.
The fix for the airbag issue takes only an hour to perform.
Warning light
A Mercedes-Benz spokesperson told the BBC that the airbag issue only affected certain vehicles in "rare circumstances".
"If the steering column module clock spring is broken and the wiring components are not sufficiently earthed, this could lead to an electrostatic discharge which could inadvertently deploy the driver's airbag," the spokesperson said.
The cars are safe to drive under normal operating conditions, but if the driver airbag warning light comes on, customers should call roadside assistance or contact their nearest retailer.
Mercedes-Benz will contact all customers whose cars may be affected by the airbag problem, and ask them to bring their vehicle in.
The work is performed free of charge and only takes an hour, after which the car is safe to drive as normal.
“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” – William Penn
Nothing feels worse than achieving a goal or becoming successful in an endeavor and discovering that the people around you don’t feel proud or positive about it – but rather, they feel jealous. A person’s jealous feelings can cause them to act unkindly towards us, especially in the face of our own achievements or success.
Psychologist Steven Stosny says that jealousy “makes you think the same thing over and over and the more you do that, the less reality-testing you do. Emotions all have an illusion of certainty, and jealousy makes you certain of your perception of the world.”
Everyone has felt this unpleasant emotion at least once in their lives, and most likely much more than that. It seems much harder to deal with when other people feel jealous towards us, though. After all, we can control how we feel, but we can’t control other people’s emotions. Recognizing the signs that someone is jealous of you can be the first step to fixing it.
Here Are Eight Signs Someone’s Jealous Of You
1. False praise
When someone is jealous of you, they’re often the first to give you a compliment that sounds sincere, or seems to be dripping with passive aggression. However, you’ll find that these people will be rolling their eyes the minute you leave the room.
They would rather pretend they’re not jealous than address the issue. One way to turn it back around is to give them sincere compliments when something good happens to them. It may help them see that you’re a genuine person, and help curb their jealousy.
Clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., says, “Short of becoming indiscriminately wary of others’ praise or flattery, it’s only prudent to consider whether they might have a hidden agenda in praising you. That way you can minimize the possibility that their seemingly trustworthy compliments aren’t really some sort of two-faced con.”
2. Downplay your success
No matter what you achieve or how hard you worked to do so, jealous people will always try to make it seem like it was a fluke, or that you didn’t work as hard as you did to achieve your success. The reasons that they come up with may be rude or condescending.
“People who will envy you the most are the ones who are in need the most of what you possess,” says M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.
Rising to their bait will only make them more likely to talk poorly. Stay humble but firm in your achievements. If you brag, they may be more likely to stay jealous of you.
3. Flaunting their success
Someone who is jealous of you may be more inclined to flaunt their success more than it’s really worth flaunting. They may be more inclined to flaunt their own achievements while you’re celebrating your own. These are the type of people to get engaged at a wedding.
But why do they flaunt their success in the first place?
Because chances are, they’re not as successful as you are. Author Bob Bly states, “There are always people who are filled with negative thoughts — not only about others whom they envy (you) but also about themselves and their perceived failure to having achieved their goals (which are often to own their own business or be richer than they are).”
While it may be frustrating, getting upset is only going to make them feel more justified in their behavior. Instead, offer them sincere praise in their achievements. Leading by example is a good way to alter someone’s behavior.
4. They’re imitating you
Someone who is jealous of you alternatively wants to be better than you, and also be just like you. They may imitate the way you talk or the way you dress in order to feel better about themselves. Instead of allowing this to upset you, try to encourage them to go their own way. When they’re doing their own thing, give them positive reinforcement. Show them that they don’t have to be you to be great, and that they can be their own person.
5. They’re competitive
Jealous people tend to be highly competitive, because they always want to be the one reaping the success or as clinical psychologist Melanie Greenberg says, they are “either insecure or arrogant and want to prove superiority.”
While it can be tempting to take them down a peg, refuse to make the competition unhealthy, or even refuse to participate. If they try to argue with you about a job promotion, just simply tell them: “It isn’t a competition.” Refusing to play into their game will make them less likely to try and continue to one up you.
6. Celebrating your failures
Someone who is jealous is going to privately feel very good about when you make mistakes, or get reprimanded or corrected at work or school. While they may never show it, they’re often secretly enjoying your failures. Handle your mistakes with grace! You can always remind them that making mistakes are part of life and learning. If you’re not upset, they’re not getting the enjoyment out of it that they thought they would.
7. They gossip behind your back
Jealous people will always find a way to talk about you behind your back. It’s not fun, and the things they say can be malicious and hurtful. The best way to deal with someone who does this may be just to confront them directly.
As author James Clear mentions, “… negativity from other people is like a wall. And if you focus on it, then you’ll run right into it. You’ll get blocked by negative emotions, anger, and self-doubt. Your mind will go where your attention is focused. Criticism and negativity don’t prevent you from reaching the finish line, but they can certainly distract you from it.”
Since jealous people don’t tend to be outwardly confrontational, talking to them seriously about what they’re doing may be enough to get them to rethink their behavior, or to get it to stop entirely.
8. They hate you
If there’s someone you know who hates you for no conceivable reason, they may just be jealous. This one is hard to deal with, because we often don’t like to be hated for no reason. You may feel the urge to show this person that you’re entirely likeable. But, there may be nothing to do about it. If you can’t charm them into liking you, it may just be best to cut them out of your life. You don’t need that negativity, and they’re most likely working themselves up hating you for no reason. The best way to fix it is to let it go.
Final thoughts
Dealing with someone else’s jealousy can be a tricky situation. You may feel the desire to just tell them off. But, dealing with a jealous person in a non-confrontational and positive manner is ultimately better for both you and the other person. They may feel a lot of self-esteem issues that they need to work through, and getting upset with them won’t fix or deal with their jealous tendencies. Knowing the signs of a jealous person will make it easier to fix and handle in a positive and productive manner.
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200907/jealousy-loves-destroyer
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201401/praise-manipulation-6-reasons-question-compliments
https://www.2knowmyself.com/Jealousy/how-to-deal-with-jealous-people
https://www.earlytorise.com/slaying-the-green-eyed-monster-how-to-deal-with-people-who-are-jealous-of-your-entrepreneurial-success/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201109/how-keep-your-cool-competitive-people
http://jamesclear.com/haters
The post 8 Signs Someone Is Jealous Of You (And How To Fix It) appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.
Iraqi forces enter Kirkuk as Kurds flee
Iraqi government forces have entered central Kirkuk after taking key installations outside the disputed city from Kurdish fighters.
Thousands of people fled the city ahead of the Iraqi advance.
The Iraqi military moved into Kirkuk three weeks after the Kurdistan Region held a controversial independence referendum.
They are aiming to retake areas under Kurdish control since Islamic State militants swept through the region.
Residents of Kurdish-controlled areas, including Kirkuk, overwhelmingly backed secession from Iraq in a 25 September vote.
While Kirkuk is outside Iraqi Kurdistan, Kurdish voters in the city were allowed to take part.
- Kirkuk residents stuck in the middle
- Iraqi Kurds decisively back independence
- Independence: What is at stake?
Iraq's prime minister, Haider al-Abadi, had denounced the vote as unconstitutional. But the Kurdistan Regional Government (KRG) insisted it was legitimate.
US officials said they were "engaged with all parties in Iraq to de-escalate tension", while President Donald Trump said they were "not taking sides".
"We don't like the fact that they're clashing," he added.
Skip Twitter post by @RudawEnglish
#BREAKING: Iraqi forces are inside the office of Najmaldin Karim, governor of #Kirkuk city. #KurdistanBlockade pic.twitter.com/p3YPLFMIML
— Rudaw English (@RudawEnglish) October 16, 2017
Report
End of Twitter post by @RudawEnglish
Mr Abadi said in a statement on Monday that the operation in Kirkuk was necessary to "protect the unity of the country, which was in danger of partition" because of the referendum.
"We call upon all citizens to co-operate with our heroic armed forces, which are committed to our strict directives to protect civilians in the first place, and to impose security and order, and to protect state installations and institutions," he added.
On Monday, the Iraqi military said its units had taken control of the K1 military base, the Baba Gurgur oil and gas field, and a state-owned oil company's offices.
The government in Baghdad said the Peshmerga had withdrawn "without fighting". However, clashes were reported to the south, and the sound of gunfire was caught by a BBC cameraman as a team filmed near a checkpoint.
By the afternoon, as thousands of people fled the city fearing impending clashes between the two sides, Iraqi military vehicles were rolling into the heart of Kirkuk. A picture shared on social media appeared to show Iraqi forces sitting in the governor's office.
Forces pulled down the Kurdish flag which had been flying alongside the national flag, according to Reuters.
Mr Abadi had ordered the flag to fly over all disputed territories.
The speed with which Iraqi forces reached the centre of the city has led the two main armed Kurdish parties to accuse each other of "betrayal".
Media playback is unsupported on your deviceThe Peshmerga General Command, which is led by President Massoud Barzani of the ruling Kurdistan Democratic Party (KDP), accused officials from the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan (PUK) of aiding "the plot against the people of Kurdistan".
The PUK denied being part of ordering any withdrawal, saying dozens of their fighters had been killed and hurt, but noted "not even one KDP Peshmerga has been martyred as of yet in the fighting in Kirkuk".
Meanwhile Turkey, which fears Kurdish independence in Iraq could lead to similar calls from its own Kurdish minority, praised Baghdad, saying it was "ready for any form of co-operation with the Iraqi government in order to end the PKK presence in Iraqi territory".
The PKK – or Kurdistan Workers' Party – is a Turkish-Kurdish rebel group which has been fighting for autonomy since the 1980s. It is considered a terrorist group by Turkey as well as by the EU and US.
Why is Kirkuk at the heart of this Kurdish crisis?
Kirkuk is an oil-rich province claimed by both the Kurds and the central government. It is thought to have a Kurdish majority, but its provincial capital has large Arab and Turkmen populations.
- Sykes-Picot: The map that spawned a century of resentment
- Why don't Kurds have a state?
- Iraqi Kurdistan profile
Kurdish Peshmerga forces took control of much of the province in 2014, when Islamic State (IS) militants swept across northern Iraq and the Iraq army collapsed.
The Iraqi parliament asked Mr Abadi to deploy troops to Kirkuk and other disputed areas after the referendum result was announced, but he said last week that he would accept them being governed by a "joint administration" and that he did not want an armed confrontation.
On Sunday, his cabinet accused the KRG of deploying non-Peshmerga fighters in Kirkuk, including members of the PKK, which it said was tantamount to a "declaration of war". But KRG officials denied this.
US Army sergeant Bowe Bergdahl admits desertion
Bowe Bergdahl, the US soldier held as a Taliban captive in Afghanistan for five years, has pleaded guilty to desertion and misbehaviour before the enemy.
The 31-year-old Army sergeant entered his plea on Monday before a military judge at Fort Bragg, North Carolina.
The Idaho native's lawyers have argued he cannot get a fair trial following criticism from Donald Trump during last year's presidential campaign.
Mr Trump had called him "a no-good traitor who should have been executed".
When asked during a news conference on Monday whether his comments had any impact on Sgt Bergdahl's case, the president said he could not comment, but "I think people have heard my comments in the past".
"We may as well go back to kangaroo courts and lynch mobs," Sgt Bergdahl said in a 2016 interview that was obtained by the BBC and broadcast on Monday.
In the remarks to British filmmaker Sean Langan, who was himself held captive by the same Taliban group in 2008, Sgt Bergdahl denied he had left his post in order to meet Taliban militants.
- What happened to captured US soldier Bowe Bergdahl?
- Bergdahl appeals to Obama for pardon
"You know, it's just insulting frankly," he said. "It's very insulting, the idea that they would think I did that."
Sgt Bergdahl, who remains on active duty desk work in San Antonio, Texas, was first charged in 2015, a year after his release.
During Monday's hearing, he told the court: "I was captured by the enemy against my will."
"At the time I had no intention of causing search and recovery operations… It's very inexcusable," he added.
He is scheduled to face a pre-sentencing hearing starting on 23 October.
The maximum penalty for misbehaviour before the enemy is life in prison, and the maximum sentence for desertion is five years.
Army General Kenneth Dahl, who led the investigation into Sgt Bergdahl's disappearance, has testified that a jail sentence would be "inappropriate".
In a podcast interview last year, Sgt Bergdahl said he walked off his combat post to prove to senior officers his commanders were "unfit" for service.
- Profile: Sgt Bowe Bergdahl
Upon his return to the US, an Army Sanity Board evaluation determined that he had schizotypal personality disorder "at the time of the alleged criminal conduct" and now suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder.
The decision to exchange five Taliban captives from Guantanamo Bay in order to secure Sgt Bergdahl's release was heavily criticised by Republican lawmakers as contrary to US policy of not negotiating with terrorists.
Several former platoon mates have alleged US soldiers were killed or wounded during the frantic 45-day search for the 501st Parachute Infantry Regiment trooper.
The judge has allowed wounded servicemen to testify that they were hurt because of the search for Sgt Bergdahl.
Much of Sgt Bergdahl's captivity was spent in a "cage", he said, and he was extensively tortured by his captors, a military expert has previously testified.
During Mr Trump's presidential campaign, he called Sgt Bergdahl "garbage" and suggested he should be summarily executed.
"You know in the old days – bing, bong," Mr Trump said at a campaign rally as he imitated firing a gun. "When we were strong."
The tragedy of sexual abusive relationships
According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest Network (RAINN), a person is sexually abused every 98 seconds in the United States. Every 8 minutes, the victim is an underage person.
Only 6 out of every 1,000 perpetrators of sexual abuse are jailed or imprisoned.
Statistics are helpful to a point, but there is no number – no words – that can adequately describe the tragedy that is sexual abuse.
And sexual abuse is not always apparent. Many abusers are cunning manipulators.
It isn’t uncommon for a victim of sexual abuse to experience a period of self-admonishment; faulting themselves for not recognizing the abuse.
Especially in a romantic partnership.
Who would suspect their partner to commit such an atrocity?
The truth is that sexual abuse by intimate partners is far more prevalent than most people realize.
If you happen to be within this group, it is essential that you understand it is not your fault. Again, it is not your fault.
“Sexual narcissism can be defined as a grandiose sense of one’s sexual prowess which, in the mind of the sexual narcissist, entitles him or her to engage in acts of emotional and physical manipulation at the partner’s expense.”~ Preston Ni, M.S.B.A.
Before we list six common signs of sexual abuse, it is imperative to understand that there is a number coping resources for victims. We will list a few of these resources shortly.
6 Signs of Sexual Abuse
1. Anxiety
Most people who suffer from anxiety disorders don’t know why. However, for sexual abuse victims, this tension is directly attributable to the loss of bodily sovereignty. In other words, the sense of control over their own body has been taken away.
In the context of a partnership, this anxiety will surface under some often; including before, during, and after intercourse. Some victims become fearful and may suffer panic attacks, agoraphobia, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD.)
2. Depression
This sign is also related to the loss of bodily autonomy. Victims usually develop some degree of depression; they may feel despondent, hopeless, or suffer from an impaired sense of self-worth. These feelings often range from mild to debilitating. Consider this finding by psychologist Ellen McGrath:
“In almost every case of significant adult depression, some form of abuse was experienced in childhood, either physical, sexual, emotional or, often, a combination.”
3. A sense of inferiority
Abusers who target their partner do so out of the need to feel superior and in control – this is the narcissistic side of sexual abuse.
Every action of the abuser stems from their own inadequacies and insecurity. As such, it is common for the abuser to “target their partners for ridicule, shame, sarcasm, and overall marginalization,” says Preston Ni.
Imparting a sense of inferiority is outright emotional abuse which, subsequently, becomes sexual abuse.
4. Fear of reprisal
A fear of retaliation often stems from being uncomfortable about the situation. For example, we’re all a bit hesitant when trying something new in the bedroom; but engaging in a sexual act and feeling uncomfortable with it, and becoming fearful at the thought of telling your partner about your discomfort are two entirely different things.
It’s a sign of emotional and sexual abuse.
5. Lack of pleasure
Sex is supposed to be intimate, loving, and fun. Under normal circumstances, two adults engage in sex because it’s enjoyable. For the victim of sexual abuse, there is no pleasure to be had from sex with their “partner.”
When a person is too absorbed in their own satisfaction, they inevitably demonstrate little to no concern for others well-being. It becomes impossible, then, to obtain pleasure from any romantic activity, sex or otherwise.
6. Feeling pain during sex
There is an immense difference between dirty talk and roughing it in the bedroom – between two consenting adults – and sexual abuse. Experiencing physical and emotional pain during a (typical) sexual encounter isn’t the norm.
It’s common for someone who is being sexually abused to experience both physical and emotional abuse. In fact, it is impossible to experience one without the other.
How?
Because the victim often can’t tell what hurts more: physical pain from the sex or the emotional hurt that someone they once loved created.
Help
If you or someone you know is the victim of sexual abuse, please contact local law enforcement or the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline (NSATH) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
Here’s what you can expect when calling NSATH:
- Confidential support from a trained staff member
- Support finding a local health facility that is trained to care for survivors of sexual assault and offers services like sexual assault forensic exams
- Someone to help you talk through what happened
- Local resources that can assist with your next steps toward healing and recovery
- Referrals for long term support in your area
- Information about the laws in your community
- Basic information about medical concerns
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/relationships/signs-sexually-abusive-relationship
https://blackdoctor.org/485946/when-sex-is-scary-signs-youre-in-a-sexually-abusive-relationship/2/
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/sexual-abuse
https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline
https://www.rainn.org/statistics
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201504/8-signs-youre-in-relationship-sexual-narcissist
The post 6 Signs You’re In A Sexually Abusive Relationship appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.
“Never make someone a priority when all they are to you is an option.” ~ Maya Angelou
A quick question…
Have you ever tried – and failed – to take advantage of someone?
What caused you to fail? Perhaps you couldn’t go through, were lacking confidence, or – more than likely – had a guilty conscience.
You see, most people aren’t okay with the idea of using someone. It’s against their moral code; their inner-being. And, when they do try to take some liberties – even if it’s with a person they don’t like – a nagging sense of inner resistance kicks in.
You may have failed; but – in terms of good character – you succeeded.
The “10 percent rule” applies here. In this case, the 10 percent comprises the individuals who feel no guilt, remorse, or shame in manipulating someone for their benefit.
Are you giving too much?
A person who gives too much doesn’t always do so on purpose.
There are genuinely benevolent “angels-amongst-us” types – and they’ll give until it hurts. They’ll ask for little in return.
Here’s the thing, my friend: you aren’t doing yourself any favors. You certainly are not doing the other person favors by caving to their manipulation, willingly or unwillingly.
A balance of power shouldn’t exist in a relationship. Relationships – whether intimate, platonic, familial, or friendship – are not a competition. There shouldn’t be a “winner” and a “loser.”
Be aware of the following ten signs that you may be giving too much – and them too little – in a relationship:
1. They know everything
Ever seen the movie ‘Clueless’ with Alicia Silverstone? If so, you probably remember the redhead who Silverstone’s character and her snooty friend decide to “include” in their circle.
When the redheaded misfit joins Silverstone’s “crew,” she’s eventually taken aback by the unabashed egotism. When she objects to anything, she’s quickly rebuffed, and told – in a sense – that “this is how things are.”
Don’t be the redheaded friend.
2. They aren’t there when you need them
Yeah, this one’s kinda obvious, hopefully. You’d think, for everything you’ve done, that they’d occasionally return a favor or have your back, right?
Common courtesy is uncommon for some people. You’re probably giving too much if they somehow conveniently “forget” about – or outright disregard – the things you’ve done.
In fact, you may not even hear a simple “Thank you.” If that’s the case, good luck trying to get help from them.
3. You always initiate communication
When you’re not “needed,” they don’t want to talk, and when they don’t want to talk, just leave them alone. (And find some peace!)
Most communication that does take place originates from you. Being the kind person you are, you’ll try to establish and maintain contact out of genuine cordiality.
It’s too bad the other person had no interest in doing the same.
4. They show a lack of empathy
In a relationship, empathy – at its core – is an expression of love. Not displaying compassion is a sure sign that either (a) you were never really considered a friend, or (b) they’ve lost themselves at some point.
Either way, an inability to walk in the shoes of a friend is a major character defect.
5. You upend your own needs
This one’s hardly surprising. When taking care of someone else’s needs takes precedence over taking care of your own, it’s self-neglect.
If you’re ignoring your own needs, it’s crucial to ask yourself “Why?” Unless this person happens to be your child, there really is no acceptable answer.
6. You’re always the “first call”…
When they need something.
7. But quickly ignored
When everything is fine.
Do you remember the cliques from high school? Smart kids would hang out with smart kids, athletes with athletes, shy kids with shy kids.
You know what’s strange? In almost every clique, there’s one member who’s almost always ignored. Sociological research has found that there’s an “outcast” in every group; one who helps maintain group harmony at the expense of personal happiness.
8. You’re put in the thick of things
If your “friend” is fighting with someone, you feel obligated to take their side. Though you’d strongly prefer to maintain a sense of neutrality – especially considering the affronts of your “friend” – you fear the repercussions.
Mostly, you fear isolation.
9. You can’t get a word in
Pardon. But this one is annoying as he**.
People who talk over others are some of the most infuriating individuals alive.
This one also has a simple solution. If your friend/partner/whatever doesn’t respect you enough to lend an ear, get out of there.
10. They always seem to be telling a lie
You know the saying “Trust takes a long time to create, a short time to destroy”?
Well, your friend has torpedoed their trustworthiness. And you know the sad thing?
They could care less.
Remember that 10 percent rule we discussed in the introduction?
Well, sadly, the 10 percent rule applies a second time: for those who willingly allow others to take advantage.
This writer’s message to this group is this: stop!
Know your worth. And, if you don’t know, ask. This is a time when it’s perfectly acceptable to seek external validation. Ask your real friends or family what they love about you!
Here are some uplifting words to end this article on a positive and peaceful note:
“Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a giant tree in the midst of them all.”
~ The Buddha
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Sources:
https://thoughtcatalog.com/lady-goodman/2014/01/9-signs-you-do-too-much-for-your-friends/
https://www.bolde.com/12-signs-youre-giving-more-ever-get-out-relationship/
https://www.powerofpositivity.com/5-signs-your-partner-is-taking-you-for-granted/
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