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12 Ways Yoga Helped Me Recover From A Broken Heart


As wonderful as life is, it has its heartbreaking moments. A breakup, an unfortunate medical diagnosis, the loss of a loved one or a job are all things that can break your heart. To move past a broken heart, it’s important to heal your mind and your heart.

Yoga may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you need to heal a broken heart, but it does so by teaching us to stop trying to change the things that are out of our control. When we focus on fixing or changing things that we have no control over, the parts of our life that we do control fall by the wayside. The focus on fixing something or changing it delays healing.

To recover from a heart break, turn to your yoga practice and embrace its principles.

These are 12 ways that yoga helped me recover from a broken heart.

1. By Practicing Alternate Nostril Breathing

In most situations, you are entirely in control of your breath. When we go through a yoga practice, one of the things that we focus on is uniting the breath and the movement. If you’re successful, then your mind will be in the present moment.

Practicing alternate nostril breathing shows you that everything you need to be okay is already a part of you. Focused breathing slows down a busy mind, one that might be unsettled following a broken heart.

Alternate nostril breathing can decrease your heart rate. It even lowers stress and reduces anxiety in the body and the mind. This is a yoga tool that can help you get through hard times.

2. By Refocusing My Mind

Yoga practically forces you to refocus your mind. How does it do this? It does it by requiring you to move your body in challenging ways. To stay upright and avoid falling, you must focus on your body instead of your thoughts.

During a practice, you connect to your body. As your mind focuses intently on the poses, you relax, in a way. For instance, instead of thinking about the could haves, would haves and the should haves, you’ll be thinking about leveling your hips in warrior three. Yoga helps you focus on:

• Your movement
• Your breathing
• The moment

3. By Teaching Me How to Do Warrior Poses

Yoga has four warrior poses: warrior one, warrior two, warrior three and reverse warrior. Each one can make you feel powerful and in control of your broken heart. While in a warrior pose, consider repeating a mantra, something like “I am a warrior. I will get through this. I am enough.”

When you repeat a mantra or a positive affirmation, you’ll be working to reprogram your mind as you recover from broken heart emotions. Stand strong in your warrior poses and speak positively to yourself. These steps can heal you by emphasizing important and positive things about you that you may have forgotten.

4. By Inspiring me to Try Meditation

A broken heart can be mended with meditation. According to Tantric philosophy, people contain a great deal of prana shakti, which means soul power, when they experience pain. If we stay close to the experience, we can release the energy and obtain a deeper insight into the essential nature of reality in addition to the underlying beauty constantly at work, even during our heartbreak.

The meditation can be done sitting or lying down, but be sure to bring your feet together for connection. You may find that your heart heals more readily when the Earth is supporting it. As you lay upon the ground, the Earth is holding and softening your heart.

A heart healing meditation requires you to visualize the space above your heart and imagine a light drawing into the area. To recover from broken heart sadness, try meditating for at least 30 days, and be sure to dedicate 15 to 45 minutes to the meditation practice.

5. By Challenging Me to Do Handstands

The asana part of a yoga practice may involve a number of different poses including handstands and other inversions. Inverting the body not only has the possibility of flipping your physical perspective, but the action can also flip how you feel about your broken heart.

At first, handstands are scary. As you send your feet to the sky, your heart may start to race while your brain works to orient itself. The more that you practice it, the more you’ll realize that you’re growing stronger through the experience of your heart break. Allow yourself to heal.

6. By Giving Me a Safe Sanctuary

Once you have established a regular practice, your yoga mat will become a safe sanctuary, a place where you can heal. On your mat, you can let your emotions in without feeling judged. The mat is even a place where you can reveal the rawest part of yourself and still feel safe, supported and held.

For people who practice yoga, the mat is their security. It is always there to catch you. While practicing on your mat, you can just be. You can just be sad, or happy or in a state of healing.

7. By Offering Grounding Poses

In yoga, we practice grounding poses that include bringing our hearts closer to the Earth. Tortoise pose and pigeon are just two of these. In Yoga International, an article about healing a broken heart says, “The chakra associated with the heart center is the anahata chakra. Anahata translates roughly as “unstruck sound.” The rishis, or seers, of the yoga tradition glimpsed that within the heart center resides the innermost self—a self that is completely whole and can never be broken.”

As we let our hearts sink toward the Earth in tortoise and pigeon, we’re deepening our connection to our own inner sage. When a tortoise draws into the safety of its shell, it is feeling threatened or startled. Mimicking this action helps us feel safe.

8. By Including Savasana

When people start practicing yoga, they often struggle the most with savasana. The reason for this varies, but for many of us, laying silent with ourselves is especially challenging. Many yoga instructors point out that is one of the most important poses.

How can savasana help you recover from a broken heart? It works because when you relax into savasana, you’re in a place where you can surrender to your heartache and let your inner healing power begin to restore your peace. A heartbreak is a wrenching thing to experience, and often, our brains try to fix it by fighting our way through it.

In yoga, we heal by surrendering. When you’re in savasana, you’ll practice the surrender, and this will help you to let go of your pain to find peace.

9. By Facilitating a Balanced Emotional State

A consistent yoga practice increases your breath and body awareness. As you gain this awareness, you’ll start to shed emotional weight. While practicing, you will start to notice unconscious patterns that are present due to your heart break.

During your yoga practice, you’ll be moving your body in ways that support a balanced emotional state, which can also open up your heart, helping it to heal. Setting an intention for your yoga practice is another way to recover from a broken heart.

To set a healing heart intention, ask yourself, “What does my heart need to heal?” Then, take a moment and listen. It might need:

• Forgiveness
• Self-love
• Courage
• Acceptance

10. By Instructing Me on How to Open My Heart

A yoga asana practice will often include heart opening poses such as camel. While in heart opening poses, you’ll be focusing on your breath and deepening into the body movements. Some heart opening poses are empowering, and they’ll help you regain your confidence.

Other heart focused poses release powerful emotions like:

• Sadness
• Fear
• Anger

Along with being powerful, these emotions are negative. Doing poses like pigeon can help release them.

11. By Helping Me Reach a State of Forgiveness

Yoga has a way of reaching inside the soul and helping you come to realizations. It helped me forgive. The thing about forgiveness is that it’s for you and not the person who hurt you.

There is a Buddhist saying that goes, “Anger is like grasping a hot coal to strike another; You are the one who is burned.” When you let go of your anger and forgive, your heart will do the same.

12. By Showing Me How to Choose Love and Compassion

When we are in the middle of an emotional battle, one filled with loss, abandonment or rejection, it’s easy to lash out at others in an attempt to make them feel as we do. This is when the yoga principle of “ahimsa,” which is nonviolence, is important.

Repeat the nonviolence mantra to yourself as a constant reminder to be kind to yourself and others. It can also remind you that the right way will always be the one with love and compassion.

You Will Recover from A Broken Heart

A broken heart is a tough thing to recover from, but you can do it. Talk to those you love and cultivate your yoga practice. Yoga gives you the chance to ground and regroup.

A regular yoga practice will help you foster positivity and peace while helping you rebuild your faith in yourself and others, making it possible for you to open your heart again.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

The post 12 Ways Yoga Helped Me Recover From A Broken Heart appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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18 Ways Gratitude Changed My Life And Made Me Happier


The incorporation of healthy, simple daily tasks such as journaling may provide welcome opportunity to assess all that one has to be grateful for. The act of experiencing or giving gratitude can be extremely beneficial for one’s overall health. I saw my life transform in many wonderful ways as I began to truly explore the meaning and benefit of gratitude. I was also kinder to others because my entire attitude changed.

What Happened When I Began to Practice Gratitude

I came to a point in my life where I was not happy and could not figure out why. So, I began a daily journal where I logged everything I was thankful for from that day or from instances throughout my life. When I began using gratitude, a number of positive things happened in my life:

1. Self-Awareness

Increased self-awareness was one of the many benefits of my new intention to practice daily gratitude. Life sometimes becomes so busy that we begin to think only of ourselves. However, gratitude made me more aware of all that others were doing for me. I began to see not what I lacked, but what I was gaining throughout life. This simple act of journaling was incredibly revealing for me!

2. Shifting from Selfishness to Selflessness

My newly increased self-awareness made me want to invest more in those around me. Selflessness directly correlates with one’s level of happiness. I began to give to others more and more and then received a happy mindset. I even made new, strong friendships that I believe will be long lasting.

3. Sense of Community and Belonging

With selflessness came new friends and a heightened feeling of belonging. This closeness with the people around me and even with nature was incomparable to anything I have ever experienced before making the decision to practice gratitude. My new sense of community with humans and with nature also brought about a new and improved sense of self.

4. Creativity

Starting to practice gratitude stirred up something inside of me I did not even know I had! My desire to be creative and expressive increased exponentially. The outpouring of artwork and writing was extensive. I felt true healing through my own art and through my own heart!

5. Improved Mood

Before I began to actively practice gratitude, I had been feeling really down on myself – depressed, even. However, my newfound positive psychology helped to ease and mitigate my depressive symptoms. Over time, I began to feel uplifted and rejuvenated, like a light had been turned on within me.

6. Emotionally Resilient

Practicing this positive and gracious way of living helped me build up internal strength. Certain things that might have set me off or would have irritated me before did not dissuade me from my enduring, positive state of mind. Ultimately, this optimism helped me overcome everyday challenges. This mental fortitude may also help one get through trauma.

7. Appreciating the Good along with the Bad

Life is not perfect, even when you practice gratitude. Even so, when I am confronted with negativity throughout my daily life, I do not see it as something that will keep me down. Rather, I see negative or difficult situations as opportunities or learning experiences for me. Moving forward is much easier now. Situations can be negative or positive – that is all for you to determine. I have now chosen to see the bad as something that could eventually lead me to more good.

8. Eating Healthier

More positive thoughts meant healing for my mind. Yet, once I began to feel better by using this positive practice in my daily life, I wanted to take care of myself on every level. I also began to put healthy things into my body and, in turn, was able to put forth even more healthy words and attitudes towards things that were going on in my life at the time.

9. Less Screen Time

Let’s face it – technology can be taxing (at least, for me, it was). In the past, I was spending an unhealthy amount of time on my phone or at the computer. This excess screen time detracted from time spent with friends or even getting out of the house and seeing the world.

10. More Time in Nature

Less time on technology meant more time for better, life-giving things. The peace and serenity that nature provides only furthered the other new benefits I experienced. For instance, my stress levels plummeted even further down.

11. Weight Loss

My urge to exercise and move around increased. I ended up spending more time outside and doing outdoor activities. Any events with friends or loved ones were likely to also involve some physical movement on my part. This in turn even furthered my connection with those around me.

12. Deeper Connections and Bonds

The friendships I had were furthered and deepened because of my new sense of awareness. I was now more engaging and enjoyable to be around. I realized that all of these people had a special place in my life and each relationship took on new meaning for me.

13. Forgiveness

Grudges only serve to bring you down. Unconscious stress can still cause many problems. It was important for me to be forgiving in order to truly move forward in my own life and healing process.

14. Happiness

I was definitely made happier when I started to practice gratitude. This happiness can be attributed to all of the aforementioned benefits of developing this new daily practice. I was more available and accessible emotionally, because happiness is such an important aspect to have in your life. I even saw my new mood becoming infectious. People around me were becoming happier as well!

15. Encouragement

During this time, I began also to encourage others to better themselves and look forward to their own futures. The compassion I experienced actually ended up helping not only me, but the people around me. A study suggests “happy people become happier through kindness”.

16. Time Management

Wasting time was no longer on my agenda. Wasteful activities no longer took up space at my place! Instead, I dedicated and planned time for things that were actually meaningful for me. I was truly able to savor each moment of each day this way.

17. Cutting Out What Harms Me

My new practice gave me a lot of time for introspection. Not everything in my life was doing right by me. So, I had to cut out toxic environments and toxic people from my life, which was hard, but necessary in order to move forward in my journey towards a happier, better me.

18. Positive Long-Term Results

This is still my daily practice because it continues to amaze me and provide me with amazing life and health benefits. I now give more than I take. I am truly happier because of that.

Final Thoughts on Gratitude

Developing a gratitude practice totally changed my life for the better. My cognition, mood, and health have improved exponentially in a short amount of time. Overall, I am much happier. I will continue this daily practice throughout life because it has been so great and radically life-changing.

I also learned so much through this practice. If you are seeking healing or renewal, I strongly encourage you to do the same. Consider starting by journaling 5 things you are thankful for from your day. This practice can soon become a habit with dedication and repetition.

Each time I choose to focus on the things I have, I light up internally. Every time I focus on what I can do for others, stress lifts off of me and I am so much lighter. This practice has been so wonderful that I recommend it to all of my friends and family. It does not have to be done alone, but can be a great way for family and friends to grow close to one another.

I typically write in my journal at night; that way, I can reflect on all of the happenings of the day. However, it is also a beneficial way to start your day. Each and every move towards this positive emotion helps me in the long-term. Dealing with stress or toxic emotions and relationships has become so much easier.

This positive practice can be a great way for anyone to begin their journey towards health or wellness. After doing this for just a month, it became a healthy habit for me that I will not give up. My relationships are stronger. I am stronger. My health is better. I just wish I had found it sooner. If you’re looking to start this practice, consider these exercises:

  • Journaling
  • Walking
  • Nature Time

All of these activities can help to clear your mind or at least get you in the right mindset to transcend any negative emotions that may have been holding you back from becoming your happiest self. If you are interested, here is how to begin your practice.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

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18 Ways To Deal With Stress And Anxiety (According To Your Personality)


Did you know your personality affects how you deal with stress? In today’s busy world, it seems like everyone’s folding under the pressure. Plenty of articles give the same old advice for stress remedies: exercise, distract yourself, and breathe deeply. But if your stress manifests differently based on your personality type, shouldn’t you get advice that’s a little more personalized?

Yes, you should. And here it is.

Every person has one of 16 personality types outlined in the Myers-Briggs system. This is just one of millions of personality tests, but it’s a great way to figure out how you think. Each of the 16 personality types thinks a little differently, which is why we’re using that scale for this list.

As for how we got the number 18, we’ve added two options for people who aren’t sure about their personality type: advice for introverts and extroverts.

You can find out your MBTI type by taking the personality test here. Once you’ve done that, scroll down for a creepy-accurate reading of your stress, and more importantly, what you can do to help.

18 Simple Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety According to Your MBTI Personality Type

1. INTJ – The Architect

You like to help things operate from the sidelines. You’re not a fan of being in the middle of the action, but you want to get things right. You can frequently be found scheming up new ways to streamline your work space.

Part of your stress is because you have a hard time dealing with emotions. You also have a hard time dealing with other people’s emotions. The INTJ type is very introverted and focused on rationality. When people behave in an irrational manner, you get nervous.

  • Remember that you can’t control everything
  • Take a few deep breaths
  • Occupy your mind with puzzles, Sudoku, or word games
  • Get some sleep

2. INTP – The Logician

If this is your personality type, congratulations! You’re a rarity. Only about three percent of the population is INTP.

The INTP is creative and inventive. They bring a vigorous intellect and unique perspective to the table. You might be known in your social circle as a philosopher or dreamer.

You sometimes get stressed communicating, when your words leave you before you’ve fully formed the thought. You’re also terrible at meeting deadlines, and crunch time makes your anxiety spike.

  • Write down what you want to say instead of saying it
  • Use mindfulness techniques to let your brain rest from seeking patterns
  • Break projects into small bits so you can meet deadlines

3. ENTJ – The Commander

If ever there was a leader on the list, the ENTJ is it. Being a leader comes with its share of stresses, though. You feel responsible for everyone else’s work, well-being, and projects at large. You might be frustrated that other people don’t seem to be putting in as much effort as you do.

  • Take a walk around your home or office building to clear your head
  • Remind yourself that you cannot control everything everyone else does
  • Get progress reports from your team members if you feel like a project is out of control

4. ENTP – The Debater

If you’re an ENTP, you love to consider a million different worldviews… and then argue with people who oppose them. Intellectual debate is what gets your blood going. Being right is fun.

Unfortunately, you tend to get stressed with everything unrelated to your creative ideas. Implementing new procedures makes you want to crawl up the ceiling. You may also struggle with coworkers and friends who aren’t quite so spirited in debate.

  • Backtrack your thoughts until you find the source of the stress
  • Disengage from debates and take a breather
  • Do something fun to distract from the boring day-to-day work

5. INFJ – The Advocate

This is the rarest personality, representing less than one percent of the world’s population. INFJs are diplomats whose sense of morality and idealism always sets them on the right course. Unlike dreamier types, INFJs take concrete steps toward their goals.

The hardest thing for an INFJ is to see another person suffering and being unable to help. INFJs may also be afflicted by general depression and heightened empathy.

  • Go somewhere completely free of people to recharge
  • Listen to soothing music, ocean, or rain sounds
  • Take a relaxing bath
  • Do something kind for another person

6. INFP – The Mediator

An INFP is constantly looking for the best in people, even when the worst tragedies occur. They always want to make a situation better. Stress tends to occur when you can’t find the good in a situation, or when your attempt to better something doesn’t work.

  • Wake up early to have time to yourself
  • Light some scented candles
  • Practice positive mental affirmations to break negative thought cycles

7. ENFJ – The Protagonist

An ENFJ is another natural leader. You might gravitate toward teaching, coaching, or politics. ENFJs have natural confidence and believe in people, which makes them great teachers. You might get stressed when you feel you aren’t teaching well enough, or your students aren’t listening.

  • Remind yourself that you’re good enough as you are
  • Touch base with the people around you to make sure they’re okay
  • Re-evaluate plans that are causing stress

8. ENFP – The Campaigner

ENFPs are the free spirit of the group. They love to connect on an emotional and social level. An ENFP gets stressed when they spend too much time alone, or when they’re around too much negative energy.

  • Change your scenery to decompress
  • Watch videos of cute animals
  • Make a list of ten of your favorite things to remind yourself what you love

9. ISTJ – The Logistician

This is the most abundant type. ISTJs are devoted to duty and integrity. You may get stressed when you feel your environment is corrupted or other people don’t have a sense of ethics.

  • Touch base with the people around you
  • Remind yourself that you only control yourself and no one else
  • Make plans to address the source of the stress

10. ISFJ – The Defender

This type analyzes their surroundings and has well-developed social relationships. Even though they’re a Judging type, they tend to respond well to change. ISFJs may experience stress when they feel their efforts are going unnoticed.

  • Remind yourself of prior recognition for your work
  • Spend time with friends who can validate you
  • Remind yourself recognition doesn’t matter as long as the work is done well

11. ESTJ – The Executive

ESTJs want everything to be in order and adhere to tradition. They’re great at building structures, but not great at tearing them down. ESTJs might get stressed when they feel their environmental structure is threatened.

  • Ask yourself whether the order is truly important
  • Remind yourself that you only control your own actions
  • Relax your mind and open yourself to new connections

12. ESFJ – The Consul

The ESFJ type tends to be popular and outgoing, a friend to everyone. You might be stressed when things feel like they’re over your head in seriousness.

  • Keep things light and relaxed
  • Go out with your friends
  • Find a favorite place and visit it

13. ISTP – The Virtuoso

This type is best known for being a musician. They love to move between projects and have fun, although they may not always finish what they start. Deadlines and strict rules are a source of stress.

  • Break your project into bite-sized pieces
  • Write down a list of reasons you love your life
  • Keep track of your half-finished projects

14. ISFP – The Adventurer

As the name implies, the Adventurer likes to, well, adventure. They’re constantly taking life by the heels, and get stressed when they feel constrained.

  • Find three things that make you unique
  • Do something spontaneous
  • Connect with your friends

15. ESTP – The Entrepreneur

These people love to dream big and follow through on their ideas. They get stressed if they feel they aren’t getting the success they’re aiming for.

  • Remind yourself that you’re valid no matter what external success you have
  • Organize your plans so you can see them
  • Touch base with your friends

16. ESFP – The Entertainer

ESFPs are performers. They love to be in the spotlight and making people happy. They get stressed if they’re alone for too long or around too much negative energy.

  • Watch happy videos
  • Hang out with positive people

17. Unknown Introverts

Introverts gain energy from being alone. You might find yourself stressed if you’re around too many people for too long.

  • Read a good book
  • Play relaxing phone games
  • Take a relaxing bath with a mug of tea

18. Unknown Extroverts

Extroverts gain energy from being around others. They get drained when they’re alone, and might be stressed if they’re isolated for too long.

  • Go out to a crowded area and soak in the vibes
  • Call a friend or family member
  • Volunteer in your local community

Final Thoughts on Dealing With Stress Through Personality

Your personality affects why you feel stressed, how your stress expresses itself, and how you can best deal with it. When you know your personality type, you know yourself better than you ever have before. Use these tips to personalize a self-care routine for yourself. You deserve to feel good!

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

The post 18 Ways To Deal With Stress And Anxiety (According To Your Personality) appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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10 Signs You Underestimate Yourself


Underestimating yourself can make you miss out on rare opportunities in life because of self-doubt. Self-doubt and low self-esteem cause you to withdraw from life in general, and this can lead to depression and other serious mental health problems.

When you underestimate your worth, other people will only see what you see. Therefore, your relationships with others will suffer just because of how you see yourself. After all, you can only attract into your life that which you put out into the universe.

Selling yourself short will only result in more problems in your life, because you won’t feel worthy of anything. You have to remember your worth in life to get anywhere, so if you have been feeling less than stellar lately, read on to find out if you underestimate yourself.

Here are 10 signs you don’t know your own worth or underestimate yourself:

“Don’t underestimate your worth by comparing yourself with others.” – Jaachynma N.E. Agu

  1. You have toxic friendships and relationships.

When you have negative relationships with other people, they will start to rub off on you. After all, negativity is contagious, and when you’re around it often, it becomes difficult to maintain a positive outlook on life. If you underestimate yourself, you’ll likely have poor relationships with others because you can’t give yourself fully to other people.

In other words, you don’t know your true value, so others won’t see it either.

You attract people into your life that match your own energy and vibration, so it would only make sense that if you have low self-worth, you will have relationships that mirror that self-image. Try some positive self-talk in order to boost your self-esteem, because our thoughts become reality, after all.

  1. You play the comparison game a lot.

“If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself”

— Excerpt from Desiderata (Max Ehrmann)

By default, comparing yourself to others and drawing negative conclusions about yourself means you underestimate yourself. To show how destructive the habit of comparison is, we’ll go over a study from Lancaster University. It involves comparing yourself to others on social media and how this can lead to feelings of depression.

Researchers from Lancaster University analyzed studies from 14 countries that included 35,000 participants over the age of 15. They discovered that frequent Facebook users tended to compare themselves with others more, which can result in intrusive, repetitive thoughts. This can result in feelings of depression, exacerbated by the loneliness many people feel who frequent social media.

Furthermore, the study found that feeling jealous of Facebook friends or adding an ex to your friends list can increase feelings of depression. Not surprisingly, the study also discovered that posting negative status updates and making negative social comparisons increased the risk of depression in participants.

So, comparing yourself to others not only points to low self-worth; it also heightens your risk of developing depression.

  1. If you don’t know your self-worth, you let your friends or family greatly influence your decisions.

While friends and family usually have well-intentioned opinions about your life, you might allow them to weigh too heavily in your decisions. People who frequently allow others to dictate their choices usually underestimate themselves, because they think they’re incapable of making the right choice.

This only leads to a more damaged self-image, because the person doesn’t trust him or herself enough to go through with a decision on their own.

  1. You have low self-esteem.

Typical signs of low self-esteem are:

  • Sensitivity to criticism
  • Isolating oneself
  • Irritability or hostility
  • Fixation on personal problems
  • Physical symptoms (fatigue, insomnia, headaches, etc.)
  • Poor self-image
  • Negative thoughts about oneself
  • Feelings of worthlessness and depression
  • Intense self-criticism after failure

Research shows that, in adolescents, low self-esteem can lead to serious problems and illnesses such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance abuse, violent behavior, and even suicide. However, low self-esteem isn’t just a teenage problem; it can carry over into adulthood if behaviors and thoughts aren’t corrected.

If you have low self-esteem, you underestimate yourself, and it may not be entirely your fault. Genetics and upbringing have a huge role to play in our self-image. If you struggle with poor self-image, talk to a licensed therapist or psychologist who can help you work through those issues and overcome them.

  1. You settle for less than you deserve.

Unfortunately, many people do this, and it only hurts them in the long run. If you settle for less, then you exclude many amazing opportunities just because you don’t recognize your own worth. If you have a feeling in your gut that something in your life doesn’t feel right, it might be because you underestimate yourself and write off better opportunities.

When you settle for less in life, you might feel comfortable, but you probably don’t feel happy. Not knowing your worth can make you seek out what seems easier, but not necessarily what will help you grow.

The number one reason people settle for less? Fear.

Fear makes people do a lot of things they wouldn’t normally do, because in our minds, the fear is totally rational. For example, when it comes to staying in a bad relationship vs. being single, many people choose the former because they just don’t want to be alone.

This can apply to a lot of different circumstances and situations in life. Many people settle for a job they hate just because it pays the bills and they don’t think they deserve better. Or, they might not ask for a raise in a job they actually do like because they don’t feel worthy of receiving higher payment.

Do you see how self-destructive and limiting underestimating yourself can be? It robs you of meaningful experiences and progression in life and puts you in a state of complacency.

  1. When you underestimate yourself, you have trouble making decisions.

If you don’t have high self-esteem, then you probably have difficulty making decisions on your own. As we mentioned earlier, you might rely too heavily on friends and family to help you make choices in life, which can lead to dependency issues.

You might not feel confident enough to make the right choice by yourself, leading you to give up that responsibility and place it on someone else. Maybe those people don’t mind giving their opinion, but ultimately, you cannot grow if you use others as a crutch in life. It’s okay to allow others to help you, but doing so too often may point to low self-worth.

  1. You don’t like being on your own.

If you’re underestimating yourself, then you probably don’t enjoy your own company too much. Being alone feels scarier for some people than being in a crowd, because when you’re alone, you finally have to face yourself. Most people spend their life running from themselves instead of learning to feel comfortable in their own skin.

If you don’t like being alone, ask yourself why and consider that you might need to develop a better relationship with yourself.

  1. You fear failure.

This is one of the most common fears, and it’s easy to see why. Humans are hardwired to achieve and win, because in nature, this meant survival. Our instincts haven’t disappeared now that we live in modern society, however.

We still have that core desire to be better than others and to prove that we can do something. As a result, failure doesn’t come easily to most of us. If you have an intense fear of it, however, you may dislike the feelings of shame that accompany failing. Maybe your parents gave you a hard time when you didn’t succeed, and that feeling stuck with you. Maybe you were bullied in school because of your performance on something, which led to built-up hatred and embarrassment.

Whatever the reason, an intense fear of failure may be a sign you underestimate yourself.

  1. If you’re underestimating yourself, you probably need frequent reassurance.

Not only do those with low self-esteem rely too heavily on others to influence their decisions, they might have a reliance on them to boost their self-worth as well. People with high self-confidence don’t need other people to assure them as much because they already value themselves. However, those with self-esteem issues tend to need more reassurance.

  1. You play it safe in life.

If you don’t take opportunities that come your way, this points to you underestimating yourself. Playing it safe means you’d rather sit on the sidelines and take whatever comes your way rather than going out and getting it yourself. This only results in having fewer options in the long run.

Final thoughts

Underestimating yourself can cause a lot of personal issues in life, as you’ve likely learned. Hopefully you can spot these signs in yourself or others so you can start addressing these problems and live your best life possible.

Everyone deserves to have high self-esteem, because no one on this planet is less worthy than someone else. We all are on an equal playing field here, so don’t ever doubt yourself, even if society wants you to do so. A lot of companies and people profit off our self-doubt in some way, so don’t give them the time of day. Instead, spend your time and money on positive thinking and other things that boost your self-esteem.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

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10 Signs You’re Underestimating Yourself


What does it mean to be underestimating yourself?

Put simply, one who underestimates themselves believes that they’re not enough. Underestimating yourself is the antonym of overestimating yourself – a.k.a. having over-confidence.

Underestimate: “to estimate something to be smaller or less important than it actually is.” Synonyms: lowball, underappreciate, underrate, undervalue ~ Oxford University Press (source)

Besides underestimating ourselves, we can underestimate others. Relationships in which one person is known to minimize the other include bosses and subordinates, teachers and students, and, perhaps most sadly, parents and children.

People may undervalue any number of attributes, including their abilities, capabilities, compassion, inner-strength, intelligence, and self-worth (i.e. what they “bring to the table.”) Underestimation of oneself can result in a lifetime of diminished confidence and stress – sometimes even developing into mental health disorders, including anxiety and depression. (1)

What causes someone to underestimate themselves?

“You underestimate yourself because you lack faith in yourself. Each human has the potential to do something great and magical in their life, but it is only possible when one believes in themselves.” – ‘Jill C.’ on Quora

As to why a person underestimates themselves, reasons vary. Psychologists commonly trace the origin of low adult self-esteem to:

  • An abusive or dysfunctional childhood (including being the victim of bullying)
  • Financial difficulties
  • Dissolution of a relationship
  • Environmental stressors
  • Other negative life events

The simple fact is that life often does not go the way we want or expect. Worse, we struggle to “find” the “answer” to life’s problems. Indeed, it is entirely possible to perpetually wade in the confusing undertow of existence – suffering much in the process.

What are the effects of underestimating yourself?

A sense of worthlessness often accompanies the tendency to underestimate oneself. When people lose any sense of self-worth, they are at their most vulnerable. When a person reaches such depths, they often grow desperate to escape the negative and ruminating thoughts that seem to take over the mind.

For example, numerous studies link a low sense of self-worth with alcoholism. In a 283-person study published in the journal Addict Health, researchers found that low self-esteem correlates with poor choices and acts of self-harm, including addiction, prostitution, and theft. (2)

Low self-worth brought about by underestimating oneself may make a person more prone to suicide. It is believed that the adverse emotions brought on by low self-esteem – including depressive symptoms and hopelessness – are primarily responsible for the increased risk of suicide.

Are you underestimating yourself?

First, let us distinguish between humility and modesty and underestimation. The former is a set of personality traits; these traits are generally labeled as positive. The latter is potentially damaging psychologically – and not to be welcomed.

Second, it is essential to fully acknowledge and understand that having pride in your abilities and hard work is not a bad thing. In fact, these attributes help to build confidence and strength in oneself. We all know that price – taken to excess – is not a positive. Fortunately, very few of us have this problem!

Lastly, it entirely possible to subtly underestimate yourself. We discuss some of the ways in which we do so shortly. You may also underestimate the importance of specific activities and frames of mind – all of which allow you to be the best version of yourself. These too are mentioned.

So, what are possible signs that you’re underestimating yourself? Here are ten:

10 Signs You are Underestimating Yourself

1. You always compare yourself to others

Let’s get one thing straight: competitiveness is not necessary for growth. An unhealthy attitude of hyper-competitiveness has, for some inexplicable reason, taken hold in most of modern society.

Now, competition can be a good thing for some people – and in the right circumstances. Scholastic, sports, and fitness competitions, for example, can motivate some to fulfill their potential – and make themselves a better, happier, and more satisfied person in the process.

But constantly gauging how you “measure up” against everyone else is extremely unhealthy. There is only one individual with whom to compare yourself – and that’s, you guessed it, yourself!

2. You are a “people-pleaser.”

People-pleasing is one of the most ubiquitous signs of underestimating yourself. You people-please because you want people to “like you,” thinking that by doing what they want, they will accept you. In other words, you don’t believe you are good enough on your own merits.

Not only does people-pleasing not work (see: high school), it can lead you down the path of indentured servitude. Be the best version of yourself – and you will never have to worry about pleasing others ever again.

3. You have toxic relationships

People who have tendencies toward people-pleasing often also remain in toxic relationships. Why do people do stay in the company of bad characters? Because that’s who they think they deserve. Maybe you have a similar story in your family: the super-smart kid who, out of a desperate need for acceptance, gets in with the wrong crowd, grows up and does the same thing in adulthood.

The old adages “You are the company you keep” and “Birds of a feather flock together” are as true today as ever. Spend your time with positive people who genuinely value the same things you do.

4. You don’t stimulate your brain

Speaking of adages, here’s another: “The mind is a terrible thing to waste.” How true, how true. Consider this: the average American watches 35.5 hours of television per week. We spend nearly as much time plopped in front of the tube as we do working a full-time job!

It goes without saying that television isn’t the best thing for your brain. This is particularly true for children. Scientists have linked prolonged television watching to antisocial behavior, lower verbal intelligence, and altered brain structure. (3)

5. You have no routine

Okay, so this isn’t saying that you need to plan your life down to the minute – but you should have some idea as to where your time is going. It is true that those who don’t manage their time are managed by it – and you can ill afford to waste your most precious resource.

People who underestimate themselves often under- or overestimate the time they have left. Instead, find a middle ground. Also, allocate some time to those things that will allow you to grow as a person.

6. You don’t eat properly

Nutrients from food fuels the body and brain. When we are underestimating the importance of food, we are setting ourselves up to fail. We are undervaluing our physical and mental capabilities. Moreover, the fatigue that we encounter when we don’t eat right makes it easier to fall back into unproductive, unhealthy habits.

To rectify these nutritional inadequacies, focus on getting most of your food from fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Keep the consumption of red meat to a minimum – instead opting for organic poultry and fatty fish.

7. You’re overly anxious in social situations

People with social anxiety experience a profound feeling of anxiety and fear in social situations. A conditioned, intense anxiety or fear may leave the individual feeling as if they’re being watched, looked down upon, or negatively evaluated in either a performance or social situation.

It’s safe to assume that some level of unworthiness underpins the neural mechanisms producing social anxiety. Research shows that other environmental and genetic factors may also contribute to the disorder.

8. You’ve been bullied

Research shows that the effects of bullying persist into adulthood. Per a study conducted by Duke University Medical Center, victims of childhood bullying are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. Victims are also at an increased risk of developing disorders such as panic attacks and agoraphobia (fear of open spaces).

Bullying has profoundly adverse effects on self-image and self-worth that can last into adulthood. It is therefore not unusual that the person often undervalues and underestimates themselves as a result.

9. You are a chronic settler

If you underestimate yourself, you’ve probably have had one or more people tell you that you’re not living up to your potential. It’s also probable that you’ve settled for jobs and relationships that can be considered “beneath” you. (Whether you agree with such a sentiment is an entirely different matter.)

The point here is that people who undervalue their talents and abilities often find themselves in life situations that don’t satisfy the core of who they truly are. This deep dissatisfaction indicates you may be underestimating yourself!

  1. You feel the need to over-explain

This last one is sort of related to people-pleasing. If you feel the innate need to over-explain things, you are likely underestimating some aspect of yourself. You may also feel misunderstood and think that explaining more should clear up confusion. Unfortunately, these added details often only further cloud the situation.

Final Thoughts on Signs You’re Underestimating Yourself

“[E]verything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor

It is human nature to doubt yourself at times. We all do it – and we needn’t beat ourselves up over it. It is when this negative self-image, this underestimation of yourself, becomes the mind’s default state where troubles arise.

You deserve to live a life of contentment and fulfillment. No matter what is going on in your life, always remember that you are enough. You need not convince anyone but yourself of this pertinent fact.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

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Psychologists Explain 4 Reasons to Embrace Your Darkest Self


We talk a lot about positive thinking on our site, but what you may not know is that it’s equally important to embrace negativity as well. As the quote above says, you cannot have light without darkness. So, in order to accept both sides of yourself, you need to get to know them both very well.

Embracing your darkest self doesn’t mean you have to wallow in negativity and lose sight of what makes you shine; it just means you need to understand it better. In this world, we often put on a mask for others because society tells us what it acceptable. You might hear people say, “Smile more!” or “What’s wrong?” if you don’t look happy 24/7. Of course, many people also put on a happy face for others because showing negative emotions is largely looked down upon in our society.

This alone might be contributing to the anxiety and depression epidemic because people feel that they cannot show other sides of themselves. We have to put on so many masks for others that we can start to lose sight of who we really are. Embracing your darkest self will help you tap into parts of yourself that might have been “asleep” before and allow you to release judgement about negative emotions.

In this article, we’ll go over some reasons why going to the dark side (at least for a bit) may not be so bad after all.

Here are 4 reasons to embrace your darkest self:

“In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.” – Francis Bacon

1. It can benefit your mental health.

Acceptance is so important, especially in today’s world where we are bombarded with messages about who we should be. Advertisements, social media, and even our peers and family give us input about what we should buy, what we should be, what we should eat, and everything in between. So, to cut through all the noise in the outside world, you need to have a firm grasp of who you are.

Most people are easily influenced and get lost in this world because they aren’t centered; instead, they are swayed by the crowds and forget their true essence.

One study by psychologist professor Brett Ford actually found that acceptance of your darkest emotions can boost your mental health. According to Ford, “Acceptance involves not trying to change how we are feeling, but staying in touch with your feelings and taking them for what they are.” We are told to always remain positive, but human nature just doesn’t allow for that. As complex beings, we go through a myriad of emotions every day, and it’s time to start embracing that rather than denying our true selves.

The Study

In the study, researchers found that acceptance works across the board; it doesn’t discriminate based on race, socioeconomic status, or any other category. People of varying backgrounds had positive results when using acceptance to manage their emotions. Acceptance of your darkest self can mean using this method whether it’s during the hardest of times or simply for slight inconveniences.

For example, if someone close to you passed away, you can utilize acceptance to help you move through those dark emotions rather than pushing them down and bottling them up. On a lighter note, you can go back to acceptance if someone cut you off in traffic when you’re already running late. Acceptance works for a variety of situations, because in all instances, it teaches you to embrace what is happening rather than fighting it.

Ford added that acceptance plays the most important part in the act of mindfulness. She says it is linked with better mental health more than other teachings of mindfulness such as non-reactivity and observing. She says, “Acceptance, non-judging acceptance, seems to be the key ingredient to mindfulness.”

Three Tests of Acceptance

The study involved three different experiments that studied people’s emotions in various situations.

In the first part, questionnaires were sent to 1,000 undergrad students. The questions centered around mental health and emotional stability. The results, unsurprisingly, showed that students who practiced acceptance had fewer negative emotions and greater well-being.

In the next study, 156 people had to give a three-minute speech as part of a pretend job interview. The ones who practiced acceptance seemed to do much better than the ones who didn’t.

More than half of the participants chosen for this study had experienced a major stress in recent months. For the final study, the researchers asked 222 to keep a diary of the most stressful events that had occurred in the last two weeks.

Once again, the participants who practiced acceptance fared much better in this study. They seemed to take the stressful events in stride and were able to cope with all the situations they faced.

Now that you know how acceptance of your emotions can improve your mental health, we’ll move on to other reasons why acceptance is beneficial to you.

2. It helps you remain in the moment.

Accepting all your emotions – even those parts of your darkest self – means facing them rather than running from them. As you become more open to acceptance, you’ll notice that you remain more rooted in the present moment. You will open new doors to yourself and your emotions, which will deepen your experiences in life. Accepting the good, bad, and ugly emotions will also help you relate to others better, which can richen your relations with people.

Most people never stay in the moment due to ruminating about the past or future too much. Accepting your emotions can help you remain in the now. There are other factors to mindfulness, of course, but acceptance is a perfect way to start.

If something bad happens, acceptance will help you to move through the problem with greater mental focus and understanding. Acceptance allows you to understand your negative emotions on a deeper level and face a problem head-on rather than hiding from it.

3. You’ll get to know yourself better.

Most people live in denial of their true selves, or simply don’t take the time to truly know themselves. This can lead to a feeling of disconnectedness throughout your life, which means you won’t really be living at all. To live fully, you must accept and embrace all sides of yourself, which requires self-reflection and solitude. Being alone doesn’t have to feel lonely. In fact, it can be utterly liberating!

When you embrace your darkest self, you begin to understand your strengths and weaknesses much better. We all have darkness within us, but opening that door doesn’t mean you have to let that side of you take over. It simply means that part of you will no longer live dormant and misunderstood.

Freeing your darkest emotions will allow you to step into yourself more wholly and live life to the fullest. We should not be afraid of negative emotions, for they shape us just as much as the positive ones.

4. It will increase your self-compassion.

Being nonjudgmental toward ourselves is key when it comes to acceptance. Many of us are far too hard on ourselves in this life, which can lead to self-hatred and destructive behaviors. Compassion toward ourselves can help us have sympathy for the human condition, because none of us is perfect.

We all have flaws despite our greatest efforts to reach perfection.

So, increasing awareness and acceptance of yourself will lead to a more compassionate stance toward yourself and others. We have beat ourselves down too long in this life; it’s time to do the opposite and see the beautiful things that unfold from doing so. Self-compassion goes hand-in-hand with acceptance. In embracing yourself, you will start to view yourself as a friend rather than enemy.

Self-compassion simply means treating yourself as you would want a friend to treat you. It means embracing the fact that you will make mistakes and fail in life, but this doesn’t make you unlovable or unsuccessful. Compassion means accepting that you are human, too, and deserve your love and affection as much as anyone else.

Final thoughts on Embracing Your Darkest Self

As you can see, accepting your darkest self can greatly benefit your well-being. Not only can it boost your mental health, but it can keep you rooted in the present, allow you to understand yourself better, and increase compassion toward yourself and others. Acceptance of darkness doesn’t mean you have to shun the light. It simply means embracing both sides of yourself and accepting that human nature requires these two opposing parts.

Acceptance will allow you to live life more deeply and have a greater understanding about your place in it. Getting to know your dark side might seem scary, but it’s vital to your human experience. Without delving in to your true nature, you won’t be able to fully understand yourself, which will in turn affect your understanding of others.

Introspection is becoming a lost art, but it’s so important to our journeys as it helps us remove all the chatter and truly find ourselves.

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10 Things I Did To Pay Off All My Debt In Just 1 Year (Earning Money Online Is One Of Them)


Are you struggling with debt? If yes, then listing your debts, laddering them, saving, learning how to earn money online, and using other strategies can make you debt free.

Here are ten things I did to pay off my debt in just one year:

Listing Debts by Interest Rate

When paying bills gets tough, you might be tempted to stash them away. However, the essential key to clearing your debt is identifying your position. Get all your bills and debts and make a list of the smallest to the largest ones. Then, organize the list by the debts with the most interest to the ones with the least interest. Because the debt with the most interest is incurring more cost, you want to start clearing it first. Once you have your complete list of debts with their interest rates, you will be aware of what you must tackle to be debt-free.

Ladder Your Debts

After listing your debts from the one with the highest rate of interest to the one with the lowest rate of interest, start with the one with the highest rate of interest. Pay off the most you can and once you are through, pay a similar amount to the next debt with the most interest and so on. This will save you a lot of money, and after debts begin disappearing from the list, you will achieve more momentum.

Get an Emergency Saving Fund

Since emergencies can occur, you must prepare for them. However, saving up for an emergency should not delay your plan to clear your debts. Prior to clearing your debts, create a small emergency fund of $1000 or more for unexpected costs like medical bills, car repair, or more. This can be cash you can use when something random comes up. In case there is an emergency and you use the money, top it up before resuming debt payment. However, remember to keep paying your minimum debt payments as you top up your fund to ensure you don’t face costly penalties.

Credit cards typically have high rates of interest. Therefore, if you use your credit card to cater to an emergency, you will end up in more debt. The more the debt you get into, the more months it will take you to clear it, and the more debt you will pay due to higher interest rates. Additionally, you will ruin your credit score.

Keep in mind that an emergency fund includes money that needs to be easily and quickly accessible once there is an emergency. You need to keep it in a safe place like a savings account. The money won’t grow much, but accessing it will be easy and it will always be there if you need it.

Make Minimum Monthly Payments

You must always ensure you meet minimum monthly payments on your debt to avoid incurring late fees and higher interest rates. The ideal way to be on par with monthly card payments is to use the closing date of the card as opposed to the due date of the payment. The closing date completes your monthly bill, and any payment after this date is part of the following month’s statement. The closing date of your card is on the statement.

The report of the card’s balance at the closing date is usually sent to the credit bureau. Hence, if you clear the balance prior to that date, your balance will be zero on your statement. This will assist you in avoiding late fees and higher interest rates in addition to improving your credit score.

Make a Budget and Eradicate Any Extraneous Things

Coming up with a budget is an excellent idea of staying on top of your expenses. As much as budgeting might make you feel broke, it is a way of directing the destination of your money.

An ideal starting point is to acquire your previous month’s expenses from a credit card or bank statement. Use an Excel spreadsheet or a paper budget to organize your expenses. Also, use an app such as Mint to budget your costs. You will need to come up with categories for every expense to create a limit to that expense and indicate your income. Ensure that your income always exceeds your budget. In case it happens, consider cutting some items from the budget.

If it becomes hard to use a computer or paper to budget, you could go for the envelope method. This is a traditional money management method that some people still use to control their spending. In this method, you make payments in cash for every expense you can, using envelopes to hold the money and maintain the budget.

Downsizing Temporarily

Paying off debt does not happen forever. It is a delayed gratification that will enable you to enjoy a life free of debt. Look at the expenses of your previous month and look for things that are not essentials. It could be eating out, entertainment, monthly subscription services, and so on. Do away with these expenses temporarily and then use the savings to clear out more debt.

Increase Your Income

After organizing your debts and creating a budget, the next step is to increase your income. You can do this by looking for a higher paying job. You can also apply for more senior positions at your current company. Additionally, you can acquire a second job so that you can make more money. You can also look into how to earn money online.

Getting a promotion or another job might take a while or prove difficult. But, do you know how to earn money online by utilizing a skill you have? If you are an application programmer or a web designer, there are many clients online looking for someone with your particular set of skills. Registering on sites like Fiver and creating an appealing profile can aid you in landing clients who are willing to pay for your talent, and this will enable you to earn money online.

You don’t need to be a web designer or an app developer to earn money online. There are jobs for hundreds of skills. 20% of the US population is working in the freelance economy with people working remotely. You can be a graphic designer, project manager, writer, or personal assistant, and there are many more ways to earn money online. If you don’t have any skills, you can learn a skill of your interest online in under two weeks and earn money online.

Transferring Balances

If you are incurring high-interest rates, transfer your balances to save and clear your debt. Make sure your minimum payments are met and your balance is cleared prior to the expiry of the introductory interest rate. Otherwise, it will result in late fees and higher interest rates.

In case you have a challenge meeting your balances as well as the minimum payments, contact the Consumer Credit Counselling Service. They offer credit counseling for free together with debt management service at the cost of 3 to 5 percent per month without exceeding $50, depending on the state.

Rewarding Oneself for Small Victories

The debt payment process need not be a chore, and you can make it fun while you do it. Make a game out of it and offer yourself a reward whenever you hit a milestone like clearing one debt off your list.

Each time you clear a debt, celebrate with something you like to do. These can include going to the movies, going out for coffee, buying some ice-cream, or anything that can be managed within your budget. This will motivate you to keep paying off your debt.

Selling Unnecessary Items to Earn Money Online

Look around your home searching for anything that is using unnecessary space because you don’t need it. It could be some massive furniture eating up your space that you can sell off to clear your debt with the money and reduce your financial obligations. You could initiate a garage sale or earn money online by selling things on Facebook, eBay, Craigslist, and other sites.

eBay is the top site for selling things to earn money online. This popular online marketplace has been the best in enabling the sale of used items since the 1990s. You start by creating an account, listing your things to be sold, and uploading pictures of the items. The site offers you access to more than 160 million people. However, eBay will cost you $0.3 to list an item and 10 percent of the sale of each item.

Bonanza is another site where you can list your used merchandise for sale. Its structure resembles eBay but with a lower list cost. You will incur a charge of 3.5 percent of the value of items below $500. If over $500, it will cost you $17.5 plus 1.5% of the sale. You can also link your items on this site to Google shopping.

You can also earn money online by selling items through Etsy. This site specializes in the sale of handcrafted merchandise and used things that are twenty years old or more. These goods are referred to as vintage, and if you have such items, you can sell them on this site for quick money. You incur a cost of $0.2 to list and 3.5% of the sale as well as $0.25 and 3% for processing of the payment. The site has 22.6 million shoppers that can be potential clients for your vintage or handmade items. If you were wondering about how to earn money online, this is it.


Paying off your debts can be a stressful process, but if you organize your debts, budget, and earn money online, you will be able to be free of debt in no time. Knowing how to earn money online can be instrumental since you will get quick cash that can clear your debt impromptu. Earn money online and remain debt free.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

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15 Habits That Waste Money That Most People Don’t Realize

Many people obsess over ways to make more money, but what about ways to not waste money? We all would like to maintain our standard of living, but sometimes it helps to cut back on a few things that can easily break the bank. When we earn money, we like to reward ourselves with purchases, but it can pay off to hold onto that money instead.

If you cut down on your purchases for just one month, think about how much extra you would have to use toward investments, savings accounts, and emergency funds. It takes great sacrifice to hold onto your money, but you’ll reap some big rewards in the end.

With that said, we want to go over a few ways you might be wasting your money so that you have more awareness about your spending habits. This way, you’ll have more control over your finances instead of letting your finances control you.

15 habits that waste money that most people aren’t aware of:

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” – Epictetus

1. Having a bank account.

Obviously, we need bank accounts to survive in today’s modern world, but did you know your bank account could be costing you extra money? Some banks charge just to have a checking account nowadays! They might only charge if you don’t keep a certain minimum amount in your account, but others charge just to keep an account open.

Also, you have to watch out for overdraft fees and insufficient fund fees, as these can really add up over time. Stick to a budget to avoid paying the bank those kinds of fees. That way, you get to keep more money in your wallet.

2. Spending too much on monthly bills.

One way to have more money is to cut down on expenses. If you don’t want to waste money, you should cut out things you don’t really need, such as cable.

Then, look at your other bills such as electricity, cell phone, and water. Are you leaving your phone or laptop plugged in too long? Phantom electricity, or leaving your devices plugged in after they’re fully charged, can cost $20-30 more on your electric bill.

Do you have the most expensive phone plan? See if you can switch to a cheaper one, or switch providers if you have to. Finally, look at your other bills such as water and insurance policies and see if you can lower those.

Most people could probably cut down on their monthly bills and save money, but they just don’t know it! Pay attention to your bills to see where you can cut back.

3. Eating out instead of cooking.

Cooking has become a lost art with the many delivery services and restaurants at our disposal. However, eating out can take a big chunk out of your bank account. In fact, according to a report by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average household spends over $3,000 per year on takeout. If you divide that by 12, that amounts to about $250 per month.

According to a comparison by Forbes of ordering delivery from a restaurant, cooking with fresh ingredients, and using a meal kit service, it costs almost five times as much to order delivery than cook at home, and almost three times as much to use a meal kit delivery service.

As you can see, eating out is a huge waste of money when compared to cooking at home. This doesn’t mean you should never eat out; however, you should try to cut back if you want to save money.

4. Buying packaged or pre-cut fruits and vegetables.

If you go into most grocery stores, you’ll see many fruits and veggies that have been pre-washed and placed into plastic bags for your convenience. You might even see carrots, watermelon, or other fruits and veggies that have been cut and put into containers. Either way, you will lose money if you opt for those because you’re paying for the packaging.

Buy fruits and veggies as close to their natural form as possible. That way, you get the best deal. For instance, opt for heads of lettuce instead of bagged lettuce or whole carrots instead of chopped. This is also the healthier choice.

5. Not paying down debt.

Unfortunately, many people live well beyond their means and rack up thousands in credit card debt. In fact, the average household credit card debt is almost $17,000, and this is only a small portion of most people’s debt.

To give you the full picture, the average American household carries a whopping $137,063 in debt, according to the Federal Reserve’s latest report. If you have any debt at all, paying it off should come first. Put any other expenses aside and use whatever income you have to pay off that debt. This way, you won’t have it hanging over your head accruing interest for years on end.

6. Using credit cards too often.

As we stated above, credit card debt has reached an all-time high. In fact, according to an annual Experian report, the average American holds $6,375 in credit card debt, which is an increase of 3% from last year.

Only use credit cards when absolutely necessary, because many of them have high interest rates.

7. Buying coffee every day before work.

If those long lines at Starbucks aren’t enough to deter you from buying coffee, maybe this startling statistic will. According to an Acorns Money Matters report, 41% of millennials admit to spending more on coffee than they put toward their retirement plan. Americans spend about $1,100 a year, or $3 per day, on coffee.

8. Buying new instead of used.

Did you know that the average new car depreciates by 10% the second you drive off the lot? On average, a new car depreciates by 60% in the first five years of its life. Used cars depreciate as well, but usually at a much lower rate.

Buying things new just isn’t necessary. Plus, it’s much more environmentally friendly to reuse an item than buy a brand new one.

9. Buying extended warranties.

If you don’t read the fine print of the warranty you’re buying, you might be wasting a ton of money. Warranties don’t typically cover big problems you could encounter with an appliance or car, and to make matters worse, you might be buying duplicate coverage. Make sure you only buy warranties if they benefit you.

10. Making impulse purchases.

Ever wonder why stores put candy, gum, chips, and soft drinks near the checkout lines? They hope you’ll make an impulsive decision at the last minute and add something to your cart. It’s smart marketing, and it works. Five out of six Americans make impulse purchases. If you want to curb this habit, stick to your grocery list or opt to do online shopping so you aren’t tempted at the register.

11. Buying name-brand items.

We’ll use medicines as an example. If you look at Advil vs. the generic brand, you’ll notice Advil is likely a couple dollars more expensive despite having the same ingredients as the cheaper one. This goes for everything from clothes to food to medication. Always buy generic; you’ll save a ton of money.

12. Not having a budget.

Having a budget gives you a blueprint of your financial situation. If you don’t have one, you won’t know where your money is going or how much you have left over, which means you’ll likely waste a lot of money in the end.

13. Procrastinating.

For some purchases, such as airline tickets and hotel rooms, it pays off to buy ahead of time. As you already know, airline tickets and hotel rates skyrocket the closer it gets to the departure date, so try to buy these items as early as possible.

14. Not using coupons.

Any time you go grocery shopping, you should skim the weekly ad for coupons or deals. Otherwise, you might miss out on some good savings. Also, you can download apps like Groupon to use coupons on everything from mini-golf to a day at the spa. Coupons are everywhere, so if you aren’t in the habit of using them, you’re wasting a lot of money.

15. Not using your gym membership.

So, it’s a new year and you’ve committed yourself to becoming healthier. A lot of people have this goal at the start of the year, but don’t see it through to the end. Did you know around 67% of people sign up for a membership and never use it? If you have an unused gym membership, cancel it as soon as possible so you don’t keep losing money.

Final thoughts on Wasting versus Saving Money

We hope the tips above can help you save money while also using your money more wisely. Money is a complex subject, and everyone has different budgets and incomes. However, this advice can be applied universally and can benefit pretty much anyone.

Once you learn to rule your money instead of letting it rule you, a whole new world of possibilities will become available to you.

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20 Ways to Have More Control Of Your Finances


If you live in the West – say the United States or the U.K. – you know all too well the problems that people have with managing finances. The savings rate is abysmal – something like 4.8% for Americans. (It’s even less for Brits.)

Meanwhile, people in this part of the world have racked up trillions of dollars in credit card debt. In 2017, alone, Americans charged over $92 billion to their credit cards. Over 60 percent have less than $1,000 in savings.

Think the problem is about not making enough money? Think again. While American families earning less than $25,000 per year have the most trouble saving, one in three households with an annual income of $50,000-$100,000 live paycheck to paycheck. One in four making over $150,000 (!) are in the same predicament.

How can we be this bad with money? What can possibly explain such unsustainable and irrational behavior?

We might agree with the famous comment from Will Rogers that, “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”

Honestly though, there is one saying that is applicable throughout this entire article: “It’s not how much money you make; it’s how much you keep.” As you will see, your income is only a (small) part of the equation. The good news is that you can change your spending habits. Later, we are going to discuss 20 ways to have more control over your finances!

First, let’s talk about the psychology of finances (and spending!)

The Psychology of Finances (and Spending!)

“Consumer behavior is the study of individuals, groups, or organization and all the activities associated with the purchase … including the consumer’s emotional, mental, and behavioral responses that precede or follow these activities.” – Wikipedia: Consumer behavior

Our subconscious mind drives our financial decision-making – this is why people have so much trouble altering their spending habits. Advertising and marketing companies make a lot of money exploiting the psychological processes that drive spending.

Can we flip the tables on these schemers? Yes! It all starts with understanding the rationale behind why we spend. With a basic understanding of consumer psychology, we can practice financial self-awareness. This powerful knowledge will assist you in recognizing and correcting bad habits you might have with your finances.

The psychology of spending can be broken down into seven parts: the psychology of advertising, of “Keeping Up with the Joneses,” of impulse buying, of “But it’s a good deal!” of consumer therapy, of loving money, and of present bias.

The psychology of advertising:

As mentioned, advertisers and marketers make a living – a handsome living – out of knowing what makes consumers buy. Consciously, we know that sports drink won’t give us phenomenal abilities – but your unconscious doesn’t. That’s advertising in a nutshell.

The psychology of “Keeping Up with the Joneses”:

There’s a reason why many six-figure earners have little to no savings – and it’s called the “appearance of success.” It isn’t enough to be highly-educated with a good job; now they need to show everyone else. The problem, of course, is that they’re sacrificing financial independence for the sake of “social approval.”

The psychology of impulse buying:

Walk into a supermarket, any supermarket, and you’ll probably see one (or all!) of the following items near the checkout counters: candy, soda, “bargain” items, magazines, and electronic accessories. Supermarkets like Wal-Mart and Target strategically place every item to increase the chance of its sale. (This is marketing psychology 101.)

The psychology of “But it’s a good deal!”:

We often use the “But, it’s a good deal!” excuse to rationalize impulsive spending. Now, buying items on sale that you truly need, or were planning to buy, is smart shopping. However, it is important to remember that there is still a cost associated with every purchase – whether or not it’s a bargain. Try to keep the cost in mind, not just the savings. When that $100 pair of shoes is a “can’t miss” 75 percent off, you’re still spending 25 bucks.

The psychology of consumer therapy:

Studies show that the reward system of the brain goes haywire when we buy things. The neurochemical dopamine, associated with feels of pleasure and excitement, spikes when we buy something on impulse. Of course, these feelings of bliss and excitement are transitory, giving way to guilt and low self-esteem.

The psychology of buying love with money:

A strange trend has developed since the advent of consumerism: the idea that money can buy or replace love. This absurd notion continues to increase, in large part to the epidemic of overwork prevalent in many developed countries. Can’t go to your son’s ballgame? Meh, just stop and get him a new mitt. Forget your anniversary? Just charge that diamond necklace to your Sapphire card.

The psychology of present bias:

Another obstacle to circumvent on the way to financial sanity: the brain’s predisposition for instant gratification. Present bias, as defined by behavioral psychologists, is “the tendency of people to give stronger weight to payoffs that are closer to the present” than in the future. Here is an excellent example of present bias in the context of behavioral economics: waiting until the last minute to save for retirement.

Ask yourself these questions to help you make better financial decisions when shopping:

  • Have I given thought to purchasing this before I saw it just now?
  • Is this product available for a lower price elsewhere?
  • Will I feel happy about this purchase, if I were to make it, 48 hours from now?
  • Is this something that I need?
  • How often will I use this product or service?
  • Do I have something similar, at home, that I can use?
  • Do I feel calm and collected when I consider the purchase, or scattered and irrational?

20 Ways to Get Control of Your Finances

Now that we’ve discussed the psychology of money and spending, let’s go over 20 easy ways that you can get control of your finances!

  1. Get a jar

We’re going old school with this one. If you can, buy an old-fashioned mason jar (you can also buy a money-counting jar for like $5). Now, go on a change scouring expedition. Any loose change and dollar bills go into this jar from now on. When you have a couple of bucks extra at the end of the day, put it in the change jar. The amount doesn’t matter; the idea is to help get your brain into the habit of saving.

  1. Track your spending

Get a pen and piece of paper and carry it around with you for a week. Jot down every penny spent (don’t forget to write it down every time). At the end of the week, tally up the numbers. Where is your money going?

  1. Know your income

Sounds simple, right? You’d be surprised at how many people don’t know how much is going into their bank account each month. You absolutely must know this amount by heart.

  1. Check your credit report

Millions of people have errors in their credit reports – and these errors can cost you, big time. Double- and triple-check the information on your credit report for any inaccuracy. Challenge any items that you do not recognize as legitimate. (You may need to research DIY credit repair.)

  1. Find a good savings account

As banks become more consolidated, it becomes harder to find a savings account that offers a decent interest rate. However, there are some good ones. Ally Bank offers a 1.9% APY savings account, as does American Express.

  1. Sign up for direct deposit

If you haven’t already, sign up for direct deposit with your employer. Besides being super convenient, having your paycheck direct deposited allows you to see your earnings and spending trends over time.

  1. Clip coupons

Swallow your pride and sharpen your scissors. You can save some serious dough clipping those coupons. Don’t think saving a measly 30 cents on that jar of pickles is worth the effort? Assuming that you shop for groceries once a week, cashing in just ONE 30-cent coupon each time would save you about $16 in only one year.

  1. Automate your savings

Most employers have a direct deposit system that allows you to allocate your net pay into one or more checking and savings accounts. Automating your savings is the best way to ensure that you don’t squander it.

  1. Cut up your credit cards

Or, just keep one to help you build and maintain your credit score. Once you get into the habit of saving a bit of your paycheck each week, you’ll find that you don’t need to whip out that credit card nearly as often.

  1. Sell your car

Think about your car payment. Does it cause you undue stress and anxiety? Consider selling it and buying something cheaper. While you may not “look cool” (hint: nobody cares), you’ll enjoy the financial weight lifted off your shoulders.

  1. Cut out the fees!

Fees are the devil, and boy, do they add up. Check with debit and credit card statements for any “miscellaneous fees” (ugh). Then, contact your financial institution(s) and inquire about getting them waived. If they refuse, take your business elsewhere.

  1. Eat at home

Eating out may just be the worst money-wasting habit of all. Besides making you fatter with that processed garbage, the markup on the raw product used by restaurants and fast food joints is ridiculous. (No, not even that super-delicious steak should cost $30.)

  1. Look for deals

The market being as competitive as it is, there is no reason to pay full price for anything. While you may feel the need to scratch your consumerist itch, exercising a bit of discipline and scouring the internet for a day or two can save you some serious cash – especially for big-ticket items.

  1. Pay yourself first

Before you cut anyone a check (does anyone still use those?) pay yourself. Put five to 10 percent – or more – into your savings account. (If you’ve automated your savings, you’re already doing this!)

  1. Go minimalist

This writer truly believes that consumerism is a pointless, expensive, and most of all, wasteful, experiment. Minimalism isn’t about eating top ramen while watching your 18-inch black-and-white T.V. It’s about buying things that you truly value and that you will use regularly. Give it some thought.

  1. Give up control

Is your husband or wife better with money than you? If so, why are you still handling it? Stop being your own worst enemy and let them have the financial reins.

  1. Use a list

When grocery shopping (or shopping for anything else with five or more items), you should be carrying a written list. Use this list. Get in and get out.

  1. Find a second (or third) source of income

While more money is rarely the panacea that it’s made out to be, some extra money in the bank never hurts. The internet affords you opportunities to work at home part-time; from filling out surveys to freelancing. Another gig may just be the cushion you need.

  1. Pay down your debt

While paying yourself first is Rule Number One, paying down your debt is still important. Because interest accumulates fastest on the largest debt amount, this is the debt that requires your attention first.

  1. Meditate

Huh? Wha–? Why is meditation on here? Fair question – and here’s the answer: we are more prone to act irrationally when we’re stressed, burned out, and so forth. The purpose of meditation is to quiet your mind. Another ancillary benefit to meditative practice: more joy in the here and now.

Final Thoughts on Gaining Control of Your Finances

Changing deeply entrenched financial habits requires attention, deliberate action, and willpower. In other words, establishing smart spending and saving habits requires that we be conscious consumers. Act with awareness. Don’t go on “autopilot,” especially when you are in a department store within arm’s reach of your wallet or purse.

Times are tough – and they will probably remain that way for the foreseeable future. While you’ll experience more than one bump in the road on the way to getting in control of your finances, there are few things more liberating than knowing you are no longer at the whim of those wishing to separate you from your hard-earned money!

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

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25 Phrases Smart People Never Say


Smart people know that language matters. They understand that what they say reveals their beliefs and thoughts.

This is why those who are intelligent, mature, confident, and reliable speak with care. They make sure their words are appropriate for the time and they choose to speak transparently. It’s a great way to inspire others to believe in them!

If you want others to think you are intelligent, start with the way you speak. Here are some phrases smart people never say.

Here Are 25 Phrases Smart People Never Say

“Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.” – Unknown

1. I have a high IQ.

According to this study, there are 9 kinds of intelligence. IQ tests examine only one particular kind, and they usually favor people who are good at solving puzzles and problems. They aren’t magic tests that locate smart people.

When you’re talented at doing something, you deserve to feel good about it. But saying that you have a high IQ and citing it as a reason you’re right is arrogant and, frankly, not very smart of you.

2. It’s always been done this way.

Just because something has been done a certain way doesn’t mean it’s the best way. This is even more important to note because of the advancement of technology. Methods and processes are constantly getting revamped. To resist is often to stand in the way of something becoming better.

Smart people don’t resist positive change! They want things to be smoother and more efficient. They’re happy to learn new technology and adapt to developments well.

3. Needless to say…

Prefacing a sentence with this phrase automatically makes people tune out. It suggests that you’re stating the obvious and therefore wasting everyone’s time!

Smart people just keep this phrase out of their vocabulary. They don’t want listeners to become less engaged in what they have to say.

4. With all due respect… / No offense, but…

When someone prefaces a statement with “with all due respect,” it usually means they’re going to say something disrespectful. When they say “no offense,” it usually means what they’re about to say will be offensive. And guess what? People on the receiving end know this!

Instead of using these phrases, try to find a way to take disrespect or offense out of the equation altogether. Smart people don’t want to put someone on the defensive before they’ve even gotten their point across!

5. I am merely attempting to inculcate the perception whereby….

There’s nothing wrong with having a big vocabulary. But smart people know that there is a time and place for showing off bombastic words. Everyday, casual conversation is not one of them! In fact, it makes you sound like you’re trying too hard and can be cringe-worthy.

6. I can’t!

You attract what you think, and smart people know this. If you think you can’t do something, then you probably can’t – an idea immortalized by Henry Ford. So think you can, and you’ll find a way! Utilize positive thinking and don’t be overly pessimistic.

7. Sorry to bother you, but…

Constantly apologizing is not a smart person’s habit. It shows you as overly submissive and makes it easier for others to assume you’re in the wrong. Instead of apologizing next time, try these phrases instead:

  • Good morning, could I ask for assistance?
  • Thanks for taking the time to listen!
  • I appreciate your patience.

This helps you sound more confident and shows that you’re intelligent, capable, and worthy of respect!

8. Maybe if people were a little smarter, they’d get it.

Implying others are stupid and that you’re well above them in intelligence doesn’t make you look smart. In fact, it’s quite the contrary – people will probably be offended by that kind of attitude! A quick trip into Reddit’s r/iamverysmart will show you exactly what we mean.

No one comes into the world knowing everything. When you act like you’re above everyone else instead of politely educating others, you’re being counterproductive. It’s arrogant, pointless, and honestly makes you sound much less intelligent than you may think you are!

9. You’re (blank) for a (blank)!

Complimenting someone and adding something about their identity to justify the compliment is unflattering, rude, and unnecessary. This means phrases like:

  • You’re tough for a girl!
  • You’re smart for a kid/teen!
  • You’re loyal for a man!
  • You look good for your age!

Saying things like this shows that your thoughts are governed by stereotypes. It suggests you have trouble seeing others as unique individuals. That’s not very smart at all!

10. This isn’t my fault.

Even if you only played a small role in an error, own up to it. Holding yourself accountable shows bravery, a willingness to change, and a good heart. It also suggests intelligence, as intelligent individuals strive to learn from mishaps.

Even if you had no hand in a mistake, casting blame around is not helpful. Smart people don’t waste time on pointing fingers. Instead, they move on quickly so that the mistake can be fixed.

11. Can you do this for free?

Ask any freelance worker about their worst client experiences and they are sure to bring up buyers who asked for free work.

Smart people know that time is money because their own time is valuable to them. As such, they understand that the time of others is equally valuable. They do not feel entitled to the skills of others.

12. I hate my job.

If you only have negative thoughts about your job, you’re going to hate it even more. When a job is really terrible, smart people will find other options. Can they afford to quit? Can they work towards a certain goal? Can they talk to someone about bettering the workplace environment? If not, can they practice better positive thinking?

13. I will try.

While you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep, you also shouldn’t be afraid of making too many promises that you can keep. As Yoda once said (and I’m paraphrasing here), “There’s no try – only do, or do not!” Smart people aren’t afraid of making a commitment to a task, and this inspires others to believe in them more.

14. Everyone else does it.

Just because everyone does something doesn’t make it right. Smart people know better than to follow the crowd for the sake of fitting in.

If something is wrong, smart people know how to speak up. If they can’t actively have an impact just then, they will do things the right way regardless. They know that one small action can make all the difference.

15. All (blank) are (blank)!

Generalizations make it sound like you’re incapable of thinking beyond stereotypes. While there is some truth to stereotypes, judging all people based on them isn’t what smart people do. This means phrases like:

  • Women are so emotional.
  • Hispanic people are so fiery!
  • All men are lazy.

Many times, generalizations reveal inner prejudices and a reluctance to see others as they truly are. And let’s face it – prejudice isn’t smart, and never will be!

16. This must be done perfectly!

No one is perfect. According to behavioral science professor and author, Kristen Lee Ed.D., LICSW, expecting perfection is to set yourself up for failure. Smart people are aware that things cannot be flawless. Instead, they work on doing things to the best of their abilities, and expecting others to do the same. Then, they can make minor improvements and learn from mistakes.

17. You always… / You never…

These are typically exaggerations. For the most part, few people “always” or “never” do something. Even when you don’t think they’re overstatements, those statements only add fuel to the fire of arguments or disagreements. They create drama, cause tension, and put listeners on the defensive. Smart people use calmer, more positive language.

18. I don’t care.

It’s very rare that someone truly doesn’t care about something. This is often a statement said emotionally, meaning that most people who use it do care, at least to some degree. So using this phrase under these circumstances is extremely counterproductive, and a smart person would never do that!

19. I told you so!

This is a childish phrase that doesn’t accomplish anything. Instead of trying to “win” an argument, smart people want to find solutions to problems. The mistake they warned the perpetrator against has been made, and what’s done is done. Now, they just want to fix it, which is the intelligent way to handle it according to Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D.

20. This might be a dumb question, but…

There is no such thing as a dumb question. But prefacing your queries this way certainly make them sound dumber! It can also put the listener into the wrong mindset, preventing positive thinking as they dread what you’re going to ask.

Smart people know that speaking with confidence is key. They are not afraid to ask questions because they know requesting clarification is better than making assumptions.

21. This is not fair!

Well, that’s just life – it isn’t fair sometimes. Complaining about unfairness makes you seem immature. When smart people think something is unfair, they will try to better understand it.

They will communicate with the person who they think has an unfair advantage in order to gain their perspective. They’ll talk to others about how things can be made more balanced. They know complaining will get them nowhere!

22. It is what it is.

Some people think saying things like this shows that they are calm and at peace with the world. What this phrase actually denotes is a lack of desire to make things better. Smart people don’t settle for bad deals. If something is bad, they will take steps to change it.

23. No one does it, so I won’t, either.

It’s important to fight mob mentality if you want to be intelligent. Just because no one does it doesn’t mean it should not be done!

Smart people know that putting in a little extra effort can go a long way. That’s how they’re able to find success! By setting a good example for others, they become leaders and trendsetters.

24. It’s up to you! / It doesn’t matter to me.

Even when you have no opinion about something, that doesn’t mean you should remain passive. Smart people will take the time to contribute to a discussion. Here are some examples of things you can say instead of retreating to the background:

  • I have no opinion either way, but we should probably consider these factors.
  • When you make your decision, here’s what to keep in mind.
  • Could I have more information so I can make an informed decision?

25. I’m a very smart person.

If you have to specify that you’re smart, something’s wrong somewhere. There’s a difference between being confident and being cocky, and you don’t want to be the latter!

Smart people are those who present compelling ideas and arguments. Most understand what is appropriate in different social situations. And none of them need to state that they are smart in order to get their point across. They let their ideas and actions do the talking!

Final Thoughts On Phrases Smart People Never Say

Being smart isn’t just about factual intelligence. Emotional and social intelligence are just as important. Knowing what not to say in certain situations is crucial to anyone who wants to present themselves as smart and capable.

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