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What Do You Need Most In Your Relationship, According to Your Zodiac Sign?


While zodiac signs are a controversial topic often met with some skepticism, there are plenty of people out there who read the zodiac for relationship advice. That’s why you see “zodiac sign” listed under profile requirements on most dating sites out there. It seems many people want to see their potential mate’s zodiac sign before talking to them to see if they will even be compatible before going through the trouble.

If you do believe in zodiac signs, you’ll know that each of the twelve astrological signs has different characteristics and behaviors that make up their personality. No two signs are the same, of course, but most of them have underlying similar traits. For example, many Cancers are consider to be moody, contemplative, reclusive people who are highly sensitive and intuitive.

Because each zodiac sign has different traits, some signs will be more compatible than others. For example, water signs are highly emotional, so they pair well with someone down to earth and stable, such as an earth sign. Feisty fire signs such as Aries typically pair well with an air sign such as Gemini. Of course, relationships go a lot deeper than zodiac signs, but it helps to know compatibility first by seeing if your personalities mesh well together.

So, we’ll go over what you might need in a relationship and who you would be most compatible with.

What do you need in a relationship, according to your zodiac sign?

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Aries need someone to be upfront with them, no matter the cost. The Ram appreciates someone who doesn’t sugarcoat things and can handle their sometimes brash, straightforward manner of communicating. Aries are bold and transparent and need someone confident and stable by their side. They have a good sense of direction and strong ambition, so they don’t want anyone holding them back.

Aries don’t typically match up well with people who are shy or timid. They are best complemented by people who have a strong personality but also know how to have a good time.

Aries are most compatible with Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Sagittarius, and Leo.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Taurus are headstrong signs that love their routines. They don’t do very well with change or compromises. They see life through their lens and have a difficult time understanding other people’s perspectives sometimes. They need someone who will get them out of their shell and show them a new way of seeing the world.

Taurus needs someone who they can feel comfortable with and who won’t mind digging a little deeper to uncover their real thoughts and feelings.

This zodiac sign is most compatible with Cancer, Pisces, Virgo, and Scorpio.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Above all else, Geminis need someone who is stable and sure of who they are. True to their nature, Geminis are constantly changing their views, personalities, and wardrobes, so they are hard to keep track of, to say the least. Because of their flighty, nervous nature, Geminis do best in a relationship with zodiac signs who are secure and confident in themselves. Geminis are a fun, upbeat sign, so they don’t typically mesh well with moody signs such as Water.

Geminis have a real love of life and are complemented best by people who share that passion. This sign might seem wishy-washy, but they will settle down if they find someone who can make them feel wild and calm at the same time.

Geminis are most compatible with Aquarius, Libra, Aries, and Leo.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

In a relationship, Cancers will give everything to their partner. Because of this, they often lose themselves in relationships because they put their partner first, always. They need someone who is stable to handle them during times of emotional distress and existential crises (which happen often).

Cancers are diehard idealists who have an image in their minds of how a partner and relationship should be. When this image is shattered, they can get pretty hurt and confused. So, they need a partner who is up to the challenge and who can handle their intense emotions and moods.

Cancers need comfort, above everything, so finding a relationship with someone who will get cozy with them and cook them food is their idea of perfection.

Cancers are compatible with Capricorn, Virgo, Taurus, and Pisces.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Leos love being the center of attention and have a lust for life. They love to have a good time and make new friendships. Though Leos can be a little vain, they have good hearts and would do anything to help others. Leos need someone confident who can keep up with them and show them a good time.

Leos are most compatible with other fire signs, as well as Gemini and Libra.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Virgos feel most comfortable thinking of things in terms of numbers and logic. They don’t understand anything that can’t be computed or measured, and have a hard time in relationships because of this. In fact, they are a bit skeptical of love since it isn’t tangible, and prefer relationships with people who are mature and serious. This zodiac sign doesn’t do well with people who are overly emotional or moody.

However, because Virgos aren’t very lovey-dovey or mushy, they need someone to bring them out of their shell a bit and tap in to their emotional side. In a relationship, Virgos do best with people who are emotionally available but not totally sappy. They need a balance between logic and emotions.

Virgos are best paired with other earth signs as well as water signs.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Libras need equality, peace, and stability in a relationship. They match up best with zodiac signs who can provide for them as well as give them a sense of hope. Libras need someone they can believe in, as they are very much about justice and humanitarian issues. They need a relationship with someone they can admire.

Libras are most compatible with other air signs and fire signs such as Aries and Sagittarius.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Scorpios value trust in a relationship above everything. They’ve been burned many times before and have developed trust issues as a result. So, if you’re a Scorpio, you need to go for someone straightforward who isn’t looking to play any games.

You are a highly emotional sign but hide your feelings because you don’t like showing vulnerability unless you can deeply trust that person. You need someone who can be your rock and show you that some people are worthy of your trust and openness.

Scorpios match up best with Cancer, Pisces, Virgo, and Capricorn.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Sagittarians are restless souls who are always down for a good adventure. They don’t like sitting for too long and prefer being outdoors or playing sports. They have a quick wit and independent personality. They tend to avoid depending on others because they can’t stand being let down.

Sagittarians need someone who can run wild with them who won’t slow them down or try to change them. If you are a Sagittarius, you don’t want to be tamed by the constraints and demands of the modern world. You need someone a little rough around the edges who won’t mind a bit of an unconventional life.

Sagittarius is most compatible with Aries, Gemini, Aquarius, and Leo.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Hard-working and driven, Capricorns can easily become workaholics because they have a knack for success. They stay late at the office and take it easy on the weekends to gear up for the next work week. Capricorns desperately need a relationship with a zodiac sign who will help them stray from their routine a bit and loosen up their tight grip on life.

Capricorns have a hard time relaxing and tend to be uptight about work and other aspects of life. Water signs make a good match, because they can help soften the edges of this zodiac sign and provide them with some peace and tranquility.

Because of their “Type A” personality, Capricorns tend to go well with Cancer, Pisces, or Scorpio.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Aquarians love learning about new cultures and are always planning new trips in their minds. They have a passion for art, travel, culture, and adventure, and are always down for a good conversation.

Because of their sophisticated personalities, they need someone similar who can have an intelligent conversation but who can also hop on a plane with them spontaneously.

Aquarius are most compatible with fire signs and air signs like Gemini.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Pisces are sensitive, romantic, and affectionate. They are old-school romantics who swoon over chocolates, a nice dinner, and an expensive bottle of wine. They are creative souls as well who tend to live more in their heads than in reality.

Because of their emotional nature, they need a zodiac sign to bring them back down to earth, such as Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn.

Final thoughts

We hope you have learned a bit about which zodiac sign you are most compatible with. Don’t take zodiac signs too seriously, though, as there is a lot more to a person than the day they are born. Use zodiac sign compatibility as more of a fun icebreaker than a deal breaker, in other words.

The post What Do You Need Most In Your Relationship, According to Your Zodiac Sign? appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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Psychology Explains 10 Ways To Let Go of Worry


Stress can be debilitating, but it doesn’t have to be. We all deal with stressful situations in life, but some of us know the secret to overcoming these struggles. As you learn how to let go of these stressful moments and feelings, you’ll be able to live life to the fullest.

How to Let Go of Worrying

It’s impossible to eliminate all stress from our lives, but we can all do a better job of learning how to manage stress and handle our own fears.

If you’re ready to learn how to let go of your anxiety, keep reading.

1. Identify the Cause

Figuring out why you’re worried is the first part of letting go of your anxiety.

Why are you so anxious? Are you actually excited about something and are worried that it’s too good to actually be real? Are you worried that something bad will happen?

Answering these questions is a good way to come to terms with what is really driving your anxieties.

If you dig deep enough, you’ll see what’s really underneath these worries.

Excitement, fear, sadness, and a combination of many other different emotions often culminate in this feeling of being worried. Once you can break down your anxiety into smaller feelings, you’ll be better able to get a hold of how you’re feeling and work on eliminating your anxiety altogether.

Though it will take time, making this step forward will allow you to get started with dismantling your anxiety.

2. Recognize What You Can’t Control

In life, we want to take control of everything. From our emotions to the direction in which our lives are going, we all try our best to get what we want out of life.

However, this isn’t possible in every situation. Our most intricate plans have a way of falling apart, regardless of how much hard work we put into them.

When we are unable to realize our goals, it can lead to feeling frustrated, hopeless, and worried about how things will turn out after our initial attempts have failed.

Though these moments can be a major letdown, if you find yourself feeling this way, you must understand that you can’t control everything in life.

From other people, to the weather, to relationships, you can only control your own actions.

While this realization may seem frustrating to some people, in reality, it is rather freeing.

Being able to let go of any feelings of guilt, frustration, and stress caused by not feeling in control will give way to feeling more confident about your choices—the only thing you can control.

3. Realize that Worrying is Useless

Worrying is ultimately a waste of energy.

Oftentimes, the most stressful situations are ones that can’t be planned for. Situations like car trouble or a natural disaster are all examples of potential stress-inducing issues that will happen whether you worry or not.

Similarly, most of the scenarios we fear will happen never actually happen. Whether you’re worried you’ll lose your job or you’re afraid you’ll never find the love of your life, most of this anxiety is in your head.

Since you ultimately can’t control what will happen to you in life, what’s the point in worrying about something you have no control over?

4. Understand You’re a Survivor

No one escapes life unscathed.

We all have our own war stories of broken hearts, hurt feelings, and some of the worst situations we’ve ever experienced.

Looking back at all that, you must realize that you’ve gone through all these challenging situations and you’ve come out of them alive.

You’ve survived everything that you’ve been through and you’ll continue to keep surviving.

You’re more powerful than you know and stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Once you accept this fact and let go off your fear, you’ll see that whatever you’ve been worrying about doesn’t stand a chance. You’ve proven to life and yourself that you’re more than the things that threatened to hold you back.

Whatever happens next, you can handle it.

5. Recognize Inconveniences for What They Are

We’ve all been there. What is really a minor inconvenience seems like a catastrophe in the moment.

Taking a step back to recognize inconveniences for what they are will help you keep your anxiety in check and let go.

Whenever you feel yourself start to tense up with stress again, ask yourself if it’s truly a disaster of if it is a small inconvenience.

When we are overworked, stressed out, and low on energy, even the smallest things can feel like the end of the world.

If you can, take some time for yourself and decompress before addressing the situation again. This wil help you let learn to let go.

Once you are centered, analyze the problem and see whether or not it is worth worrying over. As soon as you understand that the problem isn’t as unmanageable as it seems, you’ll be better able to find a solution to the issue.

6. Trust Yourself, You Got This

We live, we learn. The more experience you have, the better equipped you will be to handle the curveballs that life throws your way.

Most of the stress we have comes from feeling like we aren’t capable of handling a situation. Whether you’re worrying about finding money for a financial issue or working through a complicated problem in a relationship, things can easily seem overwhelming when you doubt yourself.

Regardless of what you’ve experienced in life, always believe in yourself.

Whatever problem you may be worrying about, you have every tool you need to solve your issues. Even if things don’t work out as perfectly as you may hope, the more you trust yourself, the better you will be able to navigate these situations and let go of the fear.

7. Honor Your Journey

Life is meant to be experienced.

Throughout the good and the bad, it’s important to honor the journey you are going through.

Every momentary inconvenience or setback will only help to shape you into the person you are becoming. Even the moments that are the most painful allow you to become a stronger person and prepare you to take on other challenges in life.

As you go through life, choose to embrace all your experiences rather than worry about what may or may not happen.

Take joy where you can find it and learn what you can from any mistakes. With this sort of mindset in place, you’ll find that you can look forward to any hand that life deals you as you know it is only serving to make you into the best version of yourself.

8. Ask for Help When You Need It

One of the main reasons life’s struggles can seem so overwhelming is the fact that we try to do life alone.

While this sort of independent mindset is helpful in certain situations, no one is an island.

Not everything in life is easy to face alone and we don’t have to go through these issues by ourselves. It’s time to let go of the idea that we don’t need anyone else.

When things start to become too overwhelming, it’s okay to ask for help.

Our friends and family members care about us and are often willing to help in any way they can.

If you ever take on too much, don’t make it worse by drowning in the fear that you don’t have a way out of the situation. Though it may be uncomfortable to ask for help, it doesn’t mean you’re weak.

Being able to admit that we can’t handle something on your own is a strength that more of us should start embracing.

9. Learn How to Let Go

Anxiety doesn’t have to stay with us. All the worry, stress, and fear that we invite into our lives can be eliminated when we make the decision to let these things go.

From forgiving someone that has wronged us to letting go of past mistakes that seem to haunt us, understanding how to accept things and move on from them is the sort of cathartic experience that allows us to move on and free ourselves from anxiety that would’ve otherwise held us back.

As you go through your daily life, you’ll find more ways to release the momentary anxiety you feel so you can start fresh each day.

10. Prepare for Positivity

Many of us invite needless negativity into our lives. While it may seem important to worry about all the little things like what to wear, what to say, and what the day may bring, these worries only serve to make us feel negatively about ourselves and our lives.

Similarly, thoughts where we criticize ourselves cause further stress and lead to us doubting ourselves.

Avoid all these dissatisfactory emotions and thoughts by focusing on removing negativity from your life.

Spend a few moments in the morning reflecting on all the positive things in your life.

Go over all the amazing characteristics that make you you and remind yourself that you’re capable of anything.

To avoid stressing out over the little things, take some time the night before to plan out your outfits, schedule, meals, and anything else that might cause stress in the coming days.

The better prepared you are mentally, physically and emotionally, the less stress you’ll experience.

Final Thoughts on How to Let Go

Letting go of your stress won’t happen overnight. While it may take time to fully let go, taking daily steps to move past these worries will help you manage your stress.

Keep this guide in mind as you take on each day and its new challenges. Learning how to live in the moment is all about not letting stress hold you back. As you learn to let go, you’ll see just how wonderful life can be.

The post Psychology Explains 10 Ways To Let Go of Worry appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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Jon Sumroy and mifold Are Making Life Easier & Safer For Parents Everywhere!


Jon Sumroy is the brilliant founder and CEO of mifold, the world’s top children’s grab-and-go booster seat. Jon has worked in a number of growing businesses and brands over the span of his life; He was the former senior executive producer at massive companies like Unilever and Johnson and Johnson. Today, his focus is on mifold, and has helped bring the product to hundreds of thousands around the world, while working with giant retailers like Target, Walmart and Amazon.

Who is Jon Sumroy?

Jon is a father of four and the creator of the mifold grab-and-go booster seats. He started his career in the pharmaceutical industry as a pharmaceutical chemist. He then followed that up by starting work as a marketeer, a senior executive and later went on to be the CEO of several multinational companies.

Where did the idea of mifold come from?

Jon, being a father of four, had a lot of issues when his kids were younger with traveling. It would always be difficult for them to get into someone else’s car because most people don’t have booster seats. He decided to design an easy to carry, foldable booster seat so his kids, and yours, could carry them around where ever they needed, making traveling anywhere with a child easy, simple and safe!

How Successful is Jon Sumroy?

Jon is a father of four, is happily married, is active in his community, and is in the best of his health. He measures success through the happiness he has experienced in his life, classifying himself therefore as a successful man.

Having such a supportive family has allowed him to travel the world and work on his career. This support has also allowed him to turn his dream of making mifold into a reality.

In terms of business success he believes he has been very fortunate too. He has a team of passionate people at mifold, and the company ran the most successful crowdfunding campaign for a children’s booster seat, and completed their goal in a matter of hours.

To date, mifold has sold a quarter of a million seats worldwide, and they have retailers associated with them across 50 countries. On top of that, Jon’s product mifold is recommended by 95% Child Passenger Safety Lead Instructors.

What makes mifold unique?

The mifold seats are not just the most comfortable seats out there, they are also the most compact, and the most portable seats available on the market. In our fast working world, with ride sharing and ride-hailing, the boosters need to go with the child, and not be left in the car.

Has Jon faced any tragedies in his life?

Jon’s past is full of many personal and professional hurdles that have been hard for him to overcome.

Jon has had to work with some horrible bosses, whose behavior pushed him to quit. Along with that, he lost all his money in the dot com bubble in 2002. During that time he had a mortgage, unpaid school fees, car leases, and healthcare bills. He and his wife took all three of their boys out of school and went on a road trip from New Jersey to California.

In May 2014, just 8 months after starting mifold, he got into a motorcycle accident. An elderly driver plowed into him and left him permanently disabled and in a lot of pain. His friends and his family nursed him back to health and the mifold investors waited patiently.

However, Jon believes in focusing on the positives. He looks back on these times and learns to be excited for the future and appreciate the success of mifold even more today.

What are Jon and mifold’s goals for the future?

2019 has already been a very exciting year for the company. Every year, sales grow a whopping 50% and now in addition to online retailers, mifold grab-and-go boosters are available in 1000 Walmart stores nationwide. Even after all the success they’ve had only 10% of people have heard about mifold and Jon is excited to see what the future holds for them.

They are releasing a new product soon called Hifold by mifold. Hifold is a highback booster chair for parents who need the “get-and-go” foldable experience for highback chairs.

Hifold will be able to fold into a convenient bag which is super easy to carry.

Jon and his team are constantly talking about children safety. In a fast-paced world like ours, where several people use Uber, Lfyt, and Grab, children should still be able to travel safely.

Does Jon have any Words of Wisdom to share?

Jon’s favorite quote is, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing”

How is mifold and Jon making the world a better place?

mifold and Jon are in the business of saving lives. Jon and his company know that they are helping keep kids safe with mifold and that the product has tested with flying colors on all safety and crash tests. mifold has a growing “Hall of Fame” on their website which includes stories from customers whose children have been saved by mifold in collisions.

All in all, Jon believes they are in the business of saving lives and nothing is more motivating. He goes on to quote the Talmud saying, “Whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world”.

The post Jon Sumroy and mifold Are Making Life Easier & Safer For Parents Everywhere! appeared first on Born Realist.

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4 Things Narcissists Do Often to Stay At The Center of Attention


At some point in your life, you have probably met a few narcissists. They demand the spotlight and somehow find a way to make everything only about them, no matter what. It’s a frustrating behavior to have to deal with.

But many narcissists aren’t so transparent about what they are doing. They use manipulation tactics in order to get you and everyone else on their side so that they can take center stage. Worse still, the smartest narcissists will make it look like they deserve to be revolved around 24/7, and you may just fall victim to their tactics.

How can you deal with a narcissist, and how can you protect yourself from them and their troubling ways? The answer lies in awareness. You need to be able to recognize toxic behaviors from those around you and identify narcissistic patterns so you can stay far away from them – or, at least, know not to give in to them.

For a narcissist, nothing is more important than ensuring all eyes are on them. You, however, can learn to take your eyes off of their manipulation.

4 Things Narcissists Do Often To Stay At The Center Of Attention

1. Playing The Victim

There are many narcissists out there who don’t quite have the ability to empathize with others due to their self-centered nature. But this doesn’t mean that they don’t possess a cognitive understanding of the fact that other people can have a strong sense of empathy. This allows them to take advantage of other people easily.

This is why a narcissist knows how to place themselves in a positive light in every situation, even when they are at fault: by playing the victim. But it isn’t just avoiding the trouble that causes them to play the victim. They want to play the victim all the time, no matter what, and even when it’s not relevant.

A narcissist wants everything to be about them. The second someone else has sympathy, they quickly try to turn the situation around by farming for pity. They portray themselves as martyrs through manipulation, generating a wave of sympathy that they simply do not deserve.

It’s a deceitful tactic, but it’s also a classic and sadly very common one that many people use, not just narcissists. The saddest part is that by taking the center of attention, a narcissist is directing that attention away from the person who really, truly needs it. It can damage lives and rob someone of the assistance they need.

But how can you deal with something like this when it happens?

After all, many experts believe that narcissists do not experience feelings of guilt, instead feeling shame. But that’s actually something you can take into account when you fight against a narcissist.

  • Don’t get angry when a narcissist plays the victim.
  • Focus on aspects like disappointment, community, and shame.
  • If you are in a position to do so, don’t react negatively; instead, imply that other people may think badly of them.
  • A narcissist doesn’t always think of the feelings of others, so you reminding them that this may happen can be a wake-up call – or at least a deterrent.

You can also turn this into something positive. Instead of using direct encouragement, ask questions or start conversations that hold suggestions of ways they can gain the attention they crave in a positive way. Remember to frame them as casual questions, not suggestions, as narcissists are more likely to follow through when they believe they are the ones who came up with a certain idea.

2. Twisting Situations Through Reverse Projection

This works somewhat similarly to playing the victim, but often with even worse results. A narcissist knows how to use manipulation to get what they want, uplifting themselves in a positive light while bringing others down.

While this seems like a mild annoyance at worst, keep in mind that this means a narcissist knows the easiest and quickest way to rise to the top is by stepping on everyone else, including you. And they’re very good at it because of how well they can shift a conversation to suit their whims.

A narcissist is capable of taking a situation and turning it on its head. They can perform an intricate routine where they, the wrongdoers, look innocent while you, the victim, look like the bad guy. And if you’re not a master manipulator yourself – which we hope you aren’t – you may have trouble getting out of that spot.

What to do about it

How can you deal with someone twisting everything to make themselves look good – or worse, make others look bad? Many narcissists enjoy seeing other people suffer from the pain they inflict through manipulation. So practice positive thinking and smile. Don’t let them see that they have annoyed you.

  • It’s kind of like playground teasing.
  • If you react negatively to it, bullies laugh and enjoy themselves and do it more.
  • But if you act nonchalant and unaffected, they are likely to lose interest in you.
  • So if you keep smiling, a narcissist will eventually get bored of trying to get to you.

It’s even better if you can maintain a positive sense of humor about it. Sure, ignoring a narcissist works, but you can also show that you call your bluff while laughing. If you’re good at tactful humor, you can lightheartedly call out the inappropriate nature of a narcissist’s actions without being mean. Pass it off as a joke, and certain types of narcissists may actually find this funny – or they’ll just know you are not to be messed with.

3. The Blame Game

Narcissists want to look good all the time. So the second they receive even the slightest criticism, all sense of positive thinking goes out the window. They crumble, lash out, and become highly defensive – and this often involves shifting blame around.

The strangest part is that a lot of times, a narcissist may not even be getting any blame in a situation. But if they even perceive that they may be on the receiving end of some flack, you can be sure they’ll find a way to make someone else take the fall. Due to how sensitive they are, this can happen a lot, even when they’re not the target of anything.

  • Even if a narcissist does something so horrible it’s impossible to justify, they’ll make sure someone else shares their blame.
  • They’ll say someone else did something that made them act that way.
  • They’ll blame other people for their problems.
  • They might simply switch the topic and talk about something sensitive or difficult, just to distract you from their wrongs.

Defending yourself in this situation can definitely feel like a lost cause. Often, your valid points will be ignored in favor of their manipulative words. They’ll point their fingers at everyone but themselves, and it’s exhausting to deal with.

In dealing with this situation, you need to understand why many narcissists do such things. They have low self-esteem that demands they try to make themselves feel better through any means, even by shifting blame to others.

Take note of context to figure out what could be causing this insecurity. With some narcissists with insecurity issues, just a little positive reassurance – not too much to inflate their egos and not too little to go unnoticed – can help them shed the shame that is causing them to lash out.

4. Interruption

One of the things narcissists do often to stay at the center of attention is controlling conversations so they are always the central focus. When you’re talking in a group with them, they will quickly interject and cut in when conversation shifts to not surround them.

You might attempt to bring the discussion back to the matter at hand, but a narcissist will soon derail that attempt again, often by causing you to go quiet by any means possible. If you don’t let them get to you, they may then go on to consider you a treat to their quest for the spotlight.

During conversations, narcissists also tend not to ask questions. They aren’t interested in emotional or mental investments in other people, so they don’t typically care to know what you think, how you feel, or what’s going on with you.

If a narcissist can’t force a conversation back to them, they may shoot out unwanted advice for things they’re not actually qualified for. They’ll make up stories about why they have the experience to give this advice and insist it is followed, even if they’re making it all up.

How do you manage this? Well, there’s a balance to be struck here, but the most important part is not allowing them to derail your train of thought, your conversations, and your life. Focus on your own goals. Don’t give in to a narcissist’s constant bid for attention.

Where’s the balance?

  • There’s nothing wrong with paying a little attention to a narcissist, the same way you would treat anyone else.
  • Treat them like you would another normal person.
  • Acknowledge feelings, then move on. Reassure, then press forward.
  • Don’t let yourself be pushed around, but give them the same acknowledgment you would afford anyone else.

Final Thoughts On Things Narcissists Do Often To Stay At The Center Of Attention

There’s no denying that narcissists are difficult to deal with, but it’s important to understand why they behave this way. Narcissistic personality disorder is a genuine cluster B personality disorder that affects about 1% of the population.

Do note that just because someone has a narcissistic personality disorder, this does not mean that they are inherently bad people. However, many people who have this disorder or are on its spectrum may display these negative traits we talked about, especially if they have not undergone therapy or treatment.

While it is a serious mental health condition often caused by trauma, this does not mean that negative behavior is excusable and poor treatment of others is justifiable. You deserve the knowledge to arm yourself against a toxic, harmful narcissist, and it is not your responsibility to help them find treatment.

If you find yourself having to deal with a narcissist, it is important that you understand and are aware of common behaviors that mean they are trying to take hold of the spotlight. This way, you can react accordingly, keep yourself safe from potential emotional harm, and distance yourself from them if necessary.

The post 4 Things Narcissists Do Often to Stay At The Center of Attention appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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Scientists Explain How Holding Hands Can Relieve Pain and Discomfort


Pain is a part of the human experience. It’s safe to say that there isn’t a single person in the world who will go through life without experiencing pain. Unfortunately, this unpleasant sensation doesn’t have a lot of cures, especially for those with prolonged negative stimuli.

But there may be a way to relieve pain and discomfort according to recent studies. If you’re in a romantic relationship, chances are good that your partner can be a great help to pain issues. In fact, in this article we’ll discuss the way scientists explain how holding hands can relieve pain and discomfort.

Scientists Explain How Holding Hands Can Relieve Pain And Discomfort

1. The Pain Problem

Chronic pain is a highly overlooked and underestimated condition. In America alone, approximately 100 million people suffer from this issue – and that’s just the adults. This chronic pain is debilitating and exhausting to deal with, and it can carry on hurting for weeks, months, and even years. It’s not something that positive thinking and ignoring the issue will fix.

Because of the unpredictable and widely ranging nature of chronic pain, many make the mistake of believing it is non-serious or easy to treat – just take painkillers, right? But this is far from the truth. In fact, the total cost to manage such pain on a yearly basis exceeds the cost of treating diabetes, heart diseases, and even cancer!

But that’s not all. Those who suffer from chronic pain conditions are likely to be less productive and contribute less to the workforce due to their invisible disabilities. This costs the American economy hundreds of billions of dollars. Unfortunately, it’s not just the economy – and the wallets of patients – that suffers from the worldwide pain problem.

Chronic pain can lead to further issues, especially mental health disorders.

Depression, the main mental health culprit, often leads to additional chronic pain. Worst of all, painkillers and antidepressants play huge roles in the opioid addiction epidemic.

This is why research has been frequently and repeatedly conducted to find better ways to manage and treat pain. But most of the studies conducted tend to focus on specific individuals, usually single persons who are kept isolated over the course of the study. Of course, this is useful as researchers can better simplify their data and analyses regarding pain and pain relief.

However, this causes less-than-accurate views as those who experience chronic pain are rarely isolated in real life. Most of them have jobs, take part in social interactions, and participate in real-world activities. Social interactions, especially, may have a higher effect on pain than researchers can determine from their limited reach inside a laboratory. Up until recently, no studies compiled information on pain in relation to social communication.

2. New Research Techniques

As science and technology continue to advance, we are able to enjoy new scientific research techniques that have a more accurate scope. Now, scientists are able to track and monitor multiple individuals at once and collect data on their physiological activities at the same time.

Although this doesn’t sound like a lot of help, it significantly improves research conditions. It allows scientists to study their participants while they engage in social interactions and situations, ranging from mild to physically extreme. Slowly but surely, this has revealed something that serves as the foundation for scientists explaining how holding hands can relieve pain and discomfort.

So what, exactly, is this foundation? Well, numerous studies have shown that people who interact with each other even on a vaguely intimate level experience something called interpersonal synchrony. This means these people have parts of their bodies that sync up. It sounds complex, but it is actually fairly simple. Here are some studies that had these findings.

a) Group members

Choir singers who performed with each other would experience synced heartbeats when singing.

b) Fellow activity participants

A group of people performing a cultural ritual, known simply as a fire-walking ritual, were found to have heartbeats that synced up.

c) Couples

Partners who looked at each other with a prolonged gaze would experience matching heartbeats.

d) Participating in similar events

Platonically involved individuals who watched emotional movies with one another would have synced heartbeats.

These findings raised new questions. Could they be applied to pain relief? Could this synchrony allow for people, especially couples or others with intimate connections, to help each other with certain medical conditions?

All signs pointed to yes. But how could it be done? As it turns out, the answers to these questions lay in something very simple and very human: the sense of touch.

3. Study Details

As we’ve discussed, chronic pain is a serious condition and an expensive and potentially detrimental one to treat. But as it turns out, through touch, chronic pain can reduce greatly, according to this study.

Pavel Goldstein, Irit Weissman Fogel, Guillaume Dumas, and Simone Shamay-Tsoory conducted the study. Three of these researchers hail from the University of Haifa in Israel, and one (Dumas) hails from Institut Pasteur International Network. They published their findings in February of 2018 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The article shows that touch has a positive effect on chronic pain.

The study was conducted through the recruitment of 23 couples in heterosexual romantic relationships. These couples all ranged between ages 23 and 32 and were instructed to go through a series of pain stimuli tests. These tests were meant to mimic the scene that one may experience in a delivery room when a woman is undergoing labor.

The women within these relationships were set up to receive certain levels of pain through four different conditions and stages. This pain was a mild variety and heat based, administered to the forearm over the course of two minutes. Their pain levels were recorded via EEG. Here are the different tests they went through.

a) Alone

Women would face the examination alone, without their partners, and receive pain stimuli.

b) Without touch

Participants would be subject to this pain testing, but this time with their partners in the room, though they did so without physically touching their partners.

c) With touch

While holding hands with their partners, who were dubbed pain observers, study participants would receive pain stimuli again.

d) With a stranger

Finally, women would hold hands with a complete stranger they had never met before and receive the same level of pain stimuli.

The same study looked not only at pain reception, however; it also studied synchrony. Researchers accomplished this through the study of 22 completely different couples, also in heterosexual romantic relationships. Both partners were hooked up to devices that recorded their respiration as well as their heart rates.

Once again, women received the pain stimulus. There were, as prior, four study conditions to cycle through, and they are listed here:

a) With touch

Women held hands with their partners and received pain stimuli.

b) No pain

Women held hands with their partners but did not receive any form of painful stimulus.

c) No touch

Women received pain stimuli but did not touch their partners, though those partners remained in the same room.

d) Neither

Rates were recorded when neither partner touched the other or received any pain, though they remained in the same room.

But the researchers still were not done. They studied specific synchrony between the brains of these partners to determine if there was a relationship between touch, empathy, and the resulting analgesic effect. This was crucial for the sake of possible implications for those with severe pain-related conditions, or those experiencing pain.

4. Study Findings

The first section of findings deal with direct pain relief and pain perception changes in women based on touch. Findings showed that, when holding hands with their partner, women experienced significantly lower levels of pain.

Under these test conditions, the pain was felt the least. It is believed that this is due to a phenomenon called hyperscanning, whereby brains are coupled through the act of physical touch, causing a soothing, positive effect.

Synchrony and How It Can Relieve Pain

Now, let’s talk about findings from the respiration portion of the study, which studied the synchrony between partners during different test conditions. When not receiving any pain, partners achieved higher levels of synchrony when they touched. This synchrony existed in both respiration and heart rates.

Interestingly, for women who received pain stimuli in the same room as their partners but lacked physical touch, synchrony completely vanished. This surprising finding indicates the necessity of touch in order for synchrony to work during difficult times.

Essentially, women who received pain stimuli but did not touch their partners needed to use their brains to focus on handling and dealing with the stimuli. This caused them to disconnect from their partners through this coping strategy.

Finally, let’s talk about empathy. When receiving both their partner’s touch and pain stimuli, some women felt less pain than others. In these situations, this was accompanied by higher levels of physiological syncing, and in all these situations, their partners displayed more empathy towards them. This suggests that empathy improves synchrony, which in turn improves pain relief.

All-in-all, these study findings show that skin-to-skin touch and interpersonal interaction is highly beneficial to a number of things. Not only does it relieve pain, but it can be said that stress, mood, trust, and positive thinking are all improved by skin-to-skin contact.

5. What Do These Results Mean?

Simply put, the results of these studies emphasize the importance of skin-to-skin contact and social interactions for a variety of reasons. Mainly, it opens up the possibility of pain relief in a much more affordable – if not entirely free – way for long-term chronic pain sufferers.

Touch also seems to have links to empathy. More empathetic partners may improve synchrony between themselves; perhaps increased levels of physical touch can also boost empathy in romantic relationships.

But how, exactly, does touch from a romantic partner bring positive results to pain? This remains to be seen. Even researchers on a variety of studies of this kind have indicated that there is much more that must be discovered before we can truly understand the link between touch – specifically, touch from a romantic partner – and pain and synchrony.

Final Thoughts On How Holding Hands Can Relieve Pain And Discomfort

Research regarding touch, synchrony, and pain is still in its early stages, so not much is known about these fascinating findings. For now, though, if you or your partner experience chronic pain or have pain issues, perhaps putting these study findings into practice can be of use to you. Try it out for yourself and see if you can reap some benefits!

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51 Best Romantic Quotes For Anyone In Love


Falling in love is such an exciting time in your life, and reading quotes that may relate to how you are feeling helps those feelings become solidified. Whether you are just wanting to read some romantic quotes or if you are looking to send some love quotes to your partner, it shouldn’t be hard to find a bunch that you can relate to.

Studies have shown that sending romantic quotes to your partner can bring more love and connection to a relationship. Rather than trying to come up with a love quote of your own, your partner will appreciate a well-written and relatable quote written by someone else, as long as you are implying that’s how you feel about them.

Romantic Quotes For Those In Love

Love Quotes For Those In a New Relationship

New relationships are exciting, intriguing, and can leave you with so many feelings that are hard to explain. Quotes are the perfect way to get those feelings across or to even help yourself figure out what you are feeling.

1. “It was instinctive, the way I fell for you. Like an effortless intake of breath.” – Josh Walker

2. “Because I could watch you for a single minute and find a thousand things that I love about you.” – Author unknown

3. “I would do all, whatever, and any things as long as doing them meant doing them with you.” – Tyler Knott Gregson

4. “The first time you touched me, I knew I was born to be yours.” — Author unknown

5. “For the two of us, home isn’t a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.”
– Stephanie Perkins

6. “Love is not about how many days, weeks or months you’ve been together, it’s all about how much you love each other every day.” – Author unknown

7. “I wish I could turn back the clock. I’d find you sooner and love you longer.” — Author unknown

8. “She knew she loved him when ‘home’ went from being a place to being a person.” — E. Leventhal

9. “You. Your smile. Your voice. Your eyes. Your personality. You.” – Tamara Stamenkovic

Romantic Quotes For Those Who Are Married Or In a Long-Term Relationship

It can be hard to keep the romance alive when you have been in a relationship with the same person for a while. It can be easy to get so caught up in the routine of daily life that you forget to think about how your partner makes you feel.

10. “Sometimes it’s your voice, other times it’s your face, every time it’s your touch, but you always fix me.” – Leo Christopher

11. “He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Brontë

12. “True love stories never have endings.” – Richard Bach

13. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

14. “I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.” – Roy Croft

15. “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.” — Nicholas Sparks

16. “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” — Victor Hugo

17. “I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.” — Angelita Lim

18. “Maybe the only vow we ever need to offer the one we love is this: I will never, not for a sliver of a second, make you feel alone.” — Tyler Knott Gregson

19. “I love you past the moon and miss you beyond the stars.” — J.M. Storm

20. “I love that you are my person and I am yours, that whatever door we come to, we will open it together.” — A.R. Asher

21. “Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” – Ann Landers

Romantic Quotes For Those in Rocky Relationships

Most relationships experience hard times. It is completely normal, and coming through those hard times can make the relationship even stronger. There are love quotes that can be applied directly to these situations.

22. “I’m not perfect. I’ll annoy you, piss you off, say stupid things, then take it all back. But put that all aside and you’ll never find a person who cares or loves you more than me.” — Author unknown

23. “True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.” – Ricardo Montalban

24. “There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

25. “Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding.” – Diane Arbus

26. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” – Carroll Bryant

27. “I will never be perfect for you, but I will always imperfectly try to be.” – Atticus

28. “Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” – Emily Kimbrough

29. “You’re not looking for perfection in your partner. Perfection is all about the ego. With soulmate love, you know that true love is what happens when disappointment sets in – and you’re willing to deal maturely with these disappointments.” – Karen Salmansohn

30. “When love is not madness it is not love.” – Pedro Calderón de la Barca

31. “When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us, I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most.” — Author unknown

Love Quotes For Those Who Can’t Be Together

There may be instances in your life where you love someone that you can’t be with. This causes love to be more painful than expected, and it can lead to feelings you’ve never experienced before. It isn’t uncommon, and there are romantic quotes that attempt to describe the feelings involved.

32. “The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.” — Gilbert K. Chesterton

33. “Hands that never touch. Lips that never meet. The Almost Lovers, never to be.” – Rae Hachton

34. “If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.” – Oscar Wilde

35. “You’ll always be my favorite ‘what if’.” – The Great Gatsby

36. “I keep myself busy with things to do, but every time I pause I still think of you.” – Cecelia Ahern

Quotes to Send to An Ex

37. “Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” – H. L. Mencken

38. “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” – Maya Angelou

39. “Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.” – Author unknown

40. “Souls tend to go back to who feels like home.” – N.R. Heart

41. “My heart is and always will be yours.” – Jane Austen

42. “Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime.” — Bette Davis

43. “Better to have lost and loved than never to have loved at all.” — Ernest Hemingway

44. “Sometimes there is more magic in “I miss you” than in “I love you.” – Author unknown

45. “I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I’d do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets.” – Cynthia Hand

Quotes to a Friend Who Doesn’t Know You Love Them

Forming a deep friendship with someone is risky because you are also risking falling in love with them. When romantic love gets in the way of a friendship, everything can be ruined. This may stop you from voicing your feelings to your friend, but sometimes it is worth the risk.

46. “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

47. “I looked at him as a friend until I realized I loved him.” — Author unknown

48. “I love you and that’s the beginning and end of everything.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

49. “Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.” — Lao Tzu

50. “To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed.” – Valerie Lombardo

51. “You are my best friend, my human diary and my other half. You mean the world to me and I love you.” — Author unknown

Final Thoughts On Romantic Quotes For Anyone In Love

Romantic quotes can help you understand your feelings, or they can help you tell your partner how you really feel about them. Love occurs no matter how long you’ve known someone, and no matter the situation. Whether you want to enjoy these yourself or pass them on, these love quotes are highly relatable for anyone in love.

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Canada Reveals Bill That Bans Keeping Whales and Dolphins Captive


Upon reading the details of bill S-203, passed by the Canadian parliament, this writer was filled with thankfulness and appreciation. You see, this bill, passed February 1, 2019 (after three years of intense infighting), outlaws the capture and captivity of dolphins and whales. Here’s an excerpt from the law, courtesy of the Parliament of Canada:

  • ‘The criminal code is amended (as follows):
  • ‘445.2 (1) In this section, cetacean includes any member of the cetacean order, including a whale, dolphin or porpoise.
  • (2) Subject to subsections (3) and (3.1), everyone commits an offence who
  • (a) owns, has the custody of or controls a cetacean that is kept in captivity;
  • (b) breeds or impregnates a cetacean; or
  • (c) possesses or seeks to obtain reproductive materials of cetaceans, including sperm or an embryo.’

Admittedly, there was a bit of “bitter-sweetness” as well. Why? Well, if you’re from the United States, the proposition that our government would ever come together to do something so astounding, so moving – and for another species, at that – is dubious at best. The Canadian parliament’s display of solidarity and compassion for species other than our own is as inspiring as it is moving. (The last U.S. federal law passed regulating the treatment of aquatic animals was in 1979.)

The sweetness:

  • Nothing less than the freedom of the most intelligent and social species of non-human animal in existence.
  • Knowing that no dolphin or whale will ever again be captured and held captive in the territory of Canada.

Canadian animal rights activists and those who believe in the ethical treatment of animals can rest knowing that dolphins and whales are free and protected in their own habitat. At least in the waters surrounding their own country.

To understand the significance of Canada’s legislative achievement, one must understand the special nature of these creatures and the harm that capture and captivity inflicts. We’ll begin by discussing the wonders of dolphins and whales.

The Majestic Dolphin: A Background

“Dolphins are highly social animals, often living in pods of up to a dozen … [and] are often regarded as one of the Earth’s most intelligent animals …” – Wikipedia

There are no fewer than 44 distinct species of dolphin. Thirty-eight of these species are oceanic (living in the oceans), and six are river dolphins. In 2011, we discovered a new species of dolphin – the Burrunan Dolphin (Tursiops australis).

All subspecies of dolphin have a similar appearance: a streamlined body and two limbs that serve as flippers. All dolphin species have conical (cone-shaped) teeth, used to entrap often elusive prey. The exceptionally contoured body of dolphins permits some species to swim nearly 48 kilometers per hour (30 mph).

The Dolphin/Human Relationship

Dolphins have a long history in human culture, going back as far as Ancient Greece. In Greek literature, dolphins are referred to fondly – often as helpers of humans and as a good omen for fisherman. They feature prominently in stories of mythology and lore. Some countries feature the dolphin on their coat of arms (the most significant symbol aside from the national flag). The nation of Anguilla’s coat of arms consists of three dolphins forming a 360-degree circle above what appears to be a shallow pool of water.

Casual observation, as well as studies, have proven the capabilities of dolphins to be very familiar with their human counterparts. An excellent (and sweet!) example: dolphins appear to approach pregnant women more slowly and deliberately than others. This behavior may stem from the animal’s echolocation abilities, which allows the dolphin to detect heartbeats. Videos of humans swimming and interacting bottlenose dolphins in the wild are not uncommon. (Note: Under the Federal Marine Mammal Protection Act, swimming with wild dolphins is considered harassment and thus illegal.)

Because of the highly social nature of dolphins, they are able to bond and develop relationships with humans. Dolphins are able to communicate with humans using both verbal and nonverbal gestures effectively.

Besides forming close bonds with humans, dolphins have been known to save human life. Stories abound of dolphin pods circling sharks to allow victims and potential victims time to swim to safety. In one touching story, a New Zealander describes a pod of four dolphins encircling a great white shark for over 40 minutes until the predator finally lost interest and swam away in defeat.

The Gracious Whale: A Background

“Whales are social, air breathing mammals, they feed their babies with their own milk, and they take extraordinarily good care of their young and teach them life skills.” – Whale and Dolphin Conservation

Forty-one confirmed species of whale exist. Whales are classed into two groups depending on whether they have individual teeth or baleen (sheaths of large bone that form the animal’s jaw). While dolphins and whales belong to the same family (cetaceans), clear differences exist.

One of the noticeable characteristics of most whales is their sheer size. The largest animal in the world, the blue whale, weighs an extraordinary 140,000 kilograms (308,647 pounds!). For comparison: the killer Orca whales, like those at SeaWorld, average “just” 3,600 to 5,400 kg (7,936 to 11,905 pounds.)

Like dolphins, whales swim exceptionally fast. The second-largest whale, the sperm whale, can reach speeds up to 45 kilometers per hour (28 mph).

The Whale/Human Relationship

Despite the “scary” image that the media likes to conjure up for entertainment purposes, there are no known instances of an orca whale killing a human being in the wild. Actually, whales and humans get along swimmingly (pun definitely intended).

Like humans, whales are extremely social creatures. Whales have been observed caressing each other in ways similar to humans. But, there is still a complex relationship between the two species.

First, humans are abysmal caretakers of the environment. Global warming brought about by industrial activity has endangered the oceans and, therefore, the whale habitat. Moreover, sea vessels (as large as cruise ships and as small as fishing boats) cause the death of many whales. Concerning the latter, whales often get caught in fishing nets, which can injure or even kill the animal. Indeed, human activity, particularly commercial activity, continues to endanger the delicate ecosystems that support whale (and other aquatic animal) life.

Dolphin and Whale Captivity? Science (and Common Sense) Says “No!”

“… these environments … impose tremendous stress on the part of captive animals, and place burdens on populations from which they are often captured.” – Lori Marino and Toni Frohoff

To understand the probable harm that captivity inflicts on dolphins, whales, and porpoises, one must consider the natural, instinctual behavior of these creatures.

First, it’s not uncommon for dolphins and whales to travel hundreds of miles a day. Now, contrast this instinct with the conditions imposed on these animals in captivity. Per the Animal Welfare Act (AWA) of 1979, a bottlenose dolphin can be kept in the space of no larger than 24 by 24 feet – at a depth of just 6 feet. One needn’t be a statistician to conclude that such conditions don’t suffice for such a mobile animal. And one needn’t be a marine biologist to conclude that such requirements are woefully inadequate to a creature programmed to roam the vast oceans.

The Impact of Captivity

“It is therefore reasonable to postulate that the conditions of capture and confinement might be as stressful and harmful to dolphins as they would be to humans.” – Nick Carter

Intelligence and emotionality come at a cost. We, humans, are perfect examples of this phenomenon. Our brains, while highly evolved and capable of complex problem-solving, are highly sensitive to stress. No life situations are as stressful as being exposed to trauma, and few events are more traumatic than separation from family. Evidence suggests that animals of high intelligence – in this case, dolphins – are no different in this regard.

According to a study published in The Human Society Institute for Science and Policy, the innate complexity of dolphins makes them highly susceptive to stress-related illness, injury, and death. Psychological “shock” – a “condition of collapse” from exposure to physical or psychological trauma – is thought to occur during capture, “in addition to the stress during and after landing, transport, and eventual confinement.”

“Capture shock” evidently contributes to the shortened lifespan evident among all dolphin species in captivity. Moreover, the agitation and stress of captivity may also have contributed to numerous tragedies involving dolphins and humans.

For example, consider the 2011 SeaWorld incident. While no known dolphin-initiated human death has occurred in the wild, it has occurred in captivity – numerous times. The Orca (killer whale) Tilikum, featured in the documentary Blackfish, caused the death of three trainers before dying at the age of 36. (The average lifespan of wild Orcas is 50 to 80 years.)

Final Thoughts

“One day the absurdity of the almost universal human belief in the slavery of other animals will be palpable. We shall have then discovered our souls and become worthier of sharing this planet with them.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

The hard truth is that human beings commit an atrocious act when capturing and enclosing a wild animal. Atrocities that we can only attribute to typical human ignorance and greed – in other words, human ego.

For these reasons and more, what Canadian lawmakers displayed by passing S-203 was nothing short of heroic. It’s also woefully inadequate when viewed from a macro perspective. But it’s a wonderful, courageous first step.

A sincere and appreciative, “Thank You!” to all Canadians who made this happen. Let’s celebrate. Then let us get back to work.

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Science Explains 4 Ways to Eliminate Negative Thinking


Our thoughts influence everything in our life. How we relate to ourselves, others, and events is entirely dependent upon thought.

Thoughts arise from deep in the subconscious, and what arises in the subconscious is a product of experience. Therefore, positive and negative thinking – and the frequency with which these thoughts surface – are the products of unfolding experiences, particularly early on in life.

In this article, we will examine the scientific basis of negative thinking patterns. Such knowledge will help you come to understand the foundation of your habits of thought. The focus of our discussion gives you four science-backed ways to eliminate negative thinking.

The Dominative Subconscious

“According to cognitive neuroscientists, we are conscious of only about 5 percent of our cognitive activity, so most of our decisions, actions, emotions, and behavior depends on the 95 percent of brain activity that goes beyond our conscious awareness.” – Marianne Szegedy-Maszak (source)

As you may already be aware, the mind is split into two categories: conscious and subconscious. The conscious mind is the awareness you have in the present moment; it includes, for example, your current emotions, feelings, physical sensations, and thoughts. The subconscious mind is the vast amount of information that lies below the threshold of the present moment. It includes beliefs, fears, memories, and subjective maps of reality.

Daniel Kahneman, the first psychologist to win the Nobel Prize in Economics, labels the subconscious and conscious mind “System 1” and “System 2,” respectively. In his book Thinking Fast and Slow, Kahneman defines the two systems as follows:

“When we think of ourselves, we identify with System 2, the conscious, reasoning self that has beliefs, makes choices, and decides what to think about and what to do. Although System 2 believes itself to be where the action is, the automatic System 1 is the hero of the book.”

In other words, says Kahneman, our life is ruled by the subconscious. Of course, these neurological underpinnings assert tremendous influence on our thought patterns.

The Origin of Negative Thinking

“The mind can be a great resource. It allows you to read these words, to organize information, to set goals. It can be a bully, though, when we get into the thought patterns that are negative or outmoded for us.” – Marilyn Mitchell, M.D. (source)

Absorbing Experiences as Children

From the age of 2 to 7 years, the brain is essentially in a state of programming – complete absorption. Everything that we experience through our five senses is stored in the subconscious from this age range. This susceptible state is why early childhood experiences are so powerful – for better or for worse.

Consider someone close to you – a parent, teacher, sibling – reinforcing the idea that you were somehow lacking. This message of lack may base off of performance – such as grades in school or performance in sports. A message of lack may also originate due to what others might deem an inferior personality. In the case of substandard parenting, it may even have no basis at all (e.g. in child abuse cases.) In this regard, parents and teachers have a disproportionately strong effect on a child’s self-image due to their perceived status.

Continuously negative feedback at such an early stage in life is interpreted by the young mind as truth. Depending on the message the child receives, this unconscious feedback can be helpful, neutral, or – in the case of excessive negative feedback – detrimental.

Brain Shaping as Adults

Childhood is not the only life phase that exerts influence on thought patterns, however. One’s experience throughout adolescence and adulthood shapes the brain – and therefore one’s interpretation of reality – as well. To illustrate this point, let’s consider adult bullying.

While the typical case of adult bullying transpires differently than those experiences during childhood, the adverse consequences to a person’s mental health can be just as significant. Susanna Newsonen, a psychologist who specializes in positive psychology, writes about her experience with bullying:

“Initially, I didn’t even notice it. There were some sarcastic comments and some snide observations about my personality … They launched another attack … They spoke ill of me (and) tried to exclude me from groups.”

Newsonen goes on to describe her bout with anxiety and fearing retaliation from the perpetrators – at one time fearing for her mental health and even physical safety.

The lesson: experiences continue to shape our mind and brain, and therefore our thought patterns, throughout life.

Eliminating Negative Thinking

“[The] subconscious is like a storage room of all of your memories from the experiences you’ve had … it’s not until we delve deeper into our subconscious to find out what beliefs are store there that we can begin to weed out what is negative (destructive) and keep what is positive (constructive).” – Ora Nadrich (source)

It is vitally important to understand this fact about the subconscious: it doesn’t differentiate between what’s real and what’s fake or fabricated. An anorexic patient is an example of this phenomenon. When someone who is anorexic stands in front of the mirror, they believe that they are fat despite often being dangerously underweight. How does this happen? Through continuous reinforcement of subconscious negative thought patterns.

Similar mental processes occur in people with other mental health disorders. A belief, often false, is perceived as true. The subconscious mind interprets the thought as reality and stores it like any other thought, which then manifests as emotions, and then behaviors. Many individuals afflicted with mental health disorders seek psychotherapy to “reach” thought patterns out of the range of ordinary consciousness.

To begin eliminating negative thoughts and beliefs, we must work towards preventing additional negative thoughts from seeping into our subconscious. An excellent method of preventing the accumulation of falsities within the subconscious? The practice of mindfulness.

As for stored thoughts, here are four other scientific means of eliminating negative thinking:

  1. The “Says Who?” Method

Human beings begin with a “clean slate” at birth. We don’t possess beliefs and opinions about ourselves until exposure to other’s interpretations of our identity. Therefore, it stands to reason that any and all negative opinions that we hold of ourselves originate due to someone else’s input. It may also come from a combination of people – toxic parenting, for example. Depending on our temperament, which experts believe we are born with, we may also mislabel or misunderstand input. This too can lead to negative thinking and inferior thought patterns.

The “Says Who?” method of eliminating negative thoughts encompasses first witnessing the thought, followed by the question “Who says?” Examples: “Who says I’m unattractive?” or, “Who says I am a loser?” Challenging thought patterns in this way may help the person (a) identify the source of the input, and (b) eliminate the thought pattern through simple awareness.

  1. “Name it to tame it.”

The “Name it to tame it” method of eliminating negative thinking was introduced by Dr. Daniel Siegel, an internationally recognized expert and child psychiatrist. The gist of Siegel’s method is that when a thought is properly labeled, the left hemisphere of the brain communicates with the right hemisphere, the brain area that registers and reinforces thoughts and emotions.

Naming your inner experience is a powerful means of dialing down the rambunctious, irritating thought patterns that we encounter so often. If you’re able to mindfully step back and label your emotions and thoughts (e.g. “There’s irritation” or, “That’s frustration”), you’ll find that these experiences become much less frequent. Furthermore, you are able to approach future life situations with more resilience, knowing that you can “name and tame” any negative thought.

  1. Mindfulness meditation for Negative Thinking

John Yates, Ph.D., is a respected neuroscientist and former University professor who is also a meditation master. Known by his Buddhist name Culadasa, Yates was ordained as an Upasaka (dedicated lay-practitioner) over 40 years ago. Culadasa’s life’s work has centered around the study of neuroscience in relation to mindfulness meditation.

In his book Mind Illuminated: A Complete Meditation Guide, Culadasa walks the reader through the 10 stages of meditation as taught in the Tibetan tradition. By stabilizing the mind through regular mindfulness meditation practice – typically by focusing on the breath – the meditator eventually (around stage 4) realizes “emotional purification … equivalent to years of therapy.” Culadasa explains that these therapeutic effects are the result of observing and accepting the emotions, thoughts, and images that are driven by the subconscious. Perhaps most importantly, purification occurs rather innocently in most cases.

  1. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is a type of talk therapy wherein the patient works with a therapist to “identify negative or false thoughts and replace those thoughts with healthier, more realistic ones.”

The first significant event that happens in CBT is awareness of negative thought patterns. The psychologist, counselor, or social worker then works with the patient to introduce and implement positive affirmations and thoughts. Per WebMD, treatment usually lasts for 10 to 20 sessions. Finally, the therapist instructs the patient on how to practice CBT individually.

CBT is perhaps the most efficient method of psychotherapy available. A meta-analyses of over 100 analytic studies finds that CBT serves as an optimal treatment method for mental health problems such as anxiety disorders, bulimia, anger-management issues, and excess stress.

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15 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Self-Destructive


Self-destructive behaviors consist of any activities that can cause harm to an individual. Such behaviors often stem from some type of abuse during childhood.

While not everyone who experiences abuse early in life will go on to display self-destructive behaviors, of course, genetics plus childhood abuse increases the chances of developing these behaviors. Self-destructive behaviors have been associated with personality disorders as well as other mental disorders such as schizophrenia.

Some of these behaviors form as habits while others become impulse reactions. These self-destructive tendencies form as a coping mechanism for stress or other negative emotions. Someone who displays this behavior may not even realize the harm in engaging in these actions. Because some of these behaviors can be life-threatening, it’s important to look out for the people in our lives and make sure they haven’t slipped into a dark place.

“Sometimes you hit a point where you either change or self destruct.” Sam Stevens

Here are 15 behaviors that reveal someone is self-destructive:

  1. Alcohol or drug abuse

Someone who engages in destructive behaviors might suffer from a drug or alcohol addiction. Oftentimes, people who use substances as coping mechanisms had a troubled past and use drugs and alcohol to numb their feelings. They seek short-term relief for their pain, and drugs and alcohol provide the perfect outlet – in their minds – to achieve their goal. However, the uncomfortable emotions and negative feelings always come back, making this a detrimental habit in the long run.

  1. Binge eating or anorexia

Another way that people with destructive patterns release pain is through either over- or undereating. With binge eating, they find relief in foods, so they eat until they can no longer feel negative emotions. Binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder in the U.S., and females suffer from it more than males. It seems to run in families, and causes include interpersonal stressors, inability to cope with emotions, boredom, poor body image, and eating in a caloric deficit.

Starving oneself, on the opposite end of the spectrum, often occurs due to low self-esteem. In its most severe form, anorexia can lead to hospitalization and even death. People who suffer from this eating disorder have an obsession with body image and fear gaining weight. They might exercise excessively or restrict calories significantly in order to keep their body weight low. They may also complain about being fat when they’re actually of normal weight.

In either case, eating disorders are a sign of underlying emotional problems and can totally disrupt one’s life. People suffering from eating disorders should seek professional help as soon as possible to prevent a relapse in the future.

  1. Video game addiction

Now called “gaming disorder,” playing video games can become an obsession for a small part of the population. This disorder is characterized by an inability to control oneself during gaming, continuing playing games even when it causes negative consequences, and giving priority to gaming over other important tasks such as a job or school. If someone plays games excessively and doesn’t know how to stop, they might suffer from this disorder.

  1. Self-harm

Cutting or burning oneself is an extremely unhealthy way of coping with emotional pain. Most of the time, self-harm is not a suicide attempt, but it can lead to suicide either accidentally or deliberately. If you or someone you know is hurting themselves, please seek help immediately. Self-injury is a sign of much deeper issues that need to be addressed.

  1. Negative thoughts

Of course, everyone deals with negative thinking, but when it becomes intrusive and all-encompassing, it’s a cause for concern. People who have frequent negative thoughts usually suffer from a lack of control over emotions, which can lead to other problems in life. This destructive behavior can be overcome, however, through mindfulness meditation, yoga, or other relaxing activities that require one’s full attention.

  1. Feeling sorry for oneself

Pitying oneself might feel good in the moment, but it usually leads to stagnation and making excuses in the long run. This self-destructive behavior enables the person to wallow in their sorrows rather than take action to overcome a problem. While everyone deals with self-pity from time to time, people who frequently use this as an excuse to remain complacent may have deeper issues.

  1. Isolation

Separating oneself from others may be a sign of mental disorders such as social anxiety, depression, or PTSD, to name a few. Everyone needs alone time, but when someone isolates themselves almost completely, it might signal a bigger problem.

  1. Burying emotions

Hiding your emotions might feel like a healthy way of dealing with them, but the exact opposite is true. Society encourages us to put on a mask and pretend, but many people are hurting deeply inside because of this. Refusing to acknowledge emotions to appear strong or to appease others will only backfire and lead to a breakdown later.

  1. People-pleasing

People might think there’s no harm in trying to please others, but some people take this to the extreme. Allowing others to walk all over you just to keep them happy only results in your own misery. Plus, they won’t respect you and will take advantage of your self-sacrificing behavior. This self-destructive behavior is often overlooked because it seems relatively harmless; in the end, however, it causes pain for both parties involved.

  1. Too much pride

Being proud of oneself isn’t a problem; it only becomes harmful when taken to the extreme. For example, if someone refuses help just because they have too much pride in themselves, it’s considered a self-destructive trait. Everyone needs help at some point; no one can do everything singlehandedly.

  1. Impulsive behaviors

Reckless spending, drug abuse, hypersexuality, stealing, and other impulse behaviors are classic signs of self-destruction. A person who suffers from this might have a personality disorder or bipolar disorder, which makes it difficult for the sufferer to control their emotions. This, coupled with an inability to assess consequences, makes a person prone to impulsive behaviors.

  1. Self-neglect

This might include avoiding exercising, eating junk foods, not prioritizing sleep, drinking too much alcohol, or other destructive behaviors. If a person doesn’t seem interested in taking care of themselves, they might be sabotaging themselves without even knowing it.

  1. Avoiding responsibility

Not prioritizing work, school, or other responsibilities is a sign of destruction. Basically, this means the individual can’t or won’t take care of their needs and would rather ignore life’s demands. While appealing at times, this decision will only lead to detrimental outcomes, such as losing a job or getting kicked out of school.

  1. Working too much

Becoming a workaholic often means you’re using work as a means of burying something else going on in your life. People have many types of escapes available to them, and some of them choose work as a way to forget their problems. However, drowning yourself in work may lead to burnout and other health problems.

  1. Being too sensitive

While being overly sensitive is often a genetic trait and can’t be helped, some people who feel things more deeply use this as a way to manipulate people. For example, if someone feels as though they have to walk on eggshells around a person, this is a self-destructive behavior. The overly sensitive person might not mean to make them feel this way, but they still use their emotions to control the situation or person.

Oversensitivity is associated with disorders such as anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder. Remember that sensitivity is not always a bad thing; it only becomes destructive when it severely affects relationships or impairs a person’s functioning in daily life.

Final thoughts

Self-destructive behaviors can wreak havoc on a person’s life. They can also make interpersonal relationships, jobs, and other aspects of life very difficult to maintain. If you or someone you know displays any of the above behaviors, make sure you get help or talk to a loved one you trust. Destructive behaviors often result from stress and negative emotions in life, but there are healthy coping mechanisms for emotional pain.

Try the following the next time you feel stressed:

  • Getting your blood pumping and body moving releases feel-good chemicals that will help you overcome anything negative going on in your life.
  • Eat well. Indulging in comfort foods provides temporary relief, but long-term wellness comes from feeding your body nutrients from whole, fresh foods.
  • Get enough sleep. Inadequate sleep can really affect mental health, so make sure you go to bed at a decent hour each night and create a relaxing sleeping environment.
  • Practice self-care. If you want to maintain your well-being, you need to put in the work. Meditate, do yoga, take hot baths, drink green tea, laugh, destress, and try not to take life so seriously. Don’t forget to breathe!

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How To Help Staff When An Employee Passes Away

Losing those we care about is never easy, but it can be especially challenging when a work colleague passes away. This situation may mix work and emotions in a way that some people are uncomfortable with. Others may feel confused or unsure of how to react.

How a company responds to an employee’s death is important. Poor handling of the situation could further impact staff morale and productivity, and may even affect loyalty to the company in the long term.

Communication is key

Depending on the circumstances, the company may need to inform staff when an employee dies. This might especially be the case if the death occurred in the workplace or while he or she was working. However, an announcement may also be appropriate if a staff member passes away suddenly, was a long-term employee or particularly beloved.

Regardless of why an announce is made, it should be done with care and sensitivity. Close friends, the employee’s manager or anyone who reported to them may need to be informed privately first. This will give them time to process their feelings before the wider announcement is made.

Provide staff with support

Having the support of their employer can go a long way towards helping staff handle grief in a healthy way. Members of the HR team and managers should be available to answer any questions or concerns, whether these are business related or more personal.

There might also be a need to bring in outside help. Grief counselors could help provide emotional support or coping strategies to bereaved colleagues. This can be done in the office during work hours, or offsite at times that are more convenient for staff and business needs.

It’s important to remember that everyone grieves differently. Staff may be experiencing many emotions—sadness, anger, confusion. They might even think about their own mortality, considering things like their own funeral wishes or worrying about their family’s future well being. Giving employees access to different support options could help them work through these feelings, care for their own mental health and impact staff morale as little as possible.

Remembering a colleague

Once the initial shock of losing a member of staff has subsided, the business may want to honor the deceased in a meaningful way. This might include short term gestures, like sending a card to their family or ordering a flower arrangement for the funeral service. Someone representing the company might attend the funeral as well.

Employees may also be moved to do more. Those especially close to the deceased could organise meals for the family during the mourning period. Donations could also be made to the family or to a favorite charity, with the business matching employee contributions.

Staff might also appreciate a more permanent reminder of their beloved colleague. A small plaque could be hung somewhere in the office as a tribute. The business could also sponsor a memorial bench or plant a tree in a local park. Employees might also enjoy taking part in a fun run, raising money for a good cause in their colleague’s name.

Addressing business needs

The well being of your staff is important, but so are the needs of the business. Finding the right balance between the two can be tricky. However, finding the right people to assist with the transition could make a big difference.

There may be time-sensitive tasks that need to be addressed. Identify a trusted team member to take over these business needs in the short-term—someone who understands the urgency and is OK with the increased workload during this difficult time. Once the most important tasks are delegated, key employees can develop a more complete handover plan.

Someone may also need to let people outside of the business know what’s happened. Contact relevant stakeholders, professional organisations and anyone else that the deceased worked closely with. This process may take days, weeks or possibly longer. The person responsible for breaking the sad news to others should be comfortable having these difficult conversations for some time.

Moving on

It may be hard to imagine the workplace without your trusted colleague there. This will hopefully get easier as time passes, but there are practical changes that will need to happen.

Your employee may have left personal items in their work space. Ask a trusted staff member or someone close to the deceased to pack these up so they can be returned to the family. It may be nicer to do this gradually, so other staff aren’t shocked to find a suddenly empty desk in the morning.

Unexpectedly hearing the voice or seeing a photo of someone who’s died can reopen old wounds. It may be necessary to update voicemail recordings and the company website to help avoid this pain. From a security standpoint, the deceased’s security clearances and login credentials should be removed to prevent fraud or breaches.

Finally, it’s likely that this employee will need to be replaced in the future. It may be less painful for their colleagues to seat the new team member at a different desk, if possible. It might even be a good idea to rearrange the entire office layout, so no one must sit in the same spot where the deceased once did.

Dealing with death in a healthy way

The death of an employee can take a toll on both management and staff. Having a plan in place for dealing with these unfortunate scenarios could help everything go as smoothly as possible, given the circumstances. Your employees are one of your most important resources. Taking care of their mental health and well being could help everyone get back to business as usual, as soon as possible.

The post How To Help Staff When An Employee Passes Away appeared first on Born Realist.

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