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5 Behaviors That Reveal You’re Ready for a Relationship


Are you starting to look wistfully at couples in love in their relationship, watching them holding hands on the street, kissing in the café, or picnicking at the beach? Perhaps, as you get older, you’re questioning if being alone is really that wonderful. Or maybe you’re just feeling your biological clock tick.

Thinking of getting back into dating for the purpose of a relationship has many uncertainties, fears, and questions for a lot of people. Depending upon your age, previous relationship experience, or how long you have been independent, your reasons for choosing to get back on the saddle will differ, as well as the method you choose to meet people.

The ultimate question comes down to this one: “Are you ready”? Your questions may be based on your internal or emotional state. Are you ready to sacrifice your time and energy to meet and date people? Are you ready to open yourself up to share the events of your life? Additionally, are you ready to possibly alter some of your preferred quirks in order to accommodate someone in your life?

The questions may be based on if circumstances in your life make dating an option. If you are a full-time employee who is also going to school, then time for a relationship may be limited and distracting. Do you feel you have succeeded enough in your career and financial obligations to welcome the possibility of adding another person to your life?

Before we get into how to know if you’re ready for a relationship, here are some key differences between dating and relationships.

Dating versus a Relationship

What is the difference between dating and a relationship? Most people would state the level of commitment and emotional attachment to each other differ. Dating is viewed in a couple of different ways:

  1. A way to meet multiple people without emotional attachment, possibly until you find someone special. This can be great for figuring out what you do or don’t want in a potential partner or if you even want a relationship at all.
  2. Possibly finding a person who fits your needs and wants for the time, with or without some emotional attachment. It is mutually beneficial but is lacking 100% commitment.
  3. You are seeing a particular individual to figure out if it can become more. At some stage, it either grows into a relationship or just falls apart.

Are you ready to face the roller coaster ride of hope and pain for the possibility of love and commitment?

Here are 5 behaviors that reveal if you’re ready for a relationship.

1. Being Ready to Date

Are you ready to date? People usually need to get to know each other before a relationship can form. It is part of the process in most countries. If you find yourself looking for ways out of situations in which you are getting a vibe the other person is going to ask you out, you are probably not ready. Unless you just feel strongly against the other person, being asked out or flirted with is usually flattering, no matter your answer. People who are not ready to even start the process are usually not ready for the long journey of a relationship either. There are caveats to this, however.

Choosing to date someone can also just be a matter of your comfort zone. In other words, plenty of people will tell a stranger “no” to a date but find a co-worker or friend of a friend acceptable to say yes. Dating is scary; not just emotionally putting yourself out there, but it can also be threatening to your safety. Starting to date a virtual stranger should always come with some precautions for your safety.

Other times it can be a wonderful happenstance of fate. You could meet someone unexpectedly who you really feel drawn toward or feel a connection with. Yesterday, you may have run from being asked out, but today you’ve met someone worth the risk.

Life can be funny that way. Sometimes, just being open to possibilities is the best way to start rather than seeking out someone. It can depend on you and your outlook of dating and relationships. Other times, life just gives you a push regardless and you surprise yourself.

2. Being Ready for a Commitment

Being ready to date is a good sign you’re ready for a relationship, but being prepared to offer a commitment should you find someone is a bigger indicator. Above, we listed multiple ways dating is viewed, and commitment was an unknown variable. Commitment is what transforms dating to a relationship status. It can also determine the success of the relationship. With that desire to commit, one must feel ready.

Four studies and five independent samples were done at Purdue University by Christopher Agnew, Benjamin Hadden, and Ken Tan. The findings were best summed up by Chris Agnew, the Professor of Psychological Sciences and President for Research at Purdue University.

“Feeling ready leads to better relational outcomes and well-being. When a person feels more ready, this tends to amplify the effect of psychological commitment on relationship maintenance and stability.”

The opposite was proven as well. Those who felt less ready for a commitment or that the timing wasn’t right were less likely to stay in a relationship.

What can make a person ready for a commitment? That will vary depending upon experiences, age, culture, current life circumstances, and other factors.

3. Willing to be Open

Most people have experienced heartbreak or pain from a relationship. The damage it can create may depend upon the severity and impact of that relationship on your life. Going through a divorce after 25 years of marriage, losing a spouse to a terminal illness or death, or having a person lie and wipe out all of your savings and belongings can all lead to emotional scars. It takes time to heal from the effects and gain your sense of self back and what life means to you. Chances are, you are not going to be very open to letting someone into your life immediately after such an event.

Whether you must love yourself before you can love someone else might be debatable. Being open to allowing love into your life isn’t. A person can love you and show you your value, but only if you are willing to allow them.

Being ready for a relationship does require you to be emotionally available and open. Your potential partner wants to know that you are willing to share in their triumphs, struggles, pain, and happiness. In order to feel connected, they need to provide support for you as well.

4. Willing to Communicate

Communicating comes in all forms: verbal, written, and body language. People might be surprised to know that your body language communicates your willingness to find someone. If you tend to not make a lot of eye contact with people, look down on the ground, don’t smile often, and keep your arms across your body, you are telling people you are not available. They might conclude that you are purposely keeping people at a distance. People will likely interpret that you are not open to friendships or romantic relationships.

However, if you smile often while making eye contact, keep your arms down casually at your side, look up and around your environment, then chances are you are open to conversations and interactions.

Talking to people while asking questions that pertain to them, and listening and responding appropriately to the responses, show you are open to connecting to people. This is a step beyond just casual conversation about the game last night, a recent concert, or work life. You are showing that you are interested in knowing more about them.

This will then reflect itself toward a relationship as well. You will attempt to continue this, wanting to connect with someone you are dating and serious about. They will do the same. It is one of the biggest indicators of someone truly interested in you and a precursor to showing how the two of you will communicate with each other in a relationship.

5. Willing to Give Your Time and Energy

Being in a relationship requires sacrifices of time and energy. Maybe you are used to spending your evening grinding out a game to level, hanging with your friends, or watching a movie. Now in a relationship, you need to schedule time for your gaming grind and for your partner. If it is more of an annoyance to be with someone than it is to go out with your friends, then you aren’t ready for a relationship.

If you find that coming home after work every day leaves you too tired to even want to talk or chat with your partner and on weekends you just want to chill by yourself, then you don’t have the time or the energy to put toward someone else.

Choosing to be in a relationship requires you make it a priority to a certain extent. Obviously balancing personal time, work time, and relationship time is important, but if the relationship is always losing out, then you aren’t willing to put in the time or energy for it. Either you are not ready for a relationship, or you are in the wrong one.

Closing Thoughts on Behaviors that Reveal if You’re Ready for a Relationship

Relationships don’t come easy and they shouldn’t be. They require a sacrifice of your time and energy, your emotions, and a willingness to commit not only to the person, but to the success of the relationship. This does not mean everything in your life must be perfect. It doesn’t mean you have to be 100% together and have accomplished your goals in order to be ready for a relationship.

When it comes to relationships, there is no formula for meeting the perfect person. You can make yourself available or life can surprise you. Regardless, you will find that these 5 behaviors happen most naturally when you are ready.

The post 5 Behaviors That Reveal You’re Ready for a Relationship appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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5 Ways to Flirt With Your Soul to Attract Your Soulmate


Many people are out in the world hoping to find their soulmate. They want to find the person who will fit into their lives amazingly. They want to find that ever-elusive “One True Love” that evades them.

When you’re out in a bar and flirting with the person next to you, how do you know if you’re even doing it right? Is what you’re doing even attracting the right people? The answer depends: are you flirting with your soul?

It sounds complicated, and it can be, but speaking with your very being and soul is what draws the right people in and keeps the wrong people out. Here are some ways to flirt with your soul to attract your soulmate.

5 Ways To Flirt With Your Soul To Attract Your Soulmate

1. Practice Honesty

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to flirting with your soul. Anything founded on lies or half-truths will come back to bite you at the end of the day. Besides, how can you use your soul if you’re masking what it contains? Here are some ways you need to be honest to flirt with your soul.

· Be Honest With Yourself

Flirting with your soul involves knowing yourself well, and the only way to do so is to be honest with yourself. A lot of times, people fear who they are without realizing it, so they ignore their innermost voices in favor of avoiding personal introspection.

That’s why it’s important to be honest with yourself. You have to be confident in yourself, and in order to do so, you have to know yourself and be real about it! So be proud of who you are, practice positive thinking, and know that at the end of the day, your authentic stuff is more than enough!

· With The People You Flirt With

A lot of people embellish their lives and personalities when flirting with new people. This sets the stage for disappointment, a lack of trust, and other issues as you go on.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put your best foot forward – you should always do that! – it just means that you shouldn’t pretend to be someone you’re not to attract others. Your real soulmate will like you just as you are, and may even deem your dishonest self a less-than-suitable match.

· With Your Relationship Desires

There is definitely a line to be drawn regarding reasonable expectations, but that doesn’t mean you cannot go after certain desires, even if they are not the most conventional.

Unfortunately, many people believe that wanting certain things out of a relationship is “greedy” – but it isn’t greedy or shallow to want certain things out of your lifelong partner. For example, you may want a partner who:

  • Aims to travel with you often
  • Loves social gatherings or is extroverted
  • Will cook for the family
  • Has certain political leanings or opinions that align with yours
  • Is a vegetarian, vegan, or has a dietary plan similar to yours

You have to be honest with yourself and what you want. Before you attempt to find your soulmate, take time to determine what you really, truly want in a relationship.

Essentially, don’t settle! Don’t model your desires after successful relationships around you, as every relationship is unique and different. This will prevent discontentment down the line.

Be true to yourself, your desires, and who you are; in this way, seek to forge honest, real connections with others. That’s how you flirt with your soul, and it’s how your soulmate will be drawn to you!

2. Love Yourself and Heal Yourself

It’s important to work on yourself and focus on self-love, instead of searching for someone to help you heal. Not only is seeking a soulmate to make you whole a toxic way to begin a relationship, it likely won’t actually attract a real soulmate.

Of course, the concept of needing to love yourself before someone else can love you is a bit of an exaggeration, but at its root, it’s a good concept to follow. If you’re overly critical of yourself and who you are, you send out bad vibes and negative energy that will repel your soulmate – and everyone else, for that matter.

Self-love is easier than it sounds, though. So here are some ways that you can work in this area!

· Forgive Yourself

It’s not unusual for someone to be extremely hard on themselves. You might feel like your past wrongdoings mean you have to punish yourself forever. You might be stuck in the past due to moments where you messed up.

But you need to learn to be kind to yourself and be forgiving of your past. You can’t grow without making errors along the way; the best thing you can do is learn from those errors, apply the lessons to your life, and move on.

Remember that there is no such thing as failure, as those failures are only stepping stones to success. Learn to take each failure in a positive way, and you’ll be able to do the same for others.

· Work On Healing

Old wounds can make it difficult to move forward. It can cause you to form protective habits to prevent yourself from being hurt again, without truly understanding the wounds you’ve sustained.

Take a moment to examine your so-called emotional baggage. Take a look at areas of your life and behavior that are affected by this baggage. Recognize where your issues come from; then let yourself understand them.

Realize that these problems do not dictate your future and that you can incorporate positive habits to prevent them. Allow yourself to heal and give yourself permission to be happy. Believe that the rest will follow.

· Prioritize Self-Love

Treat yourself well every single day. Listen to your body and mind and what it wants. Be gentle with your mistakes. Do what you can do be happy.

It can feel like an uphill battle at first, but soon, little positive affirmations, moments of kindness, and your self-love habits will become natural to you. You’ll really, truly love yourself more and more every day, opening the door for others to love you.

· Do Self-Care

Everyone needs a break, even go-getters like you! Make sure that your own needs are being met regularly. Treat yourself once in a while and let yourself feel pampered. It’ll do wonders for your mental health!

At the end of the day, loving yourself is attractive. It creates confidence, and your positive thinking will shine through with a bright energy that draws others in. That’s how you can flirt with your soul!

3. Pay Attention To Silence

There is a lot that can be said in silence, often more so than you can hear in audible words. Your connection to a soulmate will occur without the noise – you’ll feel it in the energy, in the air, and intuitively.

Here are some ways to learn to appreciate silence when you’re flirting with your soul to draw your soulmate in.

· Body Language

Nonverbal language makes up a huge portion of communication. If you ignore this, you might miss out on some interesting cues from a soulmate, such as:

  • Expressions
  • Gestures
  • Posture

On top of that, understanding nonverbal language will allow you to be more in control of yours so you can use it effectively when flirting!

· Eyes

Someone’s eyes say a lot about them. Some even say that they’re the window to the soul. Practice good, healthy eye contact when flirting and appreciate what you notice in the other person. Maybe there’s a spark there only you can see!

· Exist

Sometimes, all you have to do is take a step back, breathe in, and allow yourself to exist in a space. Even in a party or large social gathering, learn to appreciate the sounds of the world around you without actively participating all the time.

With a soulmate, you’ll enjoy many comfortable minutes of silence. Even when in a crowded room, you’ll be drawn to each other and will be able to exist in your own private world together. It’s a magical feeling to experience with one another, and in order to get there, you have to learn to be happy with silence.

4. Be True To Who You Are

Your soulmate will be attracted to who you really, truly are. They’re not going to be drawn in by your masks and embellishments. They’re not going to notice you when you tone yourself down to hide your perceived “weird” traits or preferences.

As we mentioned earlier, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of embellishing your life and putting on a mask when flirting. You want others to like you, so you shift into what you think they want – and, often, you get it wrong anyway.

If your goal is to attract your soulmate; other people who don’t like who you are don’t matter. They won’t be a big part of your life, and they definitely aren’t expecting you to change.

So don’t be afraid to be yourself, to be unique, and to be “weird.” Wear the outfits you love, even if your friends say they dampen your chances. Talk about your passions, even the ones others might scoff to hear about. Express yourself boldly and confidently, and even people who don’t like you will have to respect your self-assuredness.

It’s exhausting to wear any kind of mask. To be yourself is the ultimate way to flirt with your soul to attract your soulmate. Don’t put on fake personalities for others – wear your own proudly, and let those who are drawn to you be drawn further in.

5. Have Faith In The Journey

A lot of times, people are so focused on the end goal – finding a soulmate – that they forget how amazing the journey can be. A soulmate relationship is just like any other – it’s a relationship, and you need to be in a good place in your life to sustain it.

Trust that the universe is conspiring to make that happen perfectly. Don’t rush it, don’t force it, and don’t become discouraged. Put your faith in the whole process and continue to learn and grow every day. One day, as you flirt from your soul, your soulmate will find you, and you will find them.

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Flirt With Your Soul To Attract Your Soulmate

Flirting with your soul is an art, and it takes practice. But by being honest, being yourself, and loving who you are, you’ll find that it’s not too hard to grasp. So relax and enjoy the moment. Who knows? Your soulmate might be just around the corner.

The post 5 Ways to Flirt With Your Soul to Attract Your Soulmate appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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7 Signs That Reveal Bad Energy In Your Relationship


We interact with different people every day – our parents, children, spouse, coworkers, significant other, boss, etc. How those interactions play out severely affect how you see yourself, your career, your parenting style, your relationship, and just life in general.

We all can agree that a good relationship must be based on trust, healthy communication, respect, honesty, and setting boundaries for ourselves and others. Building and maintaining those aspects of relationships requires effort, time, and commitment. You must value that relationship. What happens when that foundation begins to break or was never built in the first place?

An unhealthy or toxic relationship creates bad energy between yourself and the other person. Usually, toxic relationships have clear signs from almost the beginning. What are 7 signs that reveal bad energy in your relationship?

What is a toxic relationship?

Lillian Glass, a psychology expert who claims to have initiated the term “toxic relationships” in her book Toxic People, defines toxic relationships as “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.” It is important to note here that she differentiates toxic and abusive relationships. She clarifies that an abusive relationship is one where one person is exerting control over the other through physical abuse, psychological tactics, verbal abuse or some combination of each.

Bad energy (or toxic energy) in a relationship equates to negativity. People learn negative thinking and behavior through various circumstances: their childhood, a mental illness, traumatic experiences, or a fear-based mentality. According to Raj Raghunathan, Ph.D., author of Dealing With Negative People, a fear of disrespect, the fear of being unlovable, and the fear that the world is a dangerous place can create negative energy in relationships. Fear and love cannot coexist in a healthy relationship.

Now that you know a little about toxic relationships, we’ll go over some signs of bad energy in your romantic life.

7 signs of bad energy in your relationship

1. You argue all the time

As stated above, healthy communication is one of the building blocks for a foundation of a good relationship. Being unable to agree or compromise and always reverting to an argument means that you don’t know how to communicate effectively with each other. People disagree all of the time, but eventually, most people come to a compromise. Constant arguing points to a problem in how the information is being relayed or understood. This is especially true if the arguing includes disrespect, insults, and failure to reach a mutual agreement.

2. Constant complaints about each other

Needing to occasionally vent to a friend about relationship problems is normal. After all, some situations arise in relationships where an outside party could provide helpful advice. It usually aids us in burning off stress and helping to understand the other side. The negative loop becomes obvious if you or your partner is chronically complaining, never seeing the other perspective, or stressing about trivial matters.

3. No longer sharing about each other’s day

Sharing with people about your life is a natural way people connect with others. Whether it is updates on performance at work or school, funny or frustrating things that happened, or a passing joke, these are all ways to connect with one another. If you and your partner find you know nothing about each other’s day, then you are no longer investing in each other.

4. You don’t feel happy and/or comfortable around your partner

Why do we have relationships? Basically, we have an inherent need to feel emotionally close to someone. We choose the relationships in our lives because the person makes us feel happy, important, and comfortable in our own skin. Feelings of nervousness, defensiveness, or tension around each other demonstrate a lack of happiness and comfort in the relationship.

If you choose someone out of loneliness or desperation, for example, you might start having negative feelings around them due to a forced connection.

5. You manipulate each other’s emotions

Passive-aggressive behavior consists of behavior that is punitive in nature while not stating the cause. This may include purposely going out of the way to avoid someone, giving them the silent treatment, withholding affection, or making them jealous or guilty. This behavior is extremely damaging, as it causes the other person to feel that they have to bend over backwards to tend to the other person. They are being punished, yet they don’t know what they did and therefore don’t know how to correct the behavior.

6. Lack of affection or intimacy

Physical intimacy is crucial to the emotional wellbeing of all people. Giving hugs and kisses, putting your arms around their shoulders or waist, offering small touches on the arms, legs or back, and initiating sex are all forms of affection and intimacy with a person. It demonstrates a closeness and a connection to that individual. No longer desiring to relay that affection demonstrates a rift in most relationships.

7. No longer offering compliments or positive statements

Part of wanting to make someone happy or encourage positive behavior includes complimenting them. It is a sign of appreciation for what they did or the care they took in something. This includes complimenting each other for a raise at work, a job promotion, a new haircut, a well-made dinner, and other daily accomplishments. If you no longer notice these things or are purposely not sharing these positive comments, then negativity is brewing under the surface. Thus, the other person is going to feel uncared for and unappreciated.

How to handle bad energy in your relationship

Recognizing bad energy in your relationship can create a wealth of emotions including guilt, anger, helplessness, or feeling trapped. Usually, by the time you’ve recognized it, you have been an unwilling accomplice in the relationship’s demise. Does this mean the relationship is irreparable? No, but it will take time, energy, and patience to heal it.

1. Self-Care

Usually, by the time one recognizes the bad energy in a relationship, some damage has been done to their self-esteem. This lack of self-esteem also drains energy and morale. Begin to take time to care for yourself through exercise, appearance, meditation, affirmations, a spa day, or a short vacation to refuel yourself.

2. Therapy

Going to individual, marriage, or family therapy can help everyone voice their feelings with a therapist present to mediate and put things in perspective for both parties. Oftentimes, emotions are so raw and high that being able to speak to each other without reverting to the negative habits is impossible. After all, your relationship is now defined by this negativity and dynamics have been in play allowing it to function.

3. Be more positive

You can’t change the other person, but you can change yourself. Consequently, by changing yourself, their reactions to you will change. The best way to combat negativity is through positivity. Build your own positivity by writing affirmations for yourself, making a list of “gratitudes”, meditating, and listening to positive videos or podcast. Give the other person compliments and make sure to reward them for improvements or positive things they do, no matter how small.

4. Be Compassionate and Listen

There are many reasons why a person may be negative. Often, it is due to fear – fear of not being enough, fear of abandonment, and the fear of being unlovable are just a few. When someone is being negative with you, ask them to explain. Don’t argue with them – just listen and show compassion. Show them that you are safe to talk to and that you care about them. This will open up a dialogue where you can both be open and honest without judgment.

5. Don’t blame the other party

It is so easy to blame the other person for why the relationship no longer works, why you are unhappy and why everything is negative. However, remember that a relationship takes two people in order to work. Try not to blame them for how the relationship turned out, but make sure to voice your concerns and feelings in a healthy way.

6. Take responsibility for your part

There’s an expression, “It takes two to argue.” It takes two to build a relationship with bad energy as well. Look at yourself and how you contributed to the negativity. If you chose to combat negativity with your own negativity, that is on you. That is a tough lesson to learn and one many do not like to accept. It is part of taking responsibility for yourself and your role in the relationship.

We all deserve a loving, healthy relationship. Recognizing and changing the bad energy in a relationship is not easy; in fact, it’s much easier to just walk away. However, remember that bad energy can be transformed to positivity. You and your significant other can grow and learn from the negative experiences together to build a stronger relationship.

The post 7 Signs That Reveal Bad Energy In Your Relationship appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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Chiltan Pure Pakistan: The Best Essential Oil Providers in Pakistan


In the industrial age that we live in, most of our food contains products that are harmful to our bodies. It is likely that the food you consume today, is more dangerous to your health in the long run than fasting and not consuming anything is!

Sounds scary, doesn’t it? We agree it is scary. However, there is a healthier version of products that you can consume and use for your care.

This healthier option is organic foods.

The organic food business has reached a new height in the last few years, it was noted by a study that around 70 percent of Americans buy organic foods occasionally, and nearly one-quarter of that believe it is essential and so, purchase organic food every week. For all these people, the reason for buying organic food is fairly simple and easy to understand.

They want natural food for themselves and for the environment.

But what is organic food exactly?

Organic food refers to such products which are produced with minimum synthetic ingredients and adhere to certain strict rules and regulations by the countries agriculture board. These crops are generally grown without synthetic pesticides, artificial fertilizers, irradiation (a form of radiation used to kill micro pests like bacteria) and biotechnology. Animals are grown eating organically grown feed, and these animals are raised without antibiotics and are not given growth hormones that may cause problems later on in the body.

Which means that organic food and organic products, in general, have more beneficial nutrients. They contain essential and natural antioxidants (used for keeping you looking youthful longer and essential for the working of your body).

People who are allergic to certain products are less likely to be allergic and there have been reports of allergic reactions completely disappearing as well.

Is organic food better for my family?

Organic foods have a higher nutritional value than everyday foods and vegetables that you may buy according to research.

This is because with the lack of harmful pesticides plants are more likely to produce a higher number of phytochemicals (like vitamins and antioxidants), this helps them strengthen their resistance to bugs and weeds in a very natural manner.

Some studies have even linked pesticides to simple things like headaches and even to cancer and birth defects.

At this point, the question remains, where should I buy organic foods?

Pakistan has not had a good locally produced supplier of high-quality organic products until now, however, the wait is over.

Presented Chiltan Pure Pakistan, the country’s very first reliable organic products online store which is going to be offering certified organic Essential Oils, Carrier Oils, Moringa Products and Aloe Vera gel for face, hair, your body and consumption.

What are the benefits of using these essential oils from Chiltan Pure?

Using organic products like essential oils on your face and body will not just mean a lasting beauty and youthfulness but will keep you looking beautiful for a long time, keeping the adverse effects that chemical beauty cleanses have out of the door.

Chiltan Pure is also a Pakistani centred brand, creating products in the country and delivering them in the country as well.

They offer free shipping and their organic products are not just budget friendly but are sure to help solve all the problems they have promised to solve.

Their ultimate goal is to become the largest Pure and Natural skincare and food company in Pakistan. They believe they can achieve their goals and bring happiness and clarity to their customers by providing quality and purity.

They believe, as all good companies should, that their quality is ultimately going to keep people coming back.

At the same time, there are special qualities that each product available on Chiltan Pure has that you won’t be able to find in the creams you use and the food consume.

Let’s go over some products to help you process the importance and significance of the oils and food;

Moringa Products:

Moringa Oleifera is a plant that has been in use to naturally keep people looking youthful and healthy for over a thousand years. It is full of antioxidants (your body’s major defence against the adverse effects of ageing) and it has several other active plant compounds.

This plant has been under the microscope for a very long time.

Scientists, however, have not been able to identify all of its health benefits.

Let’s review a few of the major ones,

  1. Moringa Oleifera Is an Extremely Nutritious Plant: The plant is native to India and it goes by a number of names. All three parts of the tree are eaten or their ingredients are used in highly potent herbal medicines. The Moringa leaves are an excellent source of several essential vitamins and minerals. Among these essential vitamins is the very important vitamin B complex which includes B2 and B6. Both of which cannot be manufactured by your body, so getting through external sources is essential.
  2. Moringa Oleifera is full of essential antioxidants: Antioxidants are compounds that keep away the effects of ageing in your body, they are responsible for getting rid of free radicals, which are actually the cause of several diseases like heart disease, and even type 2 diabetes. Several essential antioxidants like Quercetin (a powerful antioxidant that lowers blood pressure) and Chlorogenic acid (helps to moderate blood sugar.)
  3. Moringa Oleifera may reduce inflammation in the body naturally: inflammation is the body’s natural response to an injury or infection, it can also be defined a bit broadly as swelling. This is an extremely important protective mechanism of the body but can lead to chronic problems if left untreated for a long time. It has been seen that Moringa has a whole list of anti-inflammatory compounds coming from the family of isothiocyanates.
  4. Moringa Lowers Cholesterol: Having a high level of cholesterol in your body can be linked to heart disease. Consuming Moringa Oleifera will help you avoid that.
  5. Moringa Oleifera protects against arsenic poisoning: Arsenic poisoning is a huge problem in South East Asia. It has been observed that certain kinds of rice being produced in the country have very high levels of arsenic. Hence, as a preventive measure, it is best to consume leaves and seeds of Moringa oleifera to protect yourself from the effects of arsenic poisoning.

Aloe Vera Gel and Aloe Vera Juice:

Aloe Vera gel is widely known for its amazing properties, and it is usually recommended to people for skin burn and for its benefits in skin care.

However, the Aloe Vera gel is sold in the market today is not pure enough to be used on your skin. Which is why buying it from a reputable retailer is essential.

Similarly, Chiltan Pure also offers Aloe Vera Juice, a pure product that is guaranteed to make your skin glow and to take away your bodily problems.

Here are some of the benefits Aloe Vera can have on your skin and your body if you have the pure gel with you. Some of these might shock you;

1) Aloe Vera can relieve heartburn: Several people suffer from heartburn quite frequently, and there does not seem to be a natural way to keep your stomach in sorts. Well, the best way to relieve heartburn is by taking 1 to 3 ounces of Aloe Gel at mealtime. It can help cure a number of digestion related problems.

2) Keep Other Products Fresh for a long Period of Time: A study conducted in 2014 came to the conclusion that by coating Aloe Gel on fruits and vegetables you could radically improve their freshness. This makes them easy to carry if you’re on a trip and are worried about something spoiling.

3) A Great Mouthwash: Aloe Vera is a very safe and effective alternative to chemical mouthwashes. The plant has so many natural products and compounds that not just effectively take out bacteria from your mouth but can even block plaque formation.

4) It Lowers Blood Sugar: Taking a few tablespoons of Aloe Vera can bring down blood sugar levels for people with type 2 diabetes.

5) An Excellent Laxative: Aloe Vera is known to be an excellent laxative, it can even aid digestion. If you have Crohn’s disease, colitis, or haemorrhoids you shouldn’t have too much aloe vera. It is possible that by doing so you could get abdominal cramps and diarrhoea.

6) Skin Care: Aloe Vera can keep your skin clear and what more does a person want in life? Aloe Vera grows in dry environments best, and to do so, it must store water. Which is why its gel is so useful for skin care.

Sea Buckthorn:

Sea buckthorn is a plant. Almost every part of the plant is used to make medicine and skin care products. Its leaves, flowers, seeds and fruits are in use for hundreds of years.

Sea Buckthorns flowers and leaves have been used to treat everything from arthritis, gout to skin rashes.

A tea made of buckthorn leaves is full of vitamins, antioxidants and is perfect for those of you hoping to lose weight fast.

Here are some of its uses that might shock you;

1) Takes care of waste products in the body: Taking Sea Buckthorn oil for 8 weeks can help remove waste from the blood.

2) High blood pressure: Studies have gone on to show that consuming sea buckthorn by eating it for up to 8 months might reduce high blood pressure and has impacts similar and comparable to blood pressure lowering drugs.

3) Liver disease: Consuming sea buckthorn extract brings down the presence of a large number of liver enzymes and other chemicals that may appear because of liver disease.

4) Weight loss. Sea Buckthorn berries, berry oil, or extract when consumed has been shown to reduce body weight in overweight or obese women.

5) Sea Buckthorn Oil: The oil is used to help slow the decline of thinking skills in aging people, it is also used to help reduce and hinder the diseases associated with cancer. It balances the immune system as well and is used to treat stomach and intestinal diseases.

What is there to know about Chiltan Pure Pakistan?

Chiltan Pure Pakistan has been brought to life by Najam Mazari who is the CEO of Chiltan Pure Pakistan.

He comments that Chiltan Pure’s aim is not to become the largest essential oil and pure products producer in Pakistan but to able to spread as much positive impact on the health of Pakistani’s as they can.

He says that they can only do so by giving their customers the quality and the service that they deserve.

He believes that by working on giving a healthier lifestyle to people who are better off, the company is more likely to be able to do the same for people in Pakistan who are suffering from lack of nutrition because of the large and thoughtless chemical leachates that have found their way in food.

There are several good reasons to move on to organic products. They do not contain GMOs and their manufactured naturally, with as little pesticides as possible, and something like that is hard to find in Pakistan.

Chiltan Pure Pakistan manufactures organic essential oils and products that are made using only crops and plants that come from an organic origin, with an as little chemical used as possible.

The plant produces its own products to protect itself from pests and these products (which are sometimes essential oils) are extracted from the plant and given out to Chiltan Pures customers.

These essential oils later become the means by which Chiltan Pure’s customers can get their healthy dose of anti-oxidants that their skin and body needs.

Today, Chiltan Pure Pakistan is the leading provider of quality essential oils.

It is unmatched in its organic Aloe era Products, its natural Moringa Power and its edible rose water along with several other essential oils.

The products are not just economical, they are high quality and that combination is hard to find in Pakistan.

Honest Review: Are these Organic Products Worth My Money?

After carefully going over the essential oils, and using them over a few weeks’ time, BR’s team is happy to report that these essential oils are not just saving the environment, but are everything that we’ve been wanting for our skin and nutrition!

Chiltan Pure Pakistan is helping make Pakistan’s environment Pollution free:

Organic farming helps reduce pollutants in the localities groundwater supply and creates a fresher and cleaner source of water for all. It also creates richer soil and helps evade erosion.

That is exactly what plants grown for Chiltan Pure’s products have done! These plants also bring down pesticides in the drinking water that you and your family will end up using. Which is why, according to the new initiative, it’s about time we brought down pollution in Pakistan!

Does not waste energy:

It has been seen that organic farming uses 50 per cent less energy than conventional farming methods. This will help bring down the already out of bounds crisis of energy that the country is facing.

Tastes, smells and works better:

Essential oils that you buy from Chiltan Pure taste better, smell better and work better.

But why is that?

Well, according to a study, the higher antioxidant levels in organic food have the ability to enhance that quality of the product.

Which means you’ll be able to know how pure something is when it refreshes your face and your body, unlike the chemically aided food which leaves you wondering why you’ve been using all this money on these products.

The post Chiltan Pure Pakistan: The Best Essential Oil Providers in Pakistan appeared first on Born Realist.

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Taiwan Becomes First Asian Nation To Legalize Same Sex Marriage


Today, the Taiwanese government passed groundbreaking legislation giving same-sex couples the right to marry. Taiwan is the first Asian country to allow same sex marriage.

Conservative lawmakers pushed for a ‘civil-union’ law, but this was vehemently rejected by the Taiwanese parliament. A law was passed allowing same-sex couples to enter ‘exclusive permanent unions’. The government added a second clause which would allow couples to apply for a ‘marriage registration’ from government agencies.

Bad weather couldn’t stop gay rights supporters from gathering outside the parliament in the nation’s capital, Taipei. Thousands of people stood outside in heavy rain to watch a live broadcast of the debate and final decision.

Same-sex marriage, like many other places in the world, has been a heated topic for years in Taiwan, dividing citizens and members of government parties alike. Today, however, the top court in the country ruled that prohibiting same sex couples from marrying violates the constitution, according to The Guardian.

Judges gave the Taiwanese government until Friday, May 24 to make amendments to the law, otherwise laws allowing same-sex marriage would automatically be passed.

As the deadline got closer, the government came up with three bills to be voted on. The most progressive of the three, and the only one actually using the word ‘marriage,’ passed by 66 to 27 votes. Though it wasn’t as inclusive as they had hoped, it was the only bill of the three to allow some adoption rights to same sex couples. It allows spouses to adopt their partner’s biological children. However, same sex couples will not be allowed to co-adopt.

The president of Taiwan, Tsai Ing-wen, tweeted, “Good morning #Taiwan. Today, we have a chance to make history & show the world that progressive values can take root in an East Asian society.

Today, we can show the world that #LoveWins.”

And, history was made indeed, as Taiwan became the first Asian nation to allow same sex marriage.

This is historic! As opposed to the growing suppression of #HumanRights & #ReligiousFreedom in authoritarian #China, #Taiwan just took a giant leap for #MarriageEquality & #LGBTQI protection. We're proud to be writing a new chapter in #Asia. JW

— ??? Ministry of Foreign Affairs, ROC (Taiwan) ?? (@MOFA_Taiwan) May 17, 2019

The president spoke about how the illegality of same sex marriage divided ‘families, generations and even inside religious groups’. She said, however, that the bill is the only one to respect both the court’s judgment and a referendum made last year in which citizens voted to restrict the definition of marriage in the nation’s civil code to only between a man and woman. Instead of making changes to the civil code, the government created a new law for the regulation of same sex marriage.

Before the bill was passed into law, Jennifer Lu, a spokeswoman for Marriage Equality Coalition Taiwan, said, The world is watching to see if Taiwan’s parliament will write a new page in gender equality or deal another blow to Taiwan’s hard-fought democracy, human rights and the rule of law.

For the gay communities what matters the most is whether we can legally get married on May 24 and be listed as the spouse in ID cards, to be treated and respected as the ’spouse’ in the whole legal system … and whether same-sex families can obtain legal parental rights for their children.”

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

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How To Disinfect and Clean Your Home With Only 4 Ingredients


Cleaning products are often specialized for one specific purpose, causing you to need to buy many different types for your cleaning needs. Worse still, these commercial cleaners are packed with deadly chemicals that can actually be as harmful to you as smoking a pack of cigarettes every day!

But don’t worry. Keep your positive thinking going! There are completely natural, inexpensive ways to clean your home in a way that is health-conscious. Better yet, all it takes are a few things you likely already have at home.

Here’s How To Disinfect And Clean Your Home With Only 4 Ingredients

1. Baking Soda

Sodium bicarbonate, more popularly known as baking soda, is a variety of salt, meaning it is a neutral compound, not an acid and not an alkali. However, its pH value is not 100% neutral; it’s a tiny bit higher, which makes it a “basic” compound. The properties that come with this make the component fantastic at cleaning for the following reasons.

a) It Releases Gas

This doesn’t exactly sound like the best thing – and it might even sound a little gross – but this is great for cleaning. Essentially, what this means is that when baking soda reaches a temperature of 300°F or higher, it expels carbon dioxide. That’s why it’s good for baking, for extinguishing grease fires, and for many more applications.

Of course, baking soda is also fantastic for cleaning – specifically for pest control! When consumed by pests, this can cause a buildup of gas within these creatures that leads to organ failure, thus acting as an effective anti-bug method.

b) Odor Absorption

Many people use items such as candles or even air fresheners to reduce stench in a room. But all these items do is make the odors less noticeable – hiding them, in a way.

On the other hand, baking soda actually absorbs bad smells. Most negative odors are acidic, and the basic nature of baking soda allows it to neutralize those low-pH molecules in the air for more positive deodorizing results.

c) Abrasive Features

Abrasive products like baking soda are fantastic for dislodging all sorts of gritty, stubborn particles that can make cleaning your home a living hell. You might think that soap does this job just as well, but soap is designed specifically to be less harsh, so as a base, it lacks the powerful qualities of baking soda.

d) Vinegar Reaction

Vinegar, another item on our list, reacts impressively well with baking soda when it comes to cleaning! We know that a mix of the two can provide an explosive reaction thanks to many a science fair project, and it’s this combination that makes it so potent.

A mix of vinegar and baking soda can easily unclog drains, clean grease and gunk in your home, and leave all surfaces completely sparkling. Not bad for a couple of standard kitchen items!

2. White Vinegar

White vinegar contains high levels of acetic acid. This means that white vinegar, distilled, has an extremely low pH of 2.4, making it more acidic than beverages like orange juice and coffee. As such, it is the perfect cleaner.

Why does this acidity work so well? It is able to fight against a lot of gunk buildup, including soap scum, hard water brine, and glue remnants. It works much more easily and efficiently than many commercial products in this respect.

White vinegar also has highly positive effects on glass of all kinds, as well as other areas where you want to see a good shine. It gets rid of stains and adds a sparkle to countless different materials.

Do note that white vinegar’s extreme acidity means it cannot be used with absolutely everything. It may be bad for flimsy materials, natural stone, and skin. Diluting it with water will make it safer for direct application, but there are other options for cleaning these particular things.

3. Rubbing Alcohol

Known also as isopropyl alcohol, rubbing alcohol is mainly used for healthcare purposes, but it’s also a fantastic cleaner. Here’s why you should add it to your cleaning kit.

a) Disinfectant Properties

Rubbing alcohol is an excellent disinfectant. That’s why it’s often used to clean and treat wounds, and that also means it’s absolutely safe to use around the house. It can sterilize your home, keeping it free from bad bacteria.

b) Gentle and Safe

As we previously mentioned, rubbing alcohol is arguably one of the safest alternative cleaners out there. It is gentle on fabrics, natural stones, and delicate materials, but it is still capable of packing a stain-removing punch and killing unwanted insects.

c) Volatile Properties

This sounds harsh, but it really isn’t! Alcohol is highly volatile, and as such, it dries quickly. This means that it doesn’t leave any residue behind, unlike even water, and you don’t have to worry about the excess alcohol sticking around for longer than a few minutes at a time.

4. Lemon Essential Oil

Lemon essential oil isn’t a “true” essential oil in the sense of the word, but it carries most – if not all – of the same benefits as any other one of these great, pure oils. It is made through the act of cold-pressing fresh lemon rind, leading to a very bright and refreshing scent.

This oil packs an acidic punch that makes it great for brightening parts of the house, furniture, or other items and infusing them with a delightful and strong fresh lemon smell. It is also packed with antimicrobial properties, which make it effective against bad bacteria and other microorganisms that you don’t want around your home.

5. Using These 4 Ingredients In Your Home Kitchen

a) Baking Soda

  • Prevent grease stains by dusting a little baking soda onto new splatters of oil or similar ingredients. This will absorb the liquid thoroughly. A short while later, brush the baking soda
  • Create a paste from warm water and some baking soda and apply it to grease spots. Use a damp cloth to wipe the area down and scrub it. Use warm water to rinse.
  • Make your stainless steel dinnerware and cookware shine with baking soda. Just sprinkle a bit onto a sponge – preferably damp – and scrub the items in question, then use warm water to rinse it off. You can also use a paste of water and baking soda to do this.

b) White Vinegar

  • Dilute your white vinegar with some warm water and pour it into a spray bottle. Spray an oven or stove thoroughly. Leave the mix to sit for around 15 minutes. Use hot water to wash off.
  • Mop linoleum or vinyl floors clean with white vinegar after diluting it with hot water.
  • Get rid of stains from hard water inside your dishwasher with white vinegar. Just pour in one cup of the stuff and allow the dishwasher to run one cycle.

c) Rubbing Alcohol

  • Mix water and rubbing alcohol together and pour into a spray bottle. Add sparkle to granite counters by spraying them with this mix.

d) Lemon Essential Oil

  • Pour a couple of lemon essential oil drops on a cotton ball. Use this to attack sticky stains left on your counters.

6. Using These 4 Ingredients To Clean Your Home Bathroom

a) Baking Soda

  • Mix warm water and baking soda to create a paste, then scrub porcelain with it to bring bright whiteness back.
  • Dust baking soda over a toilet bowl after you hit the flush. Leave it on for between 10 and 15 minutes, and then scrub down with the use of a toilet brush. Flush once more and enjoy a clean bowl!
  • Put a dash of baking soda onto a rag and use it to wipe down wet areas after you’ve used the shower or bathtub to keep grime at a minimum.

b) White Vinegar

  • Wipe mirrors and glass shelves down with water and white vinegar mixed together.
  • Soak your tub or sink with a mixture of warm water and white vinegar – just enough to cover the base. After 15 minutes, start getting rid of grime and stains with gentle scrubbing. Drain the liquid, then use hot water to rinse.
  • Disinfect your bathroom surfaces and remove bad smells with white vinegar that is completely undiluted. After allowing to soak, wipe the surface down, then rinse off with hot water.
  • Dilute white vinegar with water and spray over spots of mildew or mold in vinyl and plastic shower curtains. Wait 15 minutes, then scrub the area and use hot water to rinse.

c) Rubbing Alcohol

  • Drop a cotton ball into rubbing alcohol to soak it, then use it to get metallic items shiny and brand new.
  • Disinfect your bathtub and shower daily by filling a spray bottle with some rubbing alcohol. Use this to give surfaces a quick spritz after each bath.

d) Lemon Essential Oil

  • Pour lemon essential oil onto some clean cloth (lint-free!) and bring the shine back to metallic items by removing stains from products and hard water through gentle cleaning.

e) Combination

  • Pour white vinegar and baking soda into a handy empty spray bottle and use to spray down tiled areas. Use a damp cloth to scrub and disinfect, then wash clean with some warm water.
  • Clear clogged drains by mixing half a cup of white vinegar with half a cup of baking soda. Tip the mix down the drain in question, cover it up with a glass dish and allow to rest overnight. When you wake up, use hot water to flush out the drain.

7. Using These 4 Ingredients With Laundry

a) Baking Soda

  • Yellowing stains or others caused by organic features, such as sweat, can be treated with a water-and-baking-soda paste. Apply it over the area, then carry on with the wash.

b) White Vinegar

  • Toss in a quarter cup of white vinegar when doing laundry to get rid of any musty stenches.
  • Soak your washing machine by filling it, then pausing and pouring one cup of white vinegar inside to remove hard water stains.
  • If your clothes are too stiff and hard, use distilled white vinegar to make them softer. Add the vinegar while the clothes are on a rinse cycle.

c) Combination

  • Discolored whites? Don’t lose your positive thinking just yet! Add a mix of vinegar and baking soda at a 1:2 ratio to your next white laundry load.

Final Thoughts On How To Disinfect And Clean Your Home With Only 4 Ingredients

There is so much that you can do with simple ingredients and items. Don’t be afraid to experiment with these four ingredients and see how they can help improve your home-cleaning experience!

The post How To Disinfect and Clean Your Home With Only 4 Ingredients appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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101 Things to Never Stop Saying in Your Marriage


Sometimes we underestimate the power of words in marriage. Words can bring feelings of joy or misery; pleasure or pain.

Even the simplest words have in them the power to heal or wound.

This list includes 101 simple things to never stop saying in your marriage.

    1. I love you: Start every day with the three magic words.

    2. I’m sorry: You screwed up. It’s okay! Just apologize.
    3. I believe in you: Every one of us needs encouragement, especially your love.
    4. You can do it: We all lack confidence at times. Remember that.
    5. Thank you: Be thankful for everything you spouse does for you.
    6. You’re right: Don’t be stubborn.
    7. I was wrong: Again, don’t stubborn.
    8. Please forgive me: Ask for forgiveness when it’s called for.
    9. I trust you: Trust is critical, but you already know that.
    10. You made the right decision: Reassurance, anyone? Again, we all lack confidence at times.
    11. I want you: Straight to the point. Head to the b-room.
    12. Tell me about it: Nothing says “he loves me” or “she loves me” more than lending an ear.
    13. I want to understand: This is great to say when your partner’s hurting.
    14. Let’s do it your way: Right? Isn’t their way better?
    15. We’re in this together: Because you are.

    16. Let’s start over: To new beginnings!
    17. I took care of it: How magical is it when your spouse does what you need them to do without asking?
    18. Let’s make love: Oh, yeah.
    19. You’re the only one for me: “Gosh, I hope so.” (LOL)
    20. I don’t know where I’d be without you: A wonderful saying of appreciation.
    21. Try it and see what happens: Throw caution to the wind, sweetheart!
    22. You look amazing: The wife loves this one.
    23. I’d like to help: Sometimes you aren’t given much to go on. Offer help anyways!
    24. I couldn’t have done it without you: Remember that you’re a team. In everything.
    25. I’m not going anywhere: Except when they really don’t want to talk to you. Then it’s okay.
    26. I missed you: Another way of saying that you love being in their presence.

    27. It’s your turn: Yes, husband and wife should take turns as well.
    28. You are so selfless: There is no greater compliment to give a person. Sincerely.
    29. I’m thinking about you: Again, the wife loves this one.
    30. Good morning: What better way to start your day than the love of your life saying, “Good morning”?
    31. Good afternoon: Or Good afternoon. Same principle applies.
    32. Good night: Or “Good night.”
    33. Have a great day: A wonderful way to send your man or woman on their way.
    34. How was your day?: Rewind, breathe, recap.
    35. I’m proud of you: No explanation needed. Heartening and lovely words to hear from your spouse.
    36. You make me happy: They probably already know that, but tell ‘em anyways.
    37. You make me want to be a better man: Anyone remember when Jack Nicholson dropped these words on Helen Hunt in the movie “As Good as It Gets”? Wasn’t it sweet?
    38. What do you think?: When you need some feedback.
    39. How does that sound?: When you need some assurance.
    40. You are so beautiful/handsome: No explanation necessary. Enjoy your goodwill.
    41. Do the best you can: As this is all that matters in everything worth doing.
    42. Let’s have a date night: “Okay!”
    43. Please: Be polite.
    44. You’re my best friend: Say it like you mean it.
    45. I’m always here for you: When you feel they need you.
    46. If you need me, I’m there: When you feel they need you.
    47. Do you want to talk about it?: Sometimes it’s necessary to ask for the invite.
    48. When you’re ready to talk, I’m here: Assuring your willingness to lend an ear.

    49. How can I help?: If your spouse needs you, this question should always be asked.
    50. We’ll make it better: Life is no picnic, but it’s much easier to navigate with a confident partner.
    51. How can I make it better?: Sometimes, you can’t. But it doesn’t hurt to ask.
    52. I’ll do what it takes: Say this, but make sure that you mean it before doing so.
    53. Let’s catch up on things: Don’t let the busyness of life come between you and your spouse.
    54. Let’s shake things up: Life can be a bit dull, but marriage doesn’t have to be.
    55. You are my soulmate: How deep are these four words?
    56. Can I give you my opinion?: Not “Here’s what I think…”
    57. I need to be alone: It’s okay; just make it known.
    58. I’ll be home soon: Being away from home can be hard.
    59. I’ll take care of it: Magic to a husband’s or wife’s ears.
    60. I think this will help: It does no good to have the potential solution to a problem and not speak up.
    61. I’m so lucky to have you: Yes, you are. Let them know it.
    62. Get some rest: For when your partner needs a bit of R&R.
    63. Let me give you a massage: ‘Nuff said.
    64. Don’t worry: Said with empathy, these can be the two most comforting words in the English language.
    65. Your family is so great: Your spouse probably knows that you love their family, but they still love hearing it.
    66. You friends are so great: And again here for their friends.
    67. I really appreciate you: Notice their sacrifices and voice your appreciation.
    68. You are awesome!: “Why, thank you!”
    69. You are my protector: A bit cheesy, perhaps, but powerful.
    70. You’re a great mother/father: The ultimate compliment.
    71. You will be a great mother/father: The ultimate compliment for the future mom or dad.
    72. You are so smart: Intelligence is sexy. Your spouse will love this one.
    73. I love being with you: Never gets old.

    74. You are so kind: It’s not just about how you treat your spouse, but how you treat everyone. Few kudos are better to hear than this one from your spouse.
    75. You’re the strongest man/woman I know: Guaranteed to brighten their day!
    76. Let me hold you: No sex, no problem. Cuddle time!
    77. Give me your cheeks: This one’s for you, honey!
    78. You’re so funny!: If you’re a husband hearing this from your wife, see #18.
    79. It’s an honor to be your husband/wife: They chose you. Remember that.
    80. I love how you think: Again, intelligence is sexy!
    81. I have a surprise for you!: “Oh, goody!”
    82. I can’t wait!: And the anticipation grows…
    83. You are such a hard worker: Who doesn’t take pride in providing for their family?
    84. We are such a great team: Say this and it’s a cause for celebration. Truly.
    85. Thank you for your help: Taking a few seconds to thank your spouse for their help shows your willingness to recognize and honor their selflessness and hard work.
    86. I had so much fun: Okay, so this one might sound “date-ish,” but give it a shot!
    87. I trust your judgement: Marriage is all about trust. Trust in judgement may be the most important.
    88. I know you will do what’s right: Encouraging words when your spouse faces a dilemma, known or unknown.
    89. You’re my rock: True story.
    90. I respect you so much: Continued respect is a must in any healthy marriage.
    91. You inspire me: You may surprise your spouse by uttering these words. It’s an awesome surprise.

    92. We have a great life together: You do!
    93. What can I do?: A heartfelt way of telling your spouse that you’re standing by.
    94. Come and sit with me: Take a few minutes to catch up. How’s life?
    95. Let’s do what you want: When you think ‘pizza and a movie night’ is getting old. (Or is it?)
    96. I’m so grateful for you: Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude!
    97. I love your lips: Say this and go immediately to
    98. I love your natural smell: This is romantic stuff.
    99. Let’s eat!: “Bon appetit!”
    100. Don’t be afraid: Seriously romantic words when uttered at the right time.
    101. I love you: And, of course, end every day of your marriage with the three magic words!

Final thoughts

With positive thinking, remember that it will take every bit of yourself to accomplish all these things to make your marriage a success.

However, your efforts will be worth it when you’re doing this for the great love of your life.

The post 101 Things to Never Stop Saying in Your Marriage appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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5 Reasons Narcissists Have a Hard Time With Intimate Relationships

“The basic framework of the study compared grandiose narcissists to chocolate cake: In the short run, you enjoy all that deliciousness, but later you start to regret having eaten it, due to the extra calories you’ve consumed.” – Susan Krauss-Whitbourne, PhD

What is narcissism?

Narcissism, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), is defined as a strong sense of “grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration.” People diagnosed with NPD are often defined as arrogant, demanding, manipulative, and self-centered.

Narcissists need to feel a certain level of power or superiority over people. In what can only be defined as a shallow “social circle,” narcissists only interact with people they think are gifted or unique.

The interesting thing is that narcissists give off an aura of extreme self-confidence – a trait that actually draws some people to them; however, this projection is often illusionary. They’re actually quite fragile people. Under normal circumstances, this fragility would be a source of sympathy. Others may go out of their way to help you.

But any relationship with a narcissist is not a normal circumstance. Narcissists will take advantage of any kind person’s act. Worse, they will see a person’s kindness as an act of weakness – like a great white shark that detects blood in the water.

Welcome to a narcissist’s world.

Narcissists & Relationships

It goes without saying that a true narcissist cannot have – and doesn’t really want – an intimate relationship.

Here’s why:

1. They do not trust others

In an intimate relationship, both partners become vulnerable, and vulnerability requires trust. Well, how can someone with NPD trust, then? They can’t.

Narcissists, though emotionally stunted, can be as intelligent as their counterparts. As such, they logically comprehend the relationship between trust and vulnerability. Therefore, they will not commit to an actual relationship.

They will, however, enter into a one-sided “relationship” with plans for exploitation. Weakness, vulnerability, and trust are not recognizable to the narcissistic brain.

2. They’re always looking for angles

Getting back to that superiority/non-vulnerability thing. In order to temporarily feed their insatiable hunger for dominance, the narcissist will victimize their partner. They won’t give it a second’s thought.

This is arguably the most heart-wrenching element of having a narcissistic partner. They’ll give only to take away – including affection, love, tenderness, and devotion. Nothing is real.

The bottom line: when love appears, there is never “just because.” They want something – not someone.

3. They’re prone to abusive behavior

The findings of a Kent State University research study states that “the anger, hostility, and short fuse that accompany a man’s narcissism tend to be directed toward straight women,” adding that “Narcissistic men are also more likely to commit domestic violence because of their egocentrism and lack of empathy…”

While the focus of this particular study is the rate of abuse at the hands of male narcissists, females also commit acts of domestic violence, albeit at a much lower rate (25 percent and 14 percent, respectively.)

It’s important to remember that most men (and women) who abuse their partners are not narcissistic. Nevertheless, the odds of committing abuse – physical, psychological, and verbal – are higher when in a relationship with a narcissist.

4. There is no “us”

Peg Streep answers, in Psychology Today, the question “Can a narcissist become more empathetic?”

Unsurprisingly, Streep doesn’t issue an affirmative response: “The narcissist’s lack of empathy is key to understanding why, when you’re with one, there’s a real sense in which he or she isn’t ‘with’ you at all. Without empathy, a person remains more or less encased in plastic, unmoved by the feelings or plight of others – even supposedly close others – on both a cognitive and emotional level.” (Emphasis mine)

Empathy is a pre-requisite (as is vulnerability and trust) in a relationship. Most experiments that have studied the narcissism/relationship correlation have found narcissists to be incapable.

5. It’s (probably) impossible

In the play A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Shakespeare writes “The course of true love never did run smooth.”

In the grasps of a narcissist, the relationship will never have true love and will never run smooth. Any and all displays of affection are a means to an end – and the end is always determined by the narcissist.

One may believe they are on “the course” of true love regardless of the narcissist’s obvious and unabashed displays of manipulation, distrust, abuse, and overdominance.

In closing

I wanted to emphasize that the underlying purpose of this article is to educate people (for whatever reason they see fit) of the devastation caused by narcissists. Something that is strongly felt by the people who love/loved them.

It is out of respect for humanity and science that we parenthesize the word probably in #5. Most psychologists, psychiatrists, and other mental health experts admit the uncertainties surrounding the origins of the narcissistic mindset. As such, treatments to correct the illness are lacking.

Mental illness is never the fault of the victim. Recognizing the illness and seeking help is, however. This fundamental truth is part of what makes narcissism incredibly enigmatic and frustrating. Anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other mental health problems, if not curable, are at least controllable. Narcissistic people have no such (tangible) options. (Regardless of their willingness or unwillingness to seek help. Most research points to the latter.)

Human beings, regardless of what they’ve done, how they live, or what they think, will always be people. To treat anyone as anything less than human is wrong.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

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Neurologist Explains Why Physical Touch Is Important In Treatment

In this current world where people are more physically separated from each other yet capable of being digitally connected, the benefits of receiving a comforting touch from someone may be forgotten.

Science has shown how essential touch is to a child’s development. It helps them develop a bond with caretakers or family members as well as receive reassurance that events around them are safe. One of our first forms of communication is through touch and it is an international language.

Touch isn’t just important to babies or children. Adults need it, too. It has been shown to help reduce pain, create a more calming mindset, provide comfort, relieve stress, and more. For many of us, it is instinctual. If we see someone we know who is upset, we may instantly go up to them and put our arm around their shoulders, give them a hug, or just touch their arm.

The benefits of touch are not limited to humans. Animals have displayed a need for touch. When we pet an animal, there is also a positive physiological reaction.

Doctors can also touch appropriately when they are giving particularly difficult news to their patients. This not only comforts the patient but also comforts the doctor. A neurologist has expressed that hugging has proven to be so important in treatment as well.

Touch and Human Development

Most of us are familiar with the importance of touching a newborn. For most parents, it is instinctual to hold and rock their baby, and to touch baby’s hands. For that matter, many women feel compelled to hold others’ babies as well.

The sense of touch is one of the earliest to develop. It starts in the womb. In 2013, a study was released claiming that fetuses begin preparing for the sensation of touch through self-touch of the lower face and mouth. It was believed that this self-touch was an instinctual way of developing the brain to prepare for social interaction, self-soothing, and feeding.

A fetus in the third trimester responds to the mother caressing her stomach by attempting to explore from within. Simultaneously, the fetus’ self-touch decreases at this time.

Sixty-five percent of face-to-face communication between mothers and their baby consists of communication through touch. This touching provides an immediate decrease in stress for them both. Gentle stroking was found to cause babies to smile more often than merely laying a still hand on the infant. Babies as young as nine months showed a decrease in heart rate and more engagement when experiencing touching. Coincidently, parents instinctively touch their babies at a speed, or rate, that is the most pleasurable to the infant.

From infancy through childhood and into adulthood, touch has proven to provide several development milestones essential for thriving:

  • Ability for infants to communicate with their parents or caregiver
  • Ability for infants to bond
  • Teaches toddlers how to stabilize their bodies when learning to walk
  • Teaches positive emotions
  • More likely to delay immediate gratification
  • Increases on-task behavior even by teachers or instructors
  • Lessens aggressive behavior and reduces stress
  • Increases ability to learn a language
  • Supports social engagement
  • Increases body awareness and ownership
  • Aids sense of self
  • Helps with healthy weight gain and growth in infants
  • Builds cooperative relationships

A decrease or lack of touching has shown to create:

  • More aggressive behavior
  • An inability to soothe oneself
  • Unexplained pain
  • Slower weight gain and growth in infants
  • A high sensitivity to touch that makes it unpleasant (such as in autism)
  • A higher tendency toward anorexia or anorexia bulimia
  • Lack of social skills
  • Decrease in communication or language abilities

Types of Touch

There are two types of touch currently recognized.

The first is Discriminatory touch. This is the touch we use to figure out what coins we have in our pocket, if that is our keys that fell in the sofa cushions, etc. It is the sense of touch that tells us the pressure, texture, shape, etc. of an object. This sense is all about tactile sensations.

The second has been called Affective touch or social and emotional touch. It senses slow strokes and pleasure. Both types of touch are recognized by neurons in the skin and create responses in the brain. Affective touch, however, is the only one that not only lights up the portion of your brain that recognizes touch, but also lights up the insular cortex. The insular cortex is part of the limbic system and is responsible for processing emotions.

Affective touching has only recently been studied. The actual neurons responsible for affective touch have only just been discovered. They were first discovered in cats in 1939, but not in humans until the 1990s. These neurons are only found in “hairy” skin, such as your forearms, legs, and back. In comparison, Glaborous skin refers to the palms of your hands and sole of your feet.

Touch as Therapy

As you can see, there are several benefits to touch for human growth and maturity physically, mentally and emotionally. Therefore, it stands to reason that using it as a form of therapy would be considered and researched. Various forms of touch therapy have been studied recently – including massage, acupuncture, acupressure, chiropractic, and light hand therapy or Reiki.

Massage Therapy

This form of therapy was founded by Tiffany Fields Ph.D. to reduce pain in pregnant women and aid in prenatal depression for the women and spouses. She has even discovered that children with autism respond very well and enjoy massages performed by a parent or a therapist.

Further research has shown that there was more social activation in the brain of autistic children upon slower strokes. It has been shown to help with social abilities and communication. Massage therapy can further help children with autism who suffer from muscle spasms and social anxiety; it helps to decrease seizures, aid in sleep, and act as a great booster for other therapies.

Studies on Alzheimer’s patients have shown massage helps them to relax, emotionally connect with others, and decrease their depression.

Other studies have shown that massage can improve stiffness, pain, range of motion, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, and rheumatoid arthritis.

Acupuncture and Acupressure

Two related forms of touch therapy are acupuncture and acupressure. Acupuncture is a traditional Chinese medicine whose goal is to correct imbalances in the flow of life energy (chi or qi). It involves inserting fine needles into specific points on the body. Acupressure has the same goal but uses gentle yet deep hand pressure instead.

In 2012, a study detailed results of 29 high-quality acupuncture studies encompassing nearly 18,000 patients. They found acupuncture to relieve pain in several chronic conditions, including osteoarthritis. Another study verified this finding and added that acupuncture excelled at relieving pain associated with osteoarthritis in the knee above standard care or exercise.

Chiropractic therapy

This form of therapy has gained popularity in America, with about 60% of Americans believing it to relieve neck and back pain. Chiropractic care is not limited to the neck and back, however. It can adjust wrongly aligned joints and improve the communication of the spine and the nervous system.

Healthcare Research and Quality issued a report in 2010 stating that they found chiropractic care as effective as medication for lower back pain unless you have an active inflammation, fused spine, or osteoporosis in the spine or neck. In the same year, Britain released a study and additionally found chiropractic therapy effective for acute and chronic lower back pain, neck pain, and knee pain associated with osteoarthritis.


Also called light touch therapy, is a Japanese form of therapy. It is believed that healing energy can be transmitted from the therapist to the patient to relieve stress and disease.

Reiki is just starting to gain popularity in America; other than claims from the general public, studies have proven to be too small. Those who use Reiki speak of it helping to reduce pain, anxiety, depression, and aid with sleep.

Doctors and touch therapy

Therapeutic touch is being practiced by nurses, occupational therapists, physical therapists, and other medical professionals.

Dr. Ilene Ruhoy Ph.D., M.D, is a neurologist and speaks of the importance of using touch such as hugging for her patients and their families. She may choose to give her patients a hug as a greeting or upon the end of the appointment. She may touch their arm or hand when giving them difficult news. Additionally, she understands the impact of both communicating compassion and support and giving stress-relieving benefits of touch to her patients and their families. She states that all you need to do to connect with a person and reap the rewards of touch is:

  • Hug your friends or family 3 – 5 seconds longer than usual.
  • Touch someone who is suffering.
  • Hold hands with your partner, child, or friend.

Final Thoughts on Why Hugging Is Important

It is sad that touch today is viewed with so much suspicion. As many positive benefits as appropriate touching can have, unwanted or aggressive touching can leave devastating consequences.

Touching is not just beneficial in its sexual form but in many of the simpler ways: touching a hand, shoulder, forearm, giving a hug, an arm around the shoulder, and other small gestures of contact. It goes without saying that you need to read the body language and listen to the recipient of the touching to ensure that they are okay with you specifically touching them. Also, respect where on the body they feel comfortable with as far as touching. This holds true for medical or therapeutic professionals as well.

It is human instinct to want to physically show connection, happiness, comfort, and support to our friends and family. The wide range of benefits go beyond the major therapeutic benefits and include decreasing anxiety, stress, depression, and high blood pressure, and can encourage one to feel positive about themselves and life in general.

The great thing about appropriate touch is that the giver receives the benefits as well. So, go out today and hug someone!

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8 Signs of a Successful Life (Without Being Rich or Famous)


If we only knew. If we only knew how happiness works. That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? So many of us continue to ask the question, “What would make me happy?” Of course, by asking the question, you inevitably proceed to brainstorm potential answers. Is it family? Is it status? Fame? Education? Income? A nice car? A big house? Being successful? What on earth is it?

Here’s the first (bonus!) sign of a successful life right out of the gate: you are happy. Success IS happiness. Happiness IS success. But because this is an article and not a platitude, we’ll dig a little deeper.

Again, if you are successful, you will have a happy life. If you are happy, you already have a successful life. For those who don’t fit into one of these two groups, there is hope. If you take the time to define success – and what that word means to you, you’ll have a happy life. Take note of the keywords in the preceding sentence: if, you, define. Let’s provide some context to those three words.

IF: Not everyone contemplates their success – or lack thereof. Those who don’t will find both success and happiness to be elusive.

YOU: Success is highly individualistic. It’s clear that society doesn’t know a darned thing about it. How many people are living in abject misery despite their “success”?

DEFINE: Once you’ve decided that success is worth considering, you must, of course, define what it means.

In this article, we’re going to talk about eight signs of a successful life that have nothing to do with money. First, let us talk about what success is not.

Success Isn’t What Most People Think

Here’s a question worth contemplating: Who or what has shaped how you view success? If you’re like most people, you need to give this question plenty of thought; even then, you may not come up with anything concrete.

There are a few reasons why answering the above question may prove elusive. Here are some:

– Subconscious programming: We must account for the first 6-7 years of life when a child is “taking in” the massive world around them. Of course, these memories are buried way down.

– Lack of input: If you’ve never grasped the notion of success and what it entails, your brain won’t produce much more than a surface, knee-jerk response – if any response at all.

– Fear or bias: Your situation in life, if it doesn’t match up well with your definition of success, may cause your brain to repress a response out of fear. We must also account for any cognitive bias(es), known or unknown.

Many (most?) of those who do manage to come up with a response to the question “Who or what has shaped how you view success?” probably came up with the same ole’ stuff: prestige, status, money, career, and so forth.

You can’t blame yourself for thinking this way. You were bamboozled. Hoodwinked into buying a pipe dream.

You may be thinking “Yeah…that’s what people who don’t have (x, y, and z) say!” This is a normal response – and it even has an element of truth (more on this later). But it doesn’t come close to telling the whole story.

What Society Says: A Short Interlude

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” – Jim Carrey (source)

How have many rich, famous, “successful” people turned out to be living in abject misery? I’m sure that these folks thought that attention, status, and/or money would bring them that elusive happiness.

What the hell does “society” know about success much less happiness?

What the Science Says

“…numerous studies have shown that happy people tend to be successful across multiple domains … including work performance, health, income, friendship, and even marriage. … happiness is associated with and precedes … successful outcomes.” – Lyubomirsky, et al (emphases added).

Let’s unpack the above two findings from multiple studies which span years of research:

  1. Researchers concur that happy and successful individuals tend to be happy successful across a wide variety of domains – health and relationships among them.
  2. The happiness and well-being of successful individuals usually come before – and, arguably, as a prerequisite of – most success, they’ve had.

Perhaps the biggest takeaway from the years of study, including in the Positive Psychology arena, is that happiness and success are mutually inclusive. We established this mutuality in the earlier parts of the article – and it’s proven again here.

Let’s get a bit more specific with it.

Here are eight signs of a successful life that have nothing to do with cash:

1. Your Success Is Self-Defined

“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” – Herman Melville (source)

It’s worth repeating: society doesn’t know everything about success. Constructing a framework of success based solely on societal influences is a recipe for an unhappy – and thus, unsuccessful – life.

Some people are fortunate enough to know exactly what comprises a successful life for them (lucky, indeed!). For the rest of us, finding our own success comes through a period for introspection and, of course, trial and error.

2. Failure Doesn’t Stop You

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill (source)

One of the most frustrating life callings is that of a creative visionary – an “inventor.” In this respect, Thomas Edison is perhaps the most famous, accomplished inventor in history. It is safe to assume that Edison’s relentlessness in the face of failure is what propelled him to the history books. Indeed, these failures may have been the catalyst of Edison’s quote, “Success is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.”

3. You Do No Harm

“Primum non nocerum.” (First, do no harm.) – Hippocrates (source)

Wall Street bankers – and the institutions they work for – can be considered by many some of the most injurious entities on the planet. These people are mostly to blame for the 2008 housing crisis leading to the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression.

Yet, if you were to ask someone passing by if they consider these folks to be successful, far more people would answer in the affirmative. How can one be successful at the expense of so many? This question begs contemplation.

4. You Enjoy Your Work

“Do what you love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” – Unknown

People who love their “job” are some of the most grateful people alive. Far too many of us slog through our workday, counting down the minutes until we can go home. If, at the present time, you find yourself in a less-than-desirable position, you can become more successful by following the next sign of successful people (so read on!).

5. You Manage Your Attention

“If you are interested in something, you will focus on it, and if you focus attention on anything, it is likely you will become interested in it.” – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (source)

First, re-read the above quote. Write it down. Commit it to memory. It’s that powerful. Moving on…

Attention is where you choose to place the spotlight of awareness. Prolonged effective management of attention leads to states of concentration, or the ability to focus exclusively on a chosen target, object, event, or situation. When you actively manage attention, you not only deepen your concentration abilities but become more resistant to autopilot mode. This maturing of your attention and concentration will drastically improve your life situation.

6. You’re Selfless

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi exemplifies the interrelationship between selflessness, service, and success. He may not have had a bunch of money, but he didn’t need it. He was still able, through the power of his words and character, to unite a country in the fight against racial discrimination and help end the British occupation of India.

Selflessness requires continuous intense effort as well as firm belief in a cause bigger than themselves. It’s no surprise, then, that we find some of the most selfless, successful individuals in fields like teaching, counseling, and government.

7. You Meditate

“Some research shows that the way meditation helps your brain to work better is consistent, staying with you not just when you’re sitting on a cushion with your eyes closed, but all the time.” – Annie Mueller, Lifehack (source)

Many of the problems that we have, including those that obstruct our happiness and success, are caused by a lack of awareness. On average, the human mind wanders about half of the time. Multiple studies link mind-wandering with unhappiness (thus, unsuccess.)

Most meditation techniques are rooted in mindfulness – the ability to recognize a wandering mind and bring it back to the focus of attention. Many, perhaps most, people who call themselves successful have a regular meditation or mindfulness practice because it trains the mind to become much less responsive and habitual.

8. You Don’t Try So Hard

“Don’t try.” – Charles Bukowski, Jr.

Make an effort. Have goals. But don’t go crazy trying to achieve them. While you may end up a “success” in the eyes of the world, you’ll bring disappointment to the only person whose opinion truly matters: yourself.

The end.

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