Experts

Marriage is a serious commitment. Before leaping into this territory, you need to make sure that you and your partner are ready before getting married.

But how can you be assured that you’re on the right track? What can you do before saying your vows that will help you determine whether marriage is a good idea?

Relationship experts reveal four things couples should do before getting married.

1.    Have Serious Conversations

The significance of knowing what you are getting into before tying the knot cannot be overstated. You and your partner need to practice positive communication to make sure you’re moving forward on the same page. Here are some things you should talk about:

·         Money

No matter how much positive thinking you have as a couple, the fact remains that, scientifically speaking, financial problems are a chief cause of divorce and have been for decades. You and your partner need to talk at length about economic plans and goals, including ones for the future that seems unimportant to you right now, says Love Inc. founder Brittny Drye. Talk about 401Ks, financial responsibilities, bill-splitting, savings, the division of living expenses, retirement… absolutely everything related to money you can think of.

·         Names

Who’s taking whose name in the marriage, if anyone is? Are you hyphenating? Going for a traditional approach? Not changing any name at all? This topic is an important thing to decide on, according to Emily Sullivan Events’ titular founder Emily Sullivan. Think about your children and the last name they will inherit. What implications may arise for them and your current extended families?

·         Kids

Whether or not you desire to have children – and how many – is a huge point of discussion that needs to be cleared from the beginning. This is a huge step that will significantly affect the direction of your life, says SQN Events owner and event director Beth Bernstein. It involves personal responsibility and financial and emotional commitments. Most couples consider a clash in the desire to have children a deal-breaker.

2.    Open Up Completely

It’s fair to not tell a partner everything early in a relationship. When you’re planning to move forward into marriage though, being open about yourself is crucial. After all, there is little that you can hide from a spouse without it being a severe cause for concern or a breach of trust. Here are some ways to open up to a partner before getting married:

·         Talk About Your Family And Childhood

For some, childhood and family is a fun thing to talk about. For others, it’s a little bit more of a sensitive topic. Regardless of your past, it’s a good idea to talk about it with your partner and listen to their story, too. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Becky Whetstone, Ph.D., consider this crucial in understanding your partner for a more substantial relationship.

·         Reveal Bad Habits

No one is perfect. When you first begin dating, it’s easy to try and pretend that you are, or at least try and soften the reality of your bad habits. Hopefully, that isn’t something you did. But even if you did try and conceal your worst sides before, the chances are that your partner already knows about them to some extent. Be open about the person you are, talk about your struggles and areas you need to improve on and ask your partner to share their own. You need to love each other exactly as you are, without any desire to change the other!

·         Know What The Other’s Values Are

The goal when you marry someone is to spend the rest of your life with them. Though it is possible for people to stay happy and in love when their values differ, it’s still a good idea that you do know if your values are at odds before making these long-term commitments. Get all beliefs, opinions, and potentially controversial thoughts out in the open before tying the knot. This way, you’ll know whether any are deal-breakers, says Drye. If they aren’t deal-breakers, you can then talk about how to handle conflict in those areas and how to respect each other’s values.

·         Discuss Goals

You and your partner probably have your own goals in life. By now, if you’re considering marriage, you should both already know about each other’s plans to some degree. Ideally, your continued partnership will allow both of you to continue to follow your dreams. You shouldn’t give up on those dreams for anyone, and neither should your partner! This is an excellent chat to see if your lives are heading in the same direction.

3.    Do Stressful Cooperative Tasks

What is marriage but a long-term cooperative task? (Yes, we know it’s more complicated than that, but the concept stands!) If you and your partner can’t handle cooperation under challenging times, you may not yet be ready for marriage. Here are some ideas for testing the waters:

·         Learn Together

Sure, it’s not exactly very stressful, but the process of learning together can give you a shared experience that will make you stronger in the long run. You’ll have a bit of fun, learn to support each other as you gather new information, and figure out how you handle success and failure both independently and as a couple. So try attending a class, lecture, workshop, or talk about something you’re both interested in and see where you go from there!

·         Do Some Grocery Shopping

Have you ever seen couples hashing out a big tiff in the middle of a grocery store? You do not want to become a party to that behavior one day! A great way to test if you work in a positive way is to try doing some shopping together, especially of the kind that involves shared purchases. Food shopping and buying necessities for your home is an excellent way to gauge your compatibility on this scale. It’s not the most stressful thing in the world, but it can still be a challenge!

·         Go On A Trip

Traveling is fun, but no one can deny that things can get stressful and heated. Going on a trip with your partner will give you some fascinating insight into how you both deal with the stress of planning, being on time, and organizing, says So Eventful founder and CEO Marisa, Manna Ferrell. If you are unable to have a good time traveling with someone, you probably wouldn’t want to marry them, either.

·         Live Together

The person you truly are is never more apparent than when you’re at home. That’s why cohabitation is a great way to gauge whether or not you are truly compatible with a person, according to Drye. You’ll have to live with this person, their good and bad habits, and their housekeeping preferences, after all. This might be why 59% of adults between the ages of 18 and 44 have lived with a partner before marriage, and an impressive 85% of them have positive beliefs about premarital cohabitation.

Of course, whether you want to do this or not may differ by your belief system and personal values. A similar option would be having regular sleepovers with your partner – whether intimacy is involved or not – to get a similar glimpse into what life with them would be like.

4.    Get Through A Tough Time

Tough times are a standard part of any relationship. They will come and go throughout a marriage. What’s important is that you know you and your partner can overcome them. Here are some tough times that, if you iron out before marrying, point to a better chance of long-term relationship success:

·         Resolve A Big Fight

Fights are inevitable in a relationship. In fact, frequent arguments, when handled correctly and not done in excess, can actually be a sign of a healthy and positive relationship. This is because you learn to communicate, get through the tough times, and work through problems together, coming out stronger.

The key, then, is in learning to fight well, says marriage and family therapist John Amodeo, also an author. Do you speak to each other with honesty, openness, and respect during fights? Do you know when to step back and take time to breathe? Are you able to find workable solutions and fair compromises? You’ll have many fights in your “career” as a couple, so make sure you know how to work through them!

·         Learn To Deal With Fight Aftermaths

When fights are resolved, what’s the next step? Respect, as always. If you were in the wrong, learn to apologize. This proves to your partner that you respect them enough to put aside your pride. Similarly, you should also be able to rely on them to apologize when they are at fault. But what about situations where there’s no blame, but the end result is that you can’t agree? Be comfortable with sticking to your guns and letting your partner stick to theirs. It’s okay to agree to disagree!

·         Experience A Rut Of Intimacy

In an allosexual relationship, it’s typical for intimacy and libido to have its ups and downs, says marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers. But when a “down” period is prolonged, both parties can feel neglected, undesirable, and even rejected. That disappointment and hurt can build up over time into resentment.

Take the opportunity to talk about your expectations for intimacy, discuss how you can overcome your current plateau, and think of ways to spice things up just outside your usual comfort zone. Sure, it’s not necessary for you to go through this rut before getting married, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good practice for the fact that these ruts will crop up now and then in the future!

·         Be Apart

Being apart can be challenging for partners who have spent so much time together. The inability to see someone can make resolving arguments harder, and it also makes emotions run higher. You need much more positive thinking to stay strong together when you’re long-distance. We’re definitely not saying to intentionally force a long-distance relationship, but spending a bit of time away from one another is suitable for testing the strength of your relationship and uncovering co-dependency issues.

·         Hit A Rough Patch

Love is not always rainbows and butterflies. Hard times are a standard part of relationships. If you and your partner have never hit a rough patch, there’s a fair chance that you’ll struggle to overcome one that you do hit later on in a marriage. Learning to work through wrinkles with positive thinking, love, trust, and communication is very important, says Sheri. Overcoming these hurdles will show you how committed you are and how secure the relationship is as a whole.

Final Thoughts On Some Things Couples Should Do Before Getting Married

Each relationship is unique, but they all share the need for security, trust, respect, and love. By doing the aforementioned four things before getting married, you’ll know that your relationship is strong enough to thrive in the long-run.

Are you a forgetful person? Does your mind tend to discard lists, numbers, dates, names, or faces? Do you often forget appointments or pre-planned events? Have you sometimes found yourself merely not knowing what’s going on at any given time, despite knowing before? Today, we are sharing five easy ways to help you to improve your memory.

If you said yes to any of those, you might have a bad memory! Luckily, memory issues don’t have to be permanent, and you can learn to sharpen your mind and prevent cognitive problems. Here’s how experts reveal five simple ways to improve your memory.

1.    Learn Memory Techniques

There are a lot of different tips and tricks for memorizing certain things. Some of these tips and tricks might even expand into something that retain information long-term! If you’re looking to improve your memory, these techniques are the go-tos. Here are five of them:

·         Make Connections

Form connections between new information and information you already had. For example, if you are trying to remember your parking bay of H44, think about your friend, whose name starts with an H and is 44 years old. Connecting the new knowledge to something you already have memorized perfectly makes it much easier for you to remember it later. According to Mount Sinai School of Medicine assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and memory enhancement program founder Cynthia R. Green, Ph.D., who is also an author and the president of Memory Arts.

·         Simplify

It’s effortless for the brain to forget vast amounts of information that all come at you at once. Green recommends that you break down what you receive into manageable, smaller chunks of information that you can memorize one by one and put together later if needed.

·         Create Pictures or Movies

When you have something to remember, try to create a memory picture or a memory movie about it. For example, if you need to remember to buy five boxes of cake mix, imagine five cakes stacked precariously on top of each other. If you need to remember the name Rick, attach the person’s face to the image of Rick and Morty in your mind!

·         Review, Don’t Repeat

Reading the same thing over and over again doesn’t have a positive effect on how much information from it you retain. Instead, you want to review or “retrieve” the memory you have from the first reading if you want the memory to be long term. Memory researcher and University of Louisville professor Keith Lyle, Ph.D. recommends thinking about what you length at regular intervals, with the gaps increasing in size each time. This is much more likely to result in retention than simply relearning everything several times over.

·         Tell A Story

The storytelling technique involves taking a list of information and making them into a story, says Green. It’s the memory picture or memory movie technique expanded. For example, to remember the words “green, truck, violin, duck,” you might imagine a green truck driving by a duck playing the violin.

2.    Hack Your Memory

Hacking your memory isn’t as fancy as it sounds. It merely refers to the ability to use different actions and environmental factors to improve your memory in certain areas. Not sure what we mean? Here are some ideas:

·         Make Memory Spots

In your home, office, or other commonly frequented places, designate a particular spot as your memory spot. It’s where you will put all the things you typically forget, like your keys, your wallet, or your phone charger. It can take some getting used to, but Green suggests putting it into practice. Get used to putting items easily forgotten in these memory spots and visit those spots so you can check if you’ve forgotten anything. The next time you lose something, it’ll be waiting in that spot!

·         Exercise Your Brain

The brain needs to work out, just like the rest of the body, to stay healthy, says Gouras. Regular mental stimulation through puzzles, tests, and the act of learning new knowledge can help reduce cognitive decline’s effects. Over time, it will sharpen your memory and have positive impacts on brainpower. Think of it as a kind of mental training!

·         Write Things Down

Sure, technically, writing something down means you don’t have to remember it, but it’s an excellent way to practice building your memory. It ensures that you do remember what you have to do, letting you practice more memory retention in the future, says Lyle. The act of writing things can also make it easier for some people to commit things to memory – even more so than typing things out, according to studies!

3.    Cut Down On Some Foods

Did you know that certain foods can harm your memory? Through several components, these foods can damage the brain’s natural ability to remember things, often affecting parts of the brain permanently in the long run. Here are some food components to avoid:

·         Carbohydrates

Not all carbs are bad. The ones that can have a negative effect on your memory are the refined kinds. Think of white bread, white rice, white pasta, cereal, and baked goods. These all have a high glycemic index and are digested by the body at a swift rate, causing blood sugar spikes. These carbohydrates can all lead to an increased risk of cognitive function, including dementia and other forms of cognitive decline, according to studies.

·         Sugar

Added sugar has many downsides, but mostly it’s been linked to all sorts of chronic and life-threatening illnesses. Unfortunately, one of the conditions that it has been linked to is cognitive decline. Eating a lot of sugar can shrink the volume of your brain, especially the part responsible for short-term memory, according to research.

·         Cholesterol

High cholesterol levels can increase your risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease, especially at a younger age than typical. This is according to Weill Medical College professor of neurology and neuroscience and Fisher Center for Alzheimer’s Research adjunct professor Gunnar Gouras, MD. The consumption of statins, which can lower harmful cholesterol, has been linked in studies to a lower risk of Alzheimer’s development.

·         Alcohol

High alcohol consumption has been known to lead to many health problems, but binge drinking is especially worrying for the brain. This is because the natural neurotoxicity of alcohol can affect the brain’s hippocampus, which is responsible for many memory-related functions. The memory-shortening effects of alcohol are effective immediately when one becomes intoxicated, and excessively falling into a drunken state can be the cause for eventual permanent memory decline. It’s OK to have a drink once in a while, especially in a positive environment, but do so responsibly!

4.    Add More Of Some Foods

Just like you need to cut down on some consumables to improve your memory, there are some foods you need to add more of. Here are some that the experts recommend!

·         Eat A Mediterranean Diet

Mediterranean diets have been known for years as a memory-boosting, brain-protecting, heart-healthy eating plan. This is likely due to the types of foods involved and their rich vitamin, mineral, and nutritional component content. If possible, try to incorporate aspects of a Mediterranean diet into your daily meals, suggests research.

·         Take Enough B Vitamins

B12 and other B vitamins play a significant role in positive memory functions in the brain. A lack of them can even lead to cognitive decline. Green states that the older you get, the more complicated your body may find it to absorb dietary B vitamins. Make sure you’re getting enough folic acid, B6, and B12. If you need to, you may want to take a supplement, but talk to your doctor about it first!

·         Take Enough Vitamin E

Vitamin E is an antioxidant that fights against free radicals and works to break down fatty substances and cholesterol buildup. It may also help bring down inflammation. With all these factors combined, vitamin E can slow or prevent the onset of cognitive decline and brain issues caused by inflammation, promising more positive memory strength. According to Gouras, you should try to get around 400 IU of daily vitamin E.

·         Get Enough Fatty Acids

Omega-3 fatty acids, commonly found in fatty fish, fish oils, and healthy fat sources, are essential for many bodily functions. This includes cardiovascular health, positive thinking and mood, and even inflammation. On top of that, it has been found to be able to reduce mental decline. Most foods with lots of omega-3 fatty acids are thought to be brain foods for a reason, after all!

·         Stay Hydrated

The brain is full of water; in fact, 85% of it is just water alone! A lack of hydration can cause fatigue and brain fog, potentially affecting your memory in the long run with chronic dehydration. Make sure you’re drinking at least eight glasses of water daily and that you drink water as soon as you feel thirsty.

·         Try Some Ginkgo

Ginkgo is a herb that has been found to have scientific links to brain cell enrichment, meaning it can keep the mind healthy while boosting circulation throughout the body. Just make sure you consult a doctor before going through with supplementation!

5.    Manage Your Mental Health

Mental health and positive thinking can play a huge role in whether your memory stays sharp or not. Those who experience chronic or frequent anxiety and stress have a heightened level of the stress hormone cortisol in their body. A lot of cortisol production means the body goes into fight vs. flight mode, and this means directing energy to your body staying alive, not to more satisfactory brain function. Green explains that this pattern may affect the hippocampus, damage sleep ability, and even directly affect your ability to retain memories.

On top of that, did you know that depression and cognitive impairment have been linked by research? In fact, according to Grouras, many times, depression can be misdiagnosed as Alzheimer’s disease! Many people who are very depressed can completely forget some moments of their life.

If you think you are experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or chronic stress, seek mental health aid from a therapist, counselor, or similar qualified professional.

Final Thoughts On Some Simple Ways To Improve Your Memory

Memory problems can range from inconvenient to frightening. Luckily, you can learn tips, methods, and habits that will slowly improve your memory over time until you’re a sharp-minded machine! Of course, note that if you think that your memory problems are degenerative or severe, you should speak to a doctor for an opinion.

A microwave is such a convenient appliance. You can easily pop just about any food item into it, set a good time and temperature, and within just a few minutes or less. It’s warm and ready to consume. But can you put any food into a microwave? The answer, as it turns out, is no.

Certain foods, when microwaved, can produce catastrophic results. These results may affect your health, your safety, or even the lives of others! Here’s why you don’t use a microwave to reheat these 11 foods, as revealed by expert studies and official health warnings.

Eleven Foods Never To Reheat in Your Microwave

1.    Processed Meat

Processed meats aren’t healthy, to begin with, primarily because they’re packed with preservatives and all kinds of dubious chemicals. These preservatives are used to make them last longer, but they’ve never been good for health – and microwaving them makes them so much worse.

When you microwave these questionable substances, you may expose them to chemical changes – especially cholesterol oxidation. Here are some research papers detailing this information:

• “Cholesterol oxidation in meat products and its regulation by supplementing sodium nitrite and apple polyphenol before processing” in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry (2000). This study showed that microwaving processed meats is likely to result in several different chemical processes, including the oxidation of cholesterol. It also found some potential alternative preservative products that could prevent cholesterol oxidation and be more positive for health overall, though most processed meats do not use them even now.
• “Consequences of Microwave Heating and Frying on the Lipid Fraction of Chicken and Beef Patties” in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry (2003). This study found that frying chicken and beef patties can cause a 1.5 to 2.6-fold increment in cholesterol oxidation products. It sounds like a lot until you hear about microwaving them instead, which generates 5.3 to 6.1-fold increments!
• “Formation of cholesterol oxidation products (COPs) in animal products” in Food Control (2007). This study revealed that the products of cholesterol oxidation are likely to lead to disorders and diseases that can be life-threatening, including coronary heart disease.

2.    Fresh Mushrooms

The danger in microwaving fresh mushrooms doesn’t come from the process of microwaving itself, but from the context in which you may microwave them.

You see, fresh mushrooms are best consumed very shortly after preparation. Mushrooms have a lot of short-lived proteins that can go bad very quickly. If not eaten immediately, they can harbor harmful bacteria and start to taste pretty terrible.

It’s recommended that you only store fresh mushrooms in a refrigerator for up to a maximum of 24 hours before eating them. Anything beyond that, and it’s safer to toss them out. When reheating, make sure they’re heated to 158 degrees, at least.

Luckily, only fresh mushrooms need this extra-careful treatment. Mushrooms that can be kept and microwaved safely include:

3.    Water

Superheating is an event where certain parts of water can rise to temperatures above water’s boiling point, meaning higher than 212 degrees Fahrenheit. When you microwave water, certain “hot spots” can develop where the water becomes superheated.

When you move a cup of superheated water, even to take it out of the microwave or tilt it to take a drink, an eruption can occur from within it. This eruption splashes out scalding water that can land on you as you move, causing severe burns. In fact, the FDA has a warning about overheating water and recommends the following more positive ways of using your microwave for water:

• Always read the instruction manual of your microwave often and follow its recommendations and precautionary measures, especially in regards to heating times.
• Make sure you don’t use too much time when heating water, or any other kind of liquid, in a microwave.
• Learn to heat your water to the exact desired temperature (never close to the point of boiling) and familiarize yourself with the setting that gets you safe but satisfactory results.

4.    Rice

Rice contains a surprising amount of toxic bacteria known as Bacillus cereus. Even when the bacteria are killed by heat, a lot of its produced spores will remain, according to research. This presence can wreak havoc on the digestive system. This is why rice left at room temperature after being microwaved winds up giving its consumers food poisoning or “fried rice syndrome.”

Why does this happen? It has to do with the warm, humid environment of the rice that is a fertile breeding space for microorganisms. You can avoid this bacterial haven by heating rice to an almost boiling point, then keeping it warm at a minimum of 140 degrees Fahrenheit. This will kill the bacteria and keep its spores from thriving.

5.    Eggs

Eggs are, in a way, self-contained. They are protected by their shell or the thin membrane around them, so when they’re microwaved, a lot of heat can get trapped inside.

This is exacerbated by the moisture that naturally exists inside an egg. When you microwave it, that moisture is heated and causes a high buildup of steam. It almost becomes a sort of pressure cooker in there! This can happen even if the eggs are:

• Raw
• Cooked
• Shelled
• Unshelled

All that steam buildup can, over time, result in the egg exploding in your microwave, leaving you quite the mess to clean up. Worse still, this explosion may not occur in the microwave – but outside. This means an egg can explode in your hand or your mouth, spilling scorching egg on you and even burning you.

If you need to microwave an egg, cut it up first. Still, it’s a better idea not to microwave any eggs at all!

6.    Leafy Green Vegetables

A lot of leafy green vegetables contain nitrates, which are very healthy typically. But when heated in a microwave, nitrates have the chance of turning into nitrosamines. Nitrosamines are organic compounds that some research indicates are carcinogenic. Some examples of leafy greens that contain nitrates are:

It’s worth noting that it’s not just these types of green, leafy veggies that run the risk of converting their nitrates into something more dangerous. Beets also shouldn’t be microwaved for this same reason. For both them and leafy greens, you’ll want to reheat them on the stove for safety’s sake.

7.    Fruit

There is minimal benefit to microwaving fruit. Most people agree that fruit tastes best cool, cold, or at least at room temperature, and warm fruit can sound pretty unappetizing. But even if you’re in the rare, somewhat odd minority that enjoys the occasional hot fruit, you shouldn’t take to the microwave for that job.

Take, for example, grapes. Some people have a false idea that microwaving them may produce raisins, which it absolutely will not. Instead, the microwaving of two grapes can lead to a significant amount of plasma creation. That plasma is so powerful and substantial that it can melt a hole in plastic dishes or containers, which doesn’t do very positively for your house, microwave, or smell.

Even if plasma doesn’t ruin your bowls or plates, microwaving whole fruit is risky in general because microwaving eggs is risky. Their skin can trap a lot of heat and steam thanks to the added moisture, so biting into that microwaved fruit could burn your tongue badly. The fruit may also explode while you microwave them.

8.    Carrots

Do you know what arcing is? It’s what happens when a microwave begins producing sparks as it reacts to something metallic. Nothing quite saps away positive thinking like the fear of your microwave setting your house ablaze!

Carrots are dangerous to the microwave because many of them contain leftover minerals from the soil. This presence can cause sparking, even when there doesn’t look like there’s any reason for this. It’s OK to try microwaving cut-up carrots, but the second there’s a sign of arcing, stop immediately.

9.    Hot Peppers

Not all peppers are safe to microwave thanks to their crucial ingredient, capsaicin. Capsaicin is a chemical that is responsible for the spicy punch that peppers packed. When you use a microwave to heat peppers, what you’re doing is releasing that capsaicin into the air.

As an airborne chemical, capsaicin can cause a lot of grief. It might burn your eyes or other sensitive parts of your body, and worse still, it won’t just be you who suffers! In 2016, an entire building in New York had to be evacuated after someone microwaved a pepper and ruined everyone’s day ( plus their positive thinking). Residents started experiencing breathing difficulties and coughing fits due to the capsaicin. So save your neighbors, and don’t reheat hot peppers!

10. Baby Formula

It’s not uncommon for breastfeeding parents to decide to pump breastmilk and freeze it for use later. This is a great idea and perfectly fine to do, but make sure you don’t reheat that milk in a microwave!

You’ve probably noticed by now that microwaves don’t evenly heat food, even when that food is spread across a plate. This results in “hot spots” that may develop in a bottle of breastmilk, with uneven temperatures throughout. A baby drinking from the bottle may then accidentally hit a “hot spot” and find their mouth and throat burning up!

This doesn’t even take into account the possible carcinogenic consequences of heating a material like plastic. This is probably why the FDA has their guidelines on reheating breastmilk for positive results. Heat a bottle of milk in a bowl of hot water or reheat it on the stove in a pot.

11. Potatoes

Botulinum is a dangerous bacteria found in potatoes. At room temperature, C. botulinum can survive after a spell of heat from the microwave and affect those who consume it with botulism. It doesn’t sound very likely, but there is a lot that toxic bacteria can do. In fact, some experts refer to C. botulinum as the “most poisonous poison.”

It’s safe to cook potatoes from scratch with a microwave – if you possess the know-how. But for reheating potatoes, stick to using a baking sheet and an oven to do the job. Be sure not to use aluminum foil – that protects the bacteria!

Final Thoughts On Some Foods That Experts Recommend To Never Reheat In A Microwave

We’re all grateful for how much easier a microwave can make food preparation, especially for a busy go-getter. But there’s wisdom in knowing what can and can’t be stuffed into this machine. Be sure that you don’t reheat any of the foods we’ve discussed, and you’ll be just fine!

Do you like to take a morning shower, or do you prefer to clean up before going to bed? Whether you choose to cleanse your body in the morning or night doesn’t matter. It’s about getting clean. So, which method is the best?

It’s an age-old debate that probably has been going on since the cavemen were rinsing off from their day in basins. Even with all the advancements in science and health, there is still no clear answer to this dilemma. Indeed, we might never have a clear answer–just personal choice. However, you can use science and studies to make an educated decision on when you should shower.

Of course, you must also consider your personal preference as there is no right or wrong answer. Some might say that the answer is just as murky as used bathwater. If you prefer to shower at night, then your theory is that it’s good to wash away all the dirt and grime from the day before you get into bed.

Those individuals who prefer a morning shower like to wash away all the sweat and debris from the night. Since some people sweat heavily during their sleep, it’s understandable how washing away the nighttime and having a fresh start to the day is the way to go.

The sad fact is that you can take a shower but still spread germs and such around on your sheets. It’s common for humans to sweat at night, and all the bacteria that you collect and generate throughout the night are on your sheets and your body. The germs are just sitting on your skin, waiting to make you smell and feel gross during the day.

Advantages of a Morning Shower

The argument for a morning shower is that you start your day fresh and clean, putting you in the right mindset for success. A shower is refreshing and awakens you so that you can be more alert for your day. If you need a creative boost to get you going, or you have a hard time waking up in the am, then a morning shower may be a better choice for you.

Everyone experiences sleep inertia, and it can last for 15-30 minutes after you rise. Your body is starting to wake up and get all your systems going. It can take some people longer than others. A morning shower can help you shake off that sleep inertia and step out on the right note.

Did you know that many people plan their day and deliberate about their problems while letting the hot water pour over their bodies? It’s in these moments that you have a few minutes to ponder your life, and what better time than when you’re lathering up your soap and cleansing away dirt and grime from your rest. Might as well wash a little bit of negativity down the drain too.

A scientific argument for a morning shower is that the hot water activates your “alpha brain waves,” which are known for giving you clarity about your life and situations that you must handle. Some believe it’s like the zoning out experience that you have when you’re doing exercise or meditations as it can get your creative juices flowing.

Advantages of an Evening Shower

Now, if you prefer to wash off the bacteria from the day in a night shower, then you couldn’t imagine changing your bath schedule. Some argue that since you’re rolling around on the sheets, the germs are spread on the surface rather than piling on top of your skin. Additionally, taking a shower before you go to sleep can help set the mood for a good night of rest.

A study showed that if you take a bath about an hour and a half before you go to bed, it will improve your ability to sleep well during the night. Though it was specifically looking at baths, their investigation focused on the warmth felt from the waters, so it can easily apply to a bath or a shower, either one.

Did you know that your body cools down at night, and your circadian rhythm or internal body clock winds down so that you can drift into dreamland? When you take a shower, it raises your body’s temperature ever so slightly, which kickstarts your body into going into the cooling down process. So, it makes it easier for you to sleep, which is ideal for those who suffer from sleep disturbances like insomnia.

What About Baths?

What if you could care less about the time of day you shower but prefer to take a bath and soak away your troubles? Some argue that baths are nasty because you’re sitting in your bacteria and grime washed from your body. Others don’t care because the warm water eases their tired muscles and feels invigorating.

• Old School Bathhouses

Did you know that bathing has been popular since the Middle Ages? While people weren’t as lucky as a civilization today to have indoor plumbing and tubs, they would gather in bathhouses spread throughout the cities. The Egyptians were the ones who revered the bath as they were fanatics about keeping their bodies clean.

Soap was invented around 2,000 B.C., and before this time, people would use things like olive oil to cleanse their skin and scrape it off with a unique tool. You’ve probably heard of The Roman bathhouses as they were made famous by the people in Italy.

A bath in one of these houses was not just an opportunity to get clean, but it was also a reason to come together and assemble. These baths had a cold room that they called a frigidarium. You started here to get your body ready for the tub. Then you went to the warm room, aka the Tepidarium.

The last room was the hot room or the caldarium. The final step in the cleansing process was to take a lovely, cool dip in the swimming pool. Remember, this was before the days of chlorine and other pool cleansers, so can you imagine the bacteria in those pools?

The churches deemed these sinful places. Thus, church leaders stepped in during the 16th century to begin closing these places, which became obsolete shortly after.

They were concerned about the number of children being born from sinful acts in these houses as well as people’s desire to spend more time congregating in the bathhouse and less time in service. Thankfully, history was already moving beyond the need for public bathing as more families installed bathrooms in their homes.

• The Revolution of the Bathroom

By the 14th century, people had begun to build tub structures from trees to put in their bedrooms. The Palace of Westminster was the first official residence to receive a bathroom, and Edward III ordered it. The baths were mostly with cold water unless they took the time to heat a cauldron.

During the 19th century, everything changed. By the late 1800s, bathrooms were commonplace in households, and residents enjoyed taking a warm bath thanks to Benjamin Maughan and his invention of the gas water heater. Baths became more a part of a daily ritual as people didn’t need to travel to a bathhouse or heat water. In this century, toothpaste, paper towels, soap, and other toiletries also became commonplace.

History is fascinating to learn, and you can now see where your daily bathing habits originated. But, it still doesn’t answer whether it’s clean to take a bath. The truth is you’re not getting clean, even if you use soap, by sitting in a tub of water.

Your body sheds about 30,000 skin cells every hour, which is a significant amount. So not only do you have all the filth you wash from your body, but you also have tons of dead skin cells floating around in your water. How can you possibly get clean when you’re sitting in a tub full of bacteria?

If you like to take a bath for the therapeutic benefits that it brings, then rinse off in a quick shower afterward. There are about 200,000 bacteria per square inch in your tub. Thus, it’s easy to see that you’re not doing yourself a favor by soaking to get clean.

Final Thoughts on the Night Versus Morning Shower Debate

Whether you prefer a bath or a shower doesn’t matter, the point is that you get clean the way that feels comfortable for you. As to when you take that shower, again, preference comes into play. The ideal thing would be to shower in the evening and then again in the morning, but many people don’t have extra time.

Essentially, your shower schedule appears to depend on whether you require more help going to sleep at night or if you need help with getting your body and mental juices flowing first thing in the morning. There truly is no wrong time of day to get clean.

You may know of the importance of caring for yourself physically. You are likely aware of the need to eat well, exercise often, and live a healthy lifestyle. But did you know that these habits are not the only way you should care for yourself?

A commonly overlooked aspect of looking after yourself is about your mental health. Sure, you might be careful about things that can trigger depression, but how compassionate are you to yourself? Did you know that acts of kindness directed internally can be even more beneficial for your overall health? Here’s how experts reveal nine powerful health benefits of being kind to yourself.

1.    Stronger Immune System

When you’re under stress, the body experiences the fight vs. flight instinct, causing the body to focus all its efforts on survival instead of ensuring individual organ and function strength and power. Everything gets slowed down, and you can suffer as a result.

According to research spanning three decades, immunity is considerably impacted by stress, meaning a lack of positive thinking can lead to a higher risk of contracting all sorts of diseases.

According to the University of Texas professor and author Kristin Neff, Ph.D., this means that self-compassion can successfully increase or improve the function of your immune system. There’s a chance you’ll experience:

• Fewer colds and illnesses
• Fewer symptoms of illnesses
• Lower stress reactivity
• A better balance of hormones and microorganisms
• Healthier appearance and body

In fact, self-compassion “meditation” is a real way to help promote healing. Simple meditation allows for mindfulness practices that can teach you to be kind to yourself and exert more control over your thoughts and emotions.

2.    Stress Reduction

When you’re too hard on yourself, you’re constantly criticizing yourself and, potentially, everything around you. This kind of criticism leads to stress and – as you’ve probably guessed – a fight or flight response, says Stanford University Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education science director and author Emma Seppala, Ph.D.

When you critique yourself, you cause your body to release the stress hormone, cortisol. Cortisol is fine in small amounts and when needed, but when released chronically, it can lead to health issues such as:

• Acne
• Easy bruising
• Weight gain
• Thinned skin
• Reduced rate of healing
• Irritability
• Concentration loss
• Headaches
• Weak muscles
• High blood pressure
• Fatigue

According to studies, it’s possible to use positive techniques of self-compassion to break the cycle of negativity, stress, and cortisol production. This is because thinking good thoughts can lead to surges of the feel-good hormone dopamine, says Adelphi University psychology professor and award-winning author Deborah Serani, PsyD.

3.    Changing How You Think

When you’re kind to yourself, you begin a new cycle and process of thinking. With long-term practice, you can completely change the way your brain usually functions, allowing for a more efficient structure and a more positive overall thought pattern, says Neff.

This is because being kind to yourself can thicken the cortical, which is the brain portion responsible for communication across the brain. Actions such as meditation can further rewire the brain to be more beneficial to you and your everyday life.

On top of that, self-compassion is crucial to social connection. Essentially, Seppala states that being kind to yourself is a great way to connect with others, and her research shows us that this can help you find common humanity. Instead of losing itself in wrongs and flaws, the brain learns to observe, relate, and empathize.

4.    Healthier Heart

You’re probably already very familiar with how stress affects fight vs. flight responses, given the fact that we’ve talked about this multiple times! Naturally, that extends to more than just the cortisol production that we’ve mentioned again and again. After all, that kind of stress response isn’t limited to only one function.

When your body is in this fight or flight mode, you:

• Experience spikes in blood pressure
• Have an accelerated heart rate and pulse
• Cardiovascular strain

Just like with cortisol, this isn’t a bad thing when it only happens when your heart needs the boost – like in a real emergency situation where the rush to your heart helps you survive. On a chronic basis, though, it indicates that your body is attempting to solve its problems by attacking itself, says Neff.

Learn to relax and be kind to yourself instead of allowing stress to take over your body. Your heart will, in the long run, thank you.

5.    Exercise Motivation

People often falsely believe that they need to exercise to feel good about their bodies, their appearance, and their overall selves. Ironically, for most people, it works the opposite way. The act of pushing yourself to work out and succeeding in completing that task can give you a massive boost to your self-esteem.

So instead of hating your body and demanding exercise to ease those negative feelings, love your body instead. Sure, it is easier said than done. However you can take baby steps by being kind to yourself. When you care about your body and your mind, you’ll be much more motivated to do things that are good for them, says Neff. Here are some tips to make this happen:

·         Do Mirror Exercises

Every day, look in the mirror and repeat positive affirmations to yourself. Positive self-talk has been proven to work wonders for you and your self-perception. Instead of pointing out your worst features, tell your reflection, “I love you.” Appreciate the parts of you that you do love!

·         Understand What A Real Body Is

Social media is full of people using angles, editing apps, and careful photo selection only ever to show their best side. The media is full of celebrities with expensive personal trainers and professional chefs at their disposal. Your body is real, and it’s realistic. It is beautiful and doesn’t need to measure up to these unreal, unachievable standards. Remember that!

·         Be Grateful

Thank your body for the wonders it does. Appreciate it for keeping you healthy. Acknowledge it for your talents. Thank it for its strength. Thank it for being beautiful, Expressing gratitude towards your body is a huge step forward in being kinder to yourself and reaping the exercise benefits that follow.

6.    Reduced Vice Dependency

A lot of times, a lack of self-love can cause someone to depend on external factors to help them feel happy or better. This type of co-dependency is quite unhealthy and can be very toxic, especially if you find yourself relying on other human beings to feel satisfied. Vices can include:

• Smoking or vaping
• Taking drugs
• Drinking alcohol
• Eating in excess
• Self-harming tendencies
• Obsession and hyper fixation with fantasy
• Co-dependency with loved ones

When you’re kind to yourself, you learn to be self-dependent. You learn that you’re a great person to rely on. As such, you’re less likely to turn to unhealthy vices. Studies indicate that even severe addictions can be helped through kindness.

7.    Mental Resilience

One of the very, very best benefits of self-compassion is that you become mentally stronger. It’s much harder for the world to bring you down when you are your support system.

Does this mean you’d never seek out help from external parties? Of course not! Everyone needs help sometimes. But, according to Seppala, when you practice self-compassion, you:

• Don’t burden yourself with excessive criticism.
• Can keep a more definite peace of mind
• Manage to retain emotional energy
• Are more mindful of how you speak to or think of yourself

These factors combined contribute to your mental fortitude when you’re more self-compassionate, so it’s a fundamental trait to try to maintain!

8.    Pain Management

Chronic pain and other similar conditions and issues can be debilitating. Worse still, they’re known for having less than stellar effects on positive thinking. In fact, considerable, untreated, or difficult-to-manage pain levels can contribute to and be affected in turn by symptoms of anxiety and depression.

According to Serani, acts such as meditation and mindfulness, which work to improve your self-compassion, prove to help relax the body enough to reduce chronic pain of all kinds. In fact, because self-compassion is so deeply interwoven with chronic pain – as found by plenty of studies – it’s not an exaggeration to say that they do go hand-in-hand.

When your self-compassion is low, your pain is worse, and when your pain is worse, your self-compassion gets even smaller. You need to break the cycle! Aside from focusing on being kind to yourself, you can also manage chronic pain and your kindness by:

·         Therapy

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy are both typical go-tos for those dealing with chronic pain, according to Ted Jones, Ph.D., CPE. This kind of thinking shifts your thoughts from self-loathing or self-pitying to considering future options, which puts the power back in your hands.

·         Pacing Yourself

When you’re not kind to yourself, feelings of guilt may cause you to push yourself extra hard. You may work yourself down to the bone, even when your body needs a break. Jones encourages the act of learning your body and pain’s limits and respecting them with the knowledge that you deserve to rest, too.

·         Chill Out

Holding tension in your body due to stress is often a clear sign that you’re not kind to yourself. Worse still, holding that tension causes stiffness that can further worsen chronic pain.

9.    Diabetes Management

Diabetes is a severe condition, and it’s not something any proper mindset can cure, of course. This fact is not to say, though, that positive thinking can’t aid in overall management. In fact, according to Neff, a lot of the additional problems of diabetes can come from stress and distress. Learning to manage those emotions can lead to more stable glucose levels.

Considering the concept of cortisol and how cortisol presence boosts blood sugar, this isn’t a surprise at all. As such, though it sounds a little outlandish to say, being kind to yourself can indirectly help with the management of diabetes!

Final Thoughts On Some Powerful Health Benefits Of Being Kind To Yourself

Self-compassion is a crucial skill, not just for your mental state, but for your physical one as well. The overall effects of kindness on your whole being go to show just how crucial it is to care about yourself on a deeper level. Never be ashamed of loving the person you are!

The world we live in can be competitive. It’s like a big race, with everyone scrambling to get to their destination first, no matter the cost. It can all be very overwhelming, and it’s easy to get swept up in that mindset. Spending energy proving yourself to others becomes a drain on your psyche.

This mindset often involves acts designed to impress others. As you compare yourself to your peers and strive to do well in the eyes of your superiors, you may feel as though you must prove yourself worthy to the people around you.

But your worth isn’t dictated by how well you play the part of “being proven.” If anything, it’s quite the opposite. Your value is something you inherently have and that you build upon, regardless of what everyone says about you.

Still, resisting the pull of society’s self-worth traps can be difficult. If you need more convincing, you’ve come to the right place. Here are six reasons why you should stop proving yourself to others.

6 Reasons to Stop Proving Yourself to Others

1.    Societal Norms Don’t Have To Dictate Your Life

Societal norms rule the world, just as their name suggests. They’re the norms that we accept as standard, even when they shouldn’t be. Some criteria may be helpful, but many of them are restrictive, and when we’re expected to prove ourselves, we often follow those patterns. Here’s why that’s unhelpful:

·         A Lot Of Ideas Of Worth Are Materialistic

Typical indicators of success can be quite materialistic. People may attempt to measure your worth based on your possessions or wealth. However, the facts are simple – these items matter very little when it comes to your worth!

·         People Will Think They’re Above You No Matter Where You Go

No matter where you wind up in the world, there will be people who act like they are above you. Spending your life trying to prove yourself to people is essentially setting yourself up for failure from the get-go. Why give in to their flawed ideas when you can make your way?

·         You Can’t Please Everyone

It is impossible to please all people, and it is even more impossible to please society. Society asks different things every day and multiple contradictory ideas at the same time. It is simply not possible to please the world, so learn when it’s best to walk away and stop wasting your time.

2.    Failure And Falling Behind Are Part Of Success

People often say that failure is a stepping stone to success, but few realize the full extent of how true that is. Until you learn what doesn’t work, and until you’ve learned from experiences, your chances of having anything more than fleeting success are slim. Failure can have a substantial positive effect on your future trajectory for success, provided that you learn from it!

On top of that, let’s not forget that human beings are, in general, ever-changing. This transformation means that you’ll go through all sorts of different situations in your life in your journey, and during some of them, you will be wrong, and you will find yourself struggling.

That’s all just part of the overall process. Striving for constant perfection is unrealistic and unhealthy. Plus, it can cause you to be so afraid of failure that you stop taking risks and give up on trying. Learning to embrace failure and accept that it’s going to have to be a part of your life allows you to find silver livings and positive thinking, even in less-than-ideal times.

3.    Your Life Is About You

Your life is yours and yours alone. It’s for you to decide all its intricacies, and while you can listen to the advice and input of others, they should not have the ability to dictate the result. It’s fine to keep in mind outside assistance as long as it doesn’t control your entire life – because your life only belongs to you! Consider these points:

·         You Get To Define Yourself

No one has the right to judge you or decide what you are. It’s your privilege and responsibility to define yourself. Consider your values, your opinions, and your goals, and think about who you want to be. No one can take that from you.

·         You Have To Deal With The End Result Of Your Actions

Let’s say someone is being especially tedious about trying to make you do what they want. Before you give in, stop and think about it. This person’s life is separate from yours. At the end of the day, you’re the only one who has to deal with the end result of what you do in most cases. If this doesn’t affect them, why should you listen to them first over your thoughts?

·         It’s Really No One’s Business

Plenty of people like to poke their noses in the business of other people. If someone’s doing that to you, remember that they aren’t entitled to that privilege. They can think what they want, but so can you. It’s your life, and therefore you get to decide who influences it.

4.    Everyone Is Different And Complex

People are unique. They come from all walks of life. As such, it’s impossible to keep proving yourself as each person you meet will have a different set of experiences, beliefs, and opinions. The complexity of humankind is such that proving yourself to them is a futile task. Here’s why:

·         What Works For Others May Not Work For You

Sometimes, you may feel tempted to prove yourself by showing someone that you can do what they do. The issue is that you may get a completely different result than them, even if you imitate them completely! Things that work for other people may simply fail to cut it for you because of how different each individual can be.

·         Others Can Project Onto You

People who you want to prove yourself to may just be projecting their thoughts and insecurities onto you. It’s not that they genuinely, with their entire being, believe you should be better – it’s that they can’t stop themselves from using you as their reflection or canvas. Proving yourself to anyone like that would be pointless!

·         You Don’t Know What Others Are Thinking Or Doing

Caring so much what other people think is a risky game because you can never tell for sure what’s going on in their heads. Do they have ulterior motives? Are they manipulating you? Are they trying to change you? If you don’t know their motives, it’s tough to follow through.

·         People Change, Often

People constantly grow, change, and evolve. Plenty of philosophers have even stated that the world and our selves are constantly changing in a “flux” of sorts. This means people’s thoughts and opinions of you and what you do will change over time, so why bother proving yourself when they’ll likely want something different soon? This also speaks of something to fill you with positive thinking: even if you aren’t happy with yourself now, you can transform yourself naturally, however you wish.

5.    The People Who Matter Don’t Need You To Prove Yourself

The people in your life who are worth proving yourself to are often, ironically, the people who don’t want you to prove yourself to them. They care for you, trust you, and even love you for who you are, and they would never want or need you to change or act differently just to “pass” in their eyes.

These people would never expect you to change who you are, but they would also never stifle your growth. You would be able to quickly improve and develop over time, and these people will always stick by you – though they will call you out for wrong or harmful actions, of course!

Besides, after you realize all of that, you’ll likely realize something else – most people aren’t as concerned with your shortcomings as you think. So put on that positive thinking! People are often too worried about their selves to focus so much on the people around them.

6.    Only You Have The Power

The power to control your life is 100% in your hands. No one can take that from you. This ability comes with its fair share of urgency, and that can be scary, but it’s also a powerful and beautiful thing. Here are some things to consider:

·         You Are Responsible For Your Life

All the situations you have ever been in have one thing in common: you. You have the responsibility to realize your urgency and ability to control your behavior, actions, how you react, and what you do next. No matter what, you have the power to do something about the situation you’re in. Why should you spend your time proving yourself when you have all that ability within you?

·         You Know The Path You Want To Walk

You are the only person in the whole world who really, truly knows what path you want to walk. The people who you want to impress have no idea what your true desires are, so why waste the effort trying to show off to them? Take steps that make sense with your goals instead.

·         You Determine Your Abilities

It’s your choice on how to spend your energy and time. This leads to the skills you pick up, the achievements you reach, and your overall positive steps forward. Those around you who you want to prove yourself to don’t have any power over what you’re capable of.

·         You Deserve To Be True To Yourself

Proving yourself to others can often involve a degree of fakeness. But that’s unfair to the great person you are. Even if it’s frightening, don’t be afraid to be yourself and speak your truth. Others may not agree with you, but wasting your time on proving yourself to them would be a disservice to yourself!

Final Thoughts On Some Reasons Why You Should Stop Proving Yourself To Others

No one has any right to change you or dictate who you’ll become or how your life will be. So be confident in your identity and stop trying to prove yourself to others. Hinging your self-worth and success on the thoughts of others is unhealthy and ultimately ineffective.

So hold your head high, grab the opportunities you want, and don’t let anyone tell you that who you are is wrong. It can be difficult at first, but don’t worry; eventually, your actions will speak for themselves!