Feels

“I would rather drown myself in the waters of the Sabarmati than harbour hate or animosity in my heart.” – Mahatma Gandhi

The powerful quote above should warn us about the dangers of holding onto hate and resentment. Feeling jealous or disliking someone only brings you down, so why put yourself through that misery? Nothing good ever comes from bottling up feelings, especially hateful ones. Negative emotions lower one’s vitality, while positive feelings such as love and kindness raise it.

All of us should strive to feel universal compassion and understanding for humankind because, without a shred of generosity in our hearts, humanity could not exist. However, some people seem to thrive on bringing others down, unfortunately. Perhaps you encounter someone in your life who you suspect doesn’t like you for whatever reason. If they display any of the signs listed below, they may have hidden jealousy of you.

Here are 15 red flags that someone feels secret animosity towards you:

1. They have closed off body language.
   

Experts say that people who secretly dislike you or aren’t interested may show the following red flags:

• pointing their feet away from you
• avoiding eye contact
• crossing their arms (though that could be a self-comforting technique, according to ex-FBI agent Joe Navarro)
• their pupils constrict
• they shift their jaw a lot
• they touch their neck, especially the base at the front of the neck, often
• their reactions seem forced or disinterested

2. Their smile or laugh seems forced around you.

Another sign of secret hatred or jealousy forced happy emotions could mean that they have something to hide. For example, if you’ve just gotten a raise at work and told someone close to you, they most likely would feel thrilled and excited for you. However, a person harboring resentment may feign smiles just to appease you, but you don’t feel authenticity from their reaction.

Of course, they might just suffer from depression, causing them to have to fake smiles around people. Most of the time, though, you can tell when someone doesn’t have good intentions with you.

3. They give compliments that seem insincere.

A person who harbors secret jealousy may give you compliments, but they add snide remarks or brag about themselves afterward. Their compliments never seem to come from a place of genuine kindness or love, instead of having an air of passive aggression about them. If someone praises you regularly, they might have a secret plan and just want to get on your right side. Be wary of these types of people, as many narcissists have a charming, friendly nature in the beginning.

4. If someone feels animosity toward you, they’ll downplay your achievements.

Do you know someone who always undercuts your accomplishments? For example, maybe you lost a lot of weight recently and wanted to share your success with your friends. Instead of congratulating you, they might’ve said something like, “I lost X more pounds than that last year.” No matter what you achieve, they will always find a way to downplay it.

5. They brag a lot around you.

Expanding on the point above, people who have secret animosity toward you will find a way to dominate any conversation. Every time you bring up something you feel proud of yourself for, they’ll switch it around and make it about them. When you’re around them, you may find that you can’t get a word in edgewise because they always talk about themselves and their achievements.

People who do this feel jealous of you and only brag because they have to defend their ego. Don’t give in to their mind games; simply remain humble and try to distance yourself, if possible.

6. They seem happy when you fail.

Someone who harbors jealousy toward you will only seem happy when your life isn’t going well. If you notice that they seem joyful when things take a turn for the worse, you might find that you have an energy vampire on your hands. These types of people feed off people’s negative energy and have low vibration. Because they don’t like their own lives, they only seem to come around when your own life is in shambles.

7. Your friends tell you they’ve been gossiping behind your back.

You hear rumors that they’ve been talking about you when you’re not around. Someone who holds feelings of animosity toward you will gossip about you any chance they get, and won’t care if it hurts your feelings. They would never have the courage to tell you directly to your face, though, because they need your friendship to feed their fragile, damaged ego.

8. This person never seems truly happy for you.

If a person never seems happy for you, they probably dislike you or feel jealousy toward you. Sadly, even if you talk about it with them, they will likely not change because the issue lies within themselves. People who bring others down have a problem deep inside themselves that they won’t address, instead of causing havoc and destruction in anyone who crosses their path.

9. They always want to get a rise out of you.

Does this person seem to get off on making you angry or irritated? Do they purposely bring up sore subjects just to get a reaction out of you? If you find that this person loves to stir the pot and often says things to upset you, they probably feel hidden jealousy toward you.

10. They get passive-aggressive with you.

If someone doesn’t like you, they may harbor a lot of resentment because of pent up feelings. Therefore, if an issue comes up that you need to talk about with them, they may just shut down and not communicate with you. Passive aggressiveness is a very immature, manipulative tactic used by people to get their way when they feel threatened or undermined. Don’t give in to this type of behavior, especially if you’ve done nothing wrong.

11. If someone feels jealous of you, they’ll talk about themselves a lot.

Because they secretly feel threatened by you, they want to take the attention off you and put themselves in the spotlight. If you’ve recently accomplished something huge in your life, such as landing a new job or starting a business, they will try to one-up you in any way they can. Nothing you do ever seems good enough in their eyes, but they have low self-esteem and take it out on you.

12. You just feel in your gut that something is off.

If your gut tells you that you shouldn’t trust them or you feel on edge around them, you should listen to your instincts. You can tell within a few seconds of being around someone if you match with their energy because you’ll pick up on their vibes. Feeling anxious or depressed around someone for no reason may indicate that you have picked up on their evil intentions.

13. If you try to talk to them about it, they flip out on you.

If you try to have a mature conversation with them about how they’ve been behaving, and they deny it or try to gaslight you, then you’ve probably hit a nerve with them. A person who feels guilty about their behaviors or actions will usually try to shift blame or react passive-aggressively. You might not be able to break through to them, but if they don’t come around, take it as a warning from the universe that you should move on from the relationship or friendship.

14. They make a lot of “jokes” about you around friends or coworkers.

Do they make snarky remarks around your friends about you? We all know when someone is just playing with us or when they mean what they say. If it seems like they make distasteful or hurtful “jokes” about you every time you see them, they probably have intense animosity toward you. Sometimes people display it in covert ways, such as covering up their feelings with sarcastic jokes or rude comments.

15. They never truly listen to you, and you don’t feel comfortable opening up to them.

Does it feel like they’re in a different world when you talk to them? Or, does it feel like pulling teeth when you want to talk about something important? If you feel like they’re not interested in conversations with you, they might have animosity toward you.

Final thoughts on signs someone feels animosity about you.

Sometimes, we don’t catch it when people dislike us because they won’t come right out and say it. You may even have a close friend in your life who you get weird vibes from, but you can’t put your finger on the problem. Unfortunately, some people choose to stay in our lives just to use us or make themselves feel better by putting us down.

If you notice any of the red flags above in people in your life, make sure to set clear boundaries with them. You should surround yourself with those who lift you and inspire you, not those with secret agendas who don’t care about your well-being.

If someone feels entitled, they probably have a long history of acting like the universe revolves around them. Sadly, many people today possess this sense of entitlement, and we really can’t blame them for it.

We grow up believing that the world owes us something in large part because of today’s parenting and teaching styles. Everyone gets a participation trophy, teachers pass students even if they failed, and in general, no one thinks they should go through any suffering or hardship to earn anything.

So, it makes sense why we have a world full of entitled people. Studies indicate a rise in narcissism in western cultures, likely due to an increased emphasis on individualism and social media use. This correlates strongly with a sense of entitlement because narcissists believe that the world revolves around them, and they deserve everything under the sun.

Parents and teachers foster this mindset as well when they make children believe they should always win or always get the latest toy. While children need love and support, they also need to know that others matter and that people don’t have to cater to their needs all the time.

So, with that said, let’s get into the signs that someone feels entitled, and how to encourage people to develop a sense of empathy.

“Entitlement is a delusion built on self-centeredness and laziness.” – Unknown

Here are ten red flags someone feels entitled:

1. They only care about their own needs/wants.

Those who feel entitled will always put their desires first. They don’t care what it takes to have their needs fulfilled. Indeed, hey will not stop until they have been satisfied, and that gratification will quickly wear off. Furthermore, they can’t seem to stop the vicious cycle of getting what they want, feeling empty, and needing even more than before to keep them satisfied.

They won’t show much concern for what others need or want, and will not have a problem stepping on other people’s toes to actualize their desires. A red flag of a sense of entitlement involves a supreme sense of superiority and belief that the person should get their way 100% of the time.

2. They continuously seek attention.

People who feel entitled will likely spend a large portion of their time seeking attention and compliments from others. Whether they spend most of their time on social media or showing off their latest accomplishments to friends or family, they can’t seem to get enough attention. Social media fuels their addiction to social acceptance because no one can stop them from posting selfies or making videos, and they can garner the attention of potentially millions.

If someone in your life shows these signs, they probably feel pretty entitled.

3. People who feel entitled love to throw pity parties.

If they don’t get their way, a person who feels entitled will let you know it. They will complain for hours on end about how someone cut them off in traffic or how their latest business deal didn’t work out. They don’t ever look for solutions. Instead, they like to fixate on their problems. It gives them quite a shock when the world doesn’t cater to their every need or when something doesn’t go according to plan, so they have no coping skills to deal with it.

They will cry, scream, and pick fights until they’ve gotten enough of throwing a temper tantrum, and usually, an empathetic person will come to their aid. Sadly, empaths and highly sensitive people tend to attract narcissists like a moth to a flame due to their giving, caring nature.

4. They believe they always deserve happiness and often hurt others to get it.

Those with a strong sense of entitlement will knock others down just to make themselves feel better. They don’t care if people get hurt as long as they achieve their end goal. Narcissists have an inflated sense of self and somehow think that their happiness matters more than that of other people. They will stop at nothing to make sure their wants get fulfilled.

5. If someone feels entitled, they will belittle others and gaslight them if they don’t get what they want.

Another red flag that someone feels entitled is that they will make others feel crazy for not catering to their needs. They may make others feel guilty for not doing exactly what they asked, and the person will likely fall for it (especially if it’s a significant other). Watch out for this type of behavior, as this can become dangerous and mentally harmful over time.

6. They cut others off to ensure their success.

They want the big prize and can’t stand to let anyone else have it. The person who feels entitled won’t allow others to become successful if it cuts into their profits or fame. They may sabotage any attempts for others to reach the top so that they can claim that spot for themselves. They want to win all the time and will act like a sore loser if they don’t achieve success.

7. Entitled people take more than they give.

A classic sign of entitlement involves taking more than giving for the person who thinks the world revolves around them. They don’t care what others need but will have a long list of needs themselves. If others give them the cold shoulder, they will throw a big pity party and, like others have done them wrong. They have a huge double standard about how others should treat them even though they don’t follow the golden rule themselves.

8. They don’t know how to negotiate or compromise.

If their needs haven’t been met to a T, they will not be satisfied. A person who feels entitled will not feel complete if they can’t check every desire off their list. They don’t know how to meet in the middle; with them, it’s all or nothing.

9. People who feel entitled need lots of validation and flattery.

Another narcissist trait, the person who feels entitled, will need a lot of compliments and praise to get by. They feel empty and worthless if others don’t notice their success or accomplishments.

10. In general, they believe they are more important or better than others.

Finally, a red flag that someone feels entitled is that they will just feel superior to others. They’re the hottest thing on the block, obviously, and they expect everyone else to agree and acknowledge that.

How to overcome the urge to feel entitled

Now that we’ve gone over the red flags that someone feels entitled, we want to go over ways that someone can get over this entitlement complex. Now, we don’t want to give the impression that everyone should act perfectly. We know that almost everyone struggles with something, whether it’s low self-esteem, feeling entitled, or not feeling necessary. However, a sense of entitlement has the potential to hurt others as well as yourself.

So, if you or someone you know shows the “entitled trait,” here are some ways to combat it:

• Develop self-awareness. If you find that you think about yourself and your needs the majority of the time, try to extend empathy to others as well. Simply getting in the habit of checking in with your thoughts can reverse this sense of entitlement.
• Identify deeply rooted ideas about how you perceive your existence. In other words, do you feel that others should cater to you all the time? Do you think the world revolves around you? Often, this belief begins in childhood, so some inner child work can help undo this belief.
• Accept life the way it is and don’t always think you need something else to feel satisfied.
• Celebrate the successes of others, and feel gratitude for the relationships in your life. Remember that no one really knows what they’re doing here, and we’re all just trying to make it. Develop compassion for others, and try to see them as an extension of yourself.

Final thoughts on red flags that someone feels entitled

If someone feels entitled, you’ll most likely know it within a few minutes of meeting them. They will probably talk about themselves most of the time and not show much interest in your own needs or wants. They will also cut others off and do whatever it takes to get to the top. Entitled people may have a narcissistic personality disorder, or just have traits of a narcissist.

When dealing with these types, you need to remember to set boundaries and perhaps even cut off ties with them if needed. No one should ever make you feel guilty for not catering to their every need, and if they do, they have serious work to do on themselves. A sense of entitlement often begins in the early stages of life, but with inner work and perhaps the help of a therapist, they can develop empathy and compassion for others.

 “Man is not, by nature, deserving of all that he wants. When we think that we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking all over others to get it.” – Criss Jami