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15 Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic and Love Yourself

15 Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic and Love Yourself


Meet your worst critic–yourself.  Consider this scenario, below:

Danielle worked hard to be noticed by an agent. It seemed that it was finally paying off as she sat in the lobby, waiting for her turn to audition. As she sat there, she looked around at all the other women. “Their clothes are a lot nicer than mine,” she thought to herself.

Not being able to do anything about her clothes at the moment, Danielle decided to read over the script once more, convinced that she’d forget every word as soon as she got in front of the agent. The thought of this brought sweat to her forehead. “Great, now I’ll be a sweaty mess, and my curls are going to drop. This meeting is going to be a disaster.”

A pretty woman walked out of the room and called Danielle’s name. “Here goes a train wreck,” Danielle thought to herself as she entered the room. It seemed like the agents stared a hole into her soul as Danielle repeated the script. When it was over, the said “thank you” in a monotone voice as she exited the room.

“I blew that audition. I don’t even know why I’m still pursuing this,” Danielle thought to herself as she entered the elevator. Tears ran down her face, and she didn’t even care because she figured they would blend in with her sweat.

You might not be an actor, but you can probably identify with self-critical feelings like those.

Introducing the Inner Critic

That story was depressing, but it’s a great way to illustrate how your inner critic can make your life miserable. Talking to yourself can be a good thing in some cases, and the private conversations in your head should always be inspiring. However, that’s not always the case. Sometimes that criticizing voice in your head can be a real bully.

You must silence that bully to be happy and love yourself. It’s not easy to do this, but with practice, it’s not impossible. In this article, you’ll learn a little about what an inner critic is as well as 15 ways to manage it.

Understanding Self-Criticism

Your inner critic is a voice in your head that scrutinizes even the tiniest anxieties. It’s a voice that can make you feel insecure and lower your self-confidence if you don’t learn how to tame it. Listening to it becomes addictive, and like all addictions, it can lead to self-destruction.

If you aren’t in control of that inner voice, it can seem that the voice is elusive. You’ll be so used to it that you don’t even realize when it’s speaking. However, this critical voice can become entangled deep into your sense of self – so deep that it’s almost a part of who you are.

Everyone has that judgmental voice. Some people are better at managing it than others. The good news is that you can get better at managing it. Using the 15 tips below, you can take control of your self-criticizing inner voice, silence it, and love yourself again.

Silence Your Inner Critic with These 15 Tips

1. Detach from your inner critic.

The first thing you need to do is realize that the voice in your head is not you. You could even give it a name to establish it as a separate entity. This way, when it shows up, you can say, “go away, Fred,” or whatever name you decide to use. Doing this is the first step to taking power away from Fred.

2. Post affirmations and read them often.

It’s no secret that reading or saying positive affirmations help to inspire and motivate you. This tip is especially true if you use affirmations designed explicitly for anxiety. Affirmations can boost self-love, inspire positive thinking, and push self-criticism to the back burner. Just make sure your assertions are rooted in reality, so you aren’t disappointing yourself.

3. Be aware of your thoughts.

As mentioned earlier, you could be so used to self-criticism that you don’t even realize it’s there. You may have accepted it as a way of life. To take control of Fred, you’ll need to be aware of when he rear’s his ugly head. Start paying attention to the thoughts that come across your mind so you can begin to stamp away from the negative criticism.

4. Let go of past situations.

Sometimes that awkward self-criticism can be sourced by situations or even people from your past. Someone said to you as a child could have cut you so profoundly that it remains with you through adulthood. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past or what someone said about you in the past. You determine who you are and what your life is.

5. Give yourself advice like you were a friend.

Sometimes it’s easier to give other people advice than it is to take your own. Fred is glad because he can continue to criticize you relentlessly. Instead of letting Fred win, try giving yourself advice like a friend if they were in the same situation. Then apply that to yourself.

6. Improve yourself instead of settling.

Many people give in to what their self-criticism says. Instead of doing this, prove your self-criticism wrong. Does your inner voice say you won’t pass a test? Prove it wrong by studying harder. Does it tell you that you’ll never be rich? Make a financial plan to become a millionaire and put it into action. Maybe it says you’ll never lose weight. Join a gym and workout every day. Show yourself how wrong that inner voice can be.

7. Turn criticism into constructive criticism.

Sometimes that inner voice might be hinting at a bit of truth, even if it is mean about it. This habit may take a bit of practice but try to strip down the negativity in the thought and use it as constructive criticism. For example, if your inner voice tells you that you’ll never get the promotion you so desperately want and you know that you’re always late, stop being late. You’ll still need to have a more positive inner voice but use the criticism to do better.

Learn the most powerful techniques to build self-confidence.

8. Be nice to yourself.

You can be the harshest person to yourself. This self-talk doesn’t help your self-esteem at all. Sometimes you need to give yourself a break. You’re only human, and no one is perfect. Try being better to yourself, even when you mess up, or things go wrong.

9. Celebrate your accomplishments.

When you achieve something, no matter how small it is, you should celebrate it. Reward yourself somehow for reaching your goals. Psychology tells us that self-regard isn’t selfish. In fact, it’s a great way to begin disassociating negative behaviors like the ones that trigger self-criticism.

10. Show yourself some compassion.

You’re going to mess up sometimes. That’s a part of life. No one is perfect. Therefore, you should show yourself some compassion. There are going to be times when things don’t go your way. Maybe something terrible happened. Perhaps you actually caused it. However, remember not to be so harsh on yourself. It could happen to anyone.

11. Focus on your great qualities.

Instead of focusing on what your inner voice is telling you is wrong, focus on all the things that are great about you. Drown out the negativity from Fred with as much positivity as possible. Even if it’s small things, add that to your focus list. Eventually, you’ll realize that Fred was wrong, and your positive list is a lot longer than the negative list in your head.

12. Start a daily journal.

Journaling may sound like something a teenage girl does while stretched across her bed with a fuzzy pink pen, but it’s a proven way to improve self-esteem, self-love, and self-confidence. Journaling helps to unlock things about yourself you may not be aware of. One of those things is negative thought patterns. You’ll be able to see these thought patterns and make changes to them.

13. Don’t compare yourself to others.

Comparing yourself to other people is a disaster waiting to happen. You’re not like anyone else, so you can’t expect yourself to do what everyone else does. When you compare yourself to other people, you automatically set yourself up for negative self-criticism because you’re comparing yourself to someone who you’ll never be. Instead, focus on what you can do and are willing to do to improve yourself.

14. Remember that you are your own worst critic.

You would be surprised how much other people are not criticizing you. Usually, the worst criticism happens internally. People can be so hard on themselves. It’s okay if you’re pushing yourself to be better. If it gets to a point where you’re putting yourself down, it’s time for a change.

15. Consider therapy.

If all else fails, you may need to consider getting professional help. It’s not fair to continue to allow negative self-criticism to take away your peace and your grace. Don’t feel bad if you can’t handle it on your own. That’s what therapists are for.

Final Thoughts on Silencing Your Inner Critic

Self-critics are the harshest critics on the planet. Your inner voice can have your self-esteem in the trash. If you keep listening to that inner voice, you’ll eventually lose your grace and your self-love.

You don’t have to suffer from negative self-criticism. With a little effort and some great advice, you can overcome the self-criticism. Use the 15 tips above as a starting point to stop being your worst critic with more positive thinking.

Lifestyle

Research Reveals That Love at First Sight Does Exist

Research Reveals That Love at First Sight Does Exist


Love-at-first-sight is as old as the hills. You hear about it in songs, books, and movies. Does it exist? According to researchers, it does!.  But of course, you didn’t need a researcher to tell you that. You may have experienced it yourself. So, what else does the research team say about the existence of love-at-first-sight? Let’s find out.

Research proves that the eyes have it.

Your eyes meet across a large room full of people. You feel an instant attraction, a sudden connection to this person. Is it authentic? Attraction to another person is expressed by the eyes. The gaze may express sexual interest, a strong desire to convey to them how you feel. Your intentions and the other person’s preferences influence how you look at one another. You must evaluate the attraction you feel. Is this really love-at-first-sight or just a passing fling? Acting upon the gaze and feelings could be a life-changer. So, when you gaze into someone’s eyes across the room, you never know what may happen.

You look familiar to me.

According to studies, people are often attracted to someone with similar attributes to themselves. Researchers believe that you can be sexually attracted to your lookalike because you perceive them as trustworthy. You do this by looking at the person’s eyes and facial features. Indeed, you may feel as if you’d be comfortable with them, even though you’ve never talked to them. Perhaps you might even assume you know them. Or, you can sense whether they are sad, happy, or a healthy individual. You’ve seen those couples who look so much alike they could be siblings. It’s not that uncommon. And sometimes these couples act alike, too.

Is there a physical attraction?

You will probably be attracted to someone physically attractive to you. Love at first sight encounters are often based on your perception of physical beauty. Whether this instant connection factors into all experiences, researchers are still studying to understand the concept of love-at-first-sight better. Every individual has a different definition of genuine beauty, and it’s often in the eyes of the beholder. Who hasn’t had that friend who falls for someone you’d never describe as beautiful? But that’s the beautiful part of physical attraction. Everyone has their own definition of it.  So, someone who is physically attractive to you is more likely going to be that person you gaze at across the room.

Is it love, or is it lust?

Those intense, love at first sight feelings are not always a desire for love and commitment. Established relationships tend to have these feelings beyond what those who fall head over heals right away. But these brief encounters can make you open to this type of relationship. Love at first is often defined as an attraction that makes you open to a possible connection. But researchers suggest that love may not be a prerequisite for sex, and sexual desire doesn’t always lead to love. Each person is different in their motives and goals when they have that butterflies in the stomach experience. That fixated gaze you’re getting from the person across the room could be expressing feelings of love or just feelings of lust.

Can love-at-first-sight happen more than once?

Some people rely on love at first sight for all their relationships. They look for their feelings to lead them to find the right partner. They may have multiple similar experiences. This is not always the most reliable method to find someone, and those couples who feel instant attraction don not always end up in a relationship. Getting to know someone over time is a more reliable way to build a relationship. But sometimes these very romantic experiences do become a long term relationship, and when it does, it’s a sweet and touching story. It’s what creates the familiar songs, books, and movies that are so popular.

Does love at first sight predict a successful and long term relationship?

Researchers suggest that falling in love at first sight is superficial at best. You might be attracted to someone physically, but really have nothing in common with them. Good chance the relationship won get off the ground. But on the other hand, your positive first impression of that person and the familiarity you feel toward them could lead to a long relationship. It really just depends on whether it’s meant to be.

What if I’m not feeling it?

Often the instant attraction is not by both individuals. In fact, the love at first sight emotion is rarely shared, so don’t feel bad if you’re not feeling it. Researchers found that these experiences are often a one-sided experience. One person has an intense sense of love-at-first-sight. When this person explains their experience to you, you may begin to experience the same thing, even though it wasn’t your first reaction. So, just hearing the other person explain their experience to you can help you have the same experience.

Men fall in love, at first sight, more frequently than women.

Women are less inclined to feel this experience than men. That is because women are often more careful about whom they date. Also, females often prefer to take their time in relationships to get to know the other person. On the other hand, males are more apt to report having this experience many times. This could be because men are driven more by physical attraction than women. And it’s unclear whether these love-at-first-sight encounter men have turned into long-lasting relationships.

Can I feel this chemistry with online dating?

Online dating might inhibit this notion. But don’t rule it out altogether!

It’s pretty hard to look across the room at someone if you’re only looking at their picture. Some couples report that they did feel this attraction when looking at the other person’s photo. But other people suggested that it was more when they met the person face to face that they had their love-at-first-sight encounter. It seems as if these emotions involves seeing the person physically.  So, whether it’s by looking at a photo of someone or meeting someone face to face, you do not need to be in a crowded room to experience love-at-first-sight.

Is love at first sight outdated?

Many people feel that love, at first sight, is dated. Or at least, it’s too fairytale-like to be genuine. They feel that this type of love encounter doesn’t happen in real life. While other people argue that a large population of people who maintain that love-at-first-sight exists and have experienced it.

All arguments aside, the naysayers may have a point. Movies can leave you with a that doesn’t happen in real life kind of feeling. Overly romantic stories can be so exaggerated that if you haven’t had a love- at- first- sight encounter, you may feel like there’s something wrong with you.

These fifteen behaviors reveal that someone is falling in love.

Final Thoughts on the Study about Love at First Sight

For some people, the phenomenon of love at first sight is real. But for others, it’s not their experience. To strive for this type of experience isn’t necessary to have a great relationship with someone. Although science does say it does happen, don’t feel pressure to make it happen or feel like there is something wrong with you if it does not.

When you feel an instant connection with someone across the room, it could be that you will be head over heels before you know what hits you. You may feel like you are drawn to the person. It is an experience that many people have, and it can be the beginning of a long term relationship. You can act upon the initial first gaze. But be sure to understand the other person’s goals. If you’re wanting a deeper, more meaningful type of relationship and they’re not looking for that, it could be disappointing. If you don’t have this experience, that’s okay. Not everyone does, yet they enjoy a wonderful loving relationship with their partner. It’s different for everyone. Whatever happens, if you have that love-at-first-sight experience, enjoy it, and hopefully, a relationship will blossom from that simple gaze across the room.

Lifestyle

Science Proves that Trust in a Relationship is More Essential Than Love

Science Proves that Trust in a Relationship is More Essential


While lasting relationships can’t thrive without love, trust in a relationship may matter most. Feelings of love come and go in long-term relationships, but trust withstands the test of time. Any healthy marriage goes through phases where the couple may fall out of love temporarily. However, if they have trust, it can keep the ship afloat on the stormiest of waters.

Any two people can fall into love, but those feelings tend to fade over time. After a while, relationships form into more of a loving friendship as the honeymoon phase ends. If the couple continues to build trust and work as a team, then the relationship stands a good chance of lasting forever. Simply put, you can have faith without love, but you can’t have love without trust.

In a successful relationship, you have to believe you can trust your partner before giving them your heart. Below, we’ll talk more about why trust predicts relationship success more than love.

Science says that trust matters even more than love in relationships.

In a nutshell, a successful relationship hinges on kindness and trust more than anything else. The feelings of infatuation will fade, but if you have confidence, nothing can take that away. People underestimate this and expect that they’ll feel the same in 20 years as they did in the very beginning. When their love starts to wane, couples assume that their relationship won’t make it.

However, they forget about the importance of trust. Even if you don’t feel in love with your partner anymore, you can still love and respect them. You can still hold onto the positive aspects of your relationship and choose to focus on those. The Gottman Institute says that accentuating the positives in a relationship is one of the most significant predictors of success.

John Gottman, a leader in studying what constitutes a healthy marriage or relationship, believes the little things matter most. After studying couples over the past 35 years, he says the following items ensure success in relationships more than anything else:

Learn your partner’s inner psychological world, such as their biggest hopes, fears, worries, and joy. This will help you bond with your partner and know their needs.

  • Share fondness and admiration.

Gottman refers to this as a solution for contempt since it promotes affection and respect for each other. In other words, you want to focus on the positive things about your partner rather than the negatives.

  • Lean into your significant other instead of away from them.

State your needs and respond to your partner’s attempts to connect. For example, if he or she points something out to you, or tries to engage in conversation, put your full attention on them. The smallest moments and interactions matter the most in relationship success.

  • Maintaining a positive perspective.

Try to have a positive approach to solving problems, as trust in a relationship comes from how you respond to conflicts.

Part of building a healthy marriage or relationship comes from how you deal with conflict. It can either make or break a relationship, so make sure you work as a team. Listen to your partner and try to come to a resolution together. Conflicts are typical in any healthy relationship, as long as you treat your partner with love and respect.

  • Work on making each other’s dreams a reality

Let your partner talk openly about his or her desires and dreams. Create an open environment where they feel safe and heard talking about the future.

Every relationship needs something that unites it, whether that means kids or perhaps a shared business. Or, maybe it means getting involved in something you both enjoy, such as biking or hiking. No matter what the trouble is, make sure your relationship involves something that matters to both of you.

Of course, this should remain a priority in a relationship. Without trust, you won’t have a foundation to build upon for a successful partnership. You want to know that your partner will have your back and that you can count on them for anything. Building trust in a relationship takes time, but being vulnerable with your partner will help the walls come down little by little.

Any successful relationship requires a commitment to your partner to make it work. If you want to remain with this person long-term, you need to embrace both their negative and positive qualities. However, you shouldn’t dwell on their negative traits, which will skew your image and perception of them. You will start noticing more of the things that you find annoying about them rather than what you adore about their personality.

In other words, admire them for their positive traits and learn to accept their flaws. If you can do this, it will ensure a successful union for life. Also, make trust your foundation early on in the relationship, as everything else hinges upon it.

So, why is trust more important than love in a relationship?

  1. You can’t have love without trust.

If you can’t count on your partner and you feel uneasy around them, you can’t possibly become vulnerable enough to fall in love. Love will fade over time because some days, you’ll get under each other’s skin and take each other for granted. Other days, it’ll feel like you just met and you want to spend all your time with them. However, these feelings will fluctuate with the situations and experiences you go through as a couple.

Trust will remain steady throughout your relationship as long as you don’t do anything to betray it. If you stay faithful to your partner and put their needs first, you’ll never have a doubt in your mind if you can trust them or not.

  1. It allows you to have boundaries in the relationship.

If you have love without trust, it may lead to codependency and attachment issues. However, if you cultivate trust, it brings a sense of security into the relationship. You can each go your separate ways at times without having to worry about each other’s whereabouts constantly. This way, you can develop a strong marriage by having your alone time as well as time spent together.

  1. You’ll have a sense of peace when you have trust in a relationship.

Without trust, you constantly feel on edge or just unsure of where you stand with your partner. Will they suddenly break up with you or say they’ve been seeing someone else? Do they want a future with you? If you cannot answer these questions honestly, you need to have a serious talk with your partner and communicate your needs.

Everyone deserves to have a loving, supportive relationship where they can fully trust their partner. The person you love should eliminate your stress, not add to it by being unclear about their intentions. When you find a secure partnership, you’ll have a sense of peace.

  1. Trust allows you to gauge how much you give of yourself to others.

If you don’t trust someone, you won’t want to open up to them about the details of your life. Trust gives us a way to decide the level of emotional intimacy we wish to experience with someone. It helps us control our emotions, in a way, because not everyone gains access to the deepest parts of ourselves. Trust in a relationship helps peel back our layers, slowly showing our partner more vulnerable sides of ourselves.

  1. Love is blind, but trust never fails you.

You can love someone who might not love you back in the same way. You could bend over backward for someone you’ve fallen head over heels for, but that doesn’t guarantee they’ll reciprocate. Many people get involved in one-sided relationships where the other person doesn’t have their best interests in mind, unfortunately. When you jump too quickly into a relationship out of loneliness or desperation, you may not see the person.

However, if you build upon the relationship slowly and get to know the person, you can establish trust. This way, you can gauge if your partner deserves your time, commitment, and heart. While love can overpower and blind you, faith will illuminate your path and steer you in the right direction.

Final thoughts on why trust is more important than love in relationships

Any healthy marriage or relationship requires trust as the foundation; without it, love cannot grow. You can’t plant a garden without tending to the soil; similarly, you can’t have a thriving relationship without establishing trust. All successful relationships require this faith because it helps you grow closer to people. It enables you to realize how much of yourself you should give away based on their input.

If someone only gives you 50%, why should you bother giving them 100%? If you care about trust in a relationship, make sure of your partner’s intentions before committing fully to them.

Lifestyle

10 Reasons Why No One Should Beg for Love from Their Partner

10 Reasons Why No One Should Beg for Love from


Nobody should need to beg for love from their partner. Ever. Period.

If you have to beg for love, you are in a bad relationship. This behavior isn’t something that should have to be done in any relationship. It’s a sign that your partner isn’t as dedicated as you are and that the feelings may not be equal.

A relationship is supposed to be a true partnership, and it requires two people to complete it. Both partners should work together to show affection or overcome issues. If only one partner is doing this, there is going to be a never-ending cycle of negativity.

If you find yourself in a relationship in which you have to ask for attention and affection, it’s a bad relationship. Your partner should be putting in as much energy as you are. Otherwise, you’ll be forcing the relationship along by yourself.

Aside from making you feel empty and lonely, there are many other reasons you should never beg for love. If you have to beg, it’s a sign that you aren’t their priority and likely never will be. You must think first about yourself and your well-being and decide that it’s time to move on.

Ten Reasons Why Nobody Should Beg for Love

Learning to appreciate yourself will help to boost your self-confidence. Know what you are worth!

1. Someone Else Will do The Things They Won’t

If your partner isn’t doing the things you need from them, it’s not your fault. Don’t beg for them to do something they aren’t interested in. You can find someone else who will be full engaged in the relationship.

Someone who is fully dedicated to the relationship will be able to connect emotionally. Your significant other will be supportive and interested in what is going on in your life. Plus, they will want to spend as much time with you as they can.

The person who wants to be with you won’t leave you feeling like your self-worth is diminished. You will feel happy and fulfilled after spending time with them. Remember, if you have to beg, it’s a bad relationship.

 2. They May Not Be Ready

If your partner isn’t showing love, it could be a sign they aren’t ready for the relationship you need. No matter what you do or say, you can’t force them to be prepared.

Don’t waste your time trying to change someone who can’t be changed. Wait for a partner to come along who is ready when you are and who won’t hurt you in the process. Your well-being is more important than their lack of being willing.

3. They Don’t Appreciate You

If you have to beg, it’s a clear sign they don’t appreciate you, which means they don’t deserve you. You shouldn’t waste time praying for the love of someone who doesn’t deserve it. Eventually, someone who does appreciate you will come along and treat you the way you deserve to be.

Since your happiness is essential, you should never have to beg someone to treat you well. Instead, save your energy for someone who will never have to be asked twice to show you affection.

4. Begging Won’t Make Your Partner Love You

You cannot force someone to love you, and no amount of begging will change their mind. Just like with you, you can’t force an emotion to be happy. So, if this person doesn’t care to give you love, attention, or affection now, they’ll likely never care to.

5. It Extends Your Recovery Time

If your partner isn’t all-in, you’re going to feel sad and lonely often throughout the relationship. Eventually, the relationship will end one way or another. So, you shouldn’t spend your time being upset about the way you feel in your relationship.

You already feel bad that they aren’t giving you love and affection, so you might as well end it instead. The pain will occur in both instances, but do not force this relationship to work. Instead, move on. You will get through the hurt more quickly. By dragging the connection on any longer, you’ll only be pushing back your healing timeline.

6. It Can Stop You from Meeting the Right Person

When you are putting your energy into someone who doesn’t love you, you could be missing out on something better. There is, indeed, someone special out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Do not let the right one pass you by because you are trying to gain the affection of someone who doesn’t want it.

If you stay in a poor relationship with someone you have to beg, the right person won’t be an option. Don’t put yourself in this position because you deserve true happiness and love someday.

7. It Can Cause Your Self-Worth to Diminish

Your self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence will all take a massive hit if you beg for love from your partner. It’s demeaning to you, as well, and will make you feel like you are unworthy. You have to remember that you are worthy and that it is your partner’s loss.

A relationship should only make you want to be better, and it should make you happy more often than sad. It should boost your feelings of confidence and make you feel secure about who you are. It should never cause your self-worth to be diminished.

Here are twelve signs that your significant other is ruining your self-esteem.

8. You are Perfect for Someone Else

Even though no one is perfect, you are perfect for someone. Remember this and remind yourself that if you have to beg your partner for love, you aren’t ideal for them. Don’t waste the fantastic things you have to offer on someone who doesn’t see how special you are.

Someone will want to be there for all you have to offer and for your flaws. They will love your imperfections just as much as they love everything else about you. Wait for that person who will accept everything about you and love you just the same, it’s worth it.

9. It Gives Your Partner the Upper Hand

When you beg for love, it makes the other person feel like they are above you. If the relationship continues after you beg, their treatment of you will only be worse because of it. The connection will never be equal, and you will always feel like something is missing.

They may use the begging against you and make it sound like they did you a favor. Or, the person could even use your plea as a tool to hurt you further by creating a joke out of it. Don’t make it even easier on your partner to hurt you.

Even worse, they may use it as an opportunity to use you. They would see that you are willing to do anything to gain their love. This scenario could lead to them, making you do things you aren’t comfortable with or that make you unhappy.

10. You Shouldn’t Have to Prove Your Worth

If your partner doesn’t see your worth, they don’t deserve your time or energy. You are worthy of someone who wants to spend time with you and who loves you. When that special someone wants to be with you and values who you are, they will make every effort to be there.

Instead of feeling so badly in your relationship, it’s better to wait it out until someone amazing comes along. This will help your self-esteem and confidence, and it will give you the chance to meet new people.

What to Do to Avoid Feeling You Must Beg for Your Partner’s Love

If your partner doesn’t answer your phone calls, stop calling them. Plus, if they are never the ones to call first, stop being the one to connect.

Either they will notice that your presence is missing, or you will realize that you deserve better. As your calls go unanswered, you will only feel worse, so avoid it, and it will help you move on.

Don’t wait for your partner, either. If you’re not positive, they’ll come through for plans or to talk. Please do what you want to do and make plans as you feel like it. If they wanted to spend time with you, they would have set up schedules or let you know they wanted to.

Take this time to realize that you will find someone who values you and cherishes your time spent together. You shouldn’t beg for love, because then you’ll never know what real love is like. Someone else will cherish you the way you are looking for.

Finally, learn to love yourself. If you can truly love yourself, you won’t feel like you have to beg for love from anyone. You will know your value and know that you deserve more than you are receiving. Loving yourself will help you wait for the right person to come along, and you’ll be available when they do.

Final Thoughts on Reasons Why Nobody Should Beg for Love from Their Partner

If you feel like you must beg for love for your partner, you have to do what is best for you. Remember to value yourself and give your time to those who willingly give their time, too. Instead, fill your life with people who love you and make you feel happy.

You deserve to be happy and to have everything you ever wanted in a relationship. If you beg for love, you aren’t getting what you wanted and what you deserve.

Lifestyle

Therapists Reveal 13 Reasons Couples Fall Out of Love

Therapists Reveal 13 Reasons Couples Fall Out of Love


Is your union secure, and you feel that you will never fall out of love? Don’t be so sure that you and your partner are solid. You’ve probably heard that 50 percent of all marriages in this country end in divorce.

The American Psychological Association backs up this statistic. Breaking up is hard to do, yet sadly many couples don’t make it beyond the five-year mark. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to tell if you and your significant other will fall out of love long before it happens?

Thankfully, there are ways to tell if your relationship will last. You can examine things like your communication skills, bedroom habits, and how often you argue as indicators if you will make it for the long haul.

Here are thirteen signs that point to a rocky relationship that might not make it to forever.

1. You Take Your Anger Out on Each Other

Did you know that when you love someone, you are more likely to take your anger out on them? The key is that you interact more with your partner than you do anyone else, so it’s only natural to take out some of your frustrations on them. A study conducted in 2014 showed that this aggression is harmful to a relationship, and it pushes your lover away rather than bringing them closer to you.

2. There’s No Gratitude

Do you appreciate it when your partner spends the whole day cleaning and making a home-cooked meal for you? You should always pay attention to the smallest of things, and make sure you thank them for their efforts. Did you know that when you take a partner for granted, you undermine your relationship?

When you forget to say how thankful you are for their efforts, then you can compromise the physical and emotional health of the relationship. Gratitude should always be a part of your love language.

3. You Try to Change Each Other

One of the easiest ways to fall out of love is when a person won’t align with your perfect idea of a mate. Did you get together with your partner in the hopes that they would become someone else? Having a long-term relationship with someone who you want to change is never going to work.

Have you ever heard the old saying that a tiger doesn’t change their stripes? It’s because they can’t change who and what they are to appease you. Sure, some natural changes occur when you’re in love, but don’t expect to make them an entirely new person to fill your needs as it won’t work.

4. You Forgive, But You Don’t Forget

Every relationship has issues that require you to ask for forgiveness. While you forgive your partner, you must also forget the matter. Now, your brain can’t forget, but you can’t bring up the previous issues every time they make you mad in the future.

When one person is keeping score of the other’s wrongdoings, it sets a negative relationship dynamic. Part of loving and forgiving your spouse means that you release the issue and don’t use it to browbeat your partner with in the future.

5. There Are Trust Issues

When there are trust issues in a union, it makes for a rocky relationship. Sure, trust is not an easy thing to build, mostly if you’ve been burnt in the past. However, you must have a little faith in the person you are with if you want to grow old together.

When the foundation of your relationship is shaky from mistrust, then you can ensure that there will be physical and emotional problems with your union. At one point, you can almost guarantee that your partner will become tired of the trust issues and walk.

6. The Relationship is Full of Secrets

Do you have secrets that you keep from your partner? When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s no fun to keep secrets. Sadly, many secrets cause you to lie.

When a partner tells the other that you can’t handle the truth, then they are saying that they don’t trust you with everything. Secrets in a relationship are one sure way to fall out of love.

7. There is No Compromise

What fun is a relationship if you never get any say? If you pick the restaurant this week, then your partner should get to choose next time. When one person dominates the union and makes all the decisions, it’s hard for the other person to feel important. Relationships are all about give and take, and compromise is essential.

8. You’re Not on The Same Page

For a relationship to be successful, you must both be going in the same direction. While you may think that love conquers all, it doesn’t. You must agree on the fundamentals, like if you want kids, saving money, and where you will live.

It’s easy to fall out of love when your goals don’t align. The differences between you and your spouse may start as a small annoyance, but they can fester into a significant wedge if allowed.

9. You Won’t Take Any Blame

Remember, as a kid, when nothing was ever your fault? You would always point your finger at your sibling or a friend to keep from getting into trouble. Sadly, this behavior can carry on with you into adulthood, causing you all kinds of problems.

You are not perfect, and your spouse can’t expect that you will be. However, it would help if you took your share of the blame with household and relationship issues. Let’s assume that you go over your grocery budget by $500 this month.

Rather than putting all the blame on your spouse, you must also take your part in the responsibility. Even if your partner does all the grocery shopping and cooking, you still have a hand in the matter. It may be that they need help with this aspect and rely on fast food and fancy eateries to cope with a lack of time.

Since groceries and eating is something you both enjoy, you must equally take responsibility in matters such as this one. Don’t be so eager to blame shift, or it’s one of the signs that you will fall out of love.

10. There Are Unrealistic Standards

Humans make mistakes, as no one is perfect. Your spouse is doing the best they can, but they are not infallible. If you expect your partner to be 100 percent perfect all the time, then you have unrealistic expectations.

When one person has such high requirements of the other one, it’s easy to become frustrated. Your partner will think that they can never please you, and you will feel that your partner doesn’t measure up. Stop playing the judge and quit expecting perfection.

11. You See Your Partner as Inferior

Relationships, where one person elevates their worth above the other is a recipe for disaster. When you have contempt for your significant other, it’s a telltale sign that divorce is looming. Do you continuously criticize what they do, show disrespect, are defensive, and stonewall them?

These are all indications that there is a deep rift in the union. A study in 2010 found that when one party shows content for the other, then it’s the “kiss of death” in a relationship.

12. Your Emotions Share No Similarity

Everyone has different emotions, but it can complicate things when conflict arises. If one person cries when they feel rage while the other hardly sheds a tear, it can be hard to be on the same page. Your emotional ranges don’t have to be the same, but they need to complement the other one.

For instance, if one person tends to shout and call names when you’re arguing, it can make the timid person who would never say anything wrong about you feel awful. You should have emotional similarities, or the imbalance can cause you to fall out of love.

13. You Stop Going on Dates

It takes a lot of hard work to keep a relationship alive, and it’s easy to fall into old routines. Once you commit to living together, you must try hard to make sure that romance doesn’t become automatic. Most couples waste their time on mundane tasks like grocery shopping, paying bills, or working.

However, everyday life can be far from romantic or exciting. You must make a special effort to ensure that you still do all those little things to keep the spark alive. Take your partner to the movies or out to a nice dinner.

You must put as much work into your relationship to keep your spouse as you did to attract them. Yes, you must still go on dates, even if you’ve been together for 20 years.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing the Traps That Cause Couples to Fall Out of Love

Do you see things on this list that show that you are in a rocky relationship? You can alter the course of your union by making some changes now. If you can’t seem to get on the same page with your partnership, then ask a counselor to help you sort things out.

It’s easy to fall out of love when massive issues make everyday life together challenging. So, if these issues exist, then you must work hard to alter then for the sake of your relationship.

Lifestyle

15 Romantic Gestures to Show Love to Your Boyfriend

15 Romantic Gestures to Show Love to Your Boyfriend


If you’ve been with your boyfriend for any length of time, then you know it’s hard to buy for a guy. Are you running out of ideas for the perfect gift for your partner? Men are traditionally the ones who give to the woman, and it’s hard to reverse the roles.

Many believe that men aren’t hopeless romantics, but nothing could be further from the truth. They just aren’t as good at showing their feelings. Men can be quite sensitive and even romantic, but they aren’t going to let you see that side very often. Even macho guys love being showered and adorned with gifts.

Fifteen Romantic Gestures and Gift Ideas

Since it’s not easy to come up with gift ideas for your guy, here are some that are perfect for the man in your life.

1. Read Your Boyfriend a Book

Do you remember the excitement you felt in school when one of your teachers read you a book? You can invoke those same beautiful feelings by reading to your boyfriend. You can choose a romantic novel or one that is about a topic he likes.

Take a half-hour or so before bed and snuggle under the covers and read to him. It will be an extraordinary moment he will never forget.

2. Sing to Him

If you have a good voice, then you may want to serenade him. What partner won’t feel weak at the knees at the sound of your angelic voice? Does he have a favorite song? Practice this tune and maybe add some piano or guitar accompaniments.

3. Pack His Lunch Complete with a Love Letter

Everyone is concerned about their budget and their waistline. Why not pack your boyfriend a lunch of some of his favorite things? He will appreciate the gesture, and when you add a handwritten letter inside, he won’t be able to stop smiling the rest of the day.

4. Have a Candlelight Dinner with All His Favorite Foods

Every guy has their favorite foods that instantly takes them to their comfort zone. By now, you should know a few of these entrees. Why not show him what a hopeless romantic you are with a candlelight dinner? When it comes to dessert, you can get a little bit creative.

5. Put a Love Note on His Windshield

Everyone hates getting flyers on their windshield. It’s annoying to stop and remove them before driving away. Putting a love note on his windshield is something that will make him stop and smile.

It’s unique because you took time out of your day to make sure your boyfriend knew how much you loved him. It just might be what he needs to make it through work.

6. Take Him on a Picnic

Is there anything more romantic than a picnic in the park with delicious food? Bring a beautiful big blanket and spread out under a tree. Why not bring along the book you’re reading him and go through a few chapters? It will be a special time of being close and relaxing with food and a good novel.

7. Have a Lunch Delivery at Work

Why not surprise the one you love with a special delivery at work? Chinese anyone? Won’t he be shocked when a paid order comes to him, courtesy of you? It’s the little things that you do in life to show someone how much they mean that counts.

8. Buy Him Something He’s Been Wanting

Is there something that your boyfriend has wanted for a long time? Maybe a new cell phone, watch, or another collectible? It doesn’t have to be a special occasion for you to buy him a gift.

Why not surprise him with something special for no other reason than “just because?” The unexpected gift that comes out of nowhere is the best and most memorable one.

You don’t need to spend a ton of money or break the bank for these surprise gifts. Remember, it’s supposed to show him how much you feel about him.

9. Write Him a Poem or Love Song

Do you have an artistic side or a musical ability? Nothing would be more special than a poem or song that’s written specifically about your love story. If you can encapsulate the romance and passion as well as putting the magic into words, it will be something that you will both treasure for the rest of your lives.

If you don’t tend to be artistic, then you can have someone write the song for you. It doesn’t matter who writes it as long as the story is yours.

hopeless romantic
Science explains why it is okay to be a hopeless romantic.

10. Put Together a Scrap Book or Memory Album

There’s probably been plenty of selfies and other pictures that you’ve taken throughout your relationship. Why not print those photos out and make a memory book about the story of your love?

Customized gifts like this are so unique and will give him a special token of your love. He can pull out this book and flip through it during dark times, and it will bring him much joy.

Additionally, if you’re not into scrapbooking, then you can do a digital book too. Many sites are geared at creating such a book about your love, and they are very affordable and easy to do.

11. Let Him Have Control of the TV and Remote

It sounds like a small gesture that doesn’t mean anything, but when you’re always fighting over the TV, it’s a nice break to surrender. Let him watch his favorite programming and enjoy some time without the intrusion of your program choices. Who said you had to spend a lot of money to give him a romantic and sweet gesture?

12. Give Him Extra Cuddle Time

Don’t think for one minute that guys don’t like to cuddle too, but there just never seems to be enough time. Make sure that you allow at least a half of an hour each day to cuddle. During this time, talk about your dream and plans and reassure each other of your love.

After a stressful day at work and dealing with kids, you both need this downtime. Lying together and hearing each other’s heartbeat is a way to connect on a spiritual level.

Sometimes, it’s best not to say a word but just allow your bodies to touch and be united. Just the feeling of closeness is sometimes all you need to keep going.

13. Write Him a List of All the Things You Love About Him

Your boyfriend needs reassurance just like you do about your relationship. Why not write a list of all the things you love about him? If he’s having a bad day, or you two are on the brink of breaking up, then this list may be the thing that keeps him going.

When you create a point of reference that puts feelings into written form, it gives him the strength and courage to fight another day.

14. Give Him a Bubble Bath

Okay, so a bubble bath seems like a girl thing to do. However, there are plenty of guys that love a nice bubble bath too. Light some candles, get his favorite champagne and let him soak the cares of life away.

If your guy is a hopeless romantic, then he will undoubtedly enjoy some mood music too. It can be very sensual to wash his hair and back for him and just be there enjoying the ambiance. Plus, soaking in hot water is an excellent way to relieve tired and aching muscles.

You could do a shower for two if you don’t have a tub, complete with a gentle massage. It’s okay to fuss over your guy a little bit as he will enjoy it.

15. Put a Scarf with Your Perfume in His Car

If you hardly get any time with your boyfriend because of work or distance, then you should try something that keeps you close. Do you have a perfume that you wear that he finds fantastic? Why not spray a scarf or other memento with that scent and stick it in his car?

He can have your aroma with him wherever he goes, and it might be something beautiful if distance separates you. If you don’t have any clothing you want to give up, you can write him a love letter and spray it with your cologne, and you should seal it with a lipstick kiss. He might like that even better.

Final Thoughts on Using These Tender and Sweet Ways to Show Love to Your Boyfriend

Life is chaotic and hectic, and you must remind yourself that you need to take time to stop and smell the roses. You must find the little opportunities that you have to do something special.

There should be some sort of tenderness between you and your partner every day. Don’t let the cares of life get him or you down. Do little things to build him up and show him how much he is loved.

Lifestyle

Therapists Explain Why You Must Show Vulnerability to Find True Love

Therapists Explain Why You Must Show Vulnerability to Find True


It seems like vulnerability is a big topic these days in people looking for their soul mate.

What does being vulnerable mean anyway? It merely involves putting yourself in a position that you could either be hurt physically or emotionally.

It sounds easy to let down your defenses when it comes to the one you love, but it’s not as easy as it may appear. You have a natural defense mechanism that is there to protect you from being hurt, and when you let down your guard, it means exposing the most intimate parts of yourself.

Many people push away love because they don’t like to share some of the most intimate parts of their hearts, and it’s quite scary to expose yourself. When something goes wrong, the first thing you want to do is withdraw from the situation to avoid getting hurt. However, what if you stay and work through it?

Is it possible to control your natural-born instinct to defend yourself? So many people are missing out on love because they prefer to isolate and withhold the secret, innermost parts of their hearts. To accept and express affection requires vulnerability, and if you don’t master this art, then you may never find your true love.

Engage in The Act of Generosity

Generosity and vulnerability go hand-in-hand, according to the London Journal of Primary Care. Moreover, it improves your general feeling of wellness.

When you’re generous, you are showing an outward expression of the compassion and sensitivity you have deep inside. Being generous to a partner will show that you are willing to give your time and energy to help them.

Let’s assume your partner is sick and needs assistance. When they’re ill and can’t get out of bed, that’s when they need you the most. So, you clean their apartment and bring them chicken soup and tea. You’re allowing yourself to see them at their worst, and they are accepting your gift and showing their vulnerability too.

Remember, being vulnerable is a two-way street. You’re not on your “A” game when you are down and out and sick. When you do a generous act like taking care of an ill person, it gives you both a sense of gratification. Another benefit is it helps to counteract the human desire to withhold from others.

Authentic generosity

You open yourself up for emotional exchanges that you might not have the opportunity for when you isolate. Make a strong effort to give in a situation where you normally would stand back. Don’t expect any reciprocal treatment for the act, but you should do something kind to help another person.

If you make a nice gesture in the hopes of getting something in return, then you miss out on the true spirit of generosity. Plus, you won’t learn how to be vulnerable. There are many ways that you can be generous. The easiest way to do so is by buying gifts or giving money.

However, these acts are a little less emotional and don’t have the same psychological impact as something that comes from the heart. To be labeled a generous person, you must be willing to drop everything in your schedule to lend a helping hand. You will notice that you will look for opportunities to respond to people in need, even if it’s just offering a shoulder to cry on.

Commitment to your relationship

When you’re in a committed relationship, there should always be acts of generosity that go back and forth. You must learn to receive as much as you give, which can also be difficult for some. It’s the same reason why some women don’t like to have the doors opened and closed for them.

Allowing someone to do something for you takes away your power to do it for yourself. Sure, any woman can open her car door, but it’s something special when her partner does it for her. It shows that he or she will take care of her and go the extra mile to protect her.

Generosity is physical and emotional

Keep in mind that generosity isn’t just a physical display, either. Your words and actions can also be giving. Compliment your love on how they look and help them to destroy any negative self-image they may have. While this gift doesn’t cost a dime, its value is priceless.

Lastly, when you give to someone else, you feel liberated, energized, and less defensive. It will teach you how to be fulfilled in relationships. Many say that it’s essential to your emotional wellbeing, but it’s also a moral way to live your life.

Be Clear About Your Wants and Needs

Another way that you can show your vulnerability is by communicating your wants and needs. Your self-protective defense wants you to keep your desires hidden, and in many instances, people turn to others to find gratification for those desires. When you hide your agenda, you risk falling into narcissism, according to researchers.

Additionally, during your isolated times, you develop an attitude that you don’t need anyone else, and you can take care of yourself. It’s weird to ask someone for a need as it puts you in an inferior state where you may feel shame, and when you feel guilt, it’s often a painful emotion that you relate to childhood events.

Many children go through life longing to be understood, seen by others, loved, and touched by affection. Sadly, many didn’t get their needs met, so they develop a shame when they ask for friendship and humiliation because they will never seem like anything more than an unlovable child.

Even in their adult life, they feel the pangs of humiliation asking their partner for the things they need. It may be as simple as needing to hear at least once each day the words “I love you.” Yet, many can’t even bring themselves to ask for such a simple request.

If you want to meet and build a relationship with your soul mate, then you must be vulnerable. It will require overcoming your resistance to communicate with that person about your wants and needs. This also puts you in an uncomfortable position because you are putting yourself out there for a rejection or even frustration.

Thankfully, when you make these simple requests based on your needs, you will become stronger and more aware that you are no longer a child who feels pushed into the corner. There’s no shame or humiliation in asking for your needs to be met.

Offer and Receive Affection

You encourage vulnerability when you both offer and accept affection from others. Over time, you will learn that your soul mate isn’t going to use your vulnerable times to control you. When you share warmth and love with others, then you are making a statement that you’re ready to receive it in return.

Affection is both verbal and physical. It can be playful, tender, caring, or seductive. However, it’s given, it’s an outward expression of your generous nature and fulfilling the needs of others as well as asking for your needs to be filled.

But, how do you achieve this?

At first, you may feel a bit anxious or uncomfortable as these behaviors are new and challenging to display. You need to protect yourself will undoubtedly come into play too. There’s always the risk that you will be hurt, or someone will take advantage of your generous nature.

However, if you hold steadfast and put your doubts aside, then you will learn why vulnerability in love is so essential. Research proves that individuals who had issues from their childhood that stem from abandonment, controlling, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, and neglect often have problems with vulnerability. These people withdrawal into themselves and walk on eggshells around others.

It makes it hard to have a meaningful relationship with someone who isn’t emotionally available. However, you can teach someone to be more vulnerable by giving them the tools they need to build confidence. Working with a therapist is a great place to start. If you want long and meaningful relationships, you must open yourself to the innermost parts you hide from others.

Final Thoughts on the Connection Between Vulnerability and Falling in Love

The beauty of finding your “person” or partner in life is that this is the one that understands you better than anyone else. Some people note that they find it easier to let down their walls when it’s with the right one.

Your partner will make you feel like an equal and not less than in life. Research indicates that with therapy, your childhood battles, and feelings of abandonment and neglect, can melt away when you’re in a safe place. What is it that you hold back in love, and how has it affected your ability to have meaningful relationships?

If you’ve been unlucky in love, perhaps it’s time to explore if your lack of a vulnerable nature had anything to do with it. You can learn to open and expose those secretive places to someone who isn’t there to hurt you, but they only wish to help.

Lifestyle

Homemade Trail Mix: 5 Healthy Recipes You’ll Love Snacking on

Homemade Trail Mix: 5 Healthy Recipes You'll Love Snacking on


Homemade Trail Mix: 5 Healthy Recipes You’ll Love Snacking on

Whether you’re hiking up a mountain or lounging around the house, trail mix is a quick and guilt-free snack choice.

Depending on your type of mix, different homemade trail mix recipes have different benefits. From healthy fats to antioxidants, there’s a variety of blends that you can choose from to suit your tastes and needs.

We’ve compiled a list of trail mix recipes that will help fuel your next hike or serve as a healthy snack!

5 Healthy Homemade Trail Mix Recipes

Creating a trail mix recipe is a fun task that involves picking your favorite healthy snacks and putting them all together.

However, we recommend strategically pairing certain snacks together for the ultimate nutrient intake. Combining a type of nut, fruit, and seed is just the start. Have fun with it!

Here are some trail mix recipes with a healthy twist. For each of these recipes, mix the ingredients into a large bowl, then pack them away in a tightly sealed bag or container.

1. Granola Trail Mix

Granola is a fantastic addition to trail mix, as it adds low-fat fiber to your snack. This simple granola recipe will keep you full and satisfied. The peanuts and sunflower seeds offer a subtle salty flavor that pairs well with the rest of the ingredients.

Recipe

  • 1 cup of low-fat granola
  • 1/2 cup of peanuts
  • 1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup of raisins
  • 1/3 cup of sunflower seeds

2. Salty and Sweet Trail Mix

Mixing sweet and salty ingredients will solve both cravings when they strike. Plus, the dark chocolate chips add a healthy sweet addition alongside the addition of tart cranberries.

Recipe

  • 1 cup of salted peanuts or cashews
  • 1/2 cup of salted pretzels
  • 1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup of dried cranberries
  • 1/2 cup of pumpkin seeds

3. Fruit and Nut Trail Mix

This recipe is for the dried fruit fans. With its variety of dried fruits and hints of chocolate, this snack provides a sugary tart flavor with every bite. The addition of almonds provides essential healthy fats and fiber into this snack. You can substitute banana chips for coconut chips for a tropical twist.

Recipe

  • 1/2 cup of dried banana chips or coconut chips
  • 1/2 cup of dried cranberries
  • 1/2 of dried strawberries
  • 1/3 cup of dark chocolate chips
  • 1/3 cup of almonds

4. Tastes Like Candy Trail Mix

On days where you really want to reach for a cookie, this trail mix is the perfect substitute. The M&Ms, dark chocolate chips, raisins, and a sprinkle of antioxidant-packed goji berry powder provide a sugar rush without the guilt. 

Recipe

  • 1 cup of cashews
  • 1/2 cup of almonds
  • 1/2 cup of M&Ms
  • 1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup of raisins
  • 2 tablespoons of goji berry powder

5. Sweet and Spicy Trail Mix

This nut-filled recipe is for the spicy food fans. With a mix of homemade spicy cashews and wasabi chips, your trail mix will pack a flavorful punch. For the tastiest results, roast the nuts in the oven at 350° for around 10 minutes. After roasting the nuts, combine the ingredients into a mix.

Recipe

  • 1/2 cup of spicy cashews
  • 1/2 cup of wasabi chips
  • 1/2 cup of honey-roasted peanuts
  • 1/2 cup of butter toffee peanuts
  • 1/2 cup of candied almonds

Pack the Perfect Snack

Each homemade trail mix variation has its health benefits. It doesn’t matter if your ideal trail mix recipe has cashews instead of almonds—your snack has all of the essential nutrients you need for your next adventure.

Check out our blog for more informative articles!

Lifestyle

How to Spot a Serial Cheater Before You Fall in Love

How to Spot a Serial Cheater Before You Fall in


Just because you enjoy sharing with others doesn’t mean you want to share your love. Most people prefer to be their mate’s one-and-only and consider cheating a deal-breaker. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you could spot a serial cheater before falling in love with him?

Yes, many people go through life in countless casual relationships, free of commitment. They are upfront in the beginning and let the other person know that their love life is a revolving door. For them, cheating isn’t an issue since they have been honest and aren’t interested in committing to anyone.

Perhaps you’re like most people in America who prefer a monogamous relationship. Of course, you needn’t be married to be in a committed relationship. If you have a mutual agreement as a couple, you will consider having anyone on the side as cheating.

How can you be sure that you aren’t beginning a new relationship with a serial cheater? Is finding a lifelong love worth risking heartbreak? Alfred Lord Tennyson believed so when he wrote that losing in love is better than never finding it.

Dealing with matters of the heart is a risky business. If you’ve been in toxic relationships in the past, you may be hesitant to try again. When a serial cheater breaks your heart, it’s understandable that you’d have trust issues.

How to Spot a Cheater

So, you’ve met a guy who meets all your love material criteria. He’s handsome, charming, and has a rewarding career. After dating for a while, you can picture yourselves as a forever couple. He seems to say all the right things and has his life together, or does he?

Before you step out on a limb for love, set your heart aside for a moment and listen to your intuition. It’s easy for your heart to be oblivious to red flags in a relationship. Protect yourself from a toxic relationship and learn to recognize these signs that your person may be a serial cheater.

1 – He’s Got a Sordid History of Broken Relationships

Very few people are lucky in love once, and it lasts a lifetime. Most people date and have a couple of serious relationships before they find their forever partner. Just because you aren’t your man’s first love interest doesn’t mean he is a cheater.

However, be suspicious if he openly brags about all the women he’s loved and dumped. Do you want to be another checkmark in his little black book? Most serial cheaters have a sketchy reputation, and it might be worth your while to reconsider trusting him.

2 – He is Rarely Available for You

It takes two people to tango, so why does he have you dancing solo so often? Even married couples have jobs and other responsibilities that keep them apart for a few hours or days. You shouldn’t expect your man to be available every minute of the day.

If he loves you, shouldn’t he want to communicate with you regularly? It’s not that you wish to him psycho calling or texting you constantly, which is a tell-tale sign he’s either a control freak or is desperate. You don’t need that situation, either.

Does he seem to have difficulty penciling time with you into his schedule? Why do most of your texts go unanswered, and your calls go instantly to voicemail? Maybe he is juggling dates and invitations from another woman.

3 – He is More into Himself

A man who takes pride in his appearance and exudes self-confidence is quite attractive. However, no woman wants to be in a relationship with a narcissist who hogs the mirror. Do you know that instant turn-off you get when you meet a guy who thinks he is a divine gift to women?

Yes, you want your man to dress nicely and have a gentleman’s manners. Does your current beau take it to the extreme and can think of nothing else but his vanity? This guy may be used to strutting his stuff around more than one lady.

4 – He Shamelessly Flirts with Other Women Around You

While even the best guy may naturally be a bit flirtatious, it takes a lot of gall if he is checking out other women in your presence. If he is in a steady relationship with you, you certainly have a right to expect his full attention.

The next time you’re out with your lover, watch how he interacts with the opposite gender. Is he always chatting up the pretty servers at the restaurants as if you weren’t even there? Does he act a little too flirty around your best girlfriends?

5 – Clues that go Unsaid

It doesn’t take long for a serial cheater to get a bad reputation around town, leaving a trail of broken hearts and vengeful spirits. So, he moves his nefarious love schemes to another town or even another state. After a while, he’s up to his old tricks, and you may be caught in the crosshairs.

When you’re together in public, have you noticed glances from women you don’t know? Has he ever seemed shifty and nervous when an unfamiliar lady enters the room? Maybe a woman at another table gives you a one-second look of pity, then looks away.

These nonverbal clues might be your signal to rethink your new relationship. He may have forgotten the fury of a scorned woman, but their apparent glares say it all. Before you join their ranks, you might not want to get too attached to him.

6 – You Are the Other Woman

We all know that two’s company and three is a crowd, especially in a love relationship. Perhaps the reason your new romantic interest is acting so peculiar and vague is that he’s already attached. Even worse, he could be married and have a houseful of children in another town.

If you forgo the voice of your conscience and stick with him, things may get ugly. Even if he decides to break up with his other girlfriend or divorce his wife, you may live with a tinge of guilt in the future. If this guy used you to cheat on someone else, the chances are that he will eventually cheat on you.

7 – He Acts Suspiciously

Yes, we’ve all done things that haven’t made us proud, and we don’t advertise them. However, relationships must be built on trust, which means you don’t hide things from each other. If your new beau seems vague about his past, his job, or even what he did yesterday, what is he hiding?

If he guards his phone like a secret service agent, it should be a red flag. Why does he go into the other room when he’s texting or talking on the phone? Does he seem antsy if you ask to borrow his phone, or does he carry it with him even to the bathroom?

When you’re on a date, and his phone is Grand Central Station, is he vague and dismissive when you ask about it? If it was nobody on the phone, then why does nobody keep calling and texting? He could be entertaining another woman by text while you are sitting right across from him.

Be aware of his body language when he talks to you because it may reveal if he’s lying to you. Does he have difficulty making eye contact with you, or does he seem jittery when you ask serious questions? If he is lying to you about one thing, could he be lying about being unfaithful to you?

8 – His Social Media Presence Doesn’t Include You

Do you suspect that your lover may be a serial cheater? A few simple online investigations can offer you clues. Check out his social media pages and notice his profile and picture sections. Why would he still say that he is single and available instead of in a relationship?

Are his photo albums loaded with pictures of you both having fun as a couple? How many photos of unfamiliar women do you see who are still leaving flirty comments to his posts? If he has current profiles listed on prominent Internet dating sites, your relationship is in trouble.

9 – His Conversations are Superficial About Commitment

Forging a committed relationship is nothing to take lightly. While you needn’t get married, it’s assumed that both partners pledge to be faithful and won’t cheat. A serial cheater is so used to cheating that even hearing the word commitment or fidelity makes him nervous.

He has honed his courting skills to perfection, and he tries to say everything he thinks you want to hear. Did he start the early stages of your relationship with crafty clichés like he’s never felt this way before, or can’t breathe without you? He is breathing fine after telling the last thirty women the same lines before dumping them and playing you.

Final Thoughts on Unmasking a Serial Cheater, Once and for All

When you’re falling in love, you hope it’s with someone who loves you in return and will be faithful. If you have a suspicion that your current beau may be a serial cheater, trust your instincts. Refuse to allow him or anyone else to betray your trust because you deserve better.

Lifestyle

Therapist Explains How to Grieve the Loss of Your Love Relationship »

Therapist Explains How to Grieve the Loss of Your Love


Breaking up with your partner is like a death. It’s almost impossible to move on as if nothing happened. You both have been uprooted out of the ground into a new chapter in life. It’s okay to feel a range of emotions as you go through the process. We have a few ways to grieve the loss of your love relationship.

You’ll Face Five Stages as You Grieve Your Lost Relationship

The Kübler-Ross model of grief, also known as “The Five Stages of Grief,” explains what happens to our minds during the five stages after we lose something or someone special.

These stages are anger, bargaining, denial, sadness, and acceptance. You don’t necessarily grieve in any specific order. Sometimes you experience a stage multiple times.

During the grieving process, you may deny the person is gone from your life. You might get angry wondering what you could have done differently. Or, you might bargain with a higher power to help them come back to you.

Once you realize this is not going to work, you might feel depressed. You start listening to sad songs and watching old home videos.  Finally, you usually just accept this person is gone from your life. Sometimes we get stuck in denial thinking no one will ever love us again.

These stages have no time limit. It’s up to you when you decide to accept the loss and move on with your life. The truth is that you probably will fall in love again. You just have to give yourself time.

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11 Ways to Take Care of Yourself as You Grieve for the Love You Lost

1 – Don’t Overthink

You may find yourself returning to the relationship a million times in your mind. You might start wondering where you went wrong. When we do this, we start to think we should go back. There’s a reason you broke up. No matter how many good times you had, there’s a reason underneath it all that the relationship is done. Don’t think about it all of the time. It’s time to hang out with yourself and move down the road. This doesn’t mean you won’t feel anything. You will still feel the stages of loss and you will grieve, but it means you don’t start playing the reel of your relationship in your head.

2 – Take Time To Detox

Many people deal with the loss of a love relationship by jumping into the next relationship. This doesn’t help you deal with any of the feelings left behind. The best thing you can do is have a period of detox. This means you take time to reflect and recharge your “love batteries.” You don’t need to date or pursue others at this time. You don’t need to go home with people from the bar. You need to focus on yourself. Before you get into a new relationship, you need to be 100% ready. You need to have a clear head on your shoulders. It’s only fair to you and the next person. If not, you will bring your drama into the next relationship.

3 – It Is Okay to Be Selfish While You Grieve

Love is often selfless. We put the other person above us. It’s time to be selfish once that relationship is over. Get out of bed when you feel like it. Go to the store without telling anyone. Stay out as late as you want. You get control of the remote watching whatever show you feel. You don’t have to answer to anyone. This is one of the only times in life when you get a pass to be selfish.

4 – Lean On Others

It’s okay to feel sadness with your support system. Lean on those you love to get out your feelings and emotions. When you want to cry and grieve, call up your best friend. Get those emotions out. You might need to yell at someone about the anger you’re feeling.

When someone you love passes away, people flock to you in support. They know this is the same during this love loss. They know sometimes it’s important to just be there sitting by you as you vent.

A hug is sometimes the best therapy available.

5 – Do Things You Enjoy

After a loss, it’s always best to find your smile again. Do things you love. Your self-esteem and heart might be bashed. When you do things that you love, you will feel happiness again. You might even forget for a few minutes that you’re going through a tough time.

You’ll actually learn to fall in love with yourself when you do things you love. You get to feel happy and enjoy a smile again. Whether it’s reading a book, going to the movies, playing a game of tennis or singing along with your guitar, do something you love.

6 – Let Go Of Emotional Baggage

Breakups leave big, ugly scars. If you don’t tend to these scars, they just look even scarier. It’s important to not dwell on the negative emotional baggage. You must learn to feel the pain then move on with a positive outlook. You’re able to decrease your amount of suffering by finding the lining in the clouds.

When you can tell yourself that “maybe it didn’t work out for a reason,” you’ll be able to move forward. If you get stuck in the negative emotional baggage of the relationship, it’ll be tough to move forward. You might face depression. You’re going to feel sadness and grieve some days. You’ll get triggered by a couple holding hands.

The important thing is to think of the positives in your break up. Remember why you broke up. By doing so, you’ll help your mind prepare for the next step in life.

7 – Forgive Yourself

Grieving means having to forgive yourself. It’s hard to let go. You blame yourself for every little thing. You might think everything was all your fault when it takes two to tango. Look back and think about both of your actions.

Think of the reasons why it didn’t work out. Even if you did things wrong, you have to let go of the blame. You cannot move on until you forgive yourself and grow from the experience as a whole.

thinking about the past

8 – Don’t Shut The Door On Love

Many times people that get out of a relationship will say they’ll “never” date again. They swear off all relationships. You should never speak in absolutes.

It didn’t work out with your ex for a reason. This doesn’t mean love isn’t going to work in the future. You’re burned right now. You have to get through this tough time and leave love open in the future. If you lose faith, you could be missing out.

There is a right time for your love.

One day you might find them when you least expect it. Until then, you focus on yourself. Don’t turn your head to anyone that tries to set you up. One day you’ll realize you’re ready again. In the beginning, it’s natural to think of speaking in absolutes.

9 – Don’t Seek Revenge

When you’re grieving, you often feel anger. You just want to hurt the other person because you’re hurting. Don’t seek revenge. Being angry and seeking revenge will not solve anything. It will make you seem petty and immature. Don’t trash talk them to your friends and family. Just accept they are gone, and accept that you don’t need to do anything about it. There’s a reason they aren’t with you anymore. You don’t need to go out and hurt them to dig the dagger even deeper into both of your hearts.

10 – Comfort Yourself

Remember there is no time limit to grieving. In the beginning, you might find it hard to even get out of bed. Take it a second at a time. Eat that pint of ice cream if you feel. Watch that sappy movie. Let your friends come over while you cry into their lap. You don’t have to be okay.

One day you’re going to be able to get out of bed. And, of course, someday you’re going to smile again. Your life was thrown into a blender. It’s okay to feel that pain. Always remember it’s okay to grieve.

11 – See The Differences

One of the best things that happen once you get through the grieving, you’ll realize there is a difference between a breakup and a death. When someone dies, it’s final. When you break up with someone, you get both get through it alive. You get to rise above it. One day you might see them walking along the street, and you won’t cry.

You’ll realize one day that you’re able to move forward. This breakup was the demise of that particular love relationship, but it’s not the final stage of love for you. One day soon, you’ll embrace living life to its fullest once again.

Final Thoughts on Taking Time to Grieve a Lost Love Relationship

It’s important to take time to grieve after any loss. A breakup is a loss that turns your world upside down. Once you face the truth of this loss and think through it, you’ll be able to move on. It might feel like you’re dying inside, but you’re about to live in the next chapter. Take time for yourself, then turn the page to the next chapter in life.