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15 Comebacks for Dealing with Mean People

15 Comebacks for Dealing with Mean People


When you’re dealing with mean people, it is important to stay positive. Whether it’s a stranger, a co-worker, spouse, or any other person in your life, knowing what to say is important.

You don’t want to be rude in return, as it could only make the situation worse. Plus, it could irreparably damage a relationship that is important to you.

It’s important that you don’t let people be mean to you, though, no matter who they are. By speaking up and coming back with a quick response, you’ll let them know that the behavior isn’t acceptable.

If you have a person in your life who tends to be rude at certain times, remember these comebacks to use next time. These comebacks could stop their behavior on the spot, and they could help them be nicer in the future, too.

Tips for Dealing with Mean People

-Stay positive and calm

-Avoid being rude

-Don’t take on their same attitude

-Smile

-Be firm

-Think about what you want to say before you say it

-Be empathetic

-Take a deep breath

Comebacks for Dealing with Mean People

1. I’m sure you didn’t intend to sound so rude, but that’s how it’s coming across to me.

Disagreeable people sometimes don’t realize they are being rude. When it comes naturally to them, it may be useful to point it out. Then, they will likely think about how they are speaking to you or what they are saying.

This way, they know how they are making you feel. Plus, they’ll know that you are trying to still be nice and positively interact with them.

2. I can see that you’re having a bad day.

If you say this, they’ll start thinking about why you think they are having a bad day. They’ll realize that the way they are speaking is giving you a bad vibe.

Sometimes a simple comment like this is the perfect comeback. The person you say it to may start speaking more nicely when it is pointed out to them.

Another way this comeback could work is that it could make the person believe that you said it because you are worried. This could soften their personality a little when they are communicating with you.

3. What is your motive for asking that?

Sometimes people ask rude questions just to make you uncomfortable. They may want to embarrass you in front of others or they just want to hurt your feelings.

When you are in this position, ask the person what their motive is. By turning it around and asking them this question, you’ll likely get your point across. They’ll know that you are not interested in discussing it.

Plus, if others can hear the conversation, it could shame the person who asked. Even rude people don’t want to be called out in front of others.

4. I’ll consider what you said, but I’d like to end this conversation now.

Even if you don’t agree with what was said, saying that you will consider it should normally do the trick. This way, the unfriendly person understands that you don’t want to talk about it and will hopefully stop. Then, you can forget it ever happened or you can take some time to consider it later.

Keep in mind that most rude people say things that aren’t true and have a goal to hurt you. If you choose to consider what they said, don’t take it too literally.

If you find that there was some truth to what was said, you can make a change. On the other hand, if there wasn’t any truth in it, just move on and forget it.

Then, the next time that person brings it up again you can answer honestly. You would simply tell them that you considered it already and you don’t want to talk about it again.

5. I’m finished with this conversation.

Sometimes, you just have to be blunt. If you’ve tried reasoning with the person and tried other comebacks, it may be best to end the conversation.

It isn’t as rude as ignoring them, but you’re letting them know that you aren’t going to be talking anymore. There is no use in arguing or going back and forth, so end the conversation and move on.

6. Have a great day!

This is another way of ending the conversation. As you’re ending the conversation or walking away from them, a positive statement is the way to go.

They can’t be angry at you for telling them to have a nice day. Plus, you’ll be able to walk away as a better person.

7. Thank you.

If someone makes a rude comment about you, just thank them. While you aren’t appreciative of their rudeness, it’ll let them know that you heard them. When you don’t react in the negative way that they were likely hoping for, they’ll be disappointed.

Most people won’t keep trying to get under your skin if they see that it isn’t working. So, when you give this simple reaction, they may let the conversation go.

8. I’m trying to empathize with you, but you’re making that difficult.

When someone is spiteful, it could be because something difficult is going on in their life. For this reason, reminding yourself that they could be having a bad day may help.

If they cross a line, however, it’s important to speak up and let them know. Let them know that you are trying to be understanding, but that you are struggling with their rudeness.

9. Could you please stop being so negative?

If you often deal with this person and you know that this is always the way they behave, speak up. Don’t let them get you down or ruin your day. Instead, call them out and ask them to stop being so negative.

It isn’t rude, but it gets the point across. Maybe your question will help them think about their behavior in the future, too.

10. I don’t appreciate the way you’re speaking to me. Could you please speak more nicely?

You should always be clear that you don’t like the way you are being treated. You can do it in this way because it’s stern but polite. If the person continues speaking that way after you’ve nicely asked them to stop, it’s time to walk away.

11. Excuse me?

By asking the person to repeat what they said, they’ll realize that you didn’t like what they said. Oftentimes, they won’t repeat it. If they do, try one of the other suggested comebacks.

12. I appreciate your opinion.

Sometimes, people like to give their opinion when it isn’t wanted. Their opinion probably doesn’t even matter to the situation, which can be beyond irritating to you.

Instead of getting angry or rude in return, thank them for their opinion. After you’ve thanked them for sharing, they shouldn’t have anything more to say. Remember, their thoughts and opinions on your life don’t matter, so try to stay positive.

13. Are you okay?

When you ask someone this question, a couple of things may happen. First, they’ll likely ask why you’re wondering.

If they do ask, you could explain to them that they seem like they are in a bad mood. Or, you could be vaguer and just tell them that they seem different.

The other thing that may happen is that they may open up to you. They’ll see that you care and that you aren’t angry at them for being in a bad mood. If something is wrong with them, you’ve just opened the communication that maybe what they need.

14. Anything else?

This comeback will let them know that what they are saying isn’t bothering you. When their comments don’t affect you, they’ll be disappointed. Furthermore, when you invite them to say more, they’ll be even more discouraged.

This should stop them from being mean to you at the moment. Plus, it’ll also make them think twice in the future before they are rude to you again.

15. Say nothing at all, just smile and laugh.

Sometimes, the best comeback is to say nothing. Even better, smile or laugh at what the spiteful person has to say. No one wants to be laughed at, so reacting this way will be the perfect response for any rude person.

Final Thoughts on Comebacks for Dealing with Mean People

You will inevitably experience mean people in your life. No matter where you go, you are sure to encounter it on a somewhat regular basis. You have to stay positive, though, and graciously deal with them.

These comebacks for dealing with negative people can help you change the behavior of that person. The comebacks will stop the behavior immediately, and could even influence that person in the future.

Hopefully, with your stern but kind comebacks will help the spiteful person think before they speak in the future. In the meantime, however, these comebacks will help you get through your experience with that mean person.

Lifestyle

20 Habits of Extroverts That Most People Misunderstand

20 Habits of Extroverts That Most People Misunderstand


Extroverts are social animals. They love being around people.  Because they may come on strong, some people aren’t sure what to do with them. They are often misunderstood.  So, what are 20 habits of extroverts that most people misunderstand?

How you can tell if you are an extrovert

If you are an extrovert, you have some common characteristics that all extroverts share. Those who have this personality type display the following traits:

  • Love to communications and talking, they often think out loud.
  • Love being the center of attention, it’s in their nature.
  • Can be impulsive and tend to leap before they look
  • Love group activities
  • Can’t stand being alone too long
  • Get inspired by others’ thoughts and ideas.
  • Like to talk out your feelings

extroverts

Common Traits of Extroverts

Here are some often shared traits among extroverts.

1. They like to talk and listen

Extroverts like to communicate. Talking is essential to them because they love to relate to and learn from people. They want to express their ideas, but they also want to hear other people’s thoughts. Extroverts make great listeners because they understand communication.

They value your ideas and will often grab hold of something you’ve said. And, they will share with you how much they love your stories. This is why they have an abundance of friends. They’re just so doggone fun to talk to because they like to listen to other people.

2. Extroverts are private people

You may think that all extroverts are open and share personal things, but that’s not true. They have deep feelings that they won’t always share with a crowd. They have close friendships with people who know them the best. They are apt to be fun and outgoing with most people, but those closest to them know their heart and what’s important to them.

3. Extroverts love attention in public

If you know an extrovert, you know they love getting praised in public. It’s just who they are. They love attention. Because public settings are vital to them, they feel more valued when appreciated in public. So, if you have an extroverted friend, be sure to tell others how great they are when you’re in public. Of course, like all of us, they also love affirmation in private, so do that too.

4. They are excellent on teams

Studies found that extroverts learn best in group settings. They love study groups and group activities at school or work. These people enjoy being on a team because they love to be with people.  They like discussing ideas and listening to other’s ideas. They’ll work hard on their team and often rise to the top as a good leader for the team because they’re good at drawing people into the group.

extroverts

5. Get energy from being with people

You know they extroverts at the bar, they’re the ones moving from table to table talking and laughing with every person. They’re having fun just being with people. Extroverts get energized when they’re around people. Talking, sharing their ideas, and listening to other people inspires them to the point where they feel more energetic.

Being alone too much will cause them to feel out of sorts and depressed. Interacting with people is like air to an extrovert, too little, and they’ll begin to feel lifeless.

6. A person can be shy yet still an extrovert

Believe it or not, some extroverts are shy. Just because you’re an extrovert doesn’t mean you don’t feel reserved when first meeting new people. If you are slow at getting to know people, it could mean you’re shy. That’s okay. Generally, though, most of them don’t mind meeting new people. While introverts find this exhausting, an extrovert like people enough to not mind being with new people even if they’re on the shy side.

7. Need to problem-solve their problems

If you’re an extrovert, you like to solve your problems out loud. You wish to discuss, reason, question, and wonder by talking.

For this reason, these people are often also auditory learners or processors.  Auditory learners like to talk about problems. They enjoy listening but can’t wait to share ideas. Here are some other characteristics of an auditory learner.

  • They’re better at remembering someone’s name but not their face.
  • They get distracted by noises easily.
  • They don’t like long narratives in books or plays.
  • They love plays and lots of dialogue in books.
  • They do the best listening to explanations from the teacher.
  • They like to recite poems, lists, or readings.
  • Talk to themselves or others
  • May read moving their lips since it feels like they’re talking
  • Like to listen to music while learning
  • Like lectures
  • Love it when their teacher praises them in front of the class
  • Good oral speller; needs to hear how to spell more than see it.
  • Gives lots of detail when the teacher calls on them

Of course, not all auditory learners are extroverts, but it’s more usual for these personality types to be auditory learners. They may lean towards other learning styles, but this is usually the most pronounced one.

8. Like to hang out with a group

Extroverts love a crowd. They don’t do well being alone, but love groups. They feel at peace in a group and can find interesting discussions and opportunities to learn and share ideas. They function well on teams and in groups at school or work.

9. May try to draw introverts in to help them

If you’re an introvert, you may have had an extroverted friend try to “help” you get involved in a group Extroverts think that if someone is alone, it’s a bad thing. This is because they don’t like being alone. It’s easy to misunderstand their motives, but it is because they care that they’re trying to pull you into the group.

10. Do get bored

If there aren’t enough opportunities to communicate, an extrovert will get bored. They get tired of doing activities that don’t require discussion or interaction. You see this in classrooms where the extroverts want to keep talking or clowning around when the teacher has told them to work alone. Extroverts can’t resist trying to get their neighbor’s attention to speak or be funny. They just need to interact.

11. Share a lot of detail

Extroverts are talkers. They can talk and talk. They often go into in-depth detail about a subject because they have been thinking about it assume you want to know as much about it as they do.

They will give descriptions from different angles, list the pros and cons, and then give a detailed account as to how they came upon all these thoughts. It can be exhausting for those listening unless, of course, they’re also extroverts.

12. They doubt themselves at times

It’s easy to assume that extroverts are completely confident all the time. This is a common misunderstanding. Extroverts are so outgoing. They often get lots of criticism. This can be unnerving as they try to change and figure out what would work better.  They tend to be overly eager to change up things they think people won’t like to the point where they doubt themselves.

13. Not all extroverts are the same

There are different types of extroverts. Some extroverts are more ambitious than others. All extroverts do like social situations, but they will use them differently.  Shy extroverts will surround themselves with a group of outgoing extroverts to make themselves more comfortable. No one size fits all, and this is a commonly misunderstood thing about extroverts.

Here are 17 habits of introverts that most people misunderstand.

14. Brains sense pleasure around people

Studies found that an extrovert’s brain reacts differently to seeing people. Their brain senses pleasure when they get around people. Being around people is what makes them happiest. They will find great pleasure in friends and family interactions. Extroverts rarely meet a stranger and enjoy talking with them.

15. Socializing can make an extrovert tired

Believe it or not, socializing can make extroverts tired. They need to recharge, just like introverts. But an extrovert will probably recharge with a small group of people instead of by themselves.

16. Not all born leaders

These folks can be good leaders, but so can introverts. It’s easy to stereotype personalities. Some extroverts prefer to follow rather than lead. Extroverts do like people, but being on a team or in a group is just fine with them. They don’t always need to be the leader.

17. Enjoy noise

Extroverts like noise. They don’t like it when it’s too quiet. They say that when it’s too quiet, they get distracted. Whether it’s playing music while they study or being in a loud restaurant for a meeting, extroverts prefer this over a quiet atmosphere.

18. They’re good teachers, public speakers, or salesmen

It only makes sense that people who love to talk will enjoy professions that require lots of talking. Of course, extroverts can be in any profession, but some jobs just lend themselves to outgoing, talkative people. Sales, speaking, and teaching are perfect professions for extroverts because they get to do what they love most-talk and discuss ideas.

19. Not great planners

Extroverts can be impulsive. They jump at things before they’ve thought through the details. They may say yes to everyone without looking at their calendar first. But because of this, they’re huge doers. They love staying busy and helping others. So, if you display these habits, be sure to keep your calendar with you and take a look once in a while, so you don’t over-commit yourself.

20.  Love it when people drop in to say hello

This personality type loves it when someone drops by.  Where an introvert would find this overwhelming, an extrovert is in heaven. They love people, and being surprised by an unexpected visitor adds energy to them because they have someone to talk to.

honest personFinal Thoughts on the Traits of Extroverts

Rest assured, when you meet an extrovert, you will know it! Their bubbly personalities and ability to make friends are dead giveaways.

Lifestyle

15 Things Charming People Do Without Realizing It

15 Things Charming People Do Without Realizing It


Why is it that some people have a magnetic appeal when they’re in a crowd? What is it about these brilliant conversationalists that everyone finds so charming?

Do you often feel uncomfortable at a social gathering where you don’t know anybody, and do you have a hard time learning names? This familiar scenario is toward the top of many people’s lists of phobias. However, you may be envious of those who make socializing and conversation look effortless.

You’ve heard the adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What makes someone with average looks be swarmed about with admiring listeners? How do some people waltz into a room of strangers and start chatting as if they were among old friends?

Does your career depend on you being an excellent communicator and influencer? These are vital skills when you are working in sales or helping professions. Effective communication and brilliant people skills can mean the difference between clients choosing your company or a competitor.

In the world of romance, charming people win more hearts than those who insist on being wallflowers. Let’s face it; we are first attracted to appearance. Beauty may get the initial attention, but character, charm, wit, and kindness will keep it.

Is it possible to increase your charm factor? For years, Dale Carnegie’s blockbuster book about gaining friendship and influencing people was the standard for learning effective communication. What are the secrets to knowing that will help you stand out in a crowd?

You don’t need stunning features, to have the right last name, or to be loaded with cash to be a magnetic personality. Learning a few simple communication skills and being sensitive to social cues are your keys to success.

Here are 15 things that charming people do for you to consider.

1. They Look Others in the Eye

One of the things you probably studied in high school speech class was the significance of good eye contact. Our brains are hard-wired to scan another person’s eyes for sincerity and truthfulness.

When you make regular eye contact with others while talking, it exudes confidence, charm, and genuineness.

2. Charming People Often Smile

Have you heard that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile? When we see someone with a big frown or scowl, our first response is usually to walk the other way. A sincere smile does more to accentuate your appearance than diamonds or pearls ever can.

When you are a bundle of nerves facing an unfamiliar crowd in a speaking engagement or a party, try smiling. It can instantly put you at ease and draw positive attention from others. The more you practice smiling, the more natural it will become.

3. They Use Good Manners

Regardless of how fashion and social mores revolve, good manners will never go out of style. Even the most attractive person in the crowd is considered a swine if he is rude and obnoxious. The essence of charm is proper manners, grace, and dignity in all situations.

4. They Know How to Show Respect

Proper manners hinge on mutual respect. When you show respect to people regardless of who they are or their life’s situations, they’ll perceive you in a beautiful, positive light. Observing basic rules like treating others the way you want to be treated will serve you well when relating to people.

5. Charming People Talk About Interesting Things

You must have a broad range of topics to discuss if you want to be a successful conversationalist and influencer. First, steer clear of subjects dealing with religion, politics, or sex. Unless you are with close, like-minded friends, cursing and bawdy jokes have no place in most social settings.

A thoughtful person would never find amusement in comments that are hate-charged and prejudiced. Neutral topics as conversational starters needn’t be boring. Skilled conversationalists know how to tailor their conversations to the present company.

You’ll never go wrong by using open-ended questions to get people to talk about themselves because they will almost always view you as a fascinating person.

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Laugh

Most people indeed enjoy laughing with others. While nobody expects you to be a standup comedian, a little levity goes a long way when breaking the ice in an unfamiliar crowd. Remember to smile often and lighten up with a little laughter, if it’s not at the expense of others.

7. They Are Excellent Listeners

There’s a vast difference between hearing people and listening to what they are saying. You must be actively engaged in what the other person is saying to listen to them genuinely. Fascinating people allow a few seconds to reflect on other’s comments instead of thinking of what to say next.

Be a good listener, look the speaker in the eyes and concentrate on what she’s saying. Let her know that you understand her point by restating it in your own words. Keep your body language neutral and receptive, leaning slightly toward the other person.

Excellent conversationalists also value the importance of mirroring the person talking to them. Take a cue from the topic and the emotion the speaker is displaying and follow suit. Show genuine enthusiasm when he is sharing exciting news and display empathy when he’s perplexed or hurting.

Though it may be difficult, you should avoid interrupting. While you mirror appropriate emotion, nod your head, and think about what he’s saying. These nonverbal actions tell the other person that you care about what he’s saying, and you value him.

8. People with True Charm are Genuine

If you must be pretentious to make a statement, you won’t be a positive one. People like meeting those who are authentic and don’t need to put on airs. In a group or even one-on-one conversation, relax, and be yourself.

Nobody enjoys the company of a braggart, either. Those who can only blab about their accomplishments, possessions, or money always are usually avoided. Your best asset is a genuine personality with a positive attitude and kindness.

Therapists explain how to learn the art of accepting compliments gracefully.

9. Charming People are Positive

Skillful conversationalists are keenly aware of how to set the mood of the discussion. Your attitude can be contagious, be it positive or negative. Who wants to be smothered by a wet blanket spouting gloom and doom all the time? It’s a mood buster for everyone.

Of course, sometimes warrant serious discussions about negative situations, which are unusual in social occasions. Remember to smile and keep the conversation positive and lively. People will leave the conversation feeling good and will seek out your company often.

10. Know-How to Tell a Great Story

Isn’t it fun to be around people who are gifted storytellers? They are animated and instinctively know how to accent each part. While sharing stories is a beautiful way to bond with others, it should be used judiciously to avoid being boring.

11. Fascinating People are Team Players

What would happen in a basketball game if only one player controlled the ball? Nobody else could play, and their team would undoubtedly lose, regardless of whether the single player is a pro. Likewise, a one-sided conversation is a loss to everyone involved.

To be a great conversationalist, learn to share the limelight. When you draw others into the conversation and allow it to go back and forth naturally, everyone is happy and enriched. When a conversation dominator enters the room, people usually scatter.

12. They Use Appropriate Body Language

Even when people don’t know each other, our brains can instantly notice and analyze body language. If your body language isn’t congruent with what you’re saying, you’ll be ingenuine. When you are talking, keep your arms open and your body calm and relaxed.

13. They Do Things to Enrich Their Lives

Fascinating people don’t just happen; they invest in themselves. No wonder they are a treasure trove of interesting subjects to discuss. If you want people to be attracted to you, consider expanding your expertise and learning new hobbies.

14. Charismatic People Keep Their Word

Nobody enjoys the company of a liar, not even other liars. Those who attract attention at a party or social event know to save the obvious whoppers for a funny fishing story. Also, you build trust and camaraderie when you are honest, punctual, and fulfill your promises and obligations.

15. People with Charm Make Others Feel Good About Themselves

Most people can see straight through flattery with disdain. However, appropriate and sincere compliments are usually welcomed by others. When you have confidence in yourself and your abilities, it’s easy to step back from the spotlight and allow others to shine.

Final Thoughts on Being a  More Charming Individual

If you want to be perceived as a charming person with a magnetic personality, practice these suggestions. Soon, they will become second nature, and you will be more comfortable in a crowd or a one-on-one conversation. You’ll never regret learning how to make new friends and cultivate friendships you already have.

Lifestyle

10 Ways to Show People You’re Smart Without Saying Anything

10 Ways to Show People You're Smart Without Saying Anything


Being smart in this world isn’t everything, but it sure helps.

For the sake of non-confusion, let’s define the word ‘smart’ for our reference. We’ll set the term as:

 having enough mental and emotional aptitude to succeed in your life’s goals.

Some people equate smartness with a high I.Q., but there are plenty of people with an off-the-charts I.Q. who live a self-described miserly existence. Is this, then, a good, practical definition of “smart”? What’s the use of being highly intelligent if your life is chronically unhappy?

Say someone you know has a 150 I.Q., an exceptionally high score – almost genius level. Yet, they live their life in a state of self-perceived lack – of relationships, fulfillment, and meaning.

Is this smart? After all, shouldn’t someone this “smart” be able to figure out the source of the shortcomings of their lifestyle and make the necessary changes?

Therein lies the problem of equating intelligence with smarts.

Being smart involves a keenness for navigating life. Perhaps this is why Stephen Hawking, the late, great theoretical physicist, once remarked, “People who boast about their I.Q. are losers.”

In other words, to be considered ‘smart,’ there need to be present a certain degree of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence, or ‘E.I,’ is broken down into four categories: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, and includes such factors as:

  • Knowing your emotional states
  • Managing your emotions
  • Motivating yourself
  • Recognizing and understanding other people’s emotions (empathy)
  • Managing relationships

A rather broad definition of smarts, but there you go.

In this article, we’re going to discuss why it’s beneficial to (subtly) display your smarts to others. We’re not talking about bragging or waving around your college diploma. We’re talking about small, everyday activities and behaviors that you are smart and capable.

Let’s get to it then!

smart people dont tolerate these behaviors

10 Ways to Show People You’re Smart

“Be as smart as you can, but remember that it is always better to be wise than to be smart.”  ~ Alan Alda, 6-time Emmy Award and Golden Globe Award winner

As you go through this list of ten things to do to show people you’re smart, you’ll no doubt read items that you think are basic common-sense. This shows awareness; another quality often left out of the intelligence “equation.” It’s also a critical aspect of smartness.

Without further ado, here are ten ways to show people that you’re smart!

1  – Always be on time

“A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.” ~ Charles Darwin, founder of the Theory of Evolution

To be on time is to demonstrate your self-awareness and sense of responsibility. People who are chronically late are perceived as unreliable, untrustworthy, and undisciplined. None of these traits should ever be associated with a smart person.

People who achieve their goals are masters of their time. Take Charles Darwin as an example. By his own account, Charles Darwin didn’t possess any kind of extraordinary intellect. Something he did possess was mastery over his time.

It is said that Darwin would observe different animals for hours, ensuring that all of his work was done as meticulously as possible. The only way he could do this, of course, was to carefully allocate his waking hours for what he perceived to be his life’s most important tasks.

2 –  Be a good listener

“It takes a great man to be a good listener.”  ~ Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the United States

Really quickly: Think of a couple of people in your life who are good listeners. People whose eyes remain fixated on yours while you speak. People who always seem to offer excellent and timely advice.

What characteristics do you associate with them?

The odds are that “smart” is up there.

The reason is simple: it’s challenging to be a good listener. To listen well requires the honing of attention and the trait of open-mindedness. It also involves restraint and the ability to control impulsive thoughts.

These qualities are the bedrock of active listening – the ability to remain receptive to the words of another and to offer a timely, relevant response.

socially intelligent people listen well

3 –  Spend money wisely

“Don’t tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money, and I’ll tell you what they are.”  ~ Dr. James W. Frick, former Vice President for the University of Notre Dame

Did you know that most countries with the highest personal savings rates (money left after taxes/bills/etc.) tend to have lower incomes?

In other words, saving money has nothing to do with money coming in or out. It has everything to do with prioritizing.

Smart people save and spend money wisely, period. They know that going to war with yourself over why there’s nothing left in the bank isn’t worth it.

Fortunately, this is a problem that’s quite easy to fix!

Come up with an accurate budget of your average monthly expenses and income. Don’t allow the former to exceed the latter. Yes, you may have to cut back or eliminate costs.

In a few months, you’ll have a bit of cushion!

4 – Get organized

“For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned.” ~ Benjamin Franklin, American statesman, inventor, and philosopher

So many of us waste time and energy simply because we’re unorganized. A smart person doesn’t allow this to happen.

Simple things like putting your keys in the same place, automating your savings, spending a few minutes cleaning up your workspace – and so on – can save you time and make your life easier.

Start by identifying the most significant time and energy wasters in your life. What can you do to ease the burden?

5 – Be polite

“Please be polite. Nothing in life should erode the habit of saying thank you to people or praising them.”   ~ Sir Richard Branson, Founder and CEO of the Virgin Group

Politeness displays that you have a sense of sophistication and selflessness. Doing things like holding the door open or helping an elderly adult with their groceries not only feels good but contributes to your self-esteem and self-worth.

Rudeness, on the other hand, sends the opposite message. Rude people are perceived as ignorant and social misfits – two words that are never applied to someone smart.

oversized ego

6 – Have a sense of style

“Fashion is the armor to survive the reality that is everyday life.”  ~ Bill Cunningham, American fashion photographer for the New York Times

We don’t buy into the extreme materialism that has seemingly dug its hooks into the collective psyche of developed countries. This top isn’t about greed, adornment, or braggadocio.

It’s about presentability.

Appearance still matters in many ways, including how smart you appear to others. Take a pair of eyeglasses, for example. Do they not transform the wearer into a more studious form?

Bottom line: own a nice pair of slacks and some decent dress shoes. Patch, repair, or replace clothing as needed.

7 –  Remember the details

“The difference between something good and something great is attention to detail.” ~ Charles R. Swindoll, Christian pastor, author, and educator

Details run our life. Those whom others perceive as smart pay close attention to those details. Failing to do so can result in adverse consequences, up to an including the catastrophic.

Getting better at paying attention to detail requires the honing of both selective and sustained attention. Selective attention is the ability to choose a specific stimulus out of many, while sustained attention involves holding the attention onto the stimulus (e.g., a task or target).

Attention is analogous to a muscle. Use it, and it becomes stronger, don’t, and it atrophies. Some useful exercises for strengthening focus include meditation (of course), reading, and physical activity.

8 – Take notes

Okay, so you may feel a bit embarrassed by taking notes at your next meeting. But you know what? It sure as heck conveys a positive message.

First and foremost, taking notes shows your commitment to excellence. Second, it shows that you’re willing to study to get better.

Being a smart person requires that you remember the essential things. Unfortunately, we tend to be somewhat biased in this regard, thinking that we’ll remember more than we actually will.

This is where taking notes can help a ton. It’s also an easy, subtle way to show off your smarts.

9 – Keep the right company

“Tell me with who you associate, and I will tell you who you are.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German writer and statesman

Speaking of easy ways to appear smart (or not), there’s who you choose to call your friends. Fair or not, who you “hang out” with is seen as a reliable indicator of your judgment – and thus, smarts.

The choice to keep in good company isn’t an exclusionary or elitist ideal. We tell our kids all of the time to avoid the “wrong crowd,” after all. While we’re a bit less susceptible to corrosive influences as an adult, it’s still essential to associate with the right person; if for none other reason than to be seen as having good character and judgment.

10 – Take care of your body

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” ~ Jim Rohn, entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker

While some people care for their body to boost their egos, we seek a more holistic reason.

The best one: well (or poorly) your body is taking care of will affect (positively or negatively) everything that you do. Energy levels, susceptibility to disease, and degree of mobility are all influenced – to a great extent – by how you care for the body.

With this in mind, try to get at least 30 to 45 minutes to light to moderate exercise every day.

Final Thoughts on Showing People How Smart You Are Without Bragging About It

Taking these actions puts your “smarts” on display. You won’t need to tell others how sharp-minded you are. Indeed, your behaviors will speak volumes about you.

Lifestyle

15 Signs of a Spark Between Two People

15 Signs of a Spark Between Two People


You’re sitting in a crowded room, you turn, and suddenly your eyes meet another person’s eyes.  You feel an immediate attraction, a connection to that person. Is it real? Many people wonder how to know. So, what are 15 signs of a spark between two people?

15 Signs of a Spark When Two People Feel Mutual Attraction

1. Body language

One of the first signs that there are sparks between two people is often their body language. They may lean in towards one another when they talk or touch arms when they share something. Their expression says,” I want to be close to you,” and “I’m attracted to you.”

They may touch hands, pat one another on the back, or lean on one another’s shoulders to show they are interested. Body language is a good sign. However, it can be deceptive, so keep an eye out for other giveaways as well.

2. Eye contact

Continually looking at one another is a sure sign that sparks are going off between two people. Usually, they can’t take their eyes off of one another. It’s as if they are like two magnets being pulled together by their eyes.

You find yourself looking at the other person’s nose and mouth, their eye color, and their body. Everything about them is interesting to you. It’s fun to watch this happen to two people,  but of course, it’s most fun if you experience it yourself.

3. Smiling

Lots and lots of smiles, you can’t stop laughing at the person when you’re attracted to them. They make you happy to see them, and they feel the same. This behavior is a sure sign of sparks ignited between the two of you. Studies found that when the flashes of romantic love ignite, your brain kicks up the level of dopamine that stimulates your brain’s pleasure center. You feel pleasure and happiness, so you smile. You have a crazy, happy-looking smile that other people notice right away as a sign of sparks flying around.

4. Infatuated

They’ve captured your attention, you’re curious about them, you wonder what they’re like. This is infatuation. It’s often one of the first things you feel when you catch the eyes of that person across the room. It’s a draw and desire to know more. Infatuation isn’t wrong, but by its very definition, it is a short term kind of passion that will go away.

It won’t kill the sparks, but infatuation is often based on the intrigue of not totally knowing someone. So your infatuation will go away,  but you can still be attracted to them as you get to know them.

falling in love
Here are 5 ways to reveal your love to your partner.

5. Stomach flip flops

When there are sparks between you and someone else, you may feel your stomach doing flip flops, or some people call it butterflies. Studies show that every culture has a different way of describing this emotional state. But when you feel this, you feel an attraction to the other person.

Of course, over time, your stomach feelings will change, but it’s usually a sign of sparks between two people.

6. Look forward to being together

You can’t wait to see the person even though you’ve just met. You feel like you’ve known them for years, and you want to know them more. This is a sure sign of a spark if you look forward to being together. You don’t care if you go for a walk, a drive through the country or to a little restaurant down the street, you just want to be together again.

It’s a good sign that you want to be together. This feeling really shouldn’t go away over time the way infatuation does.  In a good solid relationship, a couple enjoys time together and hates to be apart.

7. Chemistry

Chemistry is the tension and attraction you feel towards another person. Of course, physical attraction plays a part in this too. There may be a mix of desire and tension between the two of you. It’s not good to assume this is going to be a good relationship just because of this chemistry you feel. You can feel it with lots of people.

Chemistry should not just be about the person’s body, but also their mind and soul. It can be hard to do,  but try to stay cool and not given to throwing your heart away too quickly, even if you feel chemistry. Stay positive and move slowly.

8. Flirting

When you’re just getting to know someone, and you think there is definitely a chemistry between you, you’ll be flirty. Not too flirty, but just enough to let the other person know that you are interested, you think they’re cute and fun to be with.

It’s okay to flirt, but be sure not to throw yourself at the person. This comes on too strong, and if the other person isn’t feeling it, you won have embarrassed yourself by being too forthcoming.

attract a man
Learn how to attract a man without saying a word.

9. Work hard to look your best at all times

When you’re attached to someone, you want to put your best face forward. You’ll work hard to dress your best, you’ll fix our hair, shave and smell nice, too. You want the other person to think you’re attractive and sexy.

It’s a natural thing to do when there’s a spark between two people. If the other person isn’t doing this, it could be a sign they aren’t as attracted to you as you thought.

10. Miss each other when you’re not together

You’ve just met and hung out together once. Now you can’t wait to be together again. You already miss the person, their smile, their laugh, the way their eyes twinkle when they look at you. It’s all there-it’s a sure sign the spark has been charged up if you miss each other when apart. Missing each other when you’re apart should last in your relationship.

Even couples who have been together for years experience this when they spend time apart. So, if this spark is there and seems to last over the first days, weeks, or months, that could be a sign of a long-lasting relationship developing.

11. Feel comfortable being together

When there is a special connection between you and another person, you will feel extremely comfortable with them. You can relax and feel safe around them. Safe to share your deepest thoughts as well as physically safe.

If someone makes you feel unsafe, walk away from the relationship even if at first there were sparks. It sounds weird, but it happens. You should always feel safe in a relationship.

12. Want to learn new things about the other person

When you first get to know someone, you can’t learn enough about them. You want to know their likes and dislikes, about their childhood, their hobbies, their fears, their favorite foods, and their heroic deeds. Everything they have ever done is suddenly so important to you. They will want to know everything about you. It’s a sure sign that sparks are flying between the two of you.

13. Share similar values

Sparks flying doesn’t negate the similarity of your values. As you get to know someone, you will value what they value, you feel what they feel. Your similar values can forge a closer bond between the two of you. Sometimes sparks fly when you’re at an event where similar values are being shared, so it only makes sense that the person you find yourself attracted to has the same values as you.

14. Both of you like who the other person is

When the sparks fly, you like who you’re looking at. You like them physically, but as you get to know them, you like them intellectually and soulfully as well. You appreciate who they are without judging them. You feel like they are your other half. They meet your needs as a person and inspire you to be a better person.

15. Time stands still

You hear this in songs all the time, but when sparks fly between two people, it really seems to happen. You lose track of time when you’re together, talking and hanging out. It’s as if you wish you could turn the clock back so you could have an entire day together all over again.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing a Spark of Chemistry

When two people feel an instant connection across the room or in a crowd, there can be sparks that instantly fly. It’s as if you are being drawn together by forces outside yourselves. It’s not something you can make happen. It’s either there or not. It’s often the beginning phase of a relationship, but it shouldn’t define your relationship because that’s unrealistic for a long term relationship.

Enjoy these first moments, days, weeks, or months of the sparks, but be sure the relationship moves on into a deeper, more meaningful kind of relationship. Sparks can mean a fun relationship is potentially happening, so ride the wave of discovery, and see if it blossoms into something more.

Lifestyle

12 Behaviors of People With High Emotional Intelligence

12 Behaviors of People With High Emotional Intelligence


Many people view IQ as most important, but in our opinion, the world could use a lot more emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence means being able to perceive, control, and assess your emotions as well as others’. This type of knowledge means knowing how to respond to someone without letting your emotions get the best of you. And it also means remembering you can’t control other people’s feelings.

“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence; it is not the triumph of heart over head—it is the unique intersection of both.” –David Caruso

People with high emotional intelligence contribute a lot of essential skills to society and may not even know it. Sensitive, emotional people often get looked at as weak or unproductive in society, but they simply possess different characteristics than their less sensitive counterparts. They have a way of seeing into the heart of people and smoothing out disagreements that may occur between more logical types. So, to sum it up, emotional intelligence gets downplayed a lot in society, but without empathy, our world would not function.

Psychologist and one of the pioneers of emotional intelligence, Daniel Goleman, wrote a book about how information doesn’t have much value if you lack empathy. In Dr. Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, he talked about five main components that make up emotional intelligence.

We will go over what he outlined in his book below, as well as other behaviors of people with high emotional intelligence.

Here are 12 behaviors of people with high emotional intelligence:

emotional intelligencer

1 – They have high self-awareness.

According to Dr. Goleman, the first sign someone possesses high emotional intelligence is their level of self-awareness. Those with high emotional intelligence can keep close tabs on their emotions and control their reactions to other people. They never allow their feelings to get the best of them.

They don’t stuff their feelings away, but they also don’t let their emotions steer the wheel. People with emotional intelligence just pay attention to their feelings, so they don’t overreact or make bad decisions based on emotions. They also know themselves very well and set boundaries with people so they can maintain a sense of peace and autonomy at all times. People who are emotionally smart use this thoughtful gift as a way to keep in touch with their inner selves and gain insight into their feelings at all times.

2 – They have a remarkable ability to control their emotions.

The emotionally intelligent ride the waves of their emotions and don’t attach themselves to them. They simply allow the feelings to come and go without labeling them as good or bad. As humans, we all have fluctuating emotions, so if we feel sad today, then tomorrow, we might feel happy again. Knowing this, emotionally smart people keep a calm, even demeanor despite how they feel inside.

Emotional regulation is a crucial trait of the emotionally smart because, without the ability to control emotions, you will always fall victim to the chaos happening around you. However, if you can view your feelings as merely passing thought waves, you can ride the stormy seas and keep your ship afloat rather than letting the currents drag you under.

3 – They are motivated.

People with high EQ don’t allow themselves to play the victim. Indeed, they take full responsibility for their situation and life. They don’t let passing feelings get in the way of their goals, so they can keep focused on one task for long periods without getting fatigued. A lot of people feel tired just because their minds won’t shut off, but the emotionally intelligent know how to remain mindful, so they have higher productivity.

This doesn’t mean that possessing emotional intelligence keeps you from having bad days, but you’ll bounce back much quicker than those who don’t have a handle on their emotions.

mentally strong

4 – Emotionally smart people have a lot of empathy.

Emotionally intelligent people are some of the most empathetic people you’ll meet. Empathy means recognizing how someone feels and being able to relate to them. Those with a high EQ have a deep caring for how other people feel and always strive to make others around them feel better. They often get approached by other people who feel comfortable sharing their problems and concerns because they give off such a caring, sensitive vibe.

Being empathetic means, you can usually tell how someone feels without them even having to say a word. However, if the person chooses to divulge any details about their life, they will listen with open hearts and ears. They typically have excellent observational skills, and their intuition allows them to anticipate other people’s needs.

5 – They have excellent conversational skills

Despite the stereotype of emotional, empathic people being introverted and antisocial, emotionally intelligent people have great conversational skills. They can get to the heart of the matter quickly and easily because they don’t shy away from in-depth topics. They help lift others and motivate them, which makes them appealing to hang around. Emotionally intelligent people have excellent leadership skills due to their ability to observe problems and come up with compassionate solutions.

6 – They adapt quickly to their environment.

Those with high emotional intelligence have a chameleon-like ability to blend in with anyone, anywhere. Whether they’ve just gotten a new job or have moved to a new city, people with emotional awareness can keep a positive mindset anywhere they go. Since they know that everything in life just reflects their inner emotional state, they try their best to maintain a positive one at all times.

7 – They don’t try to be perfect.

People that have a keen awareness of their emotions know that trying to attain perfection will just lead to burn out and unhappiness. They realize that failing at something means more than never trying at all. That’s because they can learn many lessons in the process. However, shying away from new opportunities leaves no room for growth. Since they care more about improving themselves, they don’t let a fear of failure stand in their way.

8 – They understand how a healthy lifestyle benefits their emotions.

Emotionally intelligent people typically follow a healthy lifestyle. That’, because they know they can’t have a balanced mindset without taking care of themselves. They go to bed early, meditate, manage stress, workout, eat healthily, and treat others with kindness.

Their vibration radiates out to others because they take care of their health on the inside and outside. These practices allow their emotions to remain in check, as well.

9 – They express gratitude.

High EQ’s have a glass-half-full kind of attitude about life. They don’t see the point in dwelling on what goes wrong because that only lowers their vibration. They know that to attract good things in life, you have to keep your mind focused on all the positives. These types feel thankful for what they’ve been given and try to give their share to others as well.

grateful

10 – They can remain focused on one task for long periods of time.

Even if they have a lot going on in their heads, they can cut through the chatter and keep focused on the task right in front of them. Since they have the ability to manage and control their emotions, they don’t allow boredom or fatigue to keep them from their goals. If they feel stressed, they get up and workout, stretch or do something else to release it. Then, they get back to work. They know when to take breaks, but they stay the course and always finish whatever they start.

11 – They are highly creative.

They may not have a typical creative job. But they always use their innate abilities in whatever field they work in. They typically think outside the box and can view a problem from a bigger perspective.

This creative juice allows them to come up with a strong solution to an issue because they use their natural curiosity for life, along with their creativity to tackle problems. This also relates to being a good leader because these skills can be useful in the business world.

12 – They don’t get offended easily.

Since they have a good idea of themselves and set boundaries with people, those with high emotional intelligence don’t get offended easily. They know that whatever others think and feel about them only reflects their inner emotional state. Thus, nothing outside themselves can hurt them. Therefore, they listen to others with an open mind. However, they never allow their inner state to become upset by turbulence or strife from others.

emotional intelligence
Learn how meditating can help you gain control over your emotional responses.

Final thoughts about people with high emotional intelligence

Overall, having high emotional intelligence means having an awareness of your emotions as well as others’. Tap into your inner emotions. You will access a whole new world of knowledge that will open up many doors for you. Of course, even if you don’t have these skills, you can acquire them. Mindfulness and showing compassion for others can help increase emotional intelligence.

Lifestyle

5 Signs That Reveal You May Live Longer Than Other People Your Age

5 Signs That Reveal You May Live Longer Than Other


In a perfect world, we would all live longer and know when our life would end. This way, you’d be able to get your affairs in order and get things ready before the moment comes. On second thought, knowing when the moment was happening might be an awful thing to know.

Whether you’d want to know when it’ll happen or if you’d rather not know, we’re all curious about one thing. The thing we want to know is what makes some people outlive others. While there’s no exact science to figure it out, there are some ideas of what leads to a longer life.

Each of the ideas relates to your overall wellbeing. It seems that taking care of your body and mind is the ultimate key to living a long life. Since wellness is such a vast topic, it’s essential to narrow it down. Once you narrow it down, you can understand some of the signs that reveal you may live longer.

5 Signs You May Live Longer Than Others

live longer

Remember that there is no exact science to determine how long anyone will live. Many factors determine the length of life, but these signs are ones that anyone can work on.

1. You’re Organized, Make Plans, and Budget

Studies show that those who are organized, disciplined, persistent, and hard-working typically outlive others. This indicator is because they take fewer risks, are healthier, and have regular check-ups and doctor visits. Since they are more conscientious about their health, this benefits them in the long run.

Those aren’t the only reasons that organizers, planners, and budgeters live longer, however. Since these things go along with cognition, it can help prevent degenerative cognitive diseases.

People who have these characteristics are also less likely to smoke cigarettes and consume an excessive amount of alcohol. Plus, they’re more likely to have a steady job and a healthy marriage, leading to less stress and health problems.

In total, those who are organized, planners, and budgeters are expected to live around four years longer than others.

How You Can Work on This

Luckily, it’s not too late to develop this type of lifestyle. For those who aren’t naturally organized, a planner, or a budgeter, it’s still possible. It may just be a little tougher and will take more determination.

You can start by practicing writing schedules and budgets for yourself or your family. Start with a plan for the day, and then stick to it. Once you have a routine of planning your day and stick to it, you can begin planning for longer things.

If you wish to live a life like this, it’s crucial to consider relationships, careers, and friendships before jumping in. By doing so, you’re giving yourself a chance to review what may come from life change. If it might be toxic for you or cause overwhelming stress, think of your wellbeing before deciding.

2. Your BMI is Normal

Being overweight can decrease a life span, so an abnormal Body Mass Index (BMI) could mean a shorter life. With a healthy BMI, however, you are likely to outlive others.

Keep in mind, however, that an abnormal BMI calculation isn’t always a cause for alarm. If yours is too high or too low, you should discuss it with your doctor.

An average BMI calculation is between 18.5 and 24.9, and the index for being overweight is between 25 and 29.9. Then, an obese index is between 30 and 34.9. If you are above the obese calculation, you must change your lifestyle habits.

To calculate BMI, you have to divide your weight in kilograms by your height in meters squared. If this is too complicated, it’s easy to find accurate BMI calculators on the internet.

BMI tape measure
Read about the connection between BMI and overall wellness.

How to Reach a Normal BMI

The only way to change your BMI is to change your lifestyle. If your BMI is too low, you can work to gain weight or muscle. On the other hand, if your BMI is too low, you will have to do the opposite.

There are two natural ways you can successfully reach a normal BMI. One is by eating healthy foods and sticking to a nutritious diet. The other way is by exercising regularly and leading an active lifestyle.

It seems that the most critical factor for those who are overweight or obese is to eat less. Try leaving some food on your plate at each meal. A study performed at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis proves that this can help you live longer.

In the study, researchers determined that a diet that is low in calories yet high in nutrition is the best option. This is because that type of diet decreases the number of T3 hormones in your body. T3, a thyroid hormone, not only causes a slow metabolism, but it also speeds up the aging process.

3. You Look Younger Than You Are

When scientists conducted a study on twins, they were able to determine one of the signs of a longer life. The twins were monitored over the course of 12 years. In the end, scientists decided that the twin who looked younger lived longer.

The Secret to Looking Younger

Take care of yourself. Things like cigarettes and alcohol can make people appear older, proving that they are not suitable for the body. Eating healthy foods will help, along with regularly being active. Another way to look younger is by getting enough sleep.

4. You Have Regular Social Interaction

Healthy social interaction doesn’t have to mean there are many people in your life. Even a small group of people, you have a meaningful relationship with can help your overall wellness.

When you have people that you can trust in tough situations, you’ll have more help through the hard times. This increases the chances that you’ll have support when you’re sick, hurt, or just need a companion.

Other reasons that regular social interaction leads to a longer life are health-related. Studies show that those who aren’t regularly social tend to have more negative health patterns than others.

These negative health patterns include inactivity, obesity, hypertension, and increased blood clots. Those who are social also get sick less often when exposed to viruses than those who are generally isolated. They also have less inflammatory markers than those who don’t have regular social interaction.

Another health issue that stems from social interaction is that those who are isolated are more likely to smoke tobacco. Plus, those who have social interaction are less likely to have high blood pressure and increased heart rate from stress.

social distancingHow to Become More Social

Be careful not to let social media become your only form of communication with friends and family. To get the full benefits of social interaction, you have to have people in real life.

Make plans with the people you care about and follow through on them. Don’t wait for them to call you to make plans. Instead, reach out and let them know you’d like to spend some time together.

If you don’t know anyone in your area that you can reach out to, look for friends in other places. Join a group or start spending time in places that interest you. By doing this, you’re likely to find friends like yourself.

5. You Often Exhibit Positivity

Positive people experience less stress in their daily life and outlive negative people. Since there is less stress, blood pressure and heart rate tend to stay more regular. Both of those things are a vital part of living a long and healthy life.

The most crucial topic to remain positive about is aging. It’s believed that being positive about aging and life can lead to living up to 15% longer than negative people. Plus, you’ll have a better chance of making it 85 years old than those who can’t see the positives.

The Way to Become More Positive

Work on staying positive in your life each day. When things aren’t going as planned, look for a positive in the situation. There is always going to be at least one good thing going on, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

One way to remind yourself that life is good is by keeping a gratitude journal. Write one thing each day that you were grateful for. You can also say positive affirmations to yourself and surround yourself with other positive people.

live longerFinal Thoughts on Signs That Reveal You May Live Longer Than Other People Your Age

Even though there is no definite answer, there are signs that you may live longer than others. These signs are based on scientific evidence and research, so it isn’t just speculation. The best part is that anyone can achieve all of the signs mentioned.

If you struggle with any of the things listed, you can change something about your life today. Your wellness is the most significant part of life length, and each sign focuses on wellness in some way.

Take care of your mind and body, and you’ll become one of the people who may live longest. You only have one life, so you might as well make it the best one possible.

Lifestyle

17 Habits of Introverts That Most People Misunderstand »

17 Habits of Introverts That Most People Misunderstand »


Are you an introvert or an extrovert?  Everyone leans towards one of these two personality traits.  Extroverts are more socially outgoing and adventurous, while introverted people like being alone.

They prefer to fly solo instead of falling into a formation.

Thus, people often misread their behavior because they find it confusing. So, what are some of the habits of introversion that people misunderstand?

What’s the difference between introverts and extroverts?

You are most likely familiar with these two common personality traits. But remember, no one fits precisely into the introvert or extrovert box. There are varying degrees within both personality types. Despite this, there are specific tendencies in each personality type.

introverts

Introverted personalities tend to:

  • Like to blend into a group of people
  • Not like being singled out.
  • Enjoy being alone
  • Think carefully before they speak
  • Like to reflect upon their thoughts
  • Enjoy quiet, solitude

Extroverted personalities tend to:

  • Like a large group of friends
  • Like being the center of attention
  • Process their thoughts out loud
  • Tend to make quick decisions
  • Get energized from being around people
  • Be upbeat and unreserved
  • Enjoy teamwork

Here are 17 traits that cause people to misunderstand introverts

If you are introverted, you may feel like you get a bad rap for the way you act. People may even consider some of your behavior as odd. Extroverts get lots of positive attention, but it’s time to debunk the wrong thinking about introverts. So, here are 17 characteristics of introversion commonly misunderstood by people.

1 – Introverts prefer to choose small groups over parties

the introverted personality tends to pull away from social conditions. They’re often accused of being withdrawn and hard to get to know. But researchers found that when introverts and extroverts are in social situations, they respond differently.

In a social setting, an extrovert’s nervous systems send a signal that’s quickly accepted by their attention resources. On the other hand, the introvert’s social signals get pushed away by their nervous system. So being an introvert has a biological cause.

This research explains why introverts find large groups of people tiresome. If they’re at a party or conference, they may drift off to a corner to get a break from all the activities. People misunderstand this, thinking the person is rude or that they’re upset.

2 – They guard their privacy

Introverts guard their privacy. They don’t like to talk about themselves. This habit can be frustrating for people who like to speak and easily spill their guts. They can misjudge the introvert as stuck up or that they don’t want to be their friend. Introverts want to make friends, they’re just careful who they befriend. Once they make a friend, they stick with them.

privacy meme

3 – Introverts are quiet, generally

If you are introverted, you listen more than you talk. This habit isn’t a terrible quality to have today. The world needs people who hear more than they talk. Introverts are great counselors and therapists, as well as excellent listening partners and parents. In a world that likes to talk non-stop, an introvert is a refreshing change. They add calming stability to those around them.

4 – They prefer to be homebodies

Studies show that introverts are homebodies. They prefer being home to going out to socialize. They often have hobbies or like doing activities like quilting, writing, or computer programming, all of which lean toward technical expertise.

5 – Exhibit low-key personalities

If you’re an introvert, you like low key activities like watching television, reading, or doing a hobby. Introverts aren’t into high drama people. They find those who are tiresome or overwhelming. They are low maintenance people in general, not easily ruffled by things that happen.

6 – Need to recharge their emotional battery

Introversion means they like being alone because it gives them a chance to recharge their battery. Extroverts receive energy from being around people. Introverts get worn out, talking, and being around people.  Quiet times alone give them time to reflect and refocus their minds and bodies.

They like to relax with a hobby or a good book. If you’re an introvert, it’s vital that you know your limits and set aside time for yourself. Don’t worry about what people will think.

You will be better able to do the things you need to do if you take little breaks occasionally to unwind and get recharged.

7 – Introverts don’t always enjoy group activities

Doing work in a group can be exhausting for an introvert. As an introvert, you prefer to work by yourself. Being alone gives you more time to contemplate the project. If you must work in a group, you’re focused and stick to your job instead of getting involved with all social distractions.

8 – Cautious in friendship

Introverts make great friends, but if you’re an introvert, you won’t jump at being someone’s friend right away. You will be cautious and not quick to share details about yourself. But once you commit to being a friend, you will be loyal and committed to that friendship for a long time.

pop meme

 9 – Keep a small group of friends

A study found that introverts were happiest with a few strong friendships. If you’re introverted, you can be social. But you’re picky about who you open up to and who you like to be around. Introverts are loyal friends and often maintain the same friendships their entire life.

 10 – More introspective

Feelings oriented, revisit their conversations. Question their reactions and wonder if you said the right thing. Introverts are so introspective. They can be too hard on themselves.

11 – Like to watch, listen, and learn before they take action

Introverts are observers. They study themselves and other people learning how the world functions. By observing others, introverts learn how to interact with people. If you’re an introvert, you are often a good judge of character. You may steer clear of those situations that cause drama. After observing, you will make your move. It just might take you a while longer to decide.

12 – Introverts think before speaking

If you’re introverted, you think before you speak. You aren’t quick to answer a question. You like to think about the answer. This habit can drive people crazy, especially extroverts, who are often faster to share their thoughts.

13 – They are cautions and take only calculated risks

Introverts are willing to take risks, but they’re meticulous in their risk-taking. Studies show that extroverts like risks more than introverts. As an introvert, you study your chances carefully assessing before you take part.

14 – Enjoy watching rather than participating

In social settings, if you’re an introvert, you enjoy watching what’s going on around you. You like to listen to the conversations going on around you and watch how people interact. This habit gives you a feel for the people and the atmosphere, so you’ll be able to relax. People often misunderstand this behavior. They think because you’re quiet, you’re not having a good time.

15 – Most can morph into extroversion when needed

Studies show that introverts can become extroverted when necessary.

If this is your personality, you might find yourself in a situation where you need to be more of an extrovert. Think at work when you meet a new client or need to do a presentation. If you’re a parent of several children, you must become an extrovert to encourage your kids to get up and get out the door for school and out the door in the morning.

This personality type isn’t a handicap, and it doesn’t negate the ability to lead. If you must be an extrovert at work or home, you will find yourself tired and in need of quiet time at the end of the day.

 16 – They find that small talk is a waste of precious time

If you’re an introvert, you find small talk a waste of time. You’d rather talk about deep philosophical issues than the weather. Introverts are thinkers.  They rarely have time for small talk, and this can be perceived as rude or unfriendly. If you’re an introvert, it may be essential for you to develop the ability to learn how to do small talk.

17 – Don’t like to talk on the phone

This personality type prefers face-to-face interaction because they like to observe people. Not seeing someone’s face is hard for you if you’re an introvert. Extroverts like talking, so they find you strange if you don’t enjoy talking on the phone.

Of course, you will need to talk to people on the phone. But most do learn how to ask the right questions, which can help them understand what the person is thinking.

introvertsFinal Thoughts: Be Proud to Be an Introvert!

We’re never victims of our personality. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you have both positive and negative things about your character. But introverts tend to be misunderstood more than extroverts. Learning about yourself can help you feel better about your personality, plus you can learn how to better relate to others.

Because you can’t stay home all the time, you do need to learn social skills to learn how to ask questions and interact with people. Sometimes you’ll need to learn how to extrovert. As you learn more about yourself, you will also understand that you need to recharge your battery by being alone once in a while. It’s okay to be a deep thinker. Indeed, the world needs your input.

Remember, you’re not alone. Here’s a list of some famous names who share your tendencies:

  • Bill Gates
  • Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Albert Einstein
  • Elon Musk
  • Rosa Parks
  • JK Rowling
  • Steven Spielberg
  • Meryl Streep
  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Warren Buffet
  • Hillary Clinton
  • Barack Obama

 This list of famous introverts proves one thing–you’re in fantastic company!

Lifestyle

13 Signs Your Personality May Be Intimidating People »

13 Signs Your Personality May Be Intimidating People »


Have you ever noticed that some people are just naturally intimidating? Or, perhaps, have you noticed that people tend to be intimidated by you?

Being an intimidating person is an intriguing situation to be in, as it can be tough to tell why people are so nervous around you – especially if you’re not a physically “scary” person. But it actually might be your personality traits that are causing the discomfort!

Here are 13 signs your personality may be intimidating people.

1.    You Don’t Do Small Talk

Being direct and to-the-point can be quite intimidating, and if you match that description, you do not waste time with small talk. You likely consider beating around the bush pointless and would much rather get straight to the point and talk about pressing and significant issues.

This means that you often skip pleasantries or straight out avoid talking to people that won’t start an engaging pr productive conversation. This can cause a projection of you that appears cold or even rude to others, and that’s certainly intimidating.

Though this is fine and a preference you likely share with many people, do keep in mind that small talk can be a positive thing. Many communities around the world consider it a crucial part of their interactions and bonding.

intimidating

2. You’re A Problem-Solver

It’s good to have the critical thinking skills necessary to be a good problem-solver, but that can sometimes intimidate people. This is because you’re always finding solutions independently and taking charge.

Others around you might feel like you hog the spotlight like you are excluding them, or as though they are unneeded. This can lead them to consider you intimidating.

3.    You Have Big Goals

Someone with big goals always strives to be the very best version of themselves. They do so by setting goals to work towards, and these are often ambitious and exciting in nature, with motivation and commitment involved that propel them forward.

If this description matches you, then it can be quite intimidating to the people around you. This is because of your colossal drive and forward movement. The good news is that the people who will likely be intimidated are those who are insecure about themselves and their achievements.

4.    You Don’t Conform

Others are often intimidated by someone who has confidence in themselves and does not bend or conform to the expectations of others. If you are an independent thinker, where your opinions are often not shared by the people around you, others with low self-confidence will find it hard to understand how it is possible to self-validate and not look for the approval of others.

In addition, people that are less knowledgeable in certain subjects may find it uncomfortable that you are so much more well-informed than they are. Once again, this will not be an issue for people who are secure in themselves and have positive thinking for their actions.

free thinker

5. You’re Assertive

To an introvert, extroverted people can be intimidating. This is especially true if those extroverts are assertive. But you don’t necessarily need to be a stereotypical extrovert – or even an extrovert at all! – to have this feature.

If you are the type to quickly speak out while expecting others to do the same, you can be perceived as aggressive those around you. Unlike some of our previous points, this intimidation isn’t necessarily a mark of insecurity.

As a matter of fact, by taking up all the space in the room and disregarding the different communication styles of others, you may alienate the people around you. This doesn’t mean you should stop being assertive – it just means that you need to find the balance in a conversation instead of consistently dominating it. Here is what you can do in that respect:

  • Take the time to assess the people surrounding you. Do they speak the same way as you do? Are they the type to interrupt your long assertive speeches, or would they likely wait for you to stop talking – which might not happen until the point is lost?
  • Take note if people are unusually quiet or sensitive towards you. Try and encourage these people to speak or ask them what they think.
  • Match the pace of others. Sure, you have great ideas, but let others share theirs, too. You can dominate the conversation when it’s your turn to speak, not throughout an entire meeting.

6. You’re Opinionated

Being highly opinionated can also be intimidating to others. If you are not afraid to challenge societal conventions and even stand-alone with those opinions, you’re giving off a power that may cause others to feel intimidated or uncomfortable.

Being opinionated is a great thing with many positive sides to it, including improving your persuasiveness and making you less vulnerable to other people’s persuasion. Just make sure that your opinions are backed by sound arguments. Being opinionated involves:

  • Determination to do something even if it means not conforming to others expectations of you
  • Dedication to keep trying to achieve the desired result, even if it may seem strange or pointless to others
  • Bravery in sticking to your guns, even if others are not backing you up.

7.    You Never Make Excuses, and You Don’t Accept Them Either

Others may find you intimidating if you do not make or accept excuses. Not taking nonsense is not a sign of a lack of sympathy, but rather a sign of your willpower. Still, as justified as it is, no one can deny that it’s quite intimidating to deal with someone who wants results, not excuses.

People that don’t make or accept excuses:

  • Don’t see themselves as a victim, even if their entire world is crumbling
  • Don’t have a place in their life for complaints from anyone
  • Pursue whatever goal they have set with vigor
  • Have zero tolerance for procrastination and laziness

8.    You Don’t Let Fear Control You

It can be intimidating and unsettling when someone is unphased by fear. Fear can have such robust control over so many people’s lives, so for someone to have the utmost in positive thinking and never let fear stop, you can be quite a shock. You may consider fear:

  • An opportunity to grow and better yourself
  • A new experience to live through and learn from
  • An essential and vital part of life

positivity meme

9.    You Are Stubborn

Stubbornness can be an excellent trait to have in moderation, but others may find your determination to be intimidating. Being stubborn is one of the key reasons why you may be such a good problem-solver. Not taking no for an answer and doing your best to solve issues that you can see solutions to is the sign of a go-getter.

Others might find it challenging to understand this trait of yours, and if they aren’t intimidated or impressed by it, they may even become confused. To them, it’s a mystery why you would take up a great deal of your time-solving problems they’ve given up on, instead of merely letting it go.

10. You Never Get Envious

Refraining from falling into patterns of bitterness or envy at other people’s success can be a tough thing to do. As such, it makes sense that someone might find you intimidating if you never get envious of others.

Here are some traits that someone may have if they don’t fall prey to the green-eyed monster:

  • They know that their chance for success is unaffected by their current job, money or status
  • They can congratulate others without any envy or malice present
  • Being career-focused people with their own goals and don’t bother trying to meet other people’s
  • They know that every person is different and has a different path in life
  • Finally, they don’t view life as a race; they take their time and work on their aspirations at a pace that challenges them and them alone

11. You Always Want To Learn More

Close-minded people feel intimidated and insecure in the face of someone full of curiosity and always striving to learn more. So if you’re someone who understands that you don’t have all the answers in this complex world, your open-minded eagerness to grow and learn may throw off the people around you.

12. You Are Quick To Read Others

People find it intimidating when they meet someone that can accurately read them within moments of a first meeting. This is especially true for people who have ulterior motives, malice, or unfavorable characteristics, as you will not hesitate to call them out once you get a read on them.

Still, even those with good intentions only can be intimidated by quick reads. No one wants to feel like their entire life has been spilled within a few seconds, and it can make some people feel quite unsafe.

13. You Select Friends Carefully

Are you someone who chooses your friends very carefully? If so, the fact that you are so selective and even picky can be intimidating. This is because you don’t hesitate to cut off toxic people and want friends who are your peers, not those who will use you or who can’t contribute to your life in the same way you can contribute to theirs.

Still, this level of selection with friends can be a positive thing. This is because:

  • Equally strong-willed friends can boost your self-control and discipline, while those who are not disciplined will lead to slacking on your end.
  • You are less likely to take financial risks that may not end in a positive way if you have fewer friends in your life.
  • Having proper socialization levels can lengthen your lifespan.
  • The friends you make influence the choices that you make throughout your life.
  • You can learn from good friends who are in right positions or have the knowledge to share
  • A good friend group is one that lifts each other up.

intimidatingFinal Thoughts On Some Signs Your Personality May Be Intimidating People

Is it bad if your personality intimidates people? Not necessarily! It often points to a strong will, determination, and independence for which others should strive.

You shouldn’t feel the need to change those parts of yourself unless you absolutely want to. But do expect people to be a little nervous about speaking up around you, and don’t be surprised if people are taken aback when you reveal you can be a sweetheart after all!

 

Lifestyle

20 Things To Never Say About Love To Single People

20 Things To Never Say About Love To Single People


Relationships, especially romantic relationships, are tricky business. Love is one of the most profound emotions that we can experience. Most of us seek to be loved and accepted by a person in a relationship in ways that bring out the best we have to offer. But others enjoy being single people!

For many people, romantic relationships are one of the most meaningful experiences a person can have in life; the need for human connection and to be wanted and needed seems innate. While we may go about achieving the establishment of this relationship in different ways, we desire a partner that understands, celebrates, and wants to grow with us through thick and thin.

Some psychologists theorize that the ability to forge healthy relationships starts in infancy when we come to an understanding of what it means to be connected to someone. We might not be able to articulate these feelings into words. Still, we form a perception about what being in a “healthy” relationship means to us, and we form an opinion as to whether or not we want to make an effort to create meaningful relationships in our lives.

Single people vs. happy couples

Do we have to be at odds with one another? Why can’t we all just get along and accept each other for our pathways in life? There seems to be a stigma in our society regarding single people—–, it is assumed that they are usually unhappy with relationships, somehow fundamentally flawed, or in between relationships.

We make similar judgments about “happy couples.” These dynamic duos have it all, they are forward-thinking, they have a harmonious home life, and they will be together forever.

The longer you live, however, and the more experience you have with all significant relationships in your life, the more you find that there is some serious gray area in between both of these extremes. Let’s not assume too much about each other, but for the intent and purpose of the rest of this article, we’ll be speaking specifically to those single people who don’t want to be told that they are “waiting,” “unhappy,” or “unfulfilled.”

If you are in a relationship, congratulations! We hope you are happy! If you are one of those couples who want to set up your single friends on the next Saturday date night, you might want to avoid these phrases when talking about what is to come as a result of your matchmaking efforts.

single people

Here are twenty things never to say about love to single people:

In case you’re on the receiving end of these questions, we’ve included some tips for you, too!

1. Why are you still single?

Newsflash! There’s nothing wrong with being alone. This question is probably one of the most offensive things that a single person can hear. In the middle of a backhanded compliment implying that you are fabulous, there’s a lurking, small question regarding what may be wrong with you. Refuse to answer that question and live your life!

2. Are you dating anyone?

Not everyone has to date to feel fulfilled. There are plenty of singles out there who are completely happy with the lives that they have created–sans dates. Regardless of where you are on the dating timeline, you can choose to divulge information or keep it to yourself. If you would like help finding someone special, ask for it. If not, steer clear of those friends and family members that will inevitably ask this question at the next social gathering you are at.

3. You will find plenty of fish in the sea!

Of course, there are plenty of fish in the sea! Not all fish are compatible with one another, however, and if you had your eye on a particular fish, you might be disappointed to find that the two of you cannot swim together anymore. It would honestly be more comforting to have them empathize with you on how the dissolution of valued relationships sucks. You don’t need to focus on more opportunities until you are ready.

4. I never liked “so and so” anyway.

Your breakup may have been ugly, you may never want to see them again, but that doesn’t mean that your coupled-off friends can start bashing single people and their dating practices. You legitimately cared about this person, and you need time to grieve without finding out that your loved ones were not in support of your relationship from the beginning.

pop meme

5. Surely you don’t want to end up alone!

And why not? What’s wrong with being alone? Single people lead lives that are just as fulfilling as those of their married and partnered counterparts. Instead, it all comes down to what you choose as right and appropriate for you and your life’s goals. If you want to rock the single catwalk, go for it! Make no apologies!

6. Don’t worry. Your time will come

Just what time is it that your married friends are talking about? There may not be the right time for you to meet that someone special, and that’s okay. You are not racing against society, a time clock, or Father Time, for that matter. If it happens, it happens. If not, be happy with what life has brought you, and look for opportunities to be grateful for the gifts that you have.

7. Why not spend time focusing on yourself instead?

Who says you are not already doing this? You can focus on yourself AND look for a relationship, or you can focus on the details of your life that will bring you happiness and fulfillment. It does not have to be in the form of a relationship. Create your best experience, and see what beautiful gifts of relationships unfold naturally.

8. Don’t you want to have children?

Having children is not for everyone. So whether you want to have them or not, there are steps that single people take to start a family without the addition of a relationship. Foster parenting and adoption are options for you if you want to experience what it’s like to raise a child, and if you have the opportunity to create children with someone special, it’s a bonus. This question is rather personal, and you have every right to politely decline to answer if the occasion calls for it.

9. I know what will be right for you

Oh my, there are plenty of people in your inner circle that think they know what’ll be right for you. Who knows what is best for you, though? That’s right…..YOU. Only you can do some soul searching and find what it is that you genuinely want regarding relationships, and only you can seek to make that happen. Single people make solid choices, too; allow yourself the freedom to express yourself for who you truly are.

10. What’s wrong with you, anyway?

While we might bristle at that question and push back even when we are jokingly asked this question, secretly, we might wonder ourselves if there is just something fundamentally unlovable about us. We all have those moments of neurosis; they will pass, and as you learn to ride the wave of life and appreciate what comes to you, you’ll be less and less affected by this ignorant question.

11. How’s the single people life?

You are not the ambassador for millions of single people around the planet. You can only speak for your experience of single life. Don’t be afraid to gently correct as you regale sizzling tales from your life, and bring the asker to the realization that no subgroup of people can be classified together as having a shared experience.

12. Deciding to get married is the best choice you’ll ever make!

Marriage is not for everyone. It takes time, commitment, and hard work. While it might be the bee’s knees for some people, it might not be for you. Realize that this opinionated statement is a perception based on something that someone else has experienced, and you have the right to create your unique pathway.

13. Don’t ever get married!

Again, this very opinionated statement is based on one other person’s bad experience with and perception of marriage. You should be allowed to formulate your own opinions without being barraged by those of others. While it’s unfortunate that this does take place in relationships, it does not have to be the ending of your story. You are the master of your tale.

pop meme

14. You must love yourself before someone else can love you.

It’s a massive assumption that you have low self-esteem. So how dare anyone else look at your unique situation and judge your opinion of yourself? Recognize the ignorance that comes with this statement, and take a look within to see if there are areas and things about yourself that you could accept more willingly. Regardless of relationship status, more work on the “self” translates to more happiness and peace. Isn’t that what we’re all after anyway?

15. I think it’s great that you’re happy all by yourself.

This sentence is one of those statements that you’re just not sure how to take. Is it a compliment? Is it borne of sympathy and pity? Couples do not have a monopoly on happiness, so if you are rocking life by yourself, keep on trucking!

16. I cannot imagine having to put myself out there again!

Great news! Dating people is not the same as sitting in line at the DMV. It can be an experience rich with adventure, excitement, and the potential for love. Sure, you might find a few rocks along the path, but move them aside and keep enjoying your walk. Have fun with the opportunity you have to meet others and learn more about yourself in the process.

17. Don’t worry. You’ll get lucky one day just like I did!

Marriage and Couplesville is not a slot machine–you don’t pull a lever and receive your potential partner at the bottom of a device. If you choose to date and meet someone seriously, it should be a thoughtful process of co-creating the future with someone.

Take matters into your own hands if you choose to, and with some thoughtful contemplation, determine what type of partner, relationship, and life you wish to have.

18. You just need to be more “presentable.”

What the heck does that mean? Should you get a gym membership? How about veneers? Do you need to get a makeover or start coloring your hair? If someone does not accept you for who you choose to be and how you choose to express yourself, they can keep on walking. This rule goes for your friends and family members too, by the way. Don’t let anyone talk to you like that.

19. What do you do on the weekends?

There are plenty of things to do in a single weekend; the sky’s the limit with how you choose to craft your time. The fact that people assume you are not doing anything because you “don’t have a special someone” is entirely erroneous. Fill your weekend with whatever you want to fill it with, and leave the speculation to those most opinionated couples around you who need a little education when it comes to a single perspective.

20. Why are you pushing love away?

Why is there a stigma that the only meaningful love that can be experienced in life is that which comes from a romantic partner? You have the love of family, friends, and others around you that make your life rich and meaningful. Refuse to feel bad about the experience that you have created, and look forward to loving as it comes your way, in whatever form it takes.

single people

Final Thoughts on Being Compassionate to Single People

Regardless of your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions of love, you have every right to create your life and relationships in a way that feels best to you. Realize that others are entitled to their opinions and that you don’t necessarily have to defend your actions and choices to anyone other than yourself. Have fun, enjoy the ride, and see where’d life…..and love…..take you!