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12 Actions a Person With a Hidden Agenda Displays Before Revealing Themselves

12 Actions a Person With a Hidden Agenda Displays Before


We’ve all had at least one toxic person in our professional and private lives over the years. They may be relatives, friends, or coworkers who subtly weave you into their personal agenda.

It may take months or even years before you realize what this individual is doing behind the scenes. Not all manipulative people are inherently evil. Some are conditioned at an early age to believe that the world owes them something, and people are in their lives for their advantage.

On the other hand, just because someone is a good person doesn’t mean your chemistry isn’t toxic. Wouldn’t it be nice if you had an invisible truth detector that could reveal everyone who lies and only wants to use you?

Just think of all the frustration and heartache it would have saved you over the years. Unfortunately, there’s no such machine, and you must rely on well-honed instinct and intuition to detect selfish agendas.

The motives behind some manipulative people may be evident to you, and you can easily break ties. Others can craftily wrap you into a web of guilt and a false sense of responsibility to them, and they influence your thinking. They eventually snare you into a burdensome relationship that does nothing but benefit themselves.

Red Flags Someone Has a Hidden Agenda

How can you discern a toxic person before you become an unwilling participant in his sordid agenda? You can’t always avoid being burned in a personal or professional relationship, but some red flags are detectible. Here are 12 actions a person with a hidden agenda displays before revealing themselves.

1. He Triggers Gut Feelings

Your powers of intuition are just as vital as your reasoning and reaction skills. While we all have it, some learn to improve their intuitive gifts. Sorting out manipulative people requires you to trust your gut feelings.

Have you ever been around somebody and just felt that something was off? He may seem perfectly pleasant and accommodating, but you still don’t resonate with his personality. Be wise and watch for other warning signs that this person may not be as he seems.

2. You Catch Her in Lies

Nobody is above telling a little white lie to protect themselves or someone else, and we learn the deceptive art at an early age. However, consistent lying becomes a character flaw that can be detrimental to personal or professional relationships. There is no bond without trust and honesty.

A toxic person will often tell lies about the most senseless subjects. Does she create big whoppers about his past, career, or his abilities? If she is lying is so apparent about common issues, what other deceptions is she feeding you?

The perfect way for you to know that a person is lying to you is eye contact and body language. Most people can’t maintain good eye contact and seem awkward when they are deceptive. However, beware of pathological liars who show no signs and are so believable, they often deceive themselves.

toxic relationship3. She Talks About Her Favorite Subject: Herself

What can be more frustrating than to be stuck in a conversation with an egomaniac? Healthy dialogue is like a game of tennis, where the discussion volleys smoothly from one side to the other. If a person in your life continually monopolizes conversations, take note of it.

Narcissistic people secretly battle low self-esteem and fear, so they are compelled to stay in the limelight and belittle any perceived competition. You know the type, no matter what you know or have done, she can one-up you. If all she can talk about it herself, be assured that her agenda is just as selfish.

4. He Is on a Mission

How many times have you worked with a colleague on a project and saw that he wanted to ride your coat tails to success? Maybe you met a guy who seemed really into you until he hinted that you introduce him to your best friend? These manipulative people have a mission, and you are only a tool for their accomplishments.

You can often tell these self-interested ones within one or two conversations. Your new best friend may be working out fine until she gives you a stack of sale catalogs for products she represents. Fortunately, agendas like these are self-evident, and you can cut ties early before they become a problem.

5. You Observe Signs of Hypocrisy

When a person has a deep conviction about something, it remains true regardless of the company and situation. For example, how would you feel about a guy who says he values honesty, yet he didn’t pay for the desserts the server accidentally forgot on the bill on your last date.

It has been said that a person shows his real character when he thinks no one is watching or listening, if they don’t, then they are a hypocrite. Does the individual in your personal or professional relationship preach one set of values and practice another? If so, his benefits may be skewed, and his plan may not be one you appreciate.

6. He Is Obsessive About a Subject

Often, the thoughts and desires we keep hidden from our partners will manifest itself in other areas. However, some people are so preoccupied with personal gain that they discuss it obsessively. You may not need to do much research to get the hint.

What if you are in a romantic relationship, and you’ve created goals as a couple? Maybe you agreed that you would keep working after you got married. Wouldn’t you feel a little concerned if he kept suggesting that you will quit your job and stay at home soon?

Coworkers can also be visible when they want to use others to vie for higher positions and salaries. Listen to his conversations in the office and the break room. If his discussions are one-sided and manipulative, don’t get caught in his wave of self-promotion.

7. He Has a History of Being a Manipulator

Of course, we’ve all done things we weren’t proud of in the past. Some people learn from their mistakes, while others turn them into a lifetime of bad habits. As they say, love may be blind, but hindsight is twenty-twenty.

It pays you to notice patterns in your love interest’s life. Has he been married more times than a movie star? Have his past relationships been broken because he cheated, yet he swears he will be faithful to you? These are all classic signs that you need to watch as their manipulative tendencies could have caused this pattern.

honest person8. She’s Letting Anxiety Get the Best of Her

Women tend to let their anxiety show more than men, though that isn’t always the case. If you notice that she is showing signs of anxiety, such as dizziness, sweating, unable to sit still, and panicking, then it could be that she is toying with revealing a hidden agenda. She is, no doubt, nervous about how people will react to her plot being brought to the forefront.

9. You’ve Noticed His Body Language is Off

You can tell a lot from someone’s body language. If a hidden ploy is coming to light, then the body language might be forth-telling. If they are excited about the plan being exposed for their gain, then they may be giddy with excitement.

However, if they are nervous about their plot coming out, then they may be angry, irritable, grouchy, and quiet. Watch his body language because it can tell you more about the manipulator than anything that comes out of his mouth.

10. He Is Being Super Secretive

There’s an old saying that states that anything done in secret will always come out. If he has something that he is hiding, there is a reason for his secretive nature. It’s often his toxic intentions that are not ready to be exposed.

If you notice that he is secretive about everything in his life, or he takes his phone in the other room to avoid you hearing the conversation, then somethings up.

11. She Is a Bit on Edge

Oversized reactions are common when someone has a hidden agenda. Some may say these reactions are caused by their anxiety, kicking up as the body is going into that fight or flight response.

However, others may say that the real reason your friend is on edge is that they can become emotional at anything that derails their plans. It can also be that their apparent use of emotions serves as an attempt to shut down discussion in resistance to their goal.

12. Her Stories Don’t Add Up

It’s often the case that many people will start seeing the holes in a story long before the truth about a plot comes out. If you add the components together and find inconsistencies, it could be forth-telling about the big reveal.

You don’t want to accuse your friend because of a couple of discrepancies, but if you find that things don’t make sense, trust your gut feeling.

Final Thoughts on Detecting a Person with a Secret Agenda

It’s often the case that many people already know that something is off before anything is revealed in their toxic relationship. Always trust your gut instincts as they are there to protect you.

If you are genuinely caught off guard and had no clue what was happening, then you can use these red flags to keep you from getting into a situation like that again.

Lifestyle

10 Behaviors That Reveal a Bitter Person »

10 Behaviors That Reveal a Bitter Person »


Bitter people are hard to live with; they lash out at everyone around them. People wonder how to spot bitterness. So, what are ten behaviors that reveal a bitter person? And how do you cope with them?

It’s easy to spot a bitter person once you learn their tell-tale poor behaviors.

10 Red Flags of A Negative and Bitter Person

1 – Lack gratefulness

Bitter people feel cheated by life. Even if they have a great experience, they won’t express gratitude. The glass is always half-empty. They will not express thanks for their family or friends, their home, or their job because there’s still something wrong with each of these things. Something or someone has disappointed them, and that looms larger than their blessings.

How to cope with an ungrateful person:

Remember, this person isn’t a terrible person. Instead, they feel overloaded with emotions they can’t unravel. Kindness and patience will make them feel like you are a real friend.

bitter person

2 – Cynical

Cynicism is mistrust and suspicion. You can’t make a bitter person happy. In their eyes, you’ll  fall short in doing what they “expected.” They will say something like, “I’m not surprised; it’s what people always do to me.” They’re like a dark cloud on a sunny day. Their cynicism overshadows everything they do and say.

How to cope with the cynic in your life:

It may take your bitter friend or colleague a while to trust you. They may even push you away at first, but be persistent. Don’t let their bitterness pull you down, stand firm in who you are. Your bitter friend no doubt has suffered, and they’re lashing out. So, be emphatic towards them without being drawn into their bitterness.

3 –  Bitter people hold a grudge

It’s normal for you to have a misunderstanding with someone, but you can work it out and then let it go. You don’t hold grudges. Even if you can’t agree on a solution, you’ll let it go since you don’t want to spend your time or energy holding on to a grudge. But bitter people can’t let go of things. They become obsessed with their grudges and the people who have wronged them.

How to cope with resentful feelings of others:

Don’t agree with their assessment of other people. If they want to vent their anger, tell them you disagree in a kind but firm voice.  Show them you aren’t entering into their bitterness trap.

4 – Jealousy

Bitter people are jealous of others who they perceive are getting what they deserve.

 Studies found that your emotions influence your judgment. Participants were first made to feel love, then asked to rate different candies and chocolate as sweet or bitter. The participants who felt love rated the candies and chocolates as very sweet. But the participants who experienced jealousy said the candy and chocolate were less pleasing.

Bitterness influences a person’s perception. They become jealous when their friends or co-workers talk about a recent success, a new home, or their promotion. They can’t stand it that others receive things they want or think they should have.

How to cope:

It’s not a good idea to share personal things with a bitter person. Their jealousy will turn into gossiping about you to others, putting you in a bad light. Keep your conversations shallow and upbeat.

bitter person

5 – They are vocal about their bitterness

Bitter people aren’t private about their anger. They let everyone know that their life is unfair. They’re looking for someone to agree with them so they can justify their feelings. Their bitterness spills out onto others, like acid tainting anyone’s good mood. Working with a bitter person is exhausting because they suck all the life out of you by continually complaining and bemoaning their lot in life.

How to cope:

Don’t get dragged into their bitterness rant. If the person has become more of a friend to you when you are alone with them, bring up to them how they sound, their propensity to be angry and bitter. It could be that no one has ever pointed this out to them and shared it humanely.

6 – Blame shifting

A bitter person blames others for their circumstances rather than accept responsibility. They will set themselves up as the “ideal worker” or “ideal parent.”

Others will be the ones who have caused problems at work or ruined their kids, but not the bitter person.

They have no responsibility because they feel like the victim. Indeed, they are the sufferer (in their minds). Also, this person won’t take responsibility for their angry, bitter emotions. They justify their blame-shifting with abusive language.

They’ll say things like, “I wouldn’t have to do this if she did her job!” or “She made me so mad I could have hit her.”

One study found that people who blame shift want to save face, to conceal their role.

How to cope with a person who refuses to accept accountability:

Refuse to accept the blame, stand your ground in an emphatic voice and manner. Don’t get dragged into their blame-shifting of others either.

7 – Irritable and annoyed

Bitter people always find something to complain about. Something or someone annoys them. Nothing is ever right in their life. They’ll complain about people at work, their family and people at stores.

In their minds, their co-workers aren’t doing their jobs, and their kids aren’t working hard enough at school, and clerks at the store aren’t competent. Irritation and annoyance is a daily emotion for a bitter person.

How to cope:

You’ll notice what triggers a bitter person’s annoyance and irritation. You may need to avoid doing things that irritate them within reason. Some people can’t stand being joked with or teasing. But don’t be afraid of a bitter person, but if you know something pushes their buttons, try to refrain from doing it.

Here are fifteen proven reasons to make meditation a habit.

8 – Won’t like it if you’re positive and cheerful

If you try to cheer up a bitter person, be ready for a backlash. Angry people find cheerful, positive people irritating. Your positivity casts a light on their anger and resentment. They don’t want to own these emotions so that they will react.

They’ll ignore you or spew gossip about you to others. You’ve trod on their bitter turf, and they don’t like it. They may gossip about you to feel better about themselves. Angry people want to squash your happiness. It’s a form of manipulation to get you to be like them.

How to cope:

A bitter person needs to see that not everyone is like them. They need someone to stand up to them. Even if they don’t like cheerfulness or positivity, it is affecting them. Be positive, and don’t feel bad about it. Your identity isn’t in the bitter person’s opinion of you. If they don’t like you or gossip about you, let it roll off your shoulders. They’re miserable, but you don’t need to be.

9 – Can’t congratulate others

Bitter people find it hard to tell someone they’re doing a good job unless they are seeking approval. They do have their moments of being sweet to people they want to impress. They will often go out of their way to acknowledge a boss. But people they see as less important are worthless to them, so they will rarely admit good work or accomplishments.

How to cope with someone who cannot (or will not) celebrate your victories:

Don’t try to balance out your bitter friend’s destructive emotions. If you have a good relationship, point out your angry friend’s lack of congratulation or being happy for others. Often, they don’t realize how they come across because no one has ventured into their bitterness to point out the truth to them.

10 –  Bitter people make sweeping assumptions

A bitter person’s irritations and anger display hostility. They make generalizations about people and situations, lumping everyone together. They carry prejudices, judge others, and cast themselves in an excellent light.

Studies show that such anger and hostility that a bitter person holds can affect their health. Doctors found those who are anger and aggressiveness could cause heart problems, diabetes, car accidents, or bulimia.

How to cope with people who make inaccurate assumptions:

Be emphatic without being drawn in. When they try to lump you into their generalization, gently point out you’re not that way. Be light-hearted with them, even joking in a self-deprecating way. If they drop their guard and show some vulnerability to you, share your concern for their health. Tell them they need help to control their anger because it’ll destroy them.

angry partner

Final Thoughts on Identifying and Dealing with a Bitter Person

It’s hard to deal with a bitter person. You don’t want to be around them because their bitterness overshadows goodness in the day. They’re often blinded to their own emotions, maybe they’ve experienced deep hurt in their lives, and they’re angry about it.

Strangely, bitter people often attract cheerful people who want to help them. It’s not easy to be emphatic towards an angry person. Their bitterness is contagious. But you can be emphatic without agreeing with them.

Stand your ground, but show them kindness. It may feel like you’re hugging a cactus because of their angry barbs at you. Stay positive and when they see you are their friend, find ways to have more in-depth conversations with them. Share your concerns for them, and point out things they say and do that hurt them.

Be careful. Bitterness is contagious. Don’t get bitten by their venom, so you’re drawn into becoming a bitter person yourself.

Lifestyle

12 Traits of a Genuinely Honest Person 

12 Traits of a Genuinely Honest Person 


Ben Franklin coined the phrase, “Honesty is the best policy.” Back in Ben’s day, honesty was important in relationships. It’s no different today. Truth-telling is important. You may wonder how to tell if someone is telling the truth or lying. So, what are the behaviors and traits of a genuinely honest person?

Here’s why we have trouble pinpointing them. Everyone lies.

Even if you say you’re an honest person, you probably lie every day without realizing it. If a friend buys you lunch and asks if you enjoyed the meal, you might say yes out of a desire to save the person’s feelings even though your food was cold and tasteless.  On average, you get lied to 200 times a day. One study found that 40% of adults said they fib at least once a day, usually in small ways.

12 Behaviors of an Honest Person

1. Drops the profanity

You may have heard that the use of profanity means a person is honestly expressing their thoughts and opinions. In fact, politicians who believed this began using more profanity in hopes of appearing honest. Curious about this premise, researchers conducted a study to find out if it was true. They found that, in fact, the opposite is exact. Sincere people tend to use less profanity, not more. Honest people don’t need profanity to make their point or to convince you they’re being honest. They’re just honest.

2. Won’t use the word, “honestly”

If you’re talking with a person who peppers their conversations with “honestly” or “to tell you the truth,” they’re lying to you. This phrase may appear as being candid or straightforward, but it’s a dead give away of being dishonest.  Liars also use phrases like “to be perfectly honest” or “let me be honest with you,” to convince their listener they’re sincere. This kind of qualifying language discredits the speaker and reveals their deceit.

3. Gestures correctly

Dishonest people tend to gesture AFTER they speak instead of during or before they talk. Everyone uses gestures, it’s reasonable to gesture while you’re talking. But when someone gestures at the wrong time, it’s a sign of deception. It’s as if the person is making up the answer as they go along, and their gesturing can’t keep up with their words.  Honest people gesture in the right way and at the right time for emphasis, not because they are lying to you.

4. Normal voice tone

Liars change their voice tones in conversations. They may get louder as they talk. The more they talk, the louder they will get. Or they will lower their voice as if they’re telling you something in confidence. It’s as if the person feels defensive, and their pitch is revealing this to you as they continue to lie. It’s a dead giveaway when someone does this, so don’t believe them. You can spot an honest person in conversations because their voice will be consistent throughout the discussion.

stress

5. Blinks normally

It’s thought that a person who is lying to you blinks more often and has longer blinks than a person who is telling the truth. Changes in their blinking patterns are also a sign of lying. This subtle clue is worth watching while you’re in conversations. It’s a pretty clear indicator the person isn’t being honest with you.

6. No throat clearing

Honest people use a normal voice tone without constant throat clearing or hard swallowing before they answer. A person who continually clears their throat before he answers your question, he is probably lying to you. He’s probably feeling anxious about lying, and this may cause his throat to feel dry out, so he needs to cough or clear his voice to talk.

7. Mouth looks normal

Honest people hold their mouths regularly during conversations with you. A dishonest person purses their lips or tenses their mouth while in chat. They may give you a fake smile or a half-smile. A real smile involves the eyes, not just the mouth. When a person smiles, there are wrinkles at the edge of their eyes, called crow’s feet, that will appear. A person who is fake smiling smiles only with their mouth, not their eyes.

8. Movements are natural

Non-verbal clues are often the best way to tell if someone is lying to you. If the person you’re talking to shuffles their feet or moves around in their chair or fidgets with the clothes, there’s a good chance they’re lying to you. But a liar may also become unnaturally stiff, freezing their upper body movements. In general, unnatural movements being either too stiff or too busy, are indications a person is lying to you.

stay calm
Learn how to stay calm during an argument (even when you don’t feel it).

9. Pupils aren’t dilated

It’s often thought that when someone doesn’t look you in the eyes, they’re lying. But studies show that looking either to the left or right isn’t necessarily a sign of lying. Liars will look at you too much. Practiced liars maintain eye contact with a type of stare-down ability. When they do this, the pupils of their eyes will dilate, indicating they’re not being truthful.

10. An honest person looks relaxed, not moving too much or too little

If you’re in a conversation with someone who is lying, they will often wiggle or tap their feet nervously. Honest people are calm. They don’t shuffle their feet to distract you or out of nervousness. They’ve nothing to hide, so they aren’t worried you’ll find out they’re lying to you.

11. Uses non-formal language

Liars use formal language to cover up their lies. Saying, “I did not commit a crime,” instead of “I didn’t do it,” tells you that the person is working hard to cover up their lie. Liars use this formal way of answering questions to try to appear sincere and truthful. Honest people use ordinary, everyday language when they answer questions because they don’t have anything to hide.

12. Doesn’t give you too much information

When a person is lying to you, they’ll often repeat your questions back to you. They’ll give you lots of unnecessary details as if to overload you with information to deflect their lies. These are subtle but clear clues the person isn’t being honest with you. They’re stalling, trying to come up with an answer they think you will believe. It’s a classic indication of lying.

Final Thoughts on Identifying When You’re Dealing with an Honest Person

Figuring out if someone is an honest person isn’t simple. Many gestures get misunderstood as lying when the person is just nervous. It takes practice and the ability to get to know the person to understand whether they’re lying to you. Ask lots of questions, probe into what they’re saying to you. Look for inconsistent patterns in their speech, nodding yes when they say “no.”

Also, look at their attitudes and subtle movements. If someone is co-operative and ready to work with you to help you to get the truth, that’s a pretty good indication they’re being honest with you. They’ll be willing to share their ideas or brainstorm or provide details to solve the problem. Clear indicators that the person you’re talking to is lying will include looking down frequently, pausing, or being withdrawn, unnecessary head shakes, or shrugging.

Lifestyle

18 Traits Of A Truly Mature Person

18 Traits Of A Truly Mature Person


Many people strive to show maturity. It involves a level of wisdom, intelligence, and emotional awareness. But, surprisingly, being a mature person doesn’t have all that much to do with age!

Maturity is a valuable trait, and it’s one that you can learn slowly by incorporating certain habits into your life. Here are 18 characteristics of a truly mature person.

18 Traits a Mature Person Displays

1.    Kindness and Consideration

Someone mature is often compassionate, as compassion is an indication that you are capable of placing other people’s interests in front of yours. This trait means that you can:

  • Celebrate the successes of others without jealousy
  • Learn how to sacrifice in moderation for the betterment of others
  • Take an interest in the wellbeing of others

mature person

2.    Maintaining Commitments

Delayed gratification is difficult for anyone who isn’t mature. You need to focus on meeting commitments, even when those commitments may no longer be impressive for you. Here are some examples of engagement found in mature people:

·         Meeting Deadlines

A committed person ensures that their work is completed and sent on time or sooner, even if they don’t have the motivation to do it.

·         Keeping Promises

Another way to be mature is by honoring your word. If there is someone you promised to meet, make sure you meet them or give them a heads up and proper explanation if you are unable to do so.

·         Being Consistent

When taking on commitments, more often than not, they are marathons rather than sprints. This accountability means you need to keep a consistent pace and focus on steady progress over hurrying forward until your passion dies.

3.    Emotional Control

Maturity involves reasonable emotional control. Someone who is mature will not be quick to anger, projecting a positive demeanor. This outcome is done by:

·         Being Cool

You will be able to appear relaxed and calm if you can control your emotions, and others around you will instinctively relax, too. It’s a prime mark of maturity.

·         Having A Solid Emotional Foundation

Mature individuals have an emotional strength that provides a good foundation for their positive thinking. This means they are less likely to be overwhelmed by too-strong feelings, preventing destructive tendencies.

·         Not Allowing Anger To Control You

A mature person is in full control of their anger. Though some things can still take them by surprise, they will likely not be easily irritated or discouraged by setbacks.

dr phil quote

4.    Being Guided By Principle

Principles can help guide an individual in their maturity. The values your principles hold can help point you towards living an honorable and respectable life. Having beliefs helps you with:

  • Being more proactive instead of reactive as you progress through life
  • Mastering your emotions
  • Making decisions, you can be happy with

5.    Modesty and Humility

Modesty and humility are often associated with maturity. Your humility allows you to put yourself on the same level as others and understand them better. This means you:

  • Do not let success cloud your judgment and personality
  • Will always treat others with respect regardless of their social standing
  • Will not place yourself on a higher level than to others

6.    Applying Knowledge

Maturity often links with intelligence, and intelligence is often associated with the ability to learn from past experiences. A mature person is someone that implements their expertise in everything they do.  For example:

  • They have an awareness of themselves as well as their surroundings
  • These people can make informed decisions based on the situation at hand
  • They often have positive thinking and avoid excessive complaining in bad situations

7.    Self-Management

Self-management is an essential trait for maturity. Being mature means having the capacity to manage your own life in a self-sufficient manner, under your ability. This involves:

  • Being able to ask for help in a positive way when needed, without playing the victim
  • Having the ability to collaborate mutually with others to complete a task
  • Ensuring that they complete tasks and commitments on time

8.    Taking Responsibility

All choices come with consequences, and as a mature person, you should be able to take responsibility for your decisions. This means taking accountability with positive thinking when you are even partially responsible for difficult situations.

But taking responsibility isn’t just about righting your wrongs – it’s also about being responsible for yourself and for those you commit to. All in all, maturity can involve:

  • Ensuring you are looking after your physical and mental wellbeing
  • Dealing with the positive results or negative consequences that come with your actions
  • Not shifting blames onto others

9.    Never Taking Advantage Of Others

A mature individual does not let being in a position of power cloud their judgment. They do not take advantage of others, even when it would be effortless for them to do so. As a person with a higher position, a mature person will:

  • Listen to the opinions of others and consider them instead of going on a power trip
  • Realize that their perspectives are not sufficient, as that they are a part of a broader world
  • Learn from others, no matter their position
  • Never control the people around them into doing things against their will
blackmail
Don’t allow emotional blackmail be part of your life.

10. Ignorance of Unimportant Criticism and Flattery

Being mature means being able to accept the opinions of others and learn from them. This open-mindedness is because maturity allows you to realize that things are not merely black and white, and nothing is as positive or negative as you may initially believe. The world simply doesn’t work like that!

Mature people don’t allow criticism, flattery, or compliments to sway them because they know that all these issues are subjective and based on individual and unique opinions. They will take constructive critique into account, of course, and will express gratitude for compliments, but they will not allow those things to rule them.

11. Enjoying Themselves

A lot of people incorrectly believe that maturity directly equates to being bland, boring, or continuously neutral. But that’s not true! Mature people know how to have fun and enjoy themselves. They understand that unwinding is necessary. This means that guilt-free, knowledgeable people:

  • Take time out of their schedules to enjoy their hobbies
  • Understand when they need to rest
  • Do not fully book their time with work

12. Self-Acceptance

It is not easy to accept yourself as you are, especially when others keep telling you that you should change. But when you are mature, you embrace who you are, and you are confident about yourself. You will feel comfortable with yourself instead of feeling inferior and wanting to please others by being someone you are not.

There is power in accepting yourself, complete with all your flaws and strengths. A mature person does not only obsess over their faults, instead embraces them and allows their appreciation of their intricacies to drive them to improve themselves and change for the better.

This doesn’t mean that mature people are full of themselves. It merely means that they are confident in their skin and accept themselves as they are. They have no interest in changing who they are to better fit in or make others happy.

13. Knowing Limits

Knowing your limits is a clear sign of maturity. Considering the potential risks associated with your actions and how they may affect you is a mark of a mature trait. This helps in decision making so that you can avoid situations where you bite off more than you can chew. This means they:

  • They are innovative, but they’ll never force their ideas onto others
  • Are daring, but are still cautious and do not endanger themselves or others
  • Do not take unnecessary risks

14. Open-Mindedness

A mature individual is open to looking at things from different perspectives. They strive to understand others and would never judge the people around them based on external factors or first impressions. Open-minded individuals:

  • Do not label others
  • Do not automatically exclude people who they don’t understand
  • Try to see where others are coming from
  • Strive to bridge the gap between different groups of people
  • Do not try to apply their perspectives to others

15. Looking Before Leaping

A mature individual would never claim to have all the answers, and that’s why they choose wisdom and forethought over jumping headfirst into all situations. This isn’t to say they aren’t game for risks or adrenaline-pumping events, but it does mean that in cases where that isn’t necessary, they see no point in acting without thinking.

Mature individuals may also consult those with more knowledge before jumping into new pursuits. This means mature people, as they love pursuing further information, are always asking questions – and they are never ashamed of where they get their knowledge from. They would also never claim to know everything, though they will happily share what they know with those who ask.

16. Knowing You Don’t Know everything

Here’s a simple fact – and this ties in nicely to our previous point! – no one knows everything. A mature person can easily accept that fact and is not interested in changing that. Instead, they focus on setting aside their pride and having the willingness to learn from just about anyone, even those who could be perceived as less knowledgeable.

17. Never Using Emotional Blackmail

Excellent and honest communication is a vital skill that every mature individual possesses. A mature person will never resort to using emotional blackmail when expressing their needs to others. Mature people can:

  • Be assertive with their communication
  • Convey authority in their words without sounding overly forceful
  • Be direct and convey all necessary information to others without beating around the book

18. Gratitude

Mature people are always able to find goodness in their life and be grateful for what they have. Armed with the knowledge that there are many other less fortunate individuals in the world, mature people are thankful for what they were born with and for all they can achieve.

As a mature person, you need to learn not to take things for granted. Instead of complaining about what you don’t have, instead, be grateful for what you do have and keep that positive thinking going!

mature personFinal Thoughts On Some Traits Of A Truly Mature Person

Anyone of any age can be mature. The only thing mature people have in common is their kind, smart, open-minded traits, and with this list of 18 of them, you can begin your path to true maturity.

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20 Comebacks When Dealing with a Selfish Person »

20 Comebacks When Dealing with a Selfish Person »


We all know a selfish person who makes everything about themself. Regardless of your intentions and actions, there is little you can do to make such people happy. No matter how hard we try to please them, something will always bother selfish people.

For instance, if you bring up a conversation about your accomplishments or problems, they bring it back to themselves. Eventually, you end up listening to their issues and opinions. That’s one of the reasons why selfish people are downright annoying.

That’s one of the reasons why nobody wants to be around self-centered people. 

Dealing with a selfish person is tricky. But, the first thing to do is to define and identify a selfish person

Here are the two primary characteristics of a selfish person:

  • Selfish people are always concerned exclusively or excessively with their image, health, and goals.
  • They have no respect for the feelings or needs of the people around them

When dealing with such people, it is foolish to expect any gratitude from selfish individuals for your help or right actions.

As much as you love or like your selfish friends or relatives, there is little hope that they will show any regard for your feelings or change their habits. While some of them can show-off moments of generosity, most of them lack the willingness or skill to be considerate. Understanding this trait will make you understand why a person fails to pay attention to your needs.

It’s not that they are not responsive. Such people can choose how they want to respond to a specific need. For instance, when you need their help, they can choose to ignore your request or pretend to be busy.

So please take a look at our collection of 20 of the most effective snappy and most effective comebacks that work when you are confronting a selfish person

20 Comebacks for Dealing with a Selfish Person

selfish person 1 – Thank you for listening to me and making it all about you!

Don’t you just wish you could say that to someone who keeps talking about themselves? Selfish people have a habit of ignoring the other person’s needs, and that’s one of the reasons why they never pay attention to your problems. Instead, they keep mentioning their own experiences. This one is best for all such occasions.

2 – Aren’t you exhausted from talking about yourself?

Just when you need someone to share your sorrows (or even joy), a selfish person keeps on ranting about how miserable they are, only to gain your sympathy. That’s not something you would want to listen to after a stressful or long day.

3 – I just returned from the center of the universe, and I wonder why you weren’t there?

Do not shy away from reminding selfish people that the entire universe does not revolve around them alone. Self-centered people have a habit of being caught up in their problems. There is no harm in giving a reality check to them every once in a while.

4 – The world does not revolve around you!

That’s another way of sending the same message across. The only problem is that a selfish person will pretend not to listen to it or simply ignore it. 

5 – Please tell me less about yourself

What a polite way to stop someone from going on and on about their likes and dislikes. That comeback works great on a first date when a self-centered person forgets to ask about your preferences and life goals.

6 – No, my status is not for you

Confront your stalkers or ex-partners. It’s common for a selfish ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend to drop in a few lines in response to every status of yours. Whether it’s on Facebook or any other network, it’s essential to silence them and make them realize you have other important things going on in your life.  

7 – Just get over it

What a sweet way to tell someone to shut up? You won’t feel bad, and the other person shouldn’t. After all, that’s what they need to do to make your (and everyone else’s) life more manageable.

8 – Do I only exist when you need something?

Ever had that friend who is nowhere to when you need them. But just when they need you, they will pop out of nowhere. Even if you have relocated or moved to another workplace, they will find you whenever their need arises. 

selfish person

9 – You are just like us!

A selfish person often things he/she is above everyone else. Probably, the last thing they want to listen to is that they are just everyone else! You are not disrespecting them or abandoning them. Instead, you remind them that they are not out of this world. 

10 – I can fix my appearance, but how will you adjust your personality?

Anyone who points out to how you look, dress, or appears deserves this comeback. A selfish person who wants to throw you off guard usually starts criticizing your appearance because they don’t have any other reasons to show their disapproval. You can’t change their habits but can put them in their place. 

11 – Did I ask for your advice/opinion?

Most people have solutions for all your problems and like offering tips when you need them the least. But whenever you offer them a piece of advice, they reject or refute it immediately.

Such people are insecure because they try to hide behind a false sense of supremacy. So, the next time they offer you their ‘valuable’ advice, don’t be afraid to ask this question.

12 – You’re wasting your time

Selfish people don’t mind wasting your time. But when it comes to their precious time, they would never imagine wasting it. That’s one of the reasons why this comeback works best for people who can’t stop making negative comments about your job, personal choices, and opinions. 

13 – Don’t you have anything nice to say?

Selfish people love focusing on your shortcomings. Why not shift the focus on them to change the subject? Trust us; this comeback works every time.

14 – I won’t even comment on that

Sometimes the best comeback is not saying anything at all. Selfish and toxic people need to feed their fragile ego. When you are indifferent to their comments and viewpoints, it shows that they have no power or control over your thoughts and emotions. 

positivity quote

15 – Thanks, but no thanks

Not everyone deserves your gratitude. One of the worst habits of selfish people is that they expect you to be thankful to them, even when they haven’t done anything for you. It’s not a bad idea to remind them that you don’t need their advice, approval, or opinions. 

16 – What on earth made you think that?

The best trick to answer a rude person is to pose another question. You can always counter negative emotions and comments by questioning the other person. With this comeback, you may be able to silence a nosy friend or colleague.

17 – Are you aware that there are two people in this room?

One of the habits of selfish people is that they think they are the only ones present in the room. That’s probably the reason they don’t even pretend to listen to you when you are talking. 

What a way to make them realize that you know what they’re trying to do?

18 – Are you always this funny?

Sometimes, narcissistic and selfish people use sarcasm or humor to mask insults, but just enough for you to identify their offensive remarks. This comeback stuns them because they expect you to smile or laugh sheepishly. 

Whenever someone says something that sounds more like an insult than a joke, end the conversation with this comeback. 

19 – Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t hear you. What were you saying?

No, you’re not rude. You are giving a selfish person another chance to reword his/her question or statement. This comeback shows that their comments do not affect you, and you are not open to their negativity.

20 – That makes one of us

Do not offer any explanations to prove your point. Simply disagree and move on! Your time is precious, and you certainly don’t want to waste it on people who have no respect for your thoughts and beliefs.  

selfish peopleFinal Thoughts on How to Deal with a Selfish Person

Dealing with a selfish person becomes easy when you know what to say to them and how. Letting go of their negativity will not make them assess their habits and make any changes. However, using comebacks such as these will help you to stay positive. 

Moreover, selfish people don’t care about what you think or say. They live in a fantasy world and form their opinions that you can’t change. However, do not let them get in the way of your happiness. No matter how much you love someone, define boundaries so nobody can hurt you ever.