Icetruck.tv News Blog

Red

Lifestyle

12 Red Flags Someone Is Too Assertive

Experts Reveal 6 Simple Strategies That Contribute To Personal Growth


The world is full of assertive people that have made their stamp in life. Sadly, these people are often misunderstood, or others feel that they have bad intentions. Just because someone speaks their mind and has moxie, it doesn’t make them a bad person.

How do you know if you’re a bit too assertive? Having a bit of force and self-confidence goes a long way, but you might need to tone it down since many misunderstand you. Here are some signs that you need to watch your self-assertive nature a bit.

Here Are Twelve Signs That Someone Might Be Too Assertive

Be honest. Do you exhibit these behaviors?

1. Assertive People Are Not Afraid to Speak Their Mind

It’s okay to speak your mind and let people know where you stand. What isn’t okay is saying things that are hurtful towards others. Even if you don’t like the dress or suit they’re wearing, some opinions need to be kept to yourself.

Evaluate your statements before you speak. If anything you say might be misunderstood or hurtful towards someone, then bite your tongue.

2. You Scare Some People

Do people fear you because they don’t know what you will say or do? Do others tiptoe on eggshells when you walk into a room? While it’s good to have a commanding presence and others’ respect, you don’t want people to be afraid of you.

People who fly off the handle and have rage might be assertive, and it could be an underlying medical condition and not self-confidence. If you find yourself being aggressive with your assertion, then it’s time to reevaluate yourself.

3. People Listen When You Talk

It’s a good thing when you talk that people listen. However, do they listen because they value what you say as a coworker or family member, or do people look like they’re afraid if they utter a word, you might slaughter them?

Make sure that people want to hear what you say because you’re engaging and not threatening. There is a big difference in why people draw crowds, and it’s not always good ones.

4. You Use Your Clout to Make Things Happen

Are you guilty of using your position to get things done? While there is certainly nothing wrong with dropping names or calling in favors from others to accomplish tasks, you should avoid blackmail and other unscrupulous methods. You want to be a mover and shaker and not someone underhanded like a mob boss.

5. You’ve Been Called Names a Time or Two

Assertive people are often misunderstood, and while some people want to be just like you, others hate the ground you walk on. It’s not uncommon for people with strong personalities to be called names. Even with the best of intentions, you can still ruffle a few feathers.

The real problem comes into play when you people have more hate than like for you. Being assertive and getting the job done is all well and good, but life sure is lonely if people misunderstand you so much that they don’t want to be around you.

6. Assertive People Rarely Ever Sugar Coat or Beat Around the Bush

Have you ever told someone to “Give it to me straight?” You’re not one that likes to beat around the bush or sugarcoat the truth. You will openly say what needs to be said without fear of any backlash.

The good thing about people that “shoot from the hip” is that you always know where you stand with them. The bad thing about people who are so straightforward is that they offend many people along the way. If your assertive nature is more offensive than helpful, then tone it back a bit.

A good rule of thumb to live by is that you should never tell people things they already know. They know the things they need to work on and what’s wrong in their lives. They don’t need you to point it out and offer unsolicited advice.

7. You’re Always a Leader

Have you been a leader since childhood? You would never dream of following someone else’s lead as you always have a clear-cut path to victory. While being a leader is an integral part of society, you need to learn when to step back and let someone else be in charge.

Do you often seem to take over a group of people no matter what the situation? You may even step in and try to control things over someone else that has already been designated as in charge.

Your assertive nature is good for leadership, but you can’t always be the leader. Learn when to follow sometimes too.

8. Your Passion and Opinions Are Often Misunderstood

Do you often feel like people misunderstand your motives or passions?

Let’s look at a real-world example of this.

Imagine this. You are a manager at your workplace and developed a strict policy about not allowing people to take time off, other than for vacation or illness. You cannot fathom workers who want to take their pets to the vet or want bereavement time for a loss is not acceptable.

To others, it may come across that you only care about work and the bottom line rather than your employees. Others view animals as members of the family. The loss of a dog or cat is a painful ordeal. Sadly, what many people don’t know is that you once loved pets. You just got your heart broken when your dog of 15 years died. You vowed you would never have another pet again.

While you’re passionate about the acceptable reasons people call off, you must allow a little leniency for individuality. You must remember that you can have an iron fist as a ruler, but you must still have a big heart.

9. Success is Not an Option

You decide that you want to do something, and you won’t stop until your dream comes to fruition. In your world, success is not an option but a destination. There’s nothing wrong with being goal-driven, and it’s easy to pour yourself 100 percent into your endeavors.

What’s not okay is to step on everyone else on the way to your goal. You can’t use people, play dirty, and even resort to blackmail tactics to get what you want. Sometimes people want something so bad because they cannot have it.

However, once they get the item they longed for, they realize they didn’t want it anyway. How many times has that happened to you with unrequited love? You pine after a man or woman so much that you can hardly sleep or eat.

You may go months or even years in the pursuit of this particular person. You’ve played things up in your mind to the point where you will die if you don’t have them for your own. Then, once you get them, you realize it wasn’t all that you made it up to be in your mind.

Be careful of what you consider a success in your life. Watch the people you must step on to reach your goal.

10. Your Confidence Intimidates Others

Do you find yourself intimidating? Have you ever heard someone has an “icy beauty” but is unapproachable? While the world acknowledges that this person is beautiful, they also want to point out that they are cold as ice on the inside.

Do you want to be so intimidating? True, people don’t climb their way to the top of the corporate ladder by being nice, but you should make friends on your way up and not enemies. Being assertive and self-confident is essential, but you don’t want others to think you’re a bully.

11. You Ask More Questions Than a Reporter

Assertive people often tend to be a bit nosy. Do you find yourself always asking tons of questions? Inquiring minds want to know, but what are you doing with the information that you’ve learned?

Many leaders know that one day they will need the information they have learned to benefit them. So if every conversation you engage in goes filed for later use, you may be too forceful in life. It’s okay to have everyday conversations for no reason but to engage with others.

12. Assertive People Take No Crap, and Everyone Knows It

People wouldn’t dare cross you because they know that you won’t put up with it. They fear what you might do in return. It’s okay for people to have a bit of respect for you that you won’t put up with their garbage, but they shouldn’t fear for their job or life if they are at odds with you.

Final Thoughts on Being Overly Assertive

There are all kinds of people in this world, and variety is the spice of life. However, there are strong personalities, and you or someone you love might be one of them. It’s perfectly acceptable to have a strong character and to be a commanding presence.

What’s not okay is resorting to name-calling, blackmailing, or methods of violence to get what you want. It would help if you never used someone else as part of your master plan to get where you want to be in life. Are you too assertive, or do you have just enough grit to get you where you want to go?

Lifestyle

10 Red Flags You Think Too Much (and How to Quit Overthinking)

10 Red Flags You Think Too Much (and How to


Do you find that you think too much? When you overthink, you analyze everything to the point of anxiety. If you think you may be doing this, check out these ten indicators of overthinking and how they can be harmful to you. Later, we will share some tips to combat the cycle of overthinking to help you rebalance your state of mind.

What is overthinking?

The tendency to overthink means you have an abundance of thoughts that never work out into real action. These overactive thoughts produce nothing but stress and worry. You may worry about what happened in the past or what’s going to happen in the future. Overthinking is usually about things you can’t control. Thinking too much can be paralyzing and lead to an anxiety disorder. Consider these ten red flags you may see in your life if you’re struggling with overthinking.

1 – Lack of focus due to racing thoughts.

When you’re continually examining your thoughts, actions, and conversations, your thoughts get in the way of your ability to concentrate on your daily activities. Your ideas may weigh so heavily upon you that you become distracted from real-life responsibilities. If your thoughts interfere with your daily life tasks, it’s a red flag. Step back and figure out how to let go of thoughts that prevent you from living your life.

2 – Your thoughts interfere with your work.

One study discovered that when athletes overthink, it disrupts their performance. It’s no wonder because when you overthink, you examine every action you make. This introspection causes you to second guess and doubts your ability to do things. A trained athlete relies on their mental and physical ability to perform. In the same way, if your mind is distracted, and you doubt your abilities, you won’t be able to do your work. This process can be disruptive to your job. This is a big red flag indicating that you’re overthinking things.

3 – Not paying attention to the people in your life.

Overthinking causes you to be caught up in your world most of the time. You aren’t fully there for others because of your all-consuming thoughts. Overthinking causes you to think more about yourself than others. When you’re with others, you may be distracted by views like this:

  • How do I feel right now?
  • Why do I feel like this?
  • Does this person like me?
  • They look sad. It’s probably because of me.
  • What did I do wrong?
  • Are they mad at me?

This rumination is a self-consuming way to live. You are not paying rapt attention to what others are saying or feeling. People may perceive you as uncaring or thoughtless, even though you aren’t. Overthinking is detrimental to your relationship with friends and family because it causes you to live in your head.

4 – What’s real?

Researchers found that overthinking interferes with your long term memory. As you rehearse things over and over, what happened gets rewritten in your mind.  Things begin to look worse than they were when you rehearse them in your mind. It is easy to put a negative spin on the past. So what happened seems utterly different from what really happened, yet you believe your version of the situation. It’s a twisted web that affects your thoughts and feelings.

5 – Feel nervous all the time

Overthinking can make you feel always nervous. Your thoughts feel out of control and overwhelming. Being consumed with these thoughts steals your ability to relax. Your nervousness is unhealthy and could make you sick. Taking control of your thoughts is critical to avoid feeling nervous all the time.

6 – Physical ailments

Overthinking can lead to an anxiety disorder. Researchers have found that some physical illnesses are caused by anxiety and stress. These ailments include

  • Headaches
  • Ulcers
  • Irritable bowel syndrome
  • Strange aches and pains
  • Insomnia
  • High blood pressure
  • Chest pain
  • Panic attacks

If you’re having these physical problems and you think it could be related to your overthinking, be sure to speak with your doctor. They can diagnose the physical issues and help you find strategies to slow down your overactive thoughts.

7 – Fatigue

Your overthinking makes you feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders. This mental exhaustion leads to fatigue since your brain has no time to rest. Mental burnout causes extreme tiredness. All your introspection and constant thinking solve nothing, but it hurts you the most.

8 – Your rehash conversations

Rehashing your conversations with other people is a red flag indicating you’re overthinking.  Do you rehearse every word, every smile, or eyebrow that moved during your discussions? Do you feel that you must understand everything the person said in case you missed something?

This rehashing of conversations twists your brain and makes you feel emotionally draining. These thoughts are harmful to you and could lead to an anxiety disorder. If you find yourself doing this a lot, you may consider possibly speaking to a counselor to help you figure out why, precisely, you are doing this.

9 – Insomnia

Insomnia can be a side effect of an overly active brain. If you’re an overthinker, your mind may race, even at night. In fact, night time can exaggerate your fears. That’s when you’re most vulnerable to worry. When your sleep is interrupted nightly, it affects your ability to function, plus it clouds your thoughts even more.

10 – Overanalyzing everything

When you think too much, you probably tend to overanalyze people’s every action and word. If you walk past a friend who doesn’t look at you right away,  you assume they’re mad at you. You start to remember things you’ve said and wondered if you made them angry. You begin to worry that they’ll never speak to you again. Your snowballing thoughts run wild. It’s consuming and centers on what you did wrong.

How can you stop overthinking?

There are some helpful new habits you can try to break free from overthinking. When your thoughts start to run wild into all the possible things that could happen, stop, and ask yourself these questions.

  • Is what I’m thinking right now true?
  • Will these thoughts help me or make me feel bad?
  • How could I look at this situation in a positive way?
  • What are the chances that what I’m thinking could happen?

Here are some other helpful tools to break free from thinking too much.

 1 – Focus on what’s good

When you’re tempted to overthink and expect bad things, instead, turn your thoughts to what is right. Think of all the positive outcomes in life that could (and have) happened. Remember, you control your thoughts. Your thoughts don’t control you. Refuse to permit your mind to go to the scary what-if scenarios. Tell your thoughts who’s boss and focus on the good in your life.

 2 – Distract yourself

Having excess time on your hands isn’t helpful if you have a busy mind. Too much time allows time for your mind to run wild. Stay active, don’t let yourself idle time to just sit and think. Interact with people, go to events, or volunteer at your local library. Find ways to serve others, so you’re not focusing on yourself.

3 – Control is overrated

There are many scenarios in life that can’t be controlled, but there are things within your control. It’s part of life. Focusing on what you can’t control isn’t helpful, and it can lead to anxiety. Instead, focus on what outcomes you can control, like your attitude and your choices. Try to remember that you’re not the only one who feels like life gets out of control. Everyone has those moments. Many people find that having faith in God helps them. They believe they can trust God to help them through those uncontrollable situations. Take a deep breath and relax. Let go of what you can’t control.

4 – Loosen fear’s grip

Fear is a tyrant. It enables you to think too much about your failures or your potential failures. It’s easy to focus on all the ways you’ve messed up. But everyone fails. Failure is a big part of life. Let go of your fear of falling again or failing in the future. Refuse to let fear control your thoughts. See your failures as opportunities to have a new beginning.

5 – Journal writing helps you release your thoughts

Writing down all your thoughts is a great way to get your overthinking in control. Dumping those fearful, anxious thoughts on paper releases them from your brain. Tell yourself that once your opinions hit the paper, they stay there. No more thinking about them. If you want to reread the thoughts later, that’s okay, but don’t allow yourself to think about them again.

6 – Talk to a friend

Find a trusted friend or confidante to talk to about your overthinking. Explain to your friend when you’re prone to overthinking thinking. No doubt,  they’ve already noticed that you do this.  Just talking about overthinking with someone else can help you begin to let it go.

7 – Find community

Finding a good community can help you refocus. It keeps you busy being with and helping others instead of being alone with your thoughts. Find a church, yoga group, or running club where you can make good friends who share similar goals.

Final Thoughts: Now That You Know You Think Too Much, Take Action

Everybody over thinks things once in a while, but if your brain is always on hyper-drive,  it could be harmful to your health. Overthinking can lead to anxiety disorders, which can affect your health. If you think too much, use these suggested tools to stop the progression of overthinking. Try a couple of these ideas at first and add more over time. Remember, you’re in control of your thoughts, not the other way around. Enjoy the freedom of letting go of those things you can’t control and enjoy your life without an overactive mind.

Lifestyle

Therapists Explain 10 Red Flags You’re Dating a Narcissist

Therapists Explain 10 Red Flags You're Dating a Narcissist


If you’ve been in the dating pool for a while, you know how difficult it is to find someone who is honest, genuine, and the best fit for you. Nobody is perfect, but you want to find a love interest who can own up to his mistakes just as well as you can. How do you know if you are dating a narcissist?

There’s a big difference between loving and respecting yourself and being chronically selfish. Narcissism is a broad mental health disorder that makes people believe they are the most important being on the planet, according to therapists. Some of the signs are a grossly inflated ego, refusal to accept responsibility or blame, constant cravings for attention and praise, and disregarding other people’s feelings.

The Myth of the Vain Narcissist

This uncommon personality disorder was named for Narcissus, a character from Greek mythology. According to the story, this child of the river god and a nymph was so beautiful; he fell in love with his reflection in a water pool.

So great was his love that he pined away until he died, leaving a trail of beautiful flowers that still bear his name. Although this is a fictional story, mental health disorder is real.

Types of Narcissism

Psychologists recognize six different types of narcissism, ranging from closeted to psychopathic. This research suggests that a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) may stem from a combination of heredity and environment. While therapy can help this condition, there is no cure.

  • Seductive Narcissist: These narcissists try to win your heart to display it as a trophy.
  • Bully Narcissist: To boost their ego, the bully narcissist puts others down and steps on people to get to the top.
  • Exhibition Narcissist: There’s no guessing about this guy because he proclaims his egocentric tendencies to the world.
  • Secret Narcissist: He may not push his selfish agenda on others, but he secretly believes he is superior and entitled.
  • Toxic Narcissist: The ranges of this narcissistic personality are characterized by chronic drama and a long history of abusive relationships.
  • Psychopathic Narcissist: Not only can this narcissist break your heart, but he could also take your life. Most mass murderers are also psychopathic narcissists without remorse.

Are You Dating a Narcissist?

At first, you may not see that your new love interest has a psychological problem. However, warning signs will soon be evident if he is a narcissist. Here are ten red flags of narcissistic behavior that you shouldn’t ignore.

1. He isn’t Honest About His Marital Status

A narcissist can’t admit a failed relationship, even if he is still in it. Before you get attached to someone, be sure that he is free and not committed to somebody else. Take warning if your new love interest’s social media relationship profile says that he is separated or “it’s complicated.”

Do you want to be the third person in a cheater’s marriage? What does it say about a man or woman who is dating while still married? Regardless of the excuses, this person is lying and cheating. A selfish person doesn’t have the honesty and integrity to be part of a healthy relationship, so run while you can.

2. She Lies and Hides Things

A fulfilling relationship must be based on mutual honesty and trust. If it’s not there, then you’re headed for heartache. You can often tell if you are dating a narcissist if you are constantly catching her in lies. Often, narcissistic people will lie and stretch the truth about insignificant things, like where they bought their car or the fabulous job they had back when.

Sure, everybody has made mistakes and done things in the past that doesn’t make them proud. However, an honest person will have no qualms about being truthful about her past, where she grew up, former marriages, etc. Pay attention if she gets defensive and turns it around on you as if you have trust issues.

3. He Can’t Follow the Rules

There’s nothing wrong with individuality, but the typical narcissist expects the world to run by his rules. He has such a high opinion that he believes he is above the laws and rules of society. If you are dating a narcissist, you may see him ignoring simple laws and mandates “just because he can.”

A person who ignores laws is also apt to disregard morality. Perhaps he thinks it’s nothing to cheat on his taxes or his mate. He may think he is good enough to get away with it but refuse to let him get away with your heart.

4. His Romance is Not Genuine

When you first start dating a narcissist, one thing that gets your attention quickly is his air of romance. He knows precisely what you want to hear and uses a lot of smooth-talking to charm you. In the beginning, he may be generous with gifts and treat you like a queen.

The catch is that when he has captured your heart, the narcissist often loses interest. It’s a game of hunt and chase for him, not a seriously committed relationship. He will soon be on to the next conquest, so nip this selfish game in the bud.

These ten signs unmask an abusive narcissist.

5. She Can’t Respect Boundaries

The celebrated poet, Robert Frost, said it best when he wrote that “good fences make good neighbors.” Boundaries are essential for any relationship, be it family, friends, professional, or social. We all have lines drawn in the sand, and we show mutual respect by not crossing them.

You can often tell if you are dating a narcissist if she refuses to respect yours or anybody else’s boundaries. She may continuously push you beyond your set boundaries for her own selfish needs. If dating is this bad, what would marriage or living together be?

6. He Can’t Show Empathy

Do you have a narcissistic friend or relative who can’t put himself aside for one minute to be concerned about your problems? Therapists concur that people with NPD lack empathy skills. So if you are dating a narcissist, take a hint if he can’t relate to your feelings and tries to push your opinions aside.

This cynical personality not only can’t empathize with others, but he will often try to vie for attention by “one-upping” any of your situations or experiences. He is too busy promoting himself to think about your feelings.

7. She Uses People

How does your new love interest interact with her friends and coworkers? Is her friendship and professional relationships mutually respectful, or are they one-sided? A narcissist is always there when she needs you and is seldom seen rushing to help anyone else, not even her beau.

Does she only react with those who feed her ego and discard people who have no more energy or substance to offer her? Be assured that her intentions aren’t any different for you. Please don’t get caught in her web of selfishness.

8. He Takes No Responsibility for Past Relationships

Nobody can defend a narcissist better than himself, especially in past relationships. In many broken connections, the fault can usually be shared. Of course, this isn’t the case for those who’ve endured an abusive or cheating partner.

When you are dating a narcissist, he may fake honesty about his past relationships. If you believe his narratives, he was always the victim, and past partners were “unstable,” and single-handedly destroyed him. Be even more suspicious of him if he doesn’t want you to talk to his ex-partners to find the truth.

9. He Just Wants a Reputation

Narcissistic people spend a lot of time and energy cultivating a false image. He brags up every aspect of his life to impress others and create a bigger-than-life reputation. He usually isn’t worried about character building, because he will often do what it takes to make himself look good, even if it’s immoral.

If you are dating a narcissist, his chronic boasting should be a red flag. He invents big job titles and unbelievable salaries for every job he’s worked. You name it, he’s done it or owned it. Remember the saying that things that are too good to be true usually aren’t?

10. Your Relationship Is Chronically Unstable

Like everything in life, even the best relationships have their ups and downs. However, you shouldn’t feel like you are always on an emotional roller coaster. When you are dating a narcissist, everything will seem unbalanced.

At first, he may pretend to be all about you, then suddenly he is a ghost for days at a time. It’s easy for him to turn his feelings on and off toward you. Please resist the urge to stay in the relationship to change him, because the chances are that he or she will remain a selfish narcissist.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing a Narcissist

Unfortunately, the narcissistic person will never find someone who he loves more than himself. Consider these tell-tale signs that you are dating someone with unhealthy views of themselves, and walk away with your dignity. You deserve to have someone who will love and care for you as an equal. Meanwhile, the narcissist will be left with the only person in his life who loves him: himself.

Lifestyle

15 Red Flags Someone is an Emotional Vampire

15 Red Flags Someone is an Emotional Vampire


If you’ve never dealt with an emotional vampire, you’re lucky. However, it could be that you don’t realize that a friend or loved one is like that. These types of people will drain you of your energy and emotions, and, to make matters worse, they won’t care.

For your health, it’s important to recognize when someone is an emotional vampire. Once you identify this energy zapper, learn to deal with them pleasantly while keeping them at arm’s length.

Know the fifteen signs someone might be an emotional vampire

Here are 15 red flags for which you should look.

1. They always turn the topic to themselves.

For some reason, no matter what you’re talking about, they’ll find a way to make it about themselves. Are you talking about your college grades? Somehow the conversation will turn in to how your scores affect them. What about a great date that you had yesterday? Yep, all about them.

If you’re feeling left out of a conversation with someone all the time, this is a significant, glaring indicator. This self-centered friend is incapable or possibly unwilling to allow someone else to be the center of attention in a conversation.

2. They always seek validation.

They probably have low self-esteem, so they require constant validation. The crazy thing is that you probably know this on some subconscious level, and you feel bad that they have low self-esteem. Therefore, you try to be friendly and supportive because you care.

They feed on this caring emotion from you. Indeed, they may even always fish for compliments. No matter how tiring this gets for you, they’ll continue to do it until you put a stop to it.

3. Emotional vampires thrive on and seek out drama.

Problems, negativity, and drama have a lot of energy. Energy suckers are naturally drawn to drama because it feeds their personality. Sometimes they may even go to extremes to instigate drama.

Continually seeking out drama is childish, but emotional vampires don’t see it that way. Instead, it’s a thrill to them. If you’re not careful, you can find yourself squarely in the middle of their drama simply because you’re associated with them.

4. They are emotionally unavailable.

If you think that your energy-sucking friend will be there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on, think again. They are selfish and emotionally unavailable. They will suck away all of everyone’s emotions, but they are unwilling to share when you need some.

Of course, they may be so wrapped up in themselves that if you tell them exactly how you’re feeling, they’ll dismiss it and change the subject to how they’re feeling. Even worse, they might make you feel bad that your bad feelings are making them feel bad. It’s a crazy cycle.

5. They always seem to have a negative vibe.

If you are a spiritual person, you may be able to detect people’s vibes when they come around. An emotional vampire will always project a negative vibe or aura. It can be so strong that it’s hard to ignore.

If you keep yourself around such a strong negative vibe, some of it may rub off onto you. Even the healthiest people might be slightly affected. The best thing you can do is stay away from people with negative vibes.

6. Every situation is always a crisis.

You may notice that your friend over-dramatizes every little thing. The most superficial problems that can easily be solved seems like the Titanic is about to sink again. What’s worse, it may seem that your friend is always having these minor-major issues.

People who suck up energy and emotions need to turn everything into a crisis so they can get more power and feelings out of you. It’s a vicious cycle in which you’ll continuously feed their needs until they wear down your last nerve.

7. They hold ridiculous grudges.

If your friend is holding grudges from elementary school, this is a big red flag. It seems that they can’t let anything go, ever. You can be sure that your friend will be holding grudges on their death bed.

This grudge-holding stems from their desire for drama all the time. If they forgive people, there will be no more drama. That means no more emotions for them to suck up, and they can’t have that.

8. They will complain about everything all the time.

It may seem like nothing is ever good enough for your friend. They have a problem with everyone and everything. They never have compliments or anything good to say.

Life can be very dull and harsh, being around a person who complains about everything. They’ll try to suck all of the joy out of whatever you’re doing so you’ll be as miserable as they are. If you’re a healthy person, you can fight against this, but it doesn’t make it any less irritating.

9. These friends seem to be unaware of others.

A person who is an emotional vampire doesn’t pay any attention to the fact that there are other human beings on the planet. They can happily go through life, never connecting with people, giving them credit for anything, or even recognizing that they have feelings and emotions.

Examples would be dismissing the excellent job that their waitress did or ignoring how their partner feels about them forgetting their anniversary. They can be cold, cruel, and seemingly heartless.

10. These folks never accept responsibility for their actions.

As much trouble as your friend can cause, they will never accept responsibility for their role in the drama. According to your friend, everything is everyone else’s fault. They play the victim role exceptionally well.

Even when it’s obvious that your friend is to blame, they will deflect that blame elsewhere. There is no reasoning with a person like this. You’ll only drive yourself crazy, trying to get them to see the light.

11. Emotional vampires continuously try to one-up you.

Unfortunately, they don’t just suck up negative energy. They suck up all energy. This means they want the power of being “the best” at all times. They won’t celebrate in your successes. Instead, they give you an empty compliment and immediately compare it to something they’ve done better than you. Here is an example.

“Oh, you finally lost that ten pounds? Great. Keep working at it, and you might be able to look as good as I would in that dress.”

It’s an empty compliment. This phrase is not a compliment (because they are incapable of giving real compliments). It’s just your friend trying to prove that they’re better than you.

12. They think that only their needs matter.

This makes sense because a person like this doesn’t pay any attention to people around them anyway. It’s almost like they live in a bubble, and they only pull you in long enough to drain your emotions. In their bubble, no one else’s needs matter.

Just keep in mind that if you keep this person as a friend, they’re not going to care about what’s happening in your life genuinely. They are more of a “surface” friend. They’re incapable of caring about your needs.

13. They are masters at guilt trips.

Emotional vampires seem to be skilled at making you feel guilty. They can even make you feel guilty about something that you had absolutely nothing to do with. Before you know it, you’ll be caving into what they want in an attempt to apologize for nothing.

Sometimes it can take a little time to recognize that they do this to you. However, when you realize it, get out of it. They’re not going to stop guilt-tripping you. It’s just who they are.

14. Emotional vampires are bullies.

People like your energy draining friend are unpleasant to be around. They have a nasty personality. They’re mean, selfish, insecure, and hostile. They are also bullies.

Bullying doesn’t work on everyone, but emotional vampires seem to have an innate quality that allows them to sense weaker people. They’ll bully these people into giving them what they want – energy and emotions.

15. Talks nonstop.

After reading the other fourteen red flags, it shouldn’t be surprising that all those energy suckers talk nonstop. If they don’t even acknowledge the people around them, it’s not going to occur to them that people have an opinion (or maybe they don’t care that people have an idea). To them, they are the only ones that exist or matter, so why would anyone else have anything to say?

They may rarely give you a chance to even reply to what they’re saying. Why? Because they don’t care what you think or how you feel.

Final Thoughts on Dealing with the Emotional Vampires in Your Life

Throughout this article, we’ve referred to the energy sucker in your life as your friend. However, let’s be honest. This person is not a friend. They’re a leech. They’re simply a parasite in your life feeding off of your energy and emotions. They’ll keep mooching off of you until there is nothing left, or until you put a stop to it.

Don’t allow emotional vampires to consume you. Use these 15 red flags to recognize them for who they are. Then cut them off and enjoy your life.

Lifestyle

10 Red Flags Someone is a Negative Thinker (and How to Help Turn It Around)

10 Red Flags Someone is a Negative Thinker (and How


We all know that one particular individual who is always negative and puts a bad vibe on everything. Sometimes, that person maybe you, even if you don’t realize it. There are many signs of a negative thinker that you may not always consider.

You may always think you are bringing positivity and optimism to a group. If you are exhibiting any of the red flags discussed below, however, you are doing the opposite of that. Negativity doesn’t always mean rudeness or sarcasm, and it can occur in many forms.

A negative thinker may not realize it, but negativity is bad for both their emotional well-being and their health. It can cause negative self-thoughts, judgmental thoughts about those around them, and destructive behaviors. Plus, it can cause high blood pressure, over-production of cortisol, and cause problems in their relationships.

Red Flags Someone is a Negative Thinker

Hard times will occur, and unexpected obstacles will interfere with your plans. You can’t let your negative thoughts overwhelm you in these instances, though, because the future depends on your positivity. Watch for these red flags in yourself and others that someone is a negative thinker.

1. This Person Often Says, “It’s too good to be true.”

Another phrase you may hear from them is something like, “It’ll never last”. They shut down all possibilities because they think good things will never truly come to them or those around them. This type of mindset forces them to miss out on joy and happiness.

2. Negative Thinkers Dwell on the Past

While the past is essential, it shouldn’t be all-consuming or even causing stress and anxiety. For negative-thinkers, however, they can’t get past what has happened before. It will keep them stuck in a cycle of repetitiveness and displeasure.

Instead, they should think about how their past situations shaped who they are today. They should think about what they learned from it how to avoid it in the future.

3. Negative Thinkers Are Always Judging Other People

If someone is always gossiping and making rude comments about others, they are likely a negative person. It may seem relatively harmless, but when it is a regular occurrence, it’s a sign of negativity toward themselves and others.

Their overly critical personalities are a huge red flag, and it’s something that doesn’t go away on its own. You may often wonder if they are saying mean things about you behind your back. The people in their lives will often wonder if they’ll ever be good enough, too.

4. They Seem Unable to Accept Compliments

Many people have this problem, and you’ll notice it quickly any time you hear them receive a compliment. They will downplay their accomplishments or tell you they don’t believe you when you offer nice words.

This mindset causes people to miss out on the happiness and excitement of achievement. Plus, it can ruin self-esteem because these folks are always thinking negatively about themselves.

5. They Have Trouble Keeping Friends or Relationships

People who aren’t negative don’t enjoy being around negative people. The constant negative remarks can take a toll on any relationship, causing the relationship to end. It’s all about how they present themselves and how they behaved toward the person.

6. People Who Think Negatively Focus on the Problem

Instead of thinking about a solution, a negative person will fixate on the problem. They won’t be able to see a way to fix the problem, and they’ll keep bringing up the negativity. Frequently, they’ll be able to point out where the failure happened, but they still won’t come up with a solution.

7. Negative Thinkers Aren’t Excited About the Future

If someone is overly anxious about the future, they may be a negative person. Likewise, if they won’t do anything to change their future, it’s also a sign. They don’t often explore new opportunities or work on developing skills.

When a challenge arises, they often give up because they can’t process that the future can be better. Since they have already decided that it won’t be better, they’ll do nothing to change it.

8. Negative Thinkers Are Overly Bossy

Negative people like to control everything, and that includes the actions of others. They will try to tell you what to do in your life. Then, they’ll have a negative opinion about every decision you make if it isn’t the decision they suggested.

Even big situations in other people’s lives will warrant a comment from a negative person. From which house they buy to the job they choose, the negative person will weigh in. This is another sign they haven’t gotten their life issues taken care of, and they have a negative personality.

9. Those Who Think Negatively Are Constantly Listening to Bad News

They will always know the latest bad news about those around them and about the world in general. Often, they feed off alarming or shocking news, as it gives them something to discuss. They will keep you well-informed on all the details, even if you aren’t interested.

Unfortunately, over-exposure to negative news can harm a person more than they think. It can cause post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or anxiety.

10. Negative Thinkers Are Always Complaining

You will notice a person who complains or whines about every aspect of your life. These are negative people, and they find any tiny detail to complain about.

They make it seem as if everything happens only to ruin their day. This is including the weather and other things that no one can control. This person will also often blame their “bad luck” on their boss or their upbringing. You may notice that they think they are never at fault. They will never admit that their lack of effort, energy, or creative energy is what is holding them back.

How to Start to Think Positive

1. Start and End Each Day with One Positive Thought

Starting the day with a positive thought can set the tone for the entire day. If you start with a positive idea, you will have a joyous day. On the other hand, if you begin negatively, you’ll have a gloomy day.

Tell yourself that it will be a good day and that you are going to be in a good mood. This will help you get in the right mindset for positivity.

2. Find a Positive in All Situations

Unexpected obstacles or situations are going to occur, no matter what. Remember to stay positive through these situations. You can do this by finding any positive, no matter how small it is.

The positive could be that you had time to listen to your favorite song on the radio. Another option is to find humor in a negative situation. No matter what it is, it will help keep your thoughts positive.

3. Learn from Your Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, so remind yourself of that next time it happens to you. Instead of thinking negatively about it, use it as a learning opportunity. Figure out an action plan for next time so that you don’t make the same mistake.

4. Eliminate Negative Self-Talk and Implement Positive Self-Talk

You might not notice when the negative self-talk first sets in. As soon as you see, however, you should make a conscious decision to change it. For every negative thought, think two positive ones about yourself.

5. Focus on the Present Moment

Don’t even focus on something that happened five or ten minutes ago. Only focus on this exact moment, and make a change so that it’s a positive one. Frequently, negative thoughts stem from things that have happened previously, so focusing on the present will eliminate that problem.

6. Surround Yourself with Positive People

Positivity is contagious, so when you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll become more positive. From them, you will hear positive comments and outlooks, lively stories, and positive affirmations. These words will positively affect you, and you’ll find yourself having similar thoughts.

Additionally, you need to get rid of other negative people in your life. Just like positivity, negativity is contagious, too. When negative people surround you, you won’t be able to become more positive.

8. Learn to Accept Compliments

It may feel off-putting at first, but force yourself to say “thank you” when someone compliments you. Don’t shrug it off or tell them you don’t believe them. Don’t convince yourself that their compliment had a negative meaning beneath it, either.

When you can do this, you’ll become more positive. Plus, it’ll help boost your self-esteem and confidence.

9. Stop Listening to or Reading Negative News

Hearing negative news each day can take a toll on your mental health. It can force you to think negatively and hinder your ability to be hopeful for the future. Limit your news intake if you feel like it might be affecting you.

Final Thoughts on Red Flags Someone is a Negative Thinker (and how to turn it around)

Everyone experiences negative thoughts sometimes, but if you are a negative thinker, you’ll always have them. Positive people will roll with whatever comes their way and look for the best solution to problems. Try to focus on doing that if you find that you are having negative thoughts.

If you let the negative thoughts take over your life, you will struggle to reach your goals. Use these ideas for how to turn the negativity around so that you can live a more fulfilling life. If you aren’t the negative thinker in your life, share these ideas with the person who is.

Business

The Rise And Rise Of Red Bull

The Rise And Rise Of Red Bull


Red Bull has the most elevated piece of the overall industry of any caffeinated savor the world, with 6.06 billion jars sold in a year (2016). It was originally a Thai energy drink.

7. Krating Daeng (Success secrets of red bull):

Red Bull has the most elevated piece of the overall industry of any caffeinated savor the world, with 6.06 billion jars sold in a year (2016). Rather than following a customary way to deal with mass promoting, Red Bull has produced mindfulness and made an enchanting ‘brand myth’ through restrictive outrageous game occasion arrangement, for example, Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series, Red Bull Air Race, Red Bull Crashed Ice and emerge tricks, for example, the Stratos space plunging project.

Note: People often wonder where Redbull and red bull racing comes from. Red bull originated in Austria and is a hugely successful company, however it has had its fair share of problems. Read about the red bull company and tell us your favorite secret from success secrets of red bull.

6. Red Bull Outburst (Success secrets of red bull):

Caffeinated drinks have been related to wellbeing dangers, for example, concealing the impacts of inebriation when overwhelmed by alcohol, and extreme or rehashed utilization can prompt heart and mental conditions. Regardless of whether you have never ridden the bull yourself, odds are you’ve cooperated with the brand somehow, on account of the absolute most ubiquitous advertising efforts ever. Since its initial days, Red Bull has situated itself into relatively every dynamic interest an individual can endeavor, influencing the drink itself to feel like a greater amount of an idea in retrospect. Red Bull’s first raid into donning occasions was the Dolomitenmann, the “world’s hardest group multi-stage sprint” The occasion joins running, paragliding, whitewater kayaking, and mountain biking, so it basically reproduces a Bond pursue scene through the beautiful Tyrol heaps of Austria.

Note: People often wonder where Redbull and red bull racing comes from. Red bull originated in Austria and is a hugely successful company, however it has had its fair share of problems. Read about the red bull company and tell us your favorite secret from success secrets of red bull.

5. Red Bull Stratos (Success secrets of red bull):

On October 14, 2012, the world was hypnotized as the Red Bull Stratos venture propelled a helium inflatable to close space, where Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner hopped from 38,969.4m/127,852.4ft to end up the, to begin with, thus far just, individual to break the speed of sound without the insurance or drive of a vehicle. The undertaking broke various records and contributed profitable information to established researchers.

Note: People often wonder where Redbull and red bull racing comes from. Red bull originated in Austria and is a hugely successful company, however it has had its fair share of problems. Read about the red bull company and tell us your favorite secret from success secrets of red bull.

4. No Competitors (Success secrets of red bull):

In the vicinity of 1984 and 1987, Red Bull adjusted the recipe for Krating Daeng to better match European tastes via carbonating the drink and making it less sweet. In 1987, the organization brought their adjusted caffeinated drink into Austria under the name Red Bull. It discovered enormous accomplishment there by advertising to youthful experts. The brand extended all through Europe amid the mid-1990s, detonating into the United States advertise amid 1997, snatching 75% of the market inside a year. The abundance of Red Bull’s originators developed with the organization’s prosperity, and by March 2012, both Chaleo and Mateschitz had evaluated total assets of over $5.3 billion each. Today, Red Bull GmbH works in more than 165 nations and utilizes more than 10,000 individuals.

Note: People often wonder where Redbull and red bull racing comes from. Red bull originated in Austria and is a hugely successful company, however it has had its fair share of problems. Read about the red bull company and tell us your favorite secret from success secrets of red bull.

3. Revenue of 8.6 Billion (Success secrets of red bull):

Red Bull made a whopping amount of money by earning 8.7 Billion Revenue in the year 2017. The effects of Red Bull Energy Drink, which includes taurine, glucuronolactone, and caffeine amongst the ingredients, were examined over 3 studies in a total of 36 volunteers. Assessments included psychomotor performance reaction time, concentration, memory, subjective alertness and physical endurance. When compared with control drinks, Red Bull Energy Drink significantly (P < 0.05) improved aerobic endurance maintaining 65–75% max. heart rate and anaerobic performance on cycle ergometers. Significant improvements in mental performance included choice reaction time, concentration and memory, which reflected increased subjective alertness. These consistent and wide-ranging improvements in performance are interpreted as reflecting the effects of the combination of ingredients.

2. The Wind Behind Red Bull’s Wings (Success secrets of red bull):

From an improbable organization between an Austrian specialist and a Thai head honcho, drinks firm Red Bull has conveyed surprising outcomes. Established only 25 years back, the organization saw worldwide incomes hit barely short of 5 billion euros ($6.5 billion) in 2012, offering in excess of 5.2 billion jars of drink in 165 nations. Simultaneously, its originator Dietrich Mateschitz ended up one of the wealthiest (total assets $7.1 billion) and best agents in Austria and his Thai fellow benefactor, the late Chaleo Yoovidhya, one of the wealthiest (total assets $5.4 billion) men in Thailand. Something beyond another worldwide brand, Red Bull’s runaway achievement additionally brought forth a totally new classification in the worldwide F&B showcase: the caffeinated drink. There are some outstanding techniques behind Red Bull’s prosperity incorporating its contribution with extraordinary games, for example, hang skimming and bungee hopping and its investment in the F1 circuit through its eponymous group. Its trademark “Red Bull gives you wings” has seen the firm join its image and significant budgetary assets to some high hazard experiences in the realm of aeronautics, including a year ago’s most noteworthy ever free-fall parachute bounce from 39 kilometers over the Earth. This courageous soul is an impression of Red Bull’s freewheeling corporate culture that has empowered the organization to manufacture a fortunate execution record in the course of the most recent 25 years.

Note: People often wonder where Redbull and red bull racing comes from. Red bull originated in Austria and is a hugely successful company, however it has had its fair share of problems. Read about the red bull company and tell us your favorite secret from success secrets of red bull.

1. Did it have cocaine? (Success secrets of red bull)

Mateschitz himself represents this culture. He shuns administration and broadly dismissed the proposals of a statistical surveying report which encouraged him to not endeavor to dispatch a caffeinated drink. He depended on his gut-feel rather and burned through one year changing the plan of the drink from the first Thai form and an additional two years adjusting its showcasing and correspondences methodology. The drink was propelled in Austria in 1987 and in numerous European nations previously the finish of the thousand years. In a 2001 meeting with the Financial Times, Mateschitz was cited as saying that “Marketing is a basic occupation requiring just a reasonable person and splendid eyes. Perkiness is the main essential. Everything else you can learn rapidly.” Mateschitz additionally sought after his energy for flying by keeping up a gathering of exemplary planes one having a place with Late Marshall Tito housed in a cutting-edge wing-formed overhang close Red Bull’s worldwide central station. Consistent with this enthusiasm, Red Bull representatives have been repaid for taking flying lessons. Mateschitz’ peculiarity is additionally apparent in various different regards.

Note: People often wonder where Redbull and red bull racing comes from. Red bull originated in Austria and is a hugely successful company, however it has had its fair share of problems. Read about the red bull company and tell us your favorite secret from success secrets of red bull.

How did red bull come to be? (Success secrets of red bull)

The organization HQ is in the modest town of Fuschl in the Austrian Alps; he expends a few Red Bull jars in a day; and, in spite of his acclaim and fortune, infrequently gives media interviews. Perhaps to safeguard its remarkable methodologies and oppose outside impacts to change, Mateschitz has financed the vast majority of Red Bull’s extension through inward benefits rather issuing offers to the general population or raising obligation. Truth be told, for the initial 15 years of its reality, little benefits were removed from the organization.

The freewheeling society enables Mateshitz and Red Bull to draw in peculiar individuals who have intriguing thoughts regarding taking the brand and the organization forward. Harry Drnec, a previous CEO of Red Bull’s U.K. activities was a military pilot amid the Vietnam War and was credited with the tremendous ascent of Mexico’s Sol brew in the strongly focused premium-lager portion in London. While driving Red Bull (U.K.), Drnec actualized inventive techniques particularly in dissemination concentrating endeavors on non-traditional carport forecourts, comfort stores, and dance club and developing deals from 6 million jars in 1996 to 300 million jars in 2006. In Mateschitz’s words, Red Bull has been “talking in a similar manner of speaking” since its dispatch in 1987. While filling in as the paste holding the worldwide association together, the freewheeling society has its drawbacks. Not at all like an all-around composed organization, neither its general system nor its advertising correspondences are firmly incorporated. Wasteful aspects may likewise sneak in from specific activities. At a cost of $220 million, Red Bull’s Major League Soccer (MLS) stadium in New Jersey was twice as costly as some other MLS stadium in the U.S. with investigators addressing whether the speculation could ever prove to be fruitful. Red Bull may likewise be less proficient than it could be on the grounds that there are a couple of endeavors to share best practices crosswise over various tasks or to streamline forms. These wasteful aspects have not affected Red Bull in the past due to its top-notch valuing and overwhelming piece of the pie in numerous business sectors.

Red bull’s status now (Success secrets of red bull):

Up to this point, energized drinks have confronted a couple of limitations, however, the Food and Drug Administration has as of late investigated the wellbeing of their fixings. Officials are thinking whether to force new directions or breaking points in promoting the beverages to kids and youngsters. In spite of its weaknesses, the freewheeling society has paid rich profits for Red Bull, particularly for its originators and representatives. It likewise demonstrates the effective effect made by a solid corporate culture as far as drawing in workers and executing inventive techniques.

Lifestyle

15 Red Flags Someone Feels Secret Animosity Towards You

15 Red Flags Someone Feels Secret Animosity Towards You


“I would rather drown myself in the waters of the Sabarmati than harbour hate or animosity in my heart.” – Mahatma Gandhi

The powerful quote above should warn us about the dangers of holding onto hate and resentment. Feeling jealous or disliking someone only brings you down, so why put yourself through that misery? Nothing good ever comes from bottling up feelings, especially hateful ones. Negative emotions lower one’s vitality, while positive feelings such as love and kindness raise it.

All of us should strive to feel universal compassion and understanding for humankind because, without a shred of generosity in our hearts, humanity could not exist. However, some people seem to thrive on bringing others down, unfortunately. Perhaps you encounter someone in your life who you suspect doesn’t like you for whatever reason. If they display any of the signs listed below, they may have hidden jealousy of you.

Here are 15 red flags that someone feels secret animosity towards you:

 

  1. They have closed off body language.

Experts say that people who secretly dislike you or aren’t interested may show the following red flags:

  • pointing their feet away from you
  • avoiding eye contact
  • crossing their arms (though that could be a self-comforting technique, according to ex-FBI agent Joe Navarro)
  • their pupils constrict
  • they shift their jaw a lot
  • they touch their neck, especially the base at the front of the neck, often
  • their reactions seem forced or disinterested
  1. Their smile or laugh seems forced around you.

Another sign of secret hatred or jealousy forced happy emotions could mean that they have something to hide. For example, if you’ve just gotten a raise at work and told someone close to you, they most likely would feel thrilled and excited for you. However, a person harboring resentment may feign smiles just to appease you, but you don’t feel authenticity from their reaction.

Of course, they might just suffer from depression, causing them to have to fake smiles around people. Most of the time, though, you can tell when someone doesn’t have good intentions with you.

  1. They give compliments that seem insincere.

A person who harbors secret jealousy may give you compliments, but they add snide remarks or brag about themselves afterward. Their compliments never seem to come from a place of genuine kindness or love, instead of having an air of passive aggression about them. If someone praises you regularly, they might have a secret plan and just want to get on your right side. Be wary of these types of people, as many narcissists have a charming, friendly nature in the beginning.

These 20 lifestyle changes can help you become a happier person.
  1. If someone feels animosity toward you, they’ll downplay your achievements.

Do you know someone who always undercuts your accomplishments? For example, maybe you lost a lot of weight recently and wanted to share your success with your friends. Instead of congratulating you, they might’ve said something like, “I lost X more pounds than that last year.” No matter what you achieve, they will always find a way to downplay it.

  1. They brag a lot around you.

Expanding on the point above, people who have secret animosity toward you will find a way to dominate any conversation. Every time you bring up something you feel proud of yourself for, they’ll switch it around and make it about them. When you’re around them, you may find that you can’t get a word in edgewise because they always talk about themselves and their achievements.

People who do this feel jealous of you and only brag because they have to defend their ego. Don’t give in to their mind games; simply remain humble and try to distance yourself, if possible.

  1. They seem happy when you fail.

Someone who harbors jealousy toward you will only seem happy when your life isn’t going well. If you notice that they seem joyful when things take a turn for the worse, you might find that you have an energy vampire on your hands. These types of people feed off people’s negative energy and have low vibration. Because they don’t like their own lives, they only seem to come around when your own life is in shambles.

  1. Your friends tell you they’ve been gossiping behind your back.

You hear rumors that they’ve been talking about you when you’re not around. Someone who holds feelings of animosity toward you will gossip about you any chance they get, and won’t care if it hurts your feelings. They would never have the courage to tell you directly to your face, though, because they need your friendship to feed their fragile, damaged ego.

  1. This person never seems truly happy for you.

If a person never seems happy for you, they probably dislike you or feel jealousy toward you. Sadly, even if you talk about it with them, they will likely not change because the issue lies within themselves. People who bring others down have a problem deep inside themselves that they won’t address, instead of causing havoc and destruction in anyone who crosses their path.

  1. They always want to get a rise out of you.

Does this person seem to get off on making you angry or irritated? Do they purposely bring up sore subjects just to get a reaction out of you? If you find that this person loves to stir the pot and often says things to upset you, they probably feel hidden jealousy toward you.

  1. They get passive-aggressive with you.

If someone doesn’t like you, they may harbor a lot of resentment because of pent up feelings. Therefore, if an issue comes up that you need to talk about with them, they may just shut down and not communicate with you. Passive aggressiveness is a very immature, manipulative tactic used by people to get their way when they feel threatened or undermined. Don’t give in to this type of behavior, especially if you’ve done nothing wrong.

  1. If someone feels jealous of you, they’ll talk about themselves a lot.

Because they secretly feel threatened by you, they want to take the attention off you and put themselves in the spotlight. If you’ve recently accomplished something huge in your life, such as landing a new job or starting a business, they will try to one-up you in any way they can. Nothing you do ever seems good enough in their eyes, but they have low self-esteem and take it out on you.

  1. You just feel in your gut that something is off.

If your gut tells you that you shouldn’t trust them or you feel on edge around them, you should listen to your instincts. You can tell within a few seconds of being around someone if you match with their energy because you’ll pick up on their vibes. Feeling anxious or depressed around someone for no reason may indicate that you have picked up on their evil intentions.

  1. If you try to talk to them about it, they flip out on you.

If you try to have a mature conversation with them about how they’ve been behaving, and they deny it or try to gaslight you, then you’ve probably hit a nerve with them. A person who feels guilty about their behaviors or actions will usually try to shift blame or react passive-aggressively. You might not be able to break through to them, but if they don’t come around, take it as a warning from the universe that you should move on from the relationship or friendship.

  1. They make a lot of “jokes” about you around friends or coworkers.

Do they make snarky remarks around your friends about you? We all know when someone is just playing with us or when they mean what they say. If it seems like they make distasteful or hurtful “jokes” about you every time you see them, they probably have intense animosity toward you. Sometimes people display it in covert ways, such as covering up their feelings with sarcastic jokes or rude comments.

  1. They never truly listen to you, and you don’t feel comfortable opening up to them.

Does it feel like they’re in a different world when you talk to them? Or, does it feel like pulling teeth when you want to talk about something important? If you feel like they’re not interested in conversations with you, they might have animosity toward you.

Final thoughts on signs someone feels animosity about you.

Sometimes, we don’t catch it when people dislike us because they won’t come right out and say it. You may even have a close friend in your life who you get weird vibes from, but you can’t put your finger on the problem. Unfortunately, some people choose to stay in our lives just to use us or make themselves feel better by putting us down.

If you notice any of the red flags above in people in your life, make sure to set clear boundaries with them. You should surround yourself with those who lift you and inspire you, not those with secret agendas who don’t care about your well-being.

Lifestyle

Therapists Reveal 14 Red Flags of a Doomed Relationship

Therapists Reveal 14 Red Flags of a Doomed Relationship


You’ve seen it happen–what looks like a relationship made in heaven suddenly fizzles. You wonder what happened. How can you prevent this from happening to your relationship?  So, what are 15 red flags of a doomed relationship?

Love is healthy for you. According to one study, love activates parts of your brain that reduce your stress levels and gives you a sense of pleasure. That’s powerful. But sometimes a relationship goes wrong, turning into a toxic relationship. This process doesn’t happen overnight. Like a balloon slowly losing air, the bond deflates over time.

Here are 14 red flags that reveal a doomed relationship

Here is advice on how to cope with your toxic love life.

1 – Loss of friendship

Many people dismiss the idea that you can be good friends with your partner. They assume that means there’s no romance. But you can maintain your passion and be good friends with your partner. In fact, these kinds of relationships last longer because of their deep friendship. Friendship involves respect, care, and loyalty. These qualities are beneficial to romantic relationships as much as they are to friendship. Often, the longer couple is together, the more their friendship and romance grows.

2 – No honest communication

Studies show for a relationship to be long-lasting, there must be honest communication. Shallowness reveals a lack of genuine desire to grow the relationship. Talking honestly about your feelings makes you vulnerable.

If your partner isn’t willing to go deep, it could be a sign they’re not in the relationship for the long haul. There is the possibility your partner isn’t comfortable talking about their feelings. They may want to go deeper, but they don’t know where to start.

You can help by asking the right questions. Don’t try to ask all of them at once. Ask one or two questions at a time.  Don’t interrogate, have a desire to learn and listen. Here’s a list of 12 talking points to spur more in-depth conversations with your partner.

  • What part of our relationship makes you happy?
  • What’s your biggest fear related to our relationship?
  • What does love mean to you?
  • What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? Why?
  • What’s your favorite memory of our relationship so far? Why?
  • What’s one thing you want to ask me, but are scared to ask? (I promise not to get angry)
  • What do you think is a strength in our relationship? A weakness?
  • If you could change our relationship in one way, what would that be?
  • What bad thing has happened to you that has turned into a positive blessing?
  • If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it?
  • What’s the worst thing that’s happened to you? Why?
  • What’s the best thing that’s happened to you? Why?

3 – Secretive emails, phone calls or text

Keeping secrets is never a good sign in a relationship. Hidden conversations make you feel left out and not valued. It’s tempting to think your partner is cheating on you. Being secretive hurts your relationship’s trust and sense of protection.

If your partner is sending or receiving secretive texts or emails, ask them if you can talk to them. In an inquiring, calm way, ask them about the secrets. If they say it’s not a big deal or accuse you of stalking them, they’re not taking you or your relationship seriously. Secrets divide, they don’t promote faithfulness.

4 – Make decisions without talking to your input

If your partner makes a big decision without talking to you first, this is a sign of a doomed relationship. Decisions like large money purchases, or a vacation, buying or selling a house, or where to spend the holidays are significant.  Big decisions should be discussed between a couple because they affect both people.

Independent decisions like these are often a subtle way of saying they’re disinterested. If your partner is doing this, ask them why. Don’t accuse, but calmly tell them what they’re doing is hurtful and confusing. If they defend their right to be independent, you may want to rethink for you to reconsider the relationship.

5 – Loss of respect

Respect is a foundational part of any relationship. Respect means to admire or esteem. If you respect someone, you consider their feelings, rights, and wishes. Respecting one another builds trust and loyalty in your relationship. Toxic relationships lack respect. A partner who doesn’t respect you will try to control you. Don’t stay in a relationship that lacks mutual respect. It’s headed for disaster, and you will eventually get hurt.

6 – Sarcasm and toxic humor

Having a good sense of humor is vital in a relationship, but toxic jokes at the expense of your partner do harm. Sarcasm about your partner’s looks, abilities, or feelings causes deep wounds. This kind of humor is toxic to a relationship. It tears and destroys. Some people bring this type of sarcasm into a relationship because they’ve never seen a relationship built on mutual trust and love.

If you’re doing this, it may be helpful to seek professional counseling to help you heal from your hurts and learn how to relate in a healthy way to your partner. If your partner is using sarcasm or toxic humor against you, you may need to draw a line.

Never stay in a relationship where you are belittled, mocked, or made fun of. This feeling isn’t healthy. Your partner may apologize or say they were just kidding, but this is weak. Toxic humor is never a joke.

7 – Anger or manipulation

Another component of a toxic relationship is anger and manipulation. Anger tears down relationships. It’s a profoundly destructive way to relate, leaving fear and mistrust in its wake.

Manipulation is forcing someone to do what you want without them realizing your real motive. It’s deceitful and just a desire to have power. Manipulation is sometimes seen in the way a man relates to women. But women aren’t exempt.

They may manipulate with pouting or being overly sensual. It’s still an attempt to get what you want using different methods. It’s immature, and a shallow way to treat your partner. Both anger and manipulation are big red flags of a doomed, unhealthy relationship.

8 – Differing values

Many relationships start excellent, but as time goes on, differing values get in the way of the relationship. Things like family, religion, self-discipline, i.e., exercise and eating, self-improvement in career or education, money, and children are significant values you bring into your relationship.

When you get past the early stages, you may find yourself on different pages when it comes to family or going to church or career choices. Your values are part of who you are. If your partner doesn’t value what you value, it may work out.

Instead of being a couple, you will be two independent people living together. If you and our partner lack common values, this could be a red flag that your relationship won’t last.

9 – Not resolving conflicts

Minimizing conflicts, or pretending like everything is okay, isn’t healthy in a relationship. Over time, things will start to decay and erode your affection towards one another. All couples have conflicts. It’s a normal part of being in a relationship.

What’s important is how you solve your conflicts. Learn how to have a fair fight. Fair fights have boundaries. These boundaries include

  • Stay calm, don’t erupt into anger.
  • Don’t use the word “always.” No one “always” does anything…
  • Never threaten to leave or move out.
  • Don’t change topics, stick on a theme for each conflict even if you think another issue relates.
  • Never name call or belittle the other person.
  • Listen, don’t interrupt even if you don’t like what they’re saying.
  • Repeat back what you thought they said, “I think I heard you say…” If you aren’t getting it right, have them explain again what they meant.
  • Say you’re sorry, then ask them to forgive you.
  • Find common ground where you agree.
  • Pick what’s worth arguing about and what isn’t. Putting someone’s dirty dishes in the dishwasher may not be worth having a significant conflict over.

If everything you discuss turns into a big conflict, this is a red flag that you’re in a domed, toxic relationship.

10 – Not willing to sacrifice

Being in a relationship involves self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice isn’t a dirty word. It’s defined as giving up one’s self-interest to help others. It means you care for someone else besides your self. It could be demonstrated by you giving up your favorite television show to help your partner with paint the livingroom.

Or you coming up with some great craft ideas for your partner’s children who come over for the weekend. Giving up your time, energy, and love for your partner’s sake deepens your relationship. If your partner isn’t willing to give up things for your sake, it should be a big red flag.

11 – Being critical

Partners who are picky about your clothing, your hair, or your career, aren’t in love with you. They are in love with the image they want to project. True acceptance means loving a person for who they are, not what you want them to be. It doesn’t mean you can’t make suggestions or share ideas, but being critical about these things shows you aren’t accepted.

Critical people are never happy. They critique everything you do and say. This nit-picking is deadly to a relationship. Sadly, negative people rarely see their faults, because they’re too busy pointing out everyone else’s flaws. You can try to point this out, but you will probably get corrected for it. This habit is a red flag that you’re in, a toxic relationship that is sure to fail.

12 – Flirting with other people

Flirting with other people while in a relationship speaks volumes. It’s a red flag if your partner is doing this. Never think that’s just the way she is, or it’s not that bad. Public flirting with someone else is a slap in your face.

Never accept a weak excuse like, “I was just having fun” or “it’s nothing, why are you making such a big deal of it.” This excuse is deflecting and being dishonest. Your partner is showing you they aren’t as committed to the relationship as you are.

13 – Acting single

If your partner acts like they’re single, that’s a red flag. If they more I more than we, it reveals they aren’t into the relationship. Going places without inviting you along, or choosing to do things without telling you indicates your partner isn’t ready for a committed relationship but probably want to stay single.

14 – Loss of affection

If your relationship lacks affection, it’s headed in the wrong direction. Affections and intimacy is a big part of a genuine connection. Hugging, kissing, cuddling, or snuggling up with your partner is healthy and demonstrates love. If this is lacking, you are little more than roommates. Don’t fall into this trap; find ways to initiate affection with your partner every day.

If you are the only one initiating affection, it may be useful to find out why. Some people had poor examples of a healthy relationship growing up. They need to learn how to be affectionate. But if your partner is unwilling to be tender, this could be a bad sign of a doomed relationship.

Strong women will never accept these behaviors in a relationship.

Final thoughts on recognizing that you are in a doomed relationship

If you recognize these signs, all hope is not necessarily lost. If both you and your partner can commit to reconnecting and strengthening your bonds, you can try to heal. However, sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to recognize that it is time to cut the cord on a doomed relationship.

Lifestyle

15 Red Flags That Reveal a Toxic Relationship

15 Red Flags That Reveal a Toxic Relationship


Relationships are supposed to be a safe place, full of love and acceptance. However, that’s not always the case. Some people are in relationships full of toxicity and don’t even know it for fear of being alone or simply not knowing what real love feels like. If you are questioning your relationship, here are 15 red flags that reveal a toxic relationship.

15 Things That Reveal You Are in a Toxic Relationship

1. Constant Arguing

There is arguing in every relationship. That’s normal. However, when you start to notice you and your partner arguing almost every day, that’s the sign of a toxic relationship. You and your partner should be able to interact civilly in just about any situation.

It’s also a serious problem when you keep arguing about the same thing every single day. It shows that you have continued issues that aren’t getting better.

2. Walking on Eggshells

How do you feel when your spouse comes home every day? Are you excited, or does your stomach drop when you see their car pull into the driveway? This, in itself, can offer a lot of information about the relationship. When your partner is home, you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable around them for fear of triggering them in some way.

You should be able to say and do what you would normally do when they aren’t there. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them constantly, you need to find a healthier situation.

3. Diminishing Your Education/Career

You have put a lot of work into where you are at this point in your life. You should feel proud of your accomplishments. Your partner should also feel proud of your accomplishments and encourage them.

It’s a sign of a toxic relationship if your partner constantly puts down your progress in life or discourages continued progress, such as going back to school or fighting for that promotion. Some mates do this to remain in control, and you need to find someone who isn’t threatened by your success.

4. Intimacy Makes You Uncomfortable

It can be fun to experiment in the bedroom. However, your partner should never try to talk you into sex that you aren’t 100% on board with. If you feel odd or don’t like the idea at all, that should be the absolute end of the discussion. If they continue to try to get you to do things you don’t want to do, that’s sexual abuse.

Plain and simple. even if you find yourself giving in, you should not blame yourself.

However, you should avoid doing it again in the future. Make your desires clear. If your spouse isn’t okay with your comfort level, you may not be meant to be together. Also, you should feel okay ending any interaction you are not happy with, even if you agreed to it in advance.

5. Forgetting Important Dates/Events

When something is important to you, such as a birthday, anniversary, or graduation, it should also be important to your significant other. If your partner forgets these important dates regularly or makes absolutely no effort, it could be a sign that they just don’t care about you very much.

If they cared, they would put in the effort to make you happy. This can be especially frustrating when you go out of your way to be there for their big days.

6. A Toxic Relationship is Emotionally Draining

A relationship should feel light and easy. It shouldn’t be especially draining and difficult. If it feels like a struggle to keep the relationship going for more than just a couple of instances, that’s the sign of a toxic relationship.

The truth of the matter is certain things don’t fit together. No matter how hard you try, you will never get a square to go through a circle. If the relationship feels draining and difficult, it might be time to move on.

7. Constant Criticism

No one is perfect. However, your partner should emphasize the good parts of you instead of the bad. Your partner shouldn’t criticize you regularly about your appearance or anything else. They especially shouldn’t do this in public. It shows a lack of respect for you. It can also be embarrassing. However, this doesn’t mean they can’t ever offer constructive criticism when alone if you ask for it.

8. Isolation From Friends and Family

Friends and family are your support system. When you are in a toxic relationship, your friends and family may notice before you do. They may even voice these concerns. When this happens, your significant other may attempt to limit your communications with these people. You need someone who encourages your relationships and does what they can to get into their good graces.

9. Failure to Take Responsibility

Everyone needs to take responsibility for the things they do. This includes both you and your paramour. If your partner refuses to take responsibility for their part in any of your arguments, it can mean you are in a toxic relationship.

Your spouse should be okay with admitting when they do something wrong during an argument. However, saying sorry doesn’t always make the situation better if they take things too far.

10. Financial Abuse

Money can be quite problematic in a relationship. One person may make significantly more than the other person. When this happens, the person who makes less may even take advantage of the other person’s money. If you end up paying for everything, that can cause resentment. It’s even worse when the partner has their own money but simply expects you to pay for things.

It’s financial abuse, and it’s a drain on you. In the end, you’re likely better off without someone spending all of your money for you without contributing to the relationship yourself.

11. Codependency and the Toxic Relationship

Not all toxic relationships have a strong disconnect. In fact, some toxic couples are extremely close- too close. You and your significant other should have some independence in the relationship. You should be able to do things on your own and have your own life.

When you get too caught up in a relationship, you may lose yourself along the way. This can lead to you not doing things to improve your own life.

12. Lying

Couples should be honest with each other. This is the only way to promote trust. Trust is absolutely necessary for a relationship. If your partner lies constantly, how are you possibly going to be able to trust them? One innocuous lie doesn’t necessarily mean that you are in a toxic relationship.

However, serious lies and continuous lies are actually a form of emotional abuse. You do not need to have someone play with your head in that way regularly.

13. Addiction

When your significant other struggles with addiction, you may not want to give up on them right away. You may choose to fight with them and be a support system. However, you can only put up with so much. You shouldn’t be forced to deal with someone who steals, lies, and continues to relapse after countless broken promises.

At a certain point, the relationship isn’t fair to you. You need to let them continue their journey on their own. Hopefully, losing you will be a wake-up call for them and help encourage them to get sober.

Remember, they make a choice to use drugs or drink alcohol. So it is their addiction and not yours!

14. Controlling Behavior

Some relationships have someone who likes to “wear the pants.” Sometimes, the person who sees themselves as in charge may use this power to establish control over the other person. This control can come in the form of checking your phone constantly or telling you what to wear.

They may also demonstrate some serious jealousy issues that result in problems when you talk to coworkers or friends they may see as a threat. The controlling behavior is a sign of emotional abuse, and you should make some serious changes or leave the relationship immediately.

15. Physical Violence

Physical violence should never be tolerated, especially not in a relationship. A relationship should be a safe and comfortable place- not dangerous. If your partner hits you or threatens physical violence, you should leave immediately. Do not question it or try to work on things.

There are a number of resources for people who need to leave an abusive relationship, so don’t think you are stuck. There are ways to leave, no matter how bad the abuse may be. Stay strong and do it for yourself and any children.

Final Thoughts on Identifying You’re in a Toxic Relationship

If you experience a number of these red flags, you need to make a change right away. One of the first things to do is determine if the relationship is worth working on. Any physical violence should be a sign that you need to leave immediately. If you do think the relationship is salvageable, consider going to therapy. If things don’t change soon, it may be time to look for someone you are more compatible with.

Lifestyle

12 Red Flags Your Partner is Hiding Secrets from You

12 Red Flags Your Partner is Hiding Secrets from You


Have you ever had the feeling that your partner has a secret or is hiding something from you? It’s an ominous sense that hits you in the pit of your stomach. It’s important not to jump to conclusions as you may be overthinking the situation. However, you can’t ignore those red flags that keep popping up either.

It would be best if you confronted your partner. You need to tell them all the reasons you are suspicious and let them know you want the truth. What they say next means everything.

If your partner has a secret that they don’t want to tell you, then you may get some big production from them. He or she may become terribly angry and start throwing accusations your way. They will deflect from the matter as they can’t believe that you don’t trust them.

Signs Your Partner is Hiding Secrets

Always trust your gut instincts because something fishy is undoubtedly going on when they have such a strong reaction. Now that you’ve let the cat out of the bag, things may be different between you.

Experts say that there are some hallmark signs that someone is hiding something, even if they won’t spill the beans. Here is a list of 12 common behaviors from someone who has a secret but won’t tell.

1. They’re Being Overly Nice

Is your partner trying to wine and dine you all of a sudden? While it’s not a bad thing to get special attention, it can undoubtedly be questionable behavior if it’s out of character for them. He or she may be attempting to improve your relationship so that you won’t be suspicious of any wrongdoing.

Some may say it’s a sneaky way of covering their tracks. For instance, if you get a dozen roses or your favorite candies, then it may be a sinister approach for them to get you off their trail. Again, you must trust your gut on this one because their motives could be deceptive.

2. They’re Protective of Their Cell Phone

A cell phone is a private device. However, within the confines of a relationship, there must be specific allowances for openness. You should have your partner’s code to get into their phone, and there is nothing that they should have on their mobile that you cannot see.

If they take their phone everywhere, they go, even to the bathroom, then it may be suspicious. How were their previous cell phone habits? Is their newfound obsession with this electronic device new or have they always been this way?

Ask them why they are so guarded over their phone. If you find that they get defensive, then it’s probably because they have something to hide. However, if they release the lock and allow you to browse, then you probably have nothing to worry about.

3. They Continue to Over-React

The first conversation where you expressed your concerns might have made them nervous. They may feel that you are onto their hidden secrets. When someone acts out, it may be that they are doing this to get you off their case.

However, it may also be a subconscious action because all the fear and anxiety they are feeling is coming out. If you simply ask how their day was at work, they may blow up and act like you are invading their privacy.

4. They Turn the Tables and Accuse You Of Cheating

One of the hallmarks of a cheater is to project their guilt onto someone else. If you want to see their phone, then they will say that you are being sneaky or have an issue with trust. Their goal is to make you feel guilt.

The manipulator’s objective is to show you that you can trust them by playing the guilt card. Do you find that they are picking at you for things they wouldn’t usually care about? For instance, did he or she blow a gasket because you spend too much at the grocery store this week?

Have they tried to claim that you are lying to them? These are all red flags that they are picking a fight to turn the attention from their wrongdoing and blame you.

wandering eye
Know the 15 signs of a partner with a wandering eye.

5. They’re Emotionally Aloof

Does your partner seem to be distant, both physically and emotionally? Someone who was always the life of the party and now tends to be quiet could be because they have a guilty conscience. If they have a secret, they may not want to burden you with it.

They are stepping away because they’re hiding secrets. Though it may not destroy your relationship, it could be devastating in other ways. It would be best if you encouraged your partner to share it with you. Let them know that you can work on things no matter what’s happened.

6. Their Schedule is Erratic

Making a life change often requires a shift in activities and new habits. If your partner is experiencing life transitions, then their schedule could be altered. However, if they don’t have a new job or haven’t taken on any responsibilities that you know about, then a shift in their schedule could be suspect.

Keep in mind that hiding secrets don’t always mean they’re cheating. Their new habits may indicate that something is going on in their life that they are trying to keep from you.

7. You Catch Them in Lies

Trust is especially important in any relationship. However, when a person is trying to hide something, their stories might not add up. Something as small as asking them what they had for lunch may spark concern, and they feel the need to lie.

For instance, your partner may tell you that they are going out to lunch with friends during a text message, but in the evening, they may say that they ate at the desk. While it’s impossible to remember every detail of your day, they surely should remember where they ate. Any inconsistencies can point to hiding secrets.

8. Your Partner Cuts You Out of Their Life

If you’ve always done everything together but now you are suddenly uninvited to things, then it’s a red flag. While having a day to hang out with buddies is okay on occasion, if these outings increase or they don’t want you going anywhere with them, then it’s suspicious.

At the very least, this behavior needs to be investigated. You need further information as to why they are acting this way. Are they hiding secrets?

9. Their Body Language Seems Off

Your partner may not need to utter a word; some people can tell that things are amiss because of their body language. Do they avoid looking into your eyes? When someone is hiding secrets and telling lies, they may have a hard time making eye contact.

Has your romantic life suffered? Your partner may close off all affection because they don’t want to be close to you. They are detached and cold because they have created an uncomfortable situation and don’t know how to deal with it.

10. They Don’t Disclose Details

Is your partner vague about their whereabouts? When you ask questions about how their day or activity went, they always answer with “good” or “fine?” When a partner is involved in something they want to keep you out of, they won’t care to recall any stories of their day.

Forget trying to talk or make any plans for the future, either. They may avoid the topic at all costs if they’re cheating.

lost interest
These 12 actions show that a man has lost interest in his relationship.

11. They’re Continuously Staying Late at Work

Have you noticed that he or she is staying late at work all of a sudden? Do they have unforeseen meetings, overtime, and reasons why they can’t come home right after their shift? Partners who are hiding secrets almost always use work as an excuse to change their schedule.

12. They’ve Become Mean

Guilt is a powerful thing. If your partner knows that he or she is doing you wrong, then they may become mean. It’s not that they don’t love you any more or hate you, it’s that they are trying to avoid you at all costs.

They want to make excuses in their mind about why they need to end this relationship. It’s all about the justification for the manipulator. If you find that a person who was once sweet and loving has turned into a monster, then it’s a big red flag.

Final Thoughts on Detecting a Partner Who Is Hiding Secrets and Telling Lies

Over 40 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and over 73 percent of second marriages don’t make it either. The number one reason for marriages to end is infidelity. Even if you’re not married, a committed relationship still faces the same woes.

It’s also important to note that medical or mental health issues can cause changes in behavior. While your partner may not have done anything, they may be experiencing high levels of stress, and it’s altering their mood. Talk to them to see if they will open up about underlying causes for their actions.

No matter what you’re facing with your partner, it’s always important to trust what your gut is trying to tell you. You were given those instincts to help you through situations like this in life, so you need to use them.