Icetruck.tv News Blog

Red

Lifestyle

5 Red Flags That Reveal a Malignant Narcissist

5 Red Flags That Reveal a Malignant Narcissist


A malignant narcissist is a term applied to the most severe form of narcissistic personality disorder. This person feels an absolute need for full power. Couple that compulsive need to control others with a demand to be the center of attention. The combination makes this person intolerable to those around him or her.

The Meaning Behind the Term “Narcissism”

For those who are curious about where the term narcissism comes from, it is derived from Greek mythology. Furthermore, it is an interpolation of the name Narkissos, a young Greek man who was quite enamored with himself.

According to the mythical tale, Narkissos was the object of affection for Echo, a nymph who repeatedly professed her love. He rejected her adorations. Narkissos was so taken with himself that he would often spend hours and even days admiring his handsome reflection in various lakes. He believed that nobody, including Echo, was worthy of him.

While this is a fascinating story in Greek mythology, narcissism is, in fact, a real personality disorder. More than that, it is one that can quickly spiral out of control if an individual doesn’t seek treatment from a licensed mental health professional.

malignant narcissist

What Is a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Now that we have a little more background relative to where the term narcissism came from let’s take a moment to learn more about what it means to have a narcissistic personality disorder. First and foremost, narcissism is classified as a cluster B personality disorder.

Individuals with this disorder often seek admiration from others but will seldom offer it in return. Further, they tend to prioritize self-importance above the needs and wants of others, including their friends and family.

Another hallmark of those with this particular disorder is a lack of empathy. Something else to note when it comes to narcissistic personality disorders is that they are surprisingly common in America, according to a study published by the National Institutes of Health, a part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

The same study published by the National Institutes of Health also revealed that narcissistic personality disorders account for 20.2 percent of all mental health disorders in America.

The Primary Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

That said, it is abundantly clear that there is a significant difference between having high self-esteem and equally high self-confidence and having a narcissistic personality disorder. Along with a preoccupation with one’s self and a constant need for admiration and validation, individuals with a narcissistic personality disorder will also exhibit behaviors that are in line with the diagnostic criteria 301.81 per the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). These behaviors often include the following:

  • Jealousy
  • Arrogance
  • A tendency to exaggerate one’s talents, achievements, or both
  • Remaining in a perpetual state of fantasy in terms of achieving or maintaining success and power
  • A tendency to be interpersonally exploitative

Indeed, narcissism, as a mental health disorder, can quickly push away friends and family while turning an individual’s life on its head. Fortunately, it is possible to prevent these things from happening if one can recognize the signs of the disorder and also seek treatment from a licensed therapist.

malignant narcissistThe Different Types of Narcissistic Personality Disorders

Studies show that there are three subtypes when it comes to narcissistic personality disorders. And they include overt, covert, and exhibitionist. To better understand how each of these subtypes can impact an individual’s life, it helps to take a look at each of them individually:

The Overt or Malignant Narcissist

Also known as a “malignant narcissist,” this type of narcissistic personality disorder is one that often coexists with other psychological comorbidities, such as avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive disorders.

It is important to note that overt narcissistic personality disorders are also quite common among those who engage in substance abuse. While there are many others, constant feelings of anger and hostility are two of the more notable signs that an individual might be struggling with an overt narcissistic personality disorder.

You may also hear this described as “grandiose” narcissism.

Covert Narcissism

Individuals with an overt narcissistic personality disorder are also struggling with comorbidities that make matters worse, some of which include anxiety and depression. Further, many also have low self-esteem. And to combat these feelings of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, they are often very critical of others. In essence, they build themselves up while subtly berating and tearing others down.

Exhibitionist

An exhibitionist narcissistic personality disorder is generally not accompanied by psychological comorbidities.

However, there is one exception. In times of crisis, such as a failed relationship or losing a job, for example, individuals with an exhibitionist narcissistic personality disorder may display signs of entitlement issues. It is also not uncommon for them to become self-centered and less empathetic toward others as they go through these crises.

What Is the Worst Type of Narcissism?

Any variation of a narcissistic personality disorder can have a profound impact on one’s life. The NPD diagnosis also impacts to mention the lives of those around them. Some are worse than others. And this is especially the case when it comes to malignant narcissists in that they are very anti-social and extremely paranoid.

What’s more, they derive a perverse pleasure in acting out aggressively and engaging in acts of sadism, especially when it comes to sexual gratification, according to a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, one of the oldest monthly peer-reviewed medical journals. That said, most psychologists and psychiatrists will agree that malignant narcissists are not only a danger to themselves but also to other people in their life.

toxic people meme

How to Tell If You’re Dealing With a Malignant Narcissist

Having established that malignant narcissism is the worst out of the three narcissistic personality disorders, let’s take a moment to recap the five signs that could reveal someone you know might have such a disorder:

1. Extreme Anti-Social Behavior

Although anti-social behavior is often associated with shyness, malignant narcissists are known to take things a step further. Their behavior is a peculiar mix of anti-social and narcissistic traits.

They will often isolate themselves because they believe that others are not worthy of their time, friendship, or attention. And in those rare instances when they do allow others into their life, they will try to manipulate or exploit them for their own gratification, according to Dr. Daniel Fox, a licensed psychologist, international speaker, and author located in Texas.

2. Sadism

Arguably one of the most identifiable signs of a malignant narcissist is sadism. Most people will feel and display some degree of empathy when someone they know is depressed or going through a difficult time in their life. On the other hand, a malignant narcissist is the opposite in that they feel more powerful when others struggle. And this is especially true if they played a role in the person’s misery.

Undoubtedly, most people will perceive this type of behavior as mean-spirited. It is akin to kicking someone while they are down. However, it is part and parcel when it comes to malignant narcissism, according to a study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law, a quarterly academic journal providing information on topics related to psychiatry in America.

3. Malicious Plotting Against Friends and Family

Malicious plotting against an enemy is not unusual. Let’s be honest. A large percentage of people will look for ways to get back at someone who has wronged them.

However, those who engage in malignant narcissism will adopt the same mindset when it comes to friends and family. This behavior occurs even if the loved one didn’t do anything to justify such actions. Some of the more common forms of malicious plotting include lying and manipulation, which are both carried out with a high degree of sophistication.

4. Aggressive Behavior

Although aggressive behavior, for some people, commonly associates with anger. However, it is also another telling sign that you might be dealing with a malignant narcissist. Along with verbal altercations, individuals with this disorder will also engage in acts of physical violence without provocation. This behavior further explains why most psychiatrists consider this variation of narcissistic personality disorder the worst.

According to Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist and lecturer at the famed Harvard University in Cambridge, MA, the aggressive behavior of individuals with a malignant-based narcissistic personality disorder is often a blend of the following:

  • Sadism
  • Psychopathy
  • Machiavellianism

5. Psychopathy

In some cases, a malignant narcissist might behave in such a way that blends seemingly innocuous narcissism with dangerous psychopathy. And this unique combination removes the guilt that they would otherwise feel when they harm or manipulate others.

This same combination of psychopathy and narcissism can also give way to verbal and physical altercations. And when things get to this point, most individuals with this disorder tend to be very cold and calculating when it comes to their verbal or physical attacks.

malignant narcissistFinal Thoughts on Malignant Narcissists

In summary, there is a world of difference between having a healthy, positive self-image and having a narcissistic personality disorder. Of course, any variation of the mental disorder is troubling. However, it is reasonably safe to say that the malignant narcissist is the most dangerous type. After all, it is as close as someone can get to being a psychopath without officially being diagnosed as one.

Lifestyle

11 Red Flags That Reveal Your Partner is Gaslighting You   »

11 Red Flags That Reveal Your Partner is Gaslighting You  


You may not be familiar with the term gaslighting. First of all, it has nothing to do with gas or lighting. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where a spouse tries to convince their partner they’re mentally unstable. Sadly, this form of mental abuse is quite common in relationships. So, what are some red flags that reveal your partner is gaslighting you?

Where did the term “gaslighting” come from?

The term gaslighting originated in 1938 when a British play called “Gas Light” was released. Then later, in 1940, it was released in the United States as a movie called “Angel Street.”

In the play and movie, an abusive husband tries to convince his wife she’s gone mad. He assures her that she’s stealing and hearing noises, leading her to believe she’s lost her mind.

Eventually, she comes to her senses and escapes her husband’s control. In today’s culture, politicians are sometimes accused of gaslighting when they question an opponent’s intelligence or question their competence.

A similar term to gaslighting is a psychological term, Machiavellianism. This personality trait in a person causes them to manipulate others by using deceitfulness or exploitation to get what they want. They are motivated by a strong desire to pursue their interests at the expense of someone else.

Gaslighters use verbal, mental, or physical abuse to control their victims.

11 Red Flags That Reveal Gaslighting Behavior

gaslighting

1. Controlling behavior

Studies show that gaslighting in marriage indicates a sadomasochistic relationship where one partner imposes mental or physical harm on the other person. The person enjoys their manipulative behavior because they get pleasure from it. This kind of cruel behavior seeks to control you and break down your emotional defenses. The person tries to dominate you so you’ll accommodate their wants and needs. This desire may be a desire for sexual control and or emotional control over you.

2. A gaslighter denies the behavior

If your partner is gaslighting you, he or she will deny they are manipulative. They’ll tell you that you just misunderstand them. They may say to you that you’re the one with the problem. This charade is an effort to stop you from questioning them.

They’ll blame you, play the victim and question your love for them. You may even end up apologizing for doubting their sincerity. It’s twisted behavior and destroys your relationship. Gaslighting tears apart a relationship, stripping away the ability to discuss issues and even disagree with one another.

3. Gaslighting will wear you down with the repeated lies

The gaslighter is tenacious. They’ll repeat their lies to wear you down. They are motivated by their desires and perceived needs. They create false scenarios to confuse you. In their lying, gaslighters use various strategies to break you down. They will try to

  • Brainwash you
  • Discredit your opinions
  • Attack your questions
  • Belittle your thoughts
  • Break down confidence and power

A person who gaslights exaggerates to get their point across. This action puts the gaslighter in control so they can overrule anything you may question or any attempt you make to point out their lies.

They are always right, and you’re still wrong. They will lie about your ability, your looks, or your intelligence to others. If you question these comments, they may call you crazy or delusional. This game puts you on the defensive and helpless to have an opinion on the matter.

delusions
Here are red flags someone is delusional.

4. They trivialize their behavior

If you are gaslighted, your spouse or partner will tend to downplay your concerns or your questions about their behavior. They will turn things around, questioning you to minimize their behavior and cause you to doubt yourself. They may say something like the following phrases:

  • “You are just too sensitive!”
  • “Why are you so jealous?”
  • “What’s the big deal?”
  • “I was just joking.”
  • “Why are you so upset over something that’s no big deal?”
  • “What’s wrong with you?”

These comments seek to destroy your self-confidence and make you feel like you’re in the wrong. You may end up so manipulated that you apologize for simplifying questioning the gaslighter.

5. Emotional pleas

Researchers found that manipulative individuals beg and threaten in their healthy life. They use impassioned pleas to convince someone to believe them or do what they want. It’s emotional manipulation that wears down a person to feel sorry for them and to give in to their pleas.

You may not realize your spouse does this. Perhaps you think they’re an emotional person who feels things deeply. Indeed, you may be reluctant to see how manipulative they are and how they use emotional pleas to get what they want from you.

6.  A gaslighter will attack your friends and family

You know you’re being gaslighted if your partner tries to tear your way from your friends and family. The gaslighter wants you totally for themselves.

At first, you may feel flattered by their attention, thinking they’re devoted to you. But it’s not devotion that motives them. Gaslighters fear exposure and think that your friends will see through their manipulation. They’ll use emotional begging to convince you to spend time with them instead of your friends or family.

They may question your friend’s motives or attempt to convince you that you can’t trust others. Or they will lie about what your friends said or did. Their goal is to isolate you from the outside world so you will be under their control.

7. Gaslighting erodes your self-confidence

If you live in a gaslighting relationship, you will begin to feel less confident about your abilities or your intelligence. This form of mental abuse erodes your self-confidence. You’ll look to the gaslighter for approval. You may apologize to them all the time because you’re anxious about how they’ll react if you disagree.  Out of fear of incurring their wrath, you’ll agree with them all the time.  If you are being gaslighted, your partner may use verbal abuse to manipulate and erode your self-confidence. They may minimize your experiences or knowledge. They’ll tell you you you’re dumb, stupid or an idiot.

8. Verbal abuse confuses you and breaks you down

Researchers found that women who are exposed to verbal abuse are more likely to experience poor mental health and depression. Constantly being accused of being wrong or confused is a form of verbal abuse which can lead you to have a mental breakdown. Verbal abuse includes

  • Shouting or yelling at you
  • Intimidating you
  • Humiliating you in front of others
  • Treating you like child
  • Threatening you harm
  • Demeaning your intelligence or your looks

You may become so anxious or worried while you’re verbally abused, you develop psychological problems. Weirdly, the gaslighter’s prediction that you’re mentally falling apart is true due to their abusive behavior.

9. They will subject you to the hot and cold treatment

Your partner is gaslighting you if they display contradictory behavior-being abusive one minute, then being loving the next. It’s easy to fall prey to a gaslighter’s emotional ups and downs. They are unstable, but you may not see it at first because they’re such good actors. First, they seek to manipulate your emotions and demand your total loyalty.

They know how to play you, being sweet and loving to you. You begin to relax your guard. Just as quickly, they’ll attack you for something you did or said. It makes the relationship an emotional rollercoaster for you. All the while, the gaslighter blames you for his behavior.

narcissist
Here are tips for breaking up with a narcissist.

10. Aggressive behavior

Gaslighters don’t like to have their motives questioned or to hear that they are in the wrong. If you question them, they will push back hard. They may get hostile or even physical with you shoving or hitting you. This behavior is an intimidation tactic to make you stop questions.

The gaslighter needs to be right. He or she will use “put-downs” or character assassination to wear you down to the point that you give up trying to point out issues in their life.

11. Treacherous promises

If you’re in a relationship with a gaslighter, they may promise you they will change. They’ll promise to be less harsh or abusive if you just give the gaslighter some time. They may get emotional and cry or beg you. They’ll tell you how much they adore or love you.

This move may cause you to feel sorry for them and even feel grateful that they say they’ll change. It’s a twisted tactic for future control of you. These yo-yo promises wear away at you until you feel emotionally exhausted and powerless.

gaslightingFinal Thoughts on Red Flags That Warn You of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is more common than you think. We’re all susceptible to being gaslighted. It can be hard to detect abuse in someone we love and care for. It’s easy to tell yourself that destructive behavior isn’t real.

Because gaslighting is a slow process of gaining control, you may not see it until it’s too late. You may suffer from depression as a result of living with a partner who is gaslighting you. Therefore, take action if you think your partner is gaslighting you.

Remove yourself from the relationship immediately. Seek help from a therapist or counselor. Finally, find a support network or friends who can help you gain back your self-confidence and hope.