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Therapists Reveal 14 Red Flags of a Doomed Relationship

Therapists Reveal 14 Red Flags of a Doomed Relationship

You’ve seen it happen–what looks like a relationship made in heaven suddenly fizzles. You wonder what happened. How can you prevent this from happening to your relationship?  So, what are 15 red flags of a doomed relationship?

Love is healthy for you. According to one study, love activates parts of your brain that reduce your stress levels and gives you a sense of pleasure. That’s powerful. But sometimes a relationship goes wrong, turning into a toxic relationship. This process doesn’t happen overnight. Like a balloon slowly losing air, the bond deflates over time.

Here are 14 red flags that reveal a doomed relationship

Here is advice on how to cope with your toxic love life.

1 – Loss of friendship

Many people dismiss the idea that you can be good friends with your partner. They assume that means there’s no romance. But you can maintain your passion and be good friends with your partner. In fact, these kinds of relationships last longer because of their deep friendship. Friendship involves respect, care, and loyalty. These qualities are beneficial to romantic relationships as much as they are to friendship. Often, the longer couple is together, the more their friendship and romance grows.

2 – No honest communication

Studies show for a relationship to be long-lasting, there must be honest communication. Shallowness reveals a lack of genuine desire to grow the relationship. Talking honestly about your feelings makes you vulnerable.

If your partner isn’t willing to go deep, it could be a sign they’re not in the relationship for the long haul. There is the possibility your partner isn’t comfortable talking about their feelings. They may want to go deeper, but they don’t know where to start.

You can help by asking the right questions. Don’t try to ask all of them at once. Ask one or two questions at a time.  Don’t interrogate, have a desire to learn and listen. Here’s a list of 12 talking points to spur more in-depth conversations with your partner.

  • What part of our relationship makes you happy?
  • What’s your biggest fear related to our relationship?
  • What does love mean to you?
  • What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? Why?
  • What’s your favorite memory of our relationship so far? Why?
  • What’s one thing you want to ask me, but are scared to ask? (I promise not to get angry)
  • What do you think is a strength in our relationship? A weakness?
  • If you could change our relationship in one way, what would that be?
  • What bad thing has happened to you that has turned into a positive blessing?
  • If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it?
  • What’s the worst thing that’s happened to you? Why?
  • What’s the best thing that’s happened to you? Why?

3 – Secretive emails, phone calls or text

Keeping secrets is never a good sign in a relationship. Hidden conversations make you feel left out and not valued. It’s tempting to think your partner is cheating on you. Being secretive hurts your relationship’s trust and sense of protection.

If your partner is sending or receiving secretive texts or emails, ask them if you can talk to them. In an inquiring, calm way, ask them about the secrets. If they say it’s not a big deal or accuse you of stalking them, they’re not taking you or your relationship seriously. Secrets divide, they don’t promote faithfulness.

4 – Make decisions without talking to your input

If your partner makes a big decision without talking to you first, this is a sign of a doomed relationship. Decisions like large money purchases, or a vacation, buying or selling a house, or where to spend the holidays are significant.  Big decisions should be discussed between a couple because they affect both people.

Independent decisions like these are often a subtle way of saying they’re disinterested. If your partner is doing this, ask them why. Don’t accuse, but calmly tell them what they’re doing is hurtful and confusing. If they defend their right to be independent, you may want to rethink for you to reconsider the relationship.

5 – Loss of respect

Respect is a foundational part of any relationship. Respect means to admire or esteem. If you respect someone, you consider their feelings, rights, and wishes. Respecting one another builds trust and loyalty in your relationship. Toxic relationships lack respect. A partner who doesn’t respect you will try to control you. Don’t stay in a relationship that lacks mutual respect. It’s headed for disaster, and you will eventually get hurt.

6 – Sarcasm and toxic humor

Having a good sense of humor is vital in a relationship, but toxic jokes at the expense of your partner do harm. Sarcasm about your partner’s looks, abilities, or feelings causes deep wounds. This kind of humor is toxic to a relationship. It tears and destroys. Some people bring this type of sarcasm into a relationship because they’ve never seen a relationship built on mutual trust and love.

If you’re doing this, it may be helpful to seek professional counseling to help you heal from your hurts and learn how to relate in a healthy way to your partner. If your partner is using sarcasm or toxic humor against you, you may need to draw a line.

Never stay in a relationship where you are belittled, mocked, or made fun of. This feeling isn’t healthy. Your partner may apologize or say they were just kidding, but this is weak. Toxic humor is never a joke.

7 – Anger or manipulation

Another component of a toxic relationship is anger and manipulation. Anger tears down relationships. It’s a profoundly destructive way to relate, leaving fear and mistrust in its wake.

Manipulation is forcing someone to do what you want without them realizing your real motive. It’s deceitful and just a desire to have power. Manipulation is sometimes seen in the way a man relates to women. But women aren’t exempt.

They may manipulate with pouting or being overly sensual. It’s still an attempt to get what you want using different methods. It’s immature, and a shallow way to treat your partner. Both anger and manipulation are big red flags of a doomed, unhealthy relationship.

8 – Differing values

Many relationships start excellent, but as time goes on, differing values get in the way of the relationship. Things like family, religion, self-discipline, i.e., exercise and eating, self-improvement in career or education, money, and children are significant values you bring into your relationship.

When you get past the early stages, you may find yourself on different pages when it comes to family or going to church or career choices. Your values are part of who you are. If your partner doesn’t value what you value, it may work out.

Instead of being a couple, you will be two independent people living together. If you and our partner lack common values, this could be a red flag that your relationship won’t last.

9 – Not resolving conflicts

Minimizing conflicts, or pretending like everything is okay, isn’t healthy in a relationship. Over time, things will start to decay and erode your affection towards one another. All couples have conflicts. It’s a normal part of being in a relationship.

What’s important is how you solve your conflicts. Learn how to have a fair fight. Fair fights have boundaries. These boundaries include

  • Stay calm, don’t erupt into anger.
  • Don’t use the word “always.” No one “always” does anything…
  • Never threaten to leave or move out.
  • Don’t change topics, stick on a theme for each conflict even if you think another issue relates.
  • Never name call or belittle the other person.
  • Listen, don’t interrupt even if you don’t like what they’re saying.
  • Repeat back what you thought they said, “I think I heard you say…” If you aren’t getting it right, have them explain again what they meant.
  • Say you’re sorry, then ask them to forgive you.
  • Find common ground where you agree.
  • Pick what’s worth arguing about and what isn’t. Putting someone’s dirty dishes in the dishwasher may not be worth having a significant conflict over.

If everything you discuss turns into a big conflict, this is a red flag that you’re in a domed, toxic relationship.

10 – Not willing to sacrifice

Being in a relationship involves self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice isn’t a dirty word. It’s defined as giving up one’s self-interest to help others. It means you care for someone else besides your self. It could be demonstrated by you giving up your favorite television show to help your partner with paint the livingroom.

Or you coming up with some great craft ideas for your partner’s children who come over for the weekend. Giving up your time, energy, and love for your partner’s sake deepens your relationship. If your partner isn’t willing to give up things for your sake, it should be a big red flag.

11 – Being critical

Partners who are picky about your clothing, your hair, or your career, aren’t in love with you. They are in love with the image they want to project. True acceptance means loving a person for who they are, not what you want them to be. It doesn’t mean you can’t make suggestions or share ideas, but being critical about these things shows you aren’t accepted.

Critical people are never happy. They critique everything you do and say. This nit-picking is deadly to a relationship. Sadly, negative people rarely see their faults, because they’re too busy pointing out everyone else’s flaws. You can try to point this out, but you will probably get corrected for it. This habit is a red flag that you’re in, a toxic relationship that is sure to fail.

12 – Flirting with other people

Flirting with other people while in a relationship speaks volumes. It’s a red flag if your partner is doing this. Never think that’s just the way she is, or it’s not that bad. Public flirting with someone else is a slap in your face.

Never accept a weak excuse like, “I was just having fun” or “it’s nothing, why are you making such a big deal of it.” This excuse is deflecting and being dishonest. Your partner is showing you they aren’t as committed to the relationship as you are.

13 – Acting single

If your partner acts like they’re single, that’s a red flag. If they more I more than we, it reveals they aren’t into the relationship. Going places without inviting you along, or choosing to do things without telling you indicates your partner isn’t ready for a committed relationship but probably want to stay single.

14 – Loss of affection

If your relationship lacks affection, it’s headed in the wrong direction. Affections and intimacy is a big part of a genuine connection. Hugging, kissing, cuddling, or snuggling up with your partner is healthy and demonstrates love. If this is lacking, you are little more than roommates. Don’t fall into this trap; find ways to initiate affection with your partner every day.

If you are the only one initiating affection, it may be useful to find out why. Some people had poor examples of a healthy relationship growing up. They need to learn how to be affectionate. But if your partner is unwilling to be tender, this could be a bad sign of a doomed relationship.

Strong women will never accept these behaviors in a relationship.

Final thoughts on recognizing that you are in a doomed relationship

If you recognize these signs, all hope is not necessarily lost. If both you and your partner can commit to reconnecting and strengthening your bonds, you can try to heal. However, sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to recognize that it is time to cut the cord on a doomed relationship.


10 Reasons That Prove Living Single is Better Than a Bad Relationship

10 Reasons That Prove Living Single is Better Than a

Are you in a bad relationship? If so, you should consider the benefits of some alone time. Living single can be a freeing experience that allows you to discover things about yourself you never knew. In fact, there are a lot of reasons that being single is attractive. Plus, being in a bad relationship is pointless since it probably won’t survive in the long run. Why subject yourself to the emotional abuse of a failing relationship?

Being in a bad relationship is a very draining experience. It affects you mentally, physically, emotionally, and sometimes even financially. Your spirit, along with your bank account, can get drained down to zero. You may end up feeling worse than you have ever felt before.

Instead of being in a relationship that makes you unhappy and unhealthy, you should consider a happy, single life. Being single can prepare you for the next relationship, which, hopefully, will be a lot better than the bad one you’re in. Plus, there are plenty of other benefits you will gain from being single. Here are ten reasons that single life is better than staying in a bad relationship.

Ten Reasons Why Living Single Beats Staying With a Poor Partner

1. When you’re single, you’ll have peace of mind.

All the constant fighting in a bad relationship can take a severe toll on your psyche as well as your physical body. A bad relationship puts continuous stress on you. As plenty of doctors will tell you, stress can cause cognitive decline, a decrease in overall health, and can even lead to an early death.

You do not have to deal with your psyche being in turmoil. All it takes is a decision to be by yourself so that you can repair yourself. By choosing a single life, you will have peace of mind and spirit.

2. You can focus on your own goals.

Achieving goals is hard enough as it is. When you must split your focus between your goals and someone else’s goals, that will make your goals even harder to attain. After all, you are only one person.

It may sound selfish to be single so that you won’t have to worry about your significant others’ goals, but it’s not. Before you can help someone else, you must help yourself. Imagine how much stronger your relationship would be if you have already achieved some goals in life, and you and your significant other both have something to bring to the table.

3. No one can hurt you.

When you enter a relationship, you take a risk on love and, unfortunately, a chance of getting your heartbroken. A bad relationship often results in the latter. Being hurt can do severe emotional damage, and it can take a miracle to get over the pain.

Being single shields you from being hurt again. This situation does not mean you should be alone forever. However, you should fly solo for as long as it takes for you to heal. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself from the pain of a bad relationship and do not let anyone rush you to get over it. Take all the time you need.

4. You can work on loving yourself.

No one is perfect. In a bad relationship, you might feel pressured to be perfect to make things work. You may think that the relationship will improve if you are smarter, prettier, stronger, more prosperous, etc. Dealing with this sense of not being good enough can cause you not to love yourself. In fact, it might even make you hate yourself.

You cannot love someone else until you love yourself first. Being single allows you to rediscover self-love without the feelings of being inadequate for someone else. You will only have to make yourself happy, so it will be easier to love yourself on your own.

5. You’ll be free to go where you want whenever you want.

When you are in a bad relationship, you may feel like you need to leave. However, distance can make a bad relationship even worse. One of the best solutions to this is living single.

When you’re single, you can go wherever you want and stay as long as you want. You can move, travel, or stay right where you are. You do not have to check in with anyone, and you don’t have to consider the effects of your traveling on the relationship. Being free to move around on your terms is much better than being in a bad relationship.

6. You won’t have to compromise.

When you are in a great relationship with someone you love, compromising is tolerable and sometimes even welcomed. In a bad relationship, it can feel like you are giving up a little more of yourself each time. You can begin to feel like you’re never getting what you want or need, or that your feelings don’t matter.

When you are single, the world is your oyster. Your wants and needs come first, and you can fulfill your desires. You can be selfish without, well, being selfish. Living single means that you don’t have to compromise until you meet someone worth you putting them first.

7. You’ll have more space at home.

In the grand scheme of things, having less space in your home due to a relationship isn’t one of the biggest problems you can have. However, if the relationship is a bad one, what’s the point of being unhappy and cramped?

When you’re living single, you have your home all to yourself (unless you live with parents or a roommate). You don’t have to make room for decorations you hate or split up valuable closet space. If you live in a major city where apartments are the size of shoeboxes, this is even more of a reason to be single. Space is a commodity. Don’t sacrifice it for a bad relationship.

8. You’ll be free to meet the right person.

If you’re in a lousy relationship, chances are you’re probably with the wrong person. The right person wouldn’t make you feel so bad. Knowing this, why stay with the wrong person?

It can be hard to stay single and wait for the right person to come along. You’re human, and human nature makes you desire love, bonding, and attraction. However, you don’t want to settle for a bad relationship just to satisfy an instinct.

No matter how hard it is, choose to be single until the right person comes along to fulfill your innate need. After all, you don’t want Mr./Mrs. Right to pass you by because you are taken.

9. Your health will improve.

The first section touched on how a bad relationship can affect your health negatively due to stress. Stress, especially chronic stress, can have devastating health consequences. While stress can come from many areas of your life, a bad relationship is guaranteed to produce a large amount of it. Some health consequences of stress include:

  • Headaches
  • Anxiety
  • Fatigue
  • Depression
  • Diabetes
  • Heart problems

The list doesn’t end there. You can avoid having stress-related health problems from a bad relationship by not being in a bad relationship. Embrace living single. It might save your life.

10. Being in a bad relationship is just not worth it.

No one deserves to constantly be unhappy. This goes for you as well as your significant other. Being in a bad relationship can destroy your self-confidence, your self-worth, and your self-respect. When those things are destroyed, it can be hard to build them back up. It’s just not worth losing yourself to a bad relationship.

Being single allows you to live your life and build yourself up. While some people might look at single life as a lonely life, it’s better than dealing with the sacrifice you’ll make by trying to save a failing relationship. Plus, when you’re single, you can focus on all the right things so that when you get into your next relationship (a good relationship), you have everything you need to make it work.

Final Thoughts on Living Single vs. Staying in a Bad Relationship

There are a lot of bad relationships in the world. In many cases, it’s not because the people are bad, it’s because they aren’t right for each other. No matter what the reason is, it’s just not going to work without you sacrificing yourself.

If you’re in a bad relationship, you should give some serious thought to living single. A failing relationship can take a severe toll on you in the form of physical, mental, or emotional abuse. Choosing to be single over staying in a bad relationship is choosing to love yourself enough to put your well-being first. Doing this also helps the other person in the relationship because they are free to do the same.

Don’t look at living single as a bad thing. It’s an experience of self-discovery. You’ll learn so much about yourself while simultaneously strengthening yourself more than you ever thought possible. When the next relationship comes around, you’ll be ready. And hopefully, it will be a relationship that lasts a lifetime.


15 Red Flags That Reveal a Toxic Relationship

15 Red Flags That Reveal a Toxic Relationship

Relationships are supposed to be a safe place, full of love and acceptance. However, that’s not always the case. Some people are in relationships full of toxicity and don’t even know it for fear of being alone or simply not knowing what real love feels like. If you are questioning your relationship, here are 15 red flags that reveal a toxic relationship.

15 Things That Reveal You Are in a Toxic Relationship

1. Constant Arguing

There is arguing in every relationship. That’s normal. However, when you start to notice you and your partner arguing almost every day, that’s the sign of a toxic relationship. You and your partner should be able to interact civilly in just about any situation.

It’s also a serious problem when you keep arguing about the same thing every single day. It shows that you have continued issues that aren’t getting better.

2. Walking on Eggshells

How do you feel when your spouse comes home every day? Are you excited, or does your stomach drop when you see their car pull into the driveway? This, in itself, can offer a lot of information about the relationship. When your partner is home, you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable around them for fear of triggering them in some way.

You should be able to say and do what you would normally do when they aren’t there. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them constantly, you need to find a healthier situation.

3. Diminishing Your Education/Career

You have put a lot of work into where you are at this point in your life. You should feel proud of your accomplishments. Your partner should also feel proud of your accomplishments and encourage them.

It’s a sign of a toxic relationship if your partner constantly puts down your progress in life or discourages continued progress, such as going back to school or fighting for that promotion. Some mates do this to remain in control, and you need to find someone who isn’t threatened by your success.

4. Intimacy Makes You Uncomfortable

It can be fun to experiment in the bedroom. However, your partner should never try to talk you into sex that you aren’t 100% on board with. If you feel odd or don’t like the idea at all, that should be the absolute end of the discussion. If they continue to try to get you to do things you don’t want to do, that’s sexual abuse.

Plain and simple. even if you find yourself giving in, you should not blame yourself.

However, you should avoid doing it again in the future. Make your desires clear. If your spouse isn’t okay with your comfort level, you may not be meant to be together. Also, you should feel okay ending any interaction you are not happy with, even if you agreed to it in advance.

5. Forgetting Important Dates/Events

When something is important to you, such as a birthday, anniversary, or graduation, it should also be important to your significant other. If your partner forgets these important dates regularly or makes absolutely no effort, it could be a sign that they just don’t care about you very much.

If they cared, they would put in the effort to make you happy. This can be especially frustrating when you go out of your way to be there for their big days.

6. A Toxic Relationship is Emotionally Draining

A relationship should feel light and easy. It shouldn’t be especially draining and difficult. If it feels like a struggle to keep the relationship going for more than just a couple of instances, that’s the sign of a toxic relationship.

The truth of the matter is certain things don’t fit together. No matter how hard you try, you will never get a square to go through a circle. If the relationship feels draining and difficult, it might be time to move on.

7. Constant Criticism

No one is perfect. However, your partner should emphasize the good parts of you instead of the bad. Your partner shouldn’t criticize you regularly about your appearance or anything else. They especially shouldn’t do this in public. It shows a lack of respect for you. It can also be embarrassing. However, this doesn’t mean they can’t ever offer constructive criticism when alone if you ask for it.

8. Isolation From Friends and Family

Friends and family are your support system. When you are in a toxic relationship, your friends and family may notice before you do. They may even voice these concerns. When this happens, your significant other may attempt to limit your communications with these people. You need someone who encourages your relationships and does what they can to get into their good graces.

9. Failure to Take Responsibility

Everyone needs to take responsibility for the things they do. This includes both you and your paramour. If your partner refuses to take responsibility for their part in any of your arguments, it can mean you are in a toxic relationship.

Your spouse should be okay with admitting when they do something wrong during an argument. However, saying sorry doesn’t always make the situation better if they take things too far.

10. Financial Abuse

Money can be quite problematic in a relationship. One person may make significantly more than the other person. When this happens, the person who makes less may even take advantage of the other person’s money. If you end up paying for everything, that can cause resentment. It’s even worse when the partner has their own money but simply expects you to pay for things.

It’s financial abuse, and it’s a drain on you. In the end, you’re likely better off without someone spending all of your money for you without contributing to the relationship yourself.

11. Codependency and the Toxic Relationship

Not all toxic relationships have a strong disconnect. In fact, some toxic couples are extremely close- too close. You and your significant other should have some independence in the relationship. You should be able to do things on your own and have your own life.

When you get too caught up in a relationship, you may lose yourself along the way. This can lead to you not doing things to improve your own life.

12. Lying

Couples should be honest with each other. This is the only way to promote trust. Trust is absolutely necessary for a relationship. If your partner lies constantly, how are you possibly going to be able to trust them? One innocuous lie doesn’t necessarily mean that you are in a toxic relationship.

However, serious lies and continuous lies are actually a form of emotional abuse. You do not need to have someone play with your head in that way regularly.

13. Addiction

When your significant other struggles with addiction, you may not want to give up on them right away. You may choose to fight with them and be a support system. However, you can only put up with so much. You shouldn’t be forced to deal with someone who steals, lies, and continues to relapse after countless broken promises.

At a certain point, the relationship isn’t fair to you. You need to let them continue their journey on their own. Hopefully, losing you will be a wake-up call for them and help encourage them to get sober.

Remember, they make a choice to use drugs or drink alcohol. So it is their addiction and not yours!

14. Controlling Behavior

Some relationships have someone who likes to “wear the pants.” Sometimes, the person who sees themselves as in charge may use this power to establish control over the other person. This control can come in the form of checking your phone constantly or telling you what to wear.

They may also demonstrate some serious jealousy issues that result in problems when you talk to coworkers or friends they may see as a threat. The controlling behavior is a sign of emotional abuse, and you should make some serious changes or leave the relationship immediately.

15. Physical Violence

Physical violence should never be tolerated, especially not in a relationship. A relationship should be a safe and comfortable place- not dangerous. If your partner hits you or threatens physical violence, you should leave immediately. Do not question it or try to work on things.

There are a number of resources for people who need to leave an abusive relationship, so don’t think you are stuck. There are ways to leave, no matter how bad the abuse may be. Stay strong and do it for yourself and any children.

Final Thoughts on Identifying You’re in a Toxic Relationship

If you experience a number of these red flags, you need to make a change right away. One of the first things to do is determine if the relationship is worth working on. Any physical violence should be a sign that you need to leave immediately. If you do think the relationship is salvageable, consider going to therapy. If things don’t change soon, it may be time to look for someone you are more compatible with.


10 Ways to Move Out of the Friend Zone and Into A Relationship

10 Ways to Move Out of the Friend Zone and

When it comes to relationships, there’s nothing worse than being stuck in the “friend zone.” When you long to be a lover, being trapped in this minimal position can cause you a significant internal struggle. Some people are afraid to move forward, while others battle conflicting emotions for months or years of their life.

It’s humiliating to be only thought of as “just a friend” when you desire so much more. Many times, people are afraid to take the next step because they’re worried they will lose a good friend, embarrass themselves by admitting their feelings, or are worried that it won’t work out. It’s complicated to make the shift from friend to lover, but you must follow your heart.

You can live in silent torment if you’re pining away after someone who is a close friend, and you want more. The long nights of hopelessly wanting and waiting for more seems unbearable. If you’re going to put your feelings on the line and still maintain a sense of dignity, then here are some ways to move beyond the “just friends” state.

10 Ways to Make it Out of the Friend Zone

1. Assess the Risk

There are significant risks to jumping out of the friend zone and into a relationship. What would happen if it doesn’t work out? Once you’ve crossed that line, it isn’t easy to go back to just friends. Can you handle the possibilities of them out of your life?

Make a pro and con list of how to handle the situation. Do the benefits outweigh the risks? Have there been any behaviors or indications from him or her that they want more? Think carefully before you make your next move.

2. Develop a Game Plan

Once you’re ready to get out of the friend zone, it’s time to formulate a plan. Do you want a romantic dinner by candlelight to tell them how you feel, or do you want to take them to a park surrounded by nature? It’s essential that you set the stage for the big announcement.

Make a straightforward plan of what you will say, where it will be, and how it will occur. Maybe you could take them to your favorite coffee shop to talk over a cup of Joe.

3. Find the Right Time

Timing is everything in life. You don’t want to ask for a person to leap out of the friend zone the week of finals. If their mind is already overwhelmed by everything going on, then you may not get a receptive response.

Additionally, they may not feel that they’re in a place to develop romantic attachments with so much other stuff going on. It’s best to find the right moment. Then again, there may never be a perfect time, and you shouldn’t prolong the conversation as it only extends your torment.


4. Empower Yourself with Confidence

Whether you’re a man or woman doesn’t matter, it’s challenging to speak up when your dignity is on the line. You must use courage over your fear to tell the other person how you feel. If you don’t take the chance to speak up about your feelings, you may lose them to someone more open and honest.

You need to muster up all the internal strength you can find to tell this person the truth. Remember, you have nothing to lose by being honest, and you might gain everything. It’s always better to be upfront and truthful than to sit by and remain quiet and frustrated.

5. Don’t Go Straight to Sexual Places

If you’ve never had a talk with your friend about being more than just buddies, you shouldn’t go right to sex talk. Sure, they’re smoking hot and sexy, and you dream about making love to them, but if you come out of the gate with this statement, you may scare them away.

It would be best if you told them why you feel so strongly about them. List their qualities that you find attractive such as their eyes or hair. Also, you should bring out things about them that you appreciate beyond physical beauty.

If you want to give your conversation power and merit, then you need to speak your heart. There will be plenty of time for romance later. Right now, you need to get down to business with a serious conversation about your future.

6. Have a Conversation Face-to-Face

There are some conversations that you don’t have by text or by email, and flipping from a friend to a lover is one of them. It’s easy to send a text and wait anxiously for them to answer, but it’s best to look them eye-to-eye and tell them how you feel.

The direct contact and body language let them know that you are serious about them. The other party needs to see how much this means to you. They need to hear the conviction in your voice and see the warmth in your eyes.

It’s easier to say “no” when you’re sending a text, but it’s more challenging to deny true feelings in a person to person setting.

7. Don’t Beg

You want to keep your dignity intact in case this conversation doesn’t go the way you want. Try to come up with a statement that is a few sentences at most. You want to get to the point and stop chattering.

Don’t beg or plead or make bargains for someone to want you as more than friends. Either there’s more there, or there isn’t. You need to state your peace and then give him or her time to say how they feel. Always speak directly to them and be confident. Don’t hesitate or stutter over your words.

8. Be Honest with Yourself

Regardless of how things went down, you need to be honest with yourself. If they didn’t give you the answer you want, don’t hold on thinking they will change their mind. You are only wasting precious time that you could spend with someone else.

If they admitted that they have feelings for you and want to move out of the friend zone, you need to be honest enough to realize this changes everything. Once you cross from friends to lovers, there’s no going back to the way things were.

9. Make Them Miss You

If you didn’t get the answer you want, or they need time to think about things, then you need to give them some space. One of the best tricks in the book is to make them miss you so that they can see how much they genuinely care about you.

Being in the friend zone for an extended period can mess with your mind. While men and women can certainly be friends, there’s always that inner drive that makes one or both want more at some point and time. If they’re unsure how they feel about moving on from the friend zone, spending some time apart may be just what they need to sort out their feelings.

10. Admit Defeat and Move On, If Necessary

You don’t want to hang around any longer than you need too. If you’ve put your feelings on the table, then things will never go back to the way they used to be. If they don’t want any romantic attachments with you, then cut your losses.

There are very few times in these instances where you can salvage the friendship as most of the time. People will go their separate ways. When one wants to be romantically involved, and the other wants to be just friends, it doesn’t work. Admit the relationship was never meant to be, and simply move on.

Here are the signs that reveal your guy friend is interested in romance.

Final Thoughts on Admitting Defeat if You Do Not Break out of the Friend Zone

The old saying states that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have experienced love at all. Perhaps, Alfred Lord Tennyson was never stuck in the friend zone when he made such a statement. Still, with each time you give a piece of your heart away, it’s one part of it that you can’t get back.

There is no better feeling than love. It can get you through the darkest nights and give you a reason to get up in the morning. Sadly, there is also no more considerable pain than that of lost or unrequited love.

Think long and hard before you attempt to make the jump from friends to lovers. There is much at stake, and this move will change everything. Try some friendly flirting first and see how and if they respond to your subtle advances.

It’s always best to have some assurance before you take the plunge, but sometimes you must close your eyes and jump!


Therapist Explains How to Grieve the Loss of Your Love Relationship »

Therapist Explains How to Grieve the Loss of Your Love

Breaking up with your partner is like a death. It’s almost impossible to move on as if nothing happened. You both have been uprooted out of the ground into a new chapter in life. It’s okay to feel a range of emotions as you go through the process. We have a few ways to grieve the loss of your love relationship.

You’ll Face Five Stages as You Grieve Your Lost Relationship

The Kübler-Ross model of grief, also known as “The Five Stages of Grief,” explains what happens to our minds during the five stages after we lose something or someone special.

These stages are anger, bargaining, denial, sadness, and acceptance. You don’t necessarily grieve in any specific order. Sometimes you experience a stage multiple times.

During the grieving process, you may deny the person is gone from your life. You might get angry wondering what you could have done differently. Or, you might bargain with a higher power to help them come back to you.

Once you realize this is not going to work, you might feel depressed. You start listening to sad songs and watching old home videos.  Finally, you usually just accept this person is gone from your life. Sometimes we get stuck in denial thinking no one will ever love us again.

These stages have no time limit. It’s up to you when you decide to accept the loss and move on with your life. The truth is that you probably will fall in love again. You just have to give yourself time.


11 Ways to Take Care of Yourself as You Grieve for the Love You Lost

1 – Don’t Overthink

You may find yourself returning to the relationship a million times in your mind. You might start wondering where you went wrong. When we do this, we start to think we should go back. There’s a reason you broke up. No matter how many good times you had, there’s a reason underneath it all that the relationship is done. Don’t think about it all of the time. It’s time to hang out with yourself and move down the road. This doesn’t mean you won’t feel anything. You will still feel the stages of loss and you will grieve, but it means you don’t start playing the reel of your relationship in your head.

2 – Take Time To Detox

Many people deal with the loss of a love relationship by jumping into the next relationship. This doesn’t help you deal with any of the feelings left behind. The best thing you can do is have a period of detox. This means you take time to reflect and recharge your “love batteries.” You don’t need to date or pursue others at this time. You don’t need to go home with people from the bar. You need to focus on yourself. Before you get into a new relationship, you need to be 100% ready. You need to have a clear head on your shoulders. It’s only fair to you and the next person. If not, you will bring your drama into the next relationship.

3 – It Is Okay to Be Selfish While You Grieve

Love is often selfless. We put the other person above us. It’s time to be selfish once that relationship is over. Get out of bed when you feel like it. Go to the store without telling anyone. Stay out as late as you want. You get control of the remote watching whatever show you feel. You don’t have to answer to anyone. This is one of the only times in life when you get a pass to be selfish.

4 – Lean On Others

It’s okay to feel sadness with your support system. Lean on those you love to get out your feelings and emotions. When you want to cry and grieve, call up your best friend. Get those emotions out. You might need to yell at someone about the anger you’re feeling.

When someone you love passes away, people flock to you in support. They know this is the same during this love loss. They know sometimes it’s important to just be there sitting by you as you vent.

A hug is sometimes the best therapy available.

5 – Do Things You Enjoy

After a loss, it’s always best to find your smile again. Do things you love. Your self-esteem and heart might be bashed. When you do things that you love, you will feel happiness again. You might even forget for a few minutes that you’re going through a tough time.

You’ll actually learn to fall in love with yourself when you do things you love. You get to feel happy and enjoy a smile again. Whether it’s reading a book, going to the movies, playing a game of tennis or singing along with your guitar, do something you love.

6 – Let Go Of Emotional Baggage

Breakups leave big, ugly scars. If you don’t tend to these scars, they just look even scarier. It’s important to not dwell on the negative emotional baggage. You must learn to feel the pain then move on with a positive outlook. You’re able to decrease your amount of suffering by finding the lining in the clouds.

When you can tell yourself that “maybe it didn’t work out for a reason,” you’ll be able to move forward. If you get stuck in the negative emotional baggage of the relationship, it’ll be tough to move forward. You might face depression. You’re going to feel sadness and grieve some days. You’ll get triggered by a couple holding hands.

The important thing is to think of the positives in your break up. Remember why you broke up. By doing so, you’ll help your mind prepare for the next step in life.

7 – Forgive Yourself

Grieving means having to forgive yourself. It’s hard to let go. You blame yourself for every little thing. You might think everything was all your fault when it takes two to tango. Look back and think about both of your actions.

Think of the reasons why it didn’t work out. Even if you did things wrong, you have to let go of the blame. You cannot move on until you forgive yourself and grow from the experience as a whole.

thinking about the past

8 – Don’t Shut The Door On Love

Many times people that get out of a relationship will say they’ll “never” date again. They swear off all relationships. You should never speak in absolutes.

It didn’t work out with your ex for a reason. This doesn’t mean love isn’t going to work in the future. You’re burned right now. You have to get through this tough time and leave love open in the future. If you lose faith, you could be missing out.

There is a right time for your love.

One day you might find them when you least expect it. Until then, you focus on yourself. Don’t turn your head to anyone that tries to set you up. One day you’ll realize you’re ready again. In the beginning, it’s natural to think of speaking in absolutes.

9 – Don’t Seek Revenge

When you’re grieving, you often feel anger. You just want to hurt the other person because you’re hurting. Don’t seek revenge. Being angry and seeking revenge will not solve anything. It will make you seem petty and immature. Don’t trash talk them to your friends and family. Just accept they are gone, and accept that you don’t need to do anything about it. There’s a reason they aren’t with you anymore. You don’t need to go out and hurt them to dig the dagger even deeper into both of your hearts.

10 – Comfort Yourself

Remember there is no time limit to grieving. In the beginning, you might find it hard to even get out of bed. Take it a second at a time. Eat that pint of ice cream if you feel. Watch that sappy movie. Let your friends come over while you cry into their lap. You don’t have to be okay.

One day you’re going to be able to get out of bed. And, of course, someday you’re going to smile again. Your life was thrown into a blender. It’s okay to feel that pain. Always remember it’s okay to grieve.

11 – See The Differences

One of the best things that happen once you get through the grieving, you’ll realize there is a difference between a breakup and a death. When someone dies, it’s final. When you break up with someone, you get both get through it alive. You get to rise above it. One day you might see them walking along the street, and you won’t cry.

You’ll realize one day that you’re able to move forward. This breakup was the demise of that particular love relationship, but it’s not the final stage of love for you. One day soon, you’ll embrace living life to its fullest once again.

Final Thoughts on Taking Time to Grieve a Lost Love Relationship

It’s important to take time to grieve after any loss. A breakup is a loss that turns your world upside down. Once you face the truth of this loss and think through it, you’ll be able to move on. It might feel like you’re dying inside, but you’re about to live in the next chapter. Take time for yourself, then turn the page to the next chapter in life.


12 Life Lessons To Take Away From a Failed Relationship

12 Life Lessons To Take Away From a Failed Relationship

Not all relationships last forever, but you can learn many life lessons from a failed relationship. Sometimes, we have to meet certain people to learn important lessons; oftentimes, the wrong relationships lead us to the right person eventually.

While not everyone sticks around throughout all the chapters of our lives, we meet every person for a reason. If you’ve just gotten out of a relationship recently and feel heartbroken about it, we hope the following advice can help you move through it.

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

Here are 12 important life lessons to take away from a failed relationship:

failed relationship

  1. Overthinking causes more pain in the end.

At the end of the relationship, you may feel tempted to ruminate about every situation and conversation in your head so you can try to figure out where it went wrong. Of course, this is natural to some extent – when something goes awry in life, we want to dissect it so we can learn from it. However, too much analysis and overthinking just leads to misery, as you can never go back and change what happened.

While you should try to learn from what happened, you shouldn’t dwell on the past. Feel your emotions, talk about them with friends and family, and then allow yourself to move on. You only hurt yourself more when you overthink what went wrong in a failed relationship.

  1. Learn to become your own best friend.

Sometimes in relationships, we forget to love ourselves as much as we love our partner. Then, when they leave, all of our self-worth and happiness goes right out the window. If you don’t cultivate self-love, you will depend on someone outside yourself to give it to you. However, relying on someone else to accept you means that you will never feel totally fulfilled.

If you don’t feel complete within yourself, you’ll need constant validation from your partner or others. At the end of a relationship, ask yourself how much you depended on your partner for self-esteem and validation. If you feel empty without them, this makes the perfect opportunity to go deep within yourself and heal any wounds from the past. Once you become your own best friend, you’ll have even more love to give in your next relationship, and you’ll feel more whole as well.

  1. A failed relationship can teach us forgiveness.

If you felt undervalued or unloved in your last relationship, you might feel like getting revenge on your ex or blaming them for everything that went wrong. However, harboring resentment will only result in adding more stress to your life. Bottling up feelings can actually cause physical health problems as well. A 2013 study by the Harvard School of Public Health and the University of Rochester found that people who bottled up feelings had a 30% higher risk of all-cause mortality and a 70% higher chance of a cancer diagnosis.

So, instead of wishing harm on your ex or trying to blame them for the failed relationship, try to forgive them instead. You’ll find that you feel much lighter by accepting what happened and choosing to forgive their mistakes. Remember also to not beat yourself up for the relationship ending and extend that forgiveness to yourself as well.

  1. Healing takes time.

You’ll go through many different emotions after a breakup. People usually experience the following emotions, in any given order:

  • anger
  • shock
  • sadness/depression
  • emptiness
  • loneliness
  • relief
  • acceptance
  • excitement

You might go through several cycles of these emotions before things start to feel normal again. Just remember to give yourself time and space to heal from the relationship. Some days you’ll feel like you’ve moved on, and others will feel like you’ve had your heart ripped from your chest. Just know that healing doesn’t happen overnight and that your feelings are totally justified.

pop meme

  1. As much as it might tempt you, don’t run back to your ex.

After breaking things off with your significant other, you will probably get rid of all the reminders of your relationship, such as old photos or keepsakes. However, the memories will linger and will tempt you into getting back with them on those lonely nights. If the relationship didn’t work out, getting back with them will only create more of the same problems you encountered before. In other words, leave the past behind you, and remember that you ended things for a reason. Wish your ex well, and feel grateful for the time you got to spend with them.

  1. Cherish the good memories and what you learned from the relationship.

While you might dwell on the person’s negative attributes and why you feel so much better without them, this will only lead to feelings of resentment. Try to think of the good times you shared with your ex as well. Just because someone no longer holds a place in our lives doesn’t mean we have to paint them in a negative light.

If you focus on the bad qualities of someone, this only lowers your frequency. However, if you can speak about your ex in a mature, respectful way, this shows you’ve moved on and have an appreciation for what you learned from your time with them.

  1. Don’t try to numb the pain.

At the end of a failed relationship, many people drown themselves in drugs, alcohol, or other unhealthy habits to cope with the pain. Or, they might just keep extremely busy, so they have no time to deal with their feelings. These harmful coping mechanisms won’t work long-term, because you’ll have to face your feelings eventually. You need to give yourself time to go through the emotions instead of creating constant distractions for your feelings.

You can move on from a relationship while also allowing yourself space to process the breakup.

break up meme

  1. Use this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself.

In a relationship, many people feel that they lose themselves since they spend so much of their time with their partner. Hobbies and even personalities can blend together until you don’t know where you end, and your partner begins.

Healthy relationships have clear boundaries, but some relationship partners experience enmeshment and codependence. In that case, the healing process will take longer as you’ll feel you need to find yourself again.

No matter if the relationship ended on good or bad terms, you could use your newfound freedom to your advantage. Figure out what you enjoy and what makes you happy, without having to depend on anyone else for it. Create your own joy in life and keep busy with hobbies that interest you.

  1. Choosing a positive outlook will help you in your recovery.

In a study of emotional distress after a breakup, researchers studied participants’ positive or negative emotions about the failed relationship. They asked participants about how often they thought about the relationship, depression, loss of self-concept, rediscovery of self-concept, negative emotional adjustment, and positive emotional adjustments.

Researchers found that participants had greater recovery if they felt positive emotions about the breakup, for example, being happy, satisfied, or relieved. The optimistic thinkers didn’t dwell on the relationship as much, had less anxiety about being single, and had fewer regrets.

  1. Take the positives from the relationship and apply it to your next one.

What went right in your last relationship? What qualities did you learn about yourself that could help your future partner feel more loved, whole, or accepted? Make sure you take time to think about what qualities you brought into your previous relationship that made it more harmonious. Just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean you can’t learn from the positives.

  1. A failed relationship can teach you where you still need to work on yourself.

Expanding on the last point, think about what you could improve about yourself in the next relationship. Did you nag too much, set your expectations too high, or hold grudges? Give the silent treatment too often instead of communicating? Think about how you can work on yourself to become better, not only for yourself but for your future partner as well.

  1. Life doesn’t always turn out how we plan it.

Perhaps one of the most important lessons to take away from a failed relationship is that life just doesn’t always turn out how we expect it to. The solution? Don’t have any expectations at all. Just enjoy the ride and learn from every person you come in contact with; they all have something to teach you or learn from you.

failed relationshipFinal thoughts about lessons to learn from a failed relationship

Not everyone can stay in our lives forever, but not everyone is meant to. Some people come and go, but they all have lessons to teach us. You can learn important things from a failed relationship, such as forgiveness, how to become your own best friend, and how to just ride the waves of life.

If you’ve recently gotten out of a relationship, we hope these life lessons can help shift your perspective and remind you that just because a relationship failed does not mean you did. You learned and grew from it, and that’s a beautiful thing!


5 Things Men Need In A Relationship (That They’ll Never Admit)

5 Things Men Need In A Relationship (That They'll Never

In today’s culture, many carry the thought and assumption that the man in a relationship has to be this strong and perfect individual. Some believe that men must bear the world on their shoulders without showing any weakness. This macho mindset actually can do more harm than good, though.

That’s because gentlemen need certain things in a relationship. But, out of fear of being seen as less of a man or showing weakness, they will never admit they need.

Luckily, all you need is a little perception. And it helps to know a little about how men think to figure out all you need to know. Here are the five things that most men will never admit they need in a relationship. But let’s face it, they do.

5 Things Men Need (but won’t admit!)

men need 1 – Strength, Support, and Presence

It’s typical for many men not to want to talk about their problems. Instead, they just tough it out and figure things out on their own. Men enjoy solving problems and like to fix things. They are always looking for a way to improve the situation.

The frustrations that can come along with that problem-solving nature can be intense, though.  They grow increasingly worried when facing a problem that seems unfixable or a situation that they feel powerless against or entirely out of their control.

When men come up against difficult problems, your support and presence are vital. Just knowing they have someone in their corner or someone to talk to when they hit that wall and can’t break through means the world. Just don’t try to force your support on them.

Men can be very independent when it comes to problem-solving. Additionally, they can be almost stubborn. Men need your support and care, especially when under stress. When it comes to helping your partner with their problems, think of them like a cat. Let them come to you when they’re ready instead of smothering them in affection and support.

The important thing is to make yourself available and provide that rock for them to lean on when they need it. There are plenty of ways men can try to stay strong during even the toughest times. But sometimes what they need most can’t come from within but from others. Make sure you’re close by when they realize that and come to you for help with their troubles.

2 – Your Approval, and Ability to Let Go

While most men will probably never admit it, we think the world of you, and a big part of that is your opinion of us. Many men actually feel very insecure about their partner’s feelings about their actions and lifestyle, continually judging themselves and wondering if they’re measuring up. Many men need to see their partner happy, and it can be crushing, seeing their partner get upset, especially if it is over something they did.

When men do get it right, let them know it. Knowing we have your approval, even over the little things, can be a huge confidence boost. Let us know how proud you are. And tell your special someone that he made the right call. It can be effortless just to focus on the negatives. So definitely make an effort to point out both the good and the bad.

On the flip side, if we have screwed up, which we inevitably will, men want women who will treat us as equals. Nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes sometimes. So don’t hold it against your partner when they do eventually slip up and make a mistake. It’s ok to get mad for a little while, but try not to hold a grudge.

Forgive them, move on, and give them another chance. Nothing hurts more than feeling like you’ll never live down that one mistake, or that you potentially ruined a relationship, so don’t put your partner in that kind of position by holding a grudge over the little things.

relationship meme

3 – Your Touch

Intimacy is an essential part of any relationship. But we’re not just talking about fun in the bedroom. While most of the time, guys get a bad reputation for just wanting physical contact and sex in a relationship, regular physical contact is a natural part of any relationship. Physical contact goes a long way to making men feel loved and appreciated in a relationship. They enjoy the little things like being held, holding hands, or just being a shoulder to lean on.

Men need some form of contact, and a relationship without any kind of physical affection can quickly feel cold and emotionless. A little bit of warmth goes a long way, so don’t be afraid to show a little bit of love here and there.

On the other hand, you don’t need to hang all over them wherever they go. Smothering your partner with love might be overdoing it, and just like anyone, men need their own space sometimes too. The sweet spot between too little and too much affection varies from person to person, so keep an open mind and be receptive to their body language and signals to make sure you’re not overdoing it.

If you do get the sense that your partner needs some space or just needs some alone time, let them do their own thing and let them recharge. It’s normal for guys to want to develop some interests that you don’t both share. This helps them recharge their batteries.

Read their signals, and if they seem to be avoiding you, then you might be overdoing things. Give them their space and give them the chance to miss you and come back when they’re ready. Otherwise, you’ll likely just end up driving them away.

4 – Your Loyalty and Trust

Men need your trust. It’s that simple. It’s important to note that not every guy is looking to sleep around behind your back or try to cheat on you. There are some guys out there who are just after a good time, but if you’ve been burned in the past, don’t project that assumption on to every guy you meet.

Males want you to trust them. It can be emotionally frustrating having to prove their loyalty continually. When push comes to shove, many guys might not find it worth the effort if you’re always putting them through the wringer over every person they’ve spoken to or why they’re friendly with the waitress at the restaurant you’re at.

Unless they give you a good reason not to trust them, cut your partner some slack and at least go into things with an open mind, rather than trying to be always on alert trying to catch them doing something.

On the other hand, trust is a two-way street. While men want your trust, they also want your loyalty. They want you to be the only one for them. They want that commitment. Show that commitment by supporting them when nobody else will, staying by them through thick and thin, and making sure they’re the only romantic love in your life.

relationship5 – Your Friendship

Your friendship with your partner is the foundation for everything. You likely started as friends before dating, and if not, then a deep bond formed as you got to know each other better. Men want to know more about you and continue deepening that bod that started it all.

Don’t be afraid to talk about your day, share stories, discover new hobbies, and do activities together. At the end of the day, we just want to spend time with you and enjoy your company.

Take some time to plan outings or date nights, even long after you’ve settled down. It not only helps keep things fresh and exciting, but it also gives us the chance to keep learning more about you and keeps us comfortable and secure with who you are outside of the relationship. Yes, you may be someone’s partner, but you’re also still you, and there is plenty about that to fall in love with over and over again.

men needFinal Thoughts on the Things Men Secretly Want in a Relationship

Between the tough-guy culture that’s conditioned men to keep everything bottled up and carry the world on their shoulders, and many misconceptions about men being misogynists, pigs, and cheaters that kill many chances at relationships before they even get off the ground, it’s understandable that many times women don’t know what men really want.

Media and our culture have skewed the rational expectations of what men should be so much. So you’ll have to put all of those assumptions aside if you ever want a relationship to really work.

Many of these needs are also very subjective, and everyone is different. While most men appreciate and do well with many of the items on this list, finding that perfect balance really comes down to proper communication between you and your partner.

Some guys are more of the loner type who prefer their space. Others are like puppies who absolutely love attention. Some guys are more open with their emotions, while others can hardly put their feelings into words. Remember, everyone is different, so try not to judge or base expectations on your current relationship off of your last one either. That’s not fair to your party, nor yourself.


5 Ways to Detox an Unhealthy Relationship

5 Ways to Detox an Unhealthy Relationship

Finding yourself in an unhealthy relationship can be mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing. Many well-intentioned friends love to give advice. Some people might just tell you to pack your bags and just get out of there.

Still, others might suggest taking a break. They might advise you to relax for a bit so you can come back to things with a fresh mind and perspective.

Not all relationships are salvageable. But there are a few ways you can help clear your head, calm your emotions, and see things from a new perspective.

Know the Difference Between an Unhealthy Relationship and an Abusive One

It is critical to note there is a difference between a relationship that is just unhealthy and an abusive relationship.

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you should focus on getting yourself out of the situation by whatever means necessary.

Purely abusive relationships generally can not be fixed, as the other person feels a need to be in a place of power. Thus, working out those issues would mean giving up that power they have over you.

Escaping an abusive relationship can be extremely difficult due to the manipulative nature of those partners who enjoy physically, mentally, or emotionally abusing others. If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, seek help and guidance from close friends and family. If necessary, seek professional advice.

Leaving an abusive relationship is generally only the first step, though. Prepare yourself for a lengthy healing process. Don’t let your struggles define you and use them to push forward.

unhealthy relationship

5 Ways to Detox From an Unhealthy Relationship

Here are five ways you can detox from an unhealthy relationship. These tips are handy whether you’re trying to salvage it or if you need an emotionally reset after ending things.

1 – Take Some Time For Yourself

Despite the common assumption that every couple has to be joined at the hip, sometimes couples can get too much of each other. This fact is exceptionally accurate in unhealthy relationships where one person is very dependant on the other.

Worse yet, you see this in codependent relationships. That relationship is where neither feels they can stand on their own without the other. If you feel like you’re in a smothering relationship where you can’t seem to breathe, it might be time to take some time away for yourself.

Try meditating–science proves it has a very therapeutic effect. It helps to clear your head and rejuvenate your body as you escape from all the stresses that come with social interactions.

Here are some solo activities that can help refresh your spirit:

  • Traveling to a new, inspiring place
  • Watching your favorite movie to unwind
  • Treating yourself to a fresh, hot cup of tea while you think
  • Engaging in some pampering self-care
  • Calming exercise, such as yoga or stretches

Even in a healthy relationship, you should take some time for yourself can be a healthy way to recharge.

unhealthy relationship

2 – Focus on Your Physical Health

When in a toxic relationship, your mental and emotional health can take a massive turn for the worse. Here is what many people don’t realize.

There is a connection between mental health and physical health. So as one deteriorates, it’ll have a noticeable effect on the other. You might notice a lack of appetite, a more sedentary lifestyle, or even just overall lethargy as nothing seems appealing anymore as your mental health declines from the effects of the relationship.

Mental health and stress can also trigger certain habits, which can cause physical problems as well. Eventually, your overall health will be in decline, not just your mental or emotional health.

Therefore, prioritize your physical well being by getting out and exercising, eating right, meditating, and setting a stable sleep schedule.

3 – Celebrate The Small Victories

The negativity that comes from being in an unhealthy relationship can sometimes feel oppressive. It might get to the point of being all-consuming and seeping into every aspect of your life.

Keep yourself from falling into a hopeless depression. It’s important to celebrate your victories in life, no matter how small.

It’s essential to feel good about yourself and your achievements. So if you’re having trouble seeing the positives in life or your self-worth, start small. Whether it’s finishing that home improvement project, turning in that looming school assignment, or even something as mundane as just getting out of bed before noon, celebrate it. Then, reward yourself for your job well done.

This positive reinforcement can do a lot to help combat the depression and misery that often come along with toxic partnerships. And the pat on the back gives you the motivation to push towards meeting your relationship goals. You’ll find the strength to move forward with your day to day life despite how bad things get.

pop meme4 – Enjoy Some Good Company (and Maybe Some Food)

Sometimes simply being in good company can help lift your spirits and help you forget your troubles. And when you pair good friends with nourishing food, you’ll find an ideal escape.

Reach out to those close friends who you can just relax and be yourself around. Find people who you can talk to about your problems comfortably without having to worry about backlash. Surround yourself with those with whom you can just unwind with to forget all your unhealthy relationship.

A change of pace and getting away from your partner for a little while can provide some relief and help calm your emotions a bit. Call up some close friends and organize a get-together, either out in public doing something fun or at one of their homes for some nice peace.

Food also does wonders for your emotional state. There’s a reason people tend to eat more when upset. The taste of good food activates the brain’s pleasure sensors, releasing dopamine, and helping to improve your overall mood.

This is especially true of sweets and chocolate, as it is loaded with antioxidants and acts as a natural stress reliever. Getting out to eat will also help give you a nice change of scenery and a change of pace. You won’t have to cook or clean, and getting out of the house and away from your partner for a bit can be a great way to detox from the relationship, even if only for a few hours.

Take a night to forget about eating healthy, call up some of your closest friends, and splurge on a nice dinner out. Between the food and the company, you will feel much better by the time the night is over.

5 – Finally Have That Much Needed Talk

Sometimes you do need to just get everything out in the open. If nothing fixes an unhealthy relationship, it might be time to confront your partner.

Make sure you create an ‘honesty zone,’ setting up ground rules that you both be open and honest with each other. Then, begin talking it out.

Expect conflicting paradigms and mindsets, arguments, disagreements, and opposing ideas. But despite how heated things might get, don’t stop until you address your concerns. Assess what part you both play in the relationship and work out a solution to the problem together.

Sometimes the source of an unhealthy relationship is nothing more than a difference in expectations. Having an honest talk with your partner can help realign your expectations. And, you ensure neither of you is placing unfair or unreasonable expectations upon the other.

Discovering what each of you is looking to get out of a relationship and what role you both play can help solve a lot of core and fundamental problems with the connection. It can also give you a better idea of how compatible you are with your partner.

Not every relationship is salvageable. But after having a long and honest conversation with your partner, you’ll be able to see what things can be fixed, and what aspects will be permanent struggles in your relationship.

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Final Thoughts on Being in an Unhealthy Relationship

Many things can cause a toxic relationship. These things can range from a conflict of ideas about what a relationship should be and the roles each party should play, to simple misunderstanding the wants and needs of the other person.

Using these five tips, you can spend some time working on yourself, boost your confidence, and evaluate your relationship as a whole. Only you can figure out what is the best course of action for yourself. Taking some time away from the partnership can help you see things more objectively, and help you decide whether things are worth saving or merely letting go.

The right choice depends on the circumstances and your personal feelings on the matter, so take advice from others with a grain of salt, explore and examine your feelings and thoughts on the relationship, and decide for yourself what you want to do.


10 Things Couples Can Do To Change A Bad Relationship

10 Things Couples Can Do To Change A Bad Relationship

Many people wish for the fairy tale romance where they all live happily ever after. Isn’t that everyone’s romantic goal in life? When you find your soulmate, everything should be sunshine and roses for the rest of your life.

Unfortunately, couples living happily ever after only happens in fairy tales and movies. You’ve lived and experienced enough to realize that nobody has a perfect relationship or marriage, and anyone can have a toxic partner. It can happen to anyone.

Are you a person struggling in a bad relationship? Even though we all have disagreements and may want to call it quits, the good usually outweighs the bad. What if your relationship is more tumultuous than fulfilling?

How do you realize when your relationship is worth saving or not? Do you continue to your partner in your future, or do you feel doubtful or unnerved about it? Life is too short to stay miserable.

Is it possible to salvage a bad relationship? If you both have committed to making it work, there’s hope. Consider these ten tips for reconnecting with your lover.

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1. Go Back to the Start

When you are playing classic board games, getting sent back to start is a bad thing. In a faltering relationship, starting from the beginning, maybe your saving grace. It brings you back to the things that connected you in the first place.

Sit down together and have a heartfelt conversation about when you first met. You can write down some points to share with your partner. What attracted you to the other person and made you stand out from the rest?

In revisiting roads of the past, you may discover where you lost your love along the way. The things that formed a bond then have the power to recreate one now. Perhaps you can retrace your steps to reverse a bad relationship.

2. Offer and Receive Forgiveness

Since no human is perfect, an ideal relationship is impossible. No matter how much you are in love, you both are bound to make mistakes that hurt one other. However, when a toxic partner keeps making the same mistakes, it makes them a life habit.

There will always be thorns on the roses, and there will be many times when you are angry at each other. In a healthy relationship, couples can usually wait out the storms and find healing. Some grievous trespasses are not so easy to forgive.

One of the worst casualties in a committed relationship is cheating. It’s a betrayal that rends your heart and crushes your spirit. Frequent disagreements can also fester and create unreconcilable differences that can destroy a couple.

If you both have decided to move beyond whatever rift you had, it can only be done with forgiveness. It is a chance to offer the offending partner the opportunity to change. It’s in no way excusing or forgetting the offense.

Are you the offender? Ask for forgiveness, but you must also learn to forgive yourself. Now, you must also learn to trust again as a couple, and you should learn from previous mistakes.

3. Learn How to Connect Again to Improve a Bad Relationship

When you first fell in love, you probably wanted to spend every waking moment talking and being with your person. As time passes, some couples get used to the relationship and take the other for granted. You may have said a million times in the beginning that you can’t even breathe without talking with each other, but you soon realize you can.

In a healthy relationship, both people learn to connect on a physical and spiritual level. It goes beyond the superficiality of sex. When you are genuinely in love, you are still interested in what your partner says and feels.

When’s the last time you put down the phone or stepped away from the computer to have a meaningful conversation? Do you know what is happening in your partner’s life at this moment? A relationship can’t survive unless you stay in constant, loving communication.

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4. Go Out on a Date

Married couples often get in a rut and lose the excitement they once had. Loss of interest can quickly lead to a bad relationship. Even if you must move some things around on your schedules, making time for each other is crucial.

Set aside a day or an afternoon each week just to go on a date. Go for a walk in the park or make dinner reservations at your favorite restaurant. Bring back the fun and spontaneity in your love life.

5. Become a Toxicity Detective

While you review the internal reasons, your relationship may be going south. You should look for external ones that are toxic. Many marriages and love relationships have been ruined because of outside forces. It’s up to you to identify and eliminate them as much as possible.

Do you have friends or family members who offer nothing but negativity? Perhaps, these people are continually playing you against one another. Until these toxic folks follow reasonable boundaries, it’s best to stay clear of them.

6. Set the Game Rules

Nothing succeeds in this life without rules and boundaries, including relationships. If you and your lover haven’t set healthy boundaries, then the relationship can’t last. How can either of you be upset with a broken rule if the rule hasn’t been established?

For your relationship to flourish, set clear expectations and guidelines with each other. Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. When you outline and understand reasonable boundaries, you are more likely to enjoy mutual respect.

If your partner feels uncomfortable spending time with you, then they should voice their feelings. Are there issues that are non-negotiable in the relationship, such as substance abuse and how you define cheating? Remember not to expect anything from your lover that you are not willing to do yourself.

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7. Learn to Color Outside of the Lines

Just because you have established mutual boundaries doesn’t mean the relationship should be static and boring. Einstein once observed that the meaning of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. People in a relationship crave variety and the element of surprise.

Break out of your rut and do something different with your partner. Take a spontaneous trip or start a fascinating hobby together. Spice up your romance and do something totally out of character for you.

8. Leave the Past in the Past to Avoid a Bad Relationship

The demise of many relationships is an unrelenting memory. As you work on forgiveness and empathy together, discuss ways to acknowledge the past and leave it there. Otherwise, past transgressions will still hold a death grip on you.

When re-evaluating the rules and boundaries, set one for arguments. Make a pact not to use the past as ammunition. If past grievances are still lethal weapons, a bad relationship is inevitable. If you both can’t go beyond the hurt, your connection will suffer.

9. Be Each Other’s Best Friend Again

Everyone needs a circle of friends beyond their love relationship. It is normal to have a girl’s night out or a weekly guy’s poker game. Isolating yourself as a couple can be just as damaging to a relationship than neglecting each other.

Yes, you probably have people you consider your best friends. However, conflict can arise if your mate isn’t at the top of your list. Nobody wants to take second place to another, especially if it’s a person of the opposite sex.

You must include time to have fun with your besties, and don’t be afraid to spend some time alone because it’s healthy. Consequently, you must try to spend just as much quality time with your lover, who should be your best friend. Like a flower, a relationship will die without proper care and attention.

10. Seek Professional Help

Some bad relationships have so many variables, and it makes it difficult for couples to reconcile. If you and your mate have decided that your relationship is on the rocks and it’s worth saving, you may need professional counseling. Just admitting there is a problem is a giant step in the right direction.

It’s not a sign of weakness to seek couples counseling. Venting to a neutral party can be helpful, and the counselor may draw out solutions you never considered. For some couples, the relationship may be beyond repair.

If your partner is toxic or abusive in any way, then it’s time to leave. You deserve someone to love and care for you ultimately. An experienced couple’s counselor can help you sort through these issues in a safe, non-judgmental atmosphere. If your partner is unwilling to seek counseling as a last resort, you may need to re-evaluate your relationship.

bad relationshipFinal Thoughts: Know When to End a Bad Relationship

You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy, bad relationship just to feel needed and loved. Discuss these suggestions with your partner if you feel like you’re drifting apart. If you’ve done all you can do and things are still unbearable, then it’s probably a cue that it’s time to move on with your life.