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10 Signs The Person You’re With Is an Abusive Narcissist

10 Signs The Person You're With Is an Abusive Narcissist


If you find yourself wondering if your new love may be an abusive narcissist, these signs can help. Even if you don’t think they are an abusive narcissist, it’s a good idea to read these signs just to be sure. Either way, knowing these signs could help you or someone else you know.

Narcissists tend to have an unusually high sense of importance and a severe need for attention and admiration. They often have problems in their relationships, including family, friends, and romantic relationships.

Being in a relationship with an abusive narcissist isn’t just demeaning and emotionally draining for you. According to studies, it will cause brain damage over time. It can cause PTSD and C-PTSD, a shrinking hippocampus, and a swelling amygdala.

The hippocampus is essential in learning and development, and the amygdala plays a role in shame, guilt, envy, and fear. With a shrinking hippocampus and a swelling amygdala, you will experience those negative emotions instead of learning and developing. Because of this, it’s essential to recognize the signs of an abusive narcissist so you can end the relationship.

Ten Warning Signs That Your New Love is an Abusive Narcissist

Do you believe you might be falling in love with someone who is not quite as they seemed at first? Now is the time to become brutally honest with yourself–look for these ten red flags.

1. Narcissists Always Turn the Conversation to Themselves

If your new significant other continually talks about themselves, even when the conversation is unrelated, they may be a narcissist. They will love to talk about what they have accomplished so that they can feel better than those around them.

This need is because they want others to think that they are smarter than they are. Not only will they always talk about their accomplishments, but they’ll also exaggerate them. They want to feel superior, so they will make it sound like they have done much more than they have.

If your partner has ever made a conversation about you into one about them, it’s a sign. This habit will show if they don’t ask questions when you tell them something about yourself or your life.

2. They Don’t Show Any Empathy

They may not be able to understand how other people are feeling. If this is the case, it’s a sign of a narcissist. You’ll find yourself feeling invalidated and misunderstood. They won’t accept your feelings, as they can’t understand them or even acknowledge the way you’re feeling.

This could be evident if they don’t care if you’ve had a bad day or had a fight with a friend. If your parents or siblings hurt your feelings, they won’t pay attention. They may say they don’t want to hear about it, change the subject, or just ignore you as you’re speaking.

3. They Try to Gaslight You

As a form of manipulation, an abusive narcissist will try to gaslight you. Narcissists are good at this, so they may succeed if you don’t recognize what is happening. They’ll lie even when caught red-handed, accuse others, exaggerate the truth, and try to convince you along the way.

Even when they have been caught red-handed, they’ll still try to lie. They will stick to their story even when you have proof, and try to convince you that you are wrong.

Eventually, if they are successful at gaslighting you, you’ll start experiencing many negative feelings. You’ll feel anxious and less confident, and you’ll often wonder if you are too sensitive. Additionally, you may feel like the things you do are wrong, and you’ll blame yourself when things don’t work out.

When you’ve been gaslighted enough times, you’ll find yourself apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. You’ll always feel like something is wrong, even if there is no evidence that there is a problem. Plus, you’ll find yourself secretly questioning the behavior of your partner while making excuses for them at the same time.

4. They Were Charming at First but Quickly Changed

At the beginning of the relationship, they may have been super sweet and charming. Frequently, they communicated with you often and were quick to tell you that they love you. Then, suddenly, they became a person who criticized you and made you feel bad about yourself.

Always use caution when entering a relationship because if it moves too quickly, it’s a bad sign. They may not even know enough about you to love you but will say it anyway.

5. They Don’t Have Long-Term Friendships

Most people have a friend from their past that they keep in touch with and continue their relationship for years. They’ll keep in touch even when life has changed, someone has moved, or they don’t see each other often. Narcissists, however, don’t have this.

They also won’t have a best friend that they have known for a long time. You may notice that they talk about their friends behind their backs, too.

Another sign of this is that they’ll start wanting to hang out with you and your friends all the time. They’ll make you feel bad for wanting to hang out with them alone, and they will criticize your friends, too.

The lack of long-term friendships could stem from a narcissist trait of only treating people well when they want something. Once they have received what they wanted from the person, they begin to distance themselves. If they don’t distance themselves first, the other person will begin to notice the signs and end the friendship.

6. Abusive Narcissists Think They are Always Right and Never Apologize

It’s bad enough when someone thinks they are always right, but add in the inability to apologize, and you have a toxic mix. You won’t be able to effectively argue or debate with them, and they definitely won’t compromise.

They will not be able to let it go if you disagree with them, either. They will keep at it until they think you changed your mind. You may often feel like your partner doesn’t hear or understand you and that they won’t take responsibility.

Their inability to apologize will appear in everyday situations. If they show up for dinner late or don’t call when they said they would, they won’t apologize. They may cancel at the last minute for plans that are important to you, and they still won’t apologize.

7. They are Always Looking for Compliments

Narcissists tend to appear confident in themselves, but they aren’t. Most narcissists lack self-esteem and constantly look for compliments to make them feel better.

They often need compliments to make them feel powerful and to give them a sense of self-worth. It’s also worth noting that when someone criticizes them, narcissists don’t take it very well. Then, they’ll need ever more compliments to make them feel better about themselves.

8. Abusive Narcissists Often Criticize Others

To feel better about themselves, narcissists put other people down. They will go out of their way to make someone feel or look bad. In this way, their lack of self-confidence pushes them to make others feel as bad as they do.

9. They Pick on You and Criticize You Often

At the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, they will make it seem like teasing. They’ll put a cute twist on it and laugh about it, making it seem like a joke. Further into the relationship, however, that could suddenly change.

Narcissists tend to criticize and poke fun at things that those close to them do. It could be about what you wear, eat, drink, read, or your friends. They might have a problem with your favorite shows or your hobby.

What may begin as playful comments about these things will become much worse. They will start insulting you by calling you names or making mean comments. Jokes that aren’t funny will become normal, all because it makes them feel more powerful than you.

10. They Don’t Take a Break-Up Well

While it’s true that most people don’t take break-ups well, narcissists take it to the next level. They may have spent time being mean, ignoring, or gaslighting you, but then panic when you end the relationship. This is simply because they have to feel powerful, so they will do and say whatever it takes to keep you.

They may cry, tell you over and over again how much they love you, and say all the right things. Promises of change are sure to come, and they may seem sincere. Just remember how suddenly things changed before, however, because it will happen again.

If you don’t cave to their pleas and promises of change, they’ll try to hurt you even more. They will feel abandoned by you and feel rage or hatred. This is because they can’t take responsibility for the problems in your relationship, so they place the blame on you.

Don’t be surprised if you hear about them saying bad things about you to make themselves look good. They may likely begin dating someone new right away, too. Sometimes, they may even try to steal your friends to save their reputation.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing the Warning Signs That Your New Love Is An Abusive Narcissist

If your new love is an abusive narcissist, you have more to worry about than just having your feelings hurt. As explained before, continued narcissistic abuse can cause PTSD or brain damage.

Your mental health is more worthy of your energy than the feelings of your new partner, so put yourself first in this instance. Keep in mind that showing you are upset will only fuel the narcissist. They love to get an emotional rise out of the person they are abusing.

Instead, end the relationship firmly and don’t give in to their pleas and empty promises. Don’t stick around for an argument, because you can’t win against a narcissist. Instead, say what you must say to the abusive narcissist and remove yourself from the situation.

Lifestyle

Therapist Reveals 10 Signs Your Crush Wants to Be Just Friends »

Therapist Reveals 10 Signs Your Crush Wants to Be Just


Unrequited love is one of the worst things to experience. Most relationships start as a friendship, but overtime there develops something special that grows and blossoms. However, how do you know if your crush is really into you, or are they forever going to look at you as a friend?

Attraction can be physical, emotional, or spiritual. While you may fall in love with someone, it doesn’t mean that they feel the same way about you in return. You give the relationship time, and you wait, and nothing happens. How do you know if you should hang on hoping for more or if you should give up?

Signs You’re Stuck in the “Friend Zone”

One of the hardest things for people to do is to remove their ego from the situation. It’s hard to accept that there’s nothing more than friendship between you and the one you’re crushing on.

Sometimes, people flirt around and tease you, but it’s not meant to be a sign that they want more. Some people are flirtatious by nature. If you’re not sure how he or she feels about you, then here are some signs that show they don’t want to be anything more than friends.

1. They Only Hang Out with You in Groups

When two people are crushing on each other, then they want to spend time alone. However, if one person is stuck in the friend zone, then they will want to hang with the group. If you suggest that the two of you hang out, do they automatically say they will call your other friends?

If they know that you have feelings for them, they may use the group as a shelter to keep from leading you on. It’s also possible that they don’t want to be alone because they are afraid you will misread the situation, and they want to be just friends.

2. There’s No Flirting

When there is sexual tension between two people, flirting comes naturally. When a couple is developing feelings, they flirt. If there are no comments or gestures that let you know that they are into you, then it’s a sign that they want to be just friends.

Keep in mind that some people flirt because they are looking for a one-night stand rather than a meaningful relationship. You want to make sure you don’t fall into these traps because you will not get what you want from the situation.

3. They Don’t Text or Call You

Are you continually sitting by the phone and waiting for a text or call to come through? Are you stalking them on social media to see if they’re on? If someone is into you, then they will find every reason possible to call or text you. It’s all about making that contact.

It’s much easier for most people to text than it is to make a call. There’s no awkward dead space, and you can say how you truly feel. If the only conversations you have with this person are face-to-face, then it’s a sign that they are not interested in more.

Here is how to spot a serial cheater before you fall in love.

4. There’s Always Physical Distance Between You

When you’re hanging out with your friends, do they stand close to you or far away? If you like someone, then you want to be by their side. There’s something magical about brushing up against them or making eye contact in a crowded room. These first glances and moves are the things that ignite passion.

Notice their body language when you’re in a group. Do they seem to be into your conversation or treat you like the others? It’s all foretelling about how they feel about you and if they want to be just friends or something more.

5. They Don’t Make Any Moves Towards You

Does he stare just a little too long? Does she stand a little too close to you? Are people starting to talk about you as a couple? Maybe these people see something that you don’t understand, or you are stuck in a rut of wishful thinking.

You need to make sure that their advances are pure, and they’re not just trying to hook up and move on. The last thing you need is for someone to play with your affections and want nothing more than to be friends.

6. They Introduce You as Their Friend to Others

When they introduce you to others, how to they classify you? Are you just friends, or do they add other adjectives like my “special” pal? How they categorize you means everything.

His or her friends may automatically think that you’re a couple if you stand too close. So they may feel the need to clarify the situation to others. If they introduce you as a friend to their parents or other relatives, then it’s a sign that there’s nothing more than friendship between you.

7. They Don’t React to Your Hints

If they aren’t moving fast enough for you, then try dropping a few hints. How do they react to your advances? Do they put up a wall and ignore what you’ve said or done, or do they flirt back?

When you put yourself and your feelings out there for this person to see, and they don’t do anything with them, then you know you’re stuck in the friend zone. Don’t waste your time or energy on someone who doesn’t want to be with you or isn’t emotionally available.

Here are twenty signs that it’s time to call it quits on your relationship.

8. They Talk About Other Love Interests

It’s very hurtful when you have strong feelings for someone, and they talk to you about people they’re interested in dating. Now, keep in mind, they may be trying to see what your reaction is when they mention someone so that they can see if you have feelings for them.

The whole thing can be a test to see how you feel about them dating other people. On the other hand, most of the time, when someone is freely talking about other love interests with you, it’s because they don’t want to date you. They want to be just friends, and they are not trying to hurt you. They just want your opinion on their love life.

While it hurts as bad as getting your heart ripped out, you should give them an honest answer. It may not be in the cards for you two to be anything more than friends right now.

9. Your Gut Tells You It’s Not Going to Work Out

People were born with intuition, and women seem to have a distinct intuitive nature. You will often feel in your gut that it isn’t going to work out, yet you still pursue things. They say that the heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes you must get your heart and mind in alignment.

If this situation has been dragging on for a while and there’s still no advancements, then it’s probably best if you move on. In some rare instances, a person may be shy or have issues from trauma or abuse, but most of the time, it means that they have no romantic feelings.

10. They Tell You They Only Want to Be Friends

Some people can’t take a hint even if that person comes out and tells them that they want to be just friends. You may try to rationalize the conversation in your mind thinking they were just fishing to see how you felt. Don’t spill your heart to someone who isn’t interested in picking up the pieces once you’re done.

There are too many people out there that will love and appreciate all the great gifts that you have to offer them. You should know up front that they’re not interested in you so that you can move on promptly. Don’t waste too much of your precious time on someone who doesn’t want to be with you in the way that you want to be with them.

Final Thoughts on Knowing That You Will Always be Just Friends

Too many times, people get in a big hurry to find someone right now. What you should be focused on is finding the right one. When things come into perfect alignment, you won’t have to worry about whether they like you or not, as they will be open and honest.

You’re wasting your time on someone who may have given their heart to someone else and doesn’t have it to give to you. Sadly, they may be emotionally skewed from watching their parents and other relatives go through a divorce or other horrific breakups. They may be afraid to get into a committed relationship for fear of what could happen.

Then, there are those people who don’t want commitments. They like to have fun and hook up, but they don’t want any ties. Always trust your gut instincts. When it’s right, you won’t have all these questions about being just friends because you will know.

Lifestyle

15 Signs You Have a Not So Secret Admirer

15 Signs You Have a Not So Secret Admirer


Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if someone is a secret admirer or if they’re just an amicable person. It would be embarrassing to assume someone is interested in you only to find out that’s how they treat everybody. But usually, there are telltale signs that someone has a crush on you. Actually, they’re relatively predictable signs.

15 signs that you have a not so secret admirer

Unclear on whether someone is casually glancing or crushing on you? Here is how you can tell.

1. Constantly looking at you

The person who admires you will watch you every time you walk into the room. They may smile or try to catch your eye. They’ll attempt to say hello as you walk by their desk. During the day, when you look up from your computer, you’ll notice they’re staring at you.

They may smile again or nod their head. It’s all a ploy to get your attention. They want but don’t want you to realize they’re interested. It’s the beginning of a cat-and-mouse game that not so secret admirers like to play.

  1. Body language

Your secret admirer may act nervous around you, fumbling with papers, or repeatedly dropping their cellphone when they’re talking to you. Or they may show their nervousness around you by non-stop talking.  Secret admirers aren’t always good at hiding their adoration and love. To impress you, they may become a bundle of nerves resulting in clumsiness or over talkativeness.

It’s painful to watch a poor guy bumble his way through a conversation. Some guys try to impress by acting super cool and funny. This may be effective to get your interest and make you laugh. This makes a secret admirer happy because they feel you noticed them.

  1. Notes on your desk

You may find funny little notes on your desk with funny sayings or pictures referring to things you’ve said or things that happened in the office. Or you may find a little note stuck to your car windshield at the end of the workday. These notes may look like a second grader wrote them or typed officially. The notes may be funny or silly, cute, or sweet, anything to get your attention.

The notes probably won’t contain hearts unless your secret admirer is getting bold. But if it’s around Valentine’s Day, you may receive a card with hearts and references to being in love with you. It’s best to enjoy the attention, but not make any judgments yet until you’re sure you know who your admirer. You may not have to wait long; Valentine’s Day has a way of pushing a secret admirer into action.

  1. Little gifts

When you have a secret admirer, little gifts may suddenly show up on your desk or at your front door. You may receive your favorite hot drink, your favorite kombucha drink, or a bouquet. Your co-workers will be curious. They may smile and roll their eyes when you tell them you don’t know who sent these gifts. It’s best to downplay the whole thing and tell everyone your mom is going over the top for your birthday this year…months ahead of time.

  1. Include you in group activities

Your secret admirer will invite you for a drink with a big group of co-workers at a nearby bar. They may ask you to join the office baseball team or a bowling team. They’ll go out of their way to include you in office or church activities. They want to be with you, but so they include you in lots of group activities. This way, they can still admire you without revealing their fondness for you.

  1. Smiling at you all the time.

Secret admirers are often compared to a lovesick puppy. They’ll have an enormous smile plastered across their face. They’ll smile at you and at everything you say. They are over the top infatuated with you, and it shows on their face. It may be challenging to know if you’re the reason for the smile, but a good chance their smile will grow more glowing when you’re around. If you talk to them, their smile will be radiant, and you may wonder if their face will break from all the stretching from their big smile.

  1. Telling you about themselves

Admirers like to tell you important things about themselves. They may tell you about their dog or their family or what they like about eating vegan. They will watch your reaction as they tell you about themselves, hoping you’ll agree or want to know more.

They’re looking for acceptance and an affirmation that you are interested in them. They may tell you about their great aunt’s fascinating shark tooth collection or how they got to shake hands with Elon Musk. It should dawn on you by now that this person is interested in you.

It’s up to you to show interest back or not. If you’re not interested in them, be firm, but gentle in letting them know you’re not interested in their aunts or their famous handshakes. If you don’t tell them now, it will make the conversation more difficult later on.

  1. They seem to be where ever you go.

Your not so secret admirer will suddenly show up at your local grocery store, even though you’ve never seen them at this store before.

They’ll pretend to run into you and mention they shop for organic foods. Or you’ll stop by your favorite coffee shop on Saturday morning, and there is your secret admirer sitting at an outside table. He’ll smile and wave as if he’s surprised to see you then ask you nonchalantly what you’re doing over the weekend.

You may feel this person is stalking you, so trust your gut.  If you feel unsafe, stop going to your regular stores for a bit. Alert your friends and family members about this person and ask them not to give out your information to anyone. If things get worse, call the police or go stay with friends for a few weeks to figure out what to do.

But if this person isn’t stalking you, but just a sweet guy who’s afraid to come forward to ask you out, maybe you should take the first step and ask him to have coffee with you.

  1. They remember things you said

A secret admirer remembers everything you say. They’ll ask you how your dog is doing after her surgery because they heard you mention your dog was having surgery at lunch with your co-workers the day before yesterday. They are into details about you and your life. If you don’t like it, don’t talk about personal things in a group setting and tell your friends not to tell the admirer stuff about you. Friends like to arrange romantic relationships, so tell your friends to back off and give you some space.

  1. They follow you on social media.

Not only will your secret admirer follow you on all your social media sites, but they will like everything you post. They’ll be the first ones to like your posts, adding cute smiley faces or thumbs up. They’ll agree with you or add a few thoughts hoping to get a conversation going with you on the internet. They just can’t help themselves.

  1. They’ll buy you a drink when a big group of you go out for lunch.

If you’re out with a group of co-workers or friends, your admirer will secretly buy you a drink. He’ll tell the server to deliver it to you. It’s fun for him to watch your reaction when the server hands you a free drink. Quickly look around to see who’s watching you. If someone catches your eyes and smiles, good chance, he’s your secret admirer.

  1.  They’ll agree with everything you say

It’s no secret that your admirer wants a relationship with you. He wants you to know he finds you attractive. In conversations, he will agree with everything you say. He’ll be your biggest cheerleader at work or church, commending your intelligence and ability to solve problems. It may be reasonably obvious he’s your secret admirer since he’s the guy jumping up and down every time you say something. Of course, your friends will ask what’s going on, but you can pretend not to know until you decide if you are as interested in this guy as he seems to be in you.

  1. They’ll tease you

Sometimes the easiest way to know someone likes you is to see if they tease you. Teasing is a roundabout way of flirting. It’s showing interest playfully without coming out and saying it. If one guy is teasing you all the time, maybe he’s too shy to ask you out. Go along with it and tease him back if you’re interested.

  1. Drawing you into conversations

Secret admirers aren’t always discreet. Your secret admirer will suddenly pull you into conversations at work to get your opinion or ideas on things. They will love your ideas and suggest to the group to use your ideas. They’ll stop by your desk to ask you a project related question. You’ll suddenly be their go-to person on work issues, tech issues, or if they want to gossip about the boss.

Your other co-workers may roll their eyes and tell you this person has a crush on you. It’s probably worth listening to your co-workers’ observations since they’re watching the whole thing unfold. You could corner your secret admirer and ask them why they’re suddenly interested in you. Or, you could wait for one more sign that they’re a secret admirer.

  1. Asking you about yourself

Your secret admirer will be immensely curious about you. They’ll pepper you with questions until you’re exhausted answering them. They ask you things along these lines:

  • Where you grew up
  • Where you went to college
  • Your best job growing up
  • Your favorite music
  • What movies you love
  • Your favorite restaurant
  • Your favorite coffee shop

Final Thoughts on Understanding Your Not So Secret Admirer

If you haven’t figured out who your secret admirer is when they ask you these questions, it should be the most significant sign that this is the person. Only a secret admirer or your mother shows this amount of interest in you.

The best thing to do at this point is to ask the person why they’re so interested in you. Hopefully, they’ll admit they’re fascinated with you and want a relationship.  If the feeling is mutual, you can invite them out for dinner to your favorite restaurant since they know already know what it is.

Lifestyle

12 Signs That Reveal You Are A Helicopter Parent

12 Signs That Reveal You Are A Helicopter Parent


Parents need to be involved in their child’s life. However, you can become over-involved, and it can do more harm than good. Don’t become a helicopter parent.

Did you know that you can stunt your kid’s development as well as damage their self-confidence when you do too much for them? You should enjoy parenting rather than be a bundle of nerves at every move they make.

You’ve probably heard of the term “helicopter parent.” However, it was a saying derived from a book written by Jim Fay and Foster Cline. The book’s goal was to highlight how a child’s development can suffer when a parent is overly involved in things that they should be doing for themselves.

Do you think that you’re a helicopter parent? Well, no one wants to admit their shortcomings. When did Americans become such hovering people? Gone are the after-school specials that scared children into walking the straight and narrow paths.

12 Signs You’re A Helicopter Parent

Has such negativity been ingrained into your brain that you’re afraid your child will open the door to a dangerous stranger, turn to drugs, or eat raw cookie dough and become deathly ill?

The cause isn’t as important as what these hovering, helicopter ways are doing to the next generation. If you think you may be suffocating your children? Here are some signs that you’re a helicopter parent that needs to get their anxiety in check.

1. You Pick Out Your Kids Clothes

It’s okay to pick out your children’s clothes for the first few years, but if you’re still picking out your preteen or teenagers’ clothes, you need to stop! Give your children a choice in what they wear to school or daily. While parents need to give some input about clothes for modesty, let them have the power to choose what they wear.

2. Your 5-Year-Old Has a SmartPhone

There is almost no reason that a young child needs a smartphone. If you gave your kindergartener a phone so that they can call you when you get to school, then your anxiety is in overdrive. Giving a child a phone at such a young age is only asking for trouble.

Additionally, do you know how many times they will lose or break a cell phone? It’s just not a good move to give a young kid a phone. Studies show that kids are ready for a phone between 10-13 years of age.

3. You Do Your Child’s Homework

Parents should always help their children with their homework. You must also realize that they are not going to do that art or writing project with the quality that you would. However, it would be best if you don’t do their work for them.

You must help them and show them what needs to be done on any assignment, but you should take a step back and let them do the work. If you’re completing your child’s work because you feel that they aren’t doing a good job, you may be a helicopter parent.

Science explains how lax parenting links to emotional disorders.

4. You Never Leave Your Kid Alone with Anyone

During the first couple of years of a child’s life, it’s reasonable to be at their beacon call. However, when your child is 12, and they still have never stayed with anyone but you, then there’s a problem.

You must understand that your anxious nature is keeping them from experiencing things beyond your control. Leave them with grandma, grandpa, or their other parent. You’re smothering this kid.

5. You Don’t Let Your Child Go to Anyone’s Home

The day and age we live in are scary. Sure, you must be cautious about turning your child loose at another person’s home. However, visiting a friend for playdates is an essential part of being a child.

While every household in your neighborhood is not safe for your child to be, there are plenty of other good parents who will watch over your little one. If your kid’s friends can only come to your house to play, you may be crossing the line.

Children need to experience how other people live, and you deny them some great memories if you don’t let them have these experiences.

6. You Placed Cameras All Over the House

Do you have cameras set all over the house, and there’s no good reason? It’s acceptable to have a couple of security cameras in your entrances for protection. However, there should never be a camera in the bathroom or your child’s bedroom.

Your children deserve some privacy. There is nothing that screams helicopter parents like watching your brood on HD 24 hours a day. It’s just not healthy behavior (for you or them!).

7. You Cut Up Your Preteens Food

Some foods should be cut into smaller bites to prevent a child from choking. It would be best if you never gave a three-year-old big piece of steak, chicken, or pork chops. However, if you’re still cutting the meat for your 13-year-old, then it’s an issue.

Teach your child the appropriate way to use a knife. Yes, they may cut themselves, but the chances are slim if you show them and let them do it in the right direction. Do you expect your child to go through life, never using a knife to cut their food?

8. You Don’t Let Your Child Ride the School Bus

Some younger kids love to ride the big yellow school bus. When they turn into teenagers, they would instead be taken to school. If your child is not allowed to ride the school bus because you are afraid of what might happen to them, you’re smothering them.

If there is a situation where they are being bullied or have an extra-long ride because you live far from the school, then those situations are different. You can’t live in fear of all the “what ifs” in life. Let them experience what it’s like to ride the bus, and let them decide if they like it or not.

9. Your Kid’s Teacher Frowns When You Enter the Classroom

You can and should be concerned about your child’s education. Teachers want more parents to be involved in the aspects of their kid’s schooling. However, they don’t want to hear all the 100s of things that they should do differently.

They also don’t want a weekly call or letter because you feel you must tell them all about how they give too much homework, or your child is uncomfortable in their classroom. Be involved, but not too involved in your kid’s education. Your behavior could backfire and make your child miserable.

Know the seven signs that expose childhood anxiety.

10. You Have CPS on Speed Dial

Helicopter parents often have CPS on speed dial as they are continually reporting minor offenses with other children. Of course, these offenses affect your child as this is a student or friend, and you feel it’s your civic duty.

While some situations should be reported when a child is in danger, someone giving a child a soda and candy bar for lunch is not worth calling the authorities.

11. You Clean Their Room

Your child needs to learn the responsibility of keeping their room clean. It’s acceptable to help a child under five with making their bed and such, but they can pick up their toys even at a very young age.

They need to know how to keep their room tidy as it will help them when they have their home in adulthood. You’re not always going to be there to pick up their dirty clothes and make their bed. Give your child the power to clean their space and hold them accountable for it.

12. You Fight Your Child’s Battles

Some children will keep bullying and other social situations from their parents because they’re afraid of how you will react. There are absolutely some situations where a parent must intervene on behalf of their child. However, you also need to allow them to work out their problems without your interference.

Remember, they will have to learn how to put the bully in their place as they will face them throughout life. You can’t always be there, and you won’t be there when they’re grown and facing the same situations at work. They must learn to tackle their giants without your interference.

Final Thoughts on Breaking the Cycle of Being a Helicopter Parent

You want your children to be well-rounded and successful in life. If you do too much for them and don’t allow them the freedom to make mistakes, you are doing them a great disservice. Many parents are smothering because they feel that they are not needed and want to be as important in their child’s life as they were as an infant.

Other parents are so full of anxiety and tension that they cannot imagine letting their child go regardless of age. You must get your hovering tendencies in check as you can cause your child development problems and socially stunt their growth. These harmful behaviors will follow them through life.

Your child will always need you, but you must learn how to step back and let them grow and learn as well as make mistakes.

Lifestyle

10 Signs That Someone Likes You (Even if They Don’t Say It)

10 Signs That Someone Likes You (Even if They Don't


Remember the days of tearing the petals off a flower and chanting, “He loves me, he loves me not?” Well, thankfully, there are other ways that you can tell if someone likes you. Using the power of body language, you can read almost anyone.

There’s a chance that you like this person, and you want to see if they like you in return. First, always trust your gut instinct as it’s there for a reason. Sadly, many people overthink the situation, and you shouldn’t spend time counting how many times he or she looked your way in an evening.

Therapists suggest that you let things develop naturally. Don’t rush or push something that isn’t meant to be. The only thing worse than being single is being in a relationship with the wrong one.

Thankfully, some people are straightforward to read, while others might be a challenge. Even the most stoic person is bound to show some interest in some little way. It all comes down to their body language as it will change when they are in the presence of someone they admire.

Reading Body Language

You don’t need to be a psychic to read an individual. When someone likes you, you may see them become clumsy or shy when they are in your presence. They may stumble over their words and seem like they’re all thumbs when you walk into the room.

Pay attention to these little clues because their body language is trying to tell you that their heart is leaping from their chest. Here are ten other signs that someone is into you for more than friendship.

1. Their Eye is Always on You

Have you ever noticed how their eyes tend to follow you around the room? You may catch them peeking at you, and they may quickly turn, trying to hide their glance. If they’re continually scanning you from head to toe, then it could be a sign that they are into you.

When people are in severe like they can’t help but look at that person. The art of attraction makes you unavoidable. If you feel like you’re being watched every time they’re in the room, then it could be that they want to be more than your friend.

2. They Hang on Your Every Word

Have you ever noticed that when you speak, they hang on your every word? They feel that everyone needs to stop what they are doing when you have something to say. Call them an eager beaver, but they seem to think that you’re the most important person in the world.

Watch their eyes and body language when you are speaking. They may laugh the loudest at your jokes and hang on every single word that comes out of your mouth. Additionally, the suitor almost always remembers every word you say. At this point in the game, they are trying to find common ground with you.

3. They Answer Your Texts Quickly

When you text someone, it takes them a few minutes or even an hour to respond, which is considered acceptable. However, if this person answers you back as soon as you hit send, then it could be a sign that they’re sitting there waiting to hear from you.

Another sign is that their text conversation seems to last forever. It’s a clear indication that they want to spend as much time with you as possible, even if it’s just through an electronic device. Some people express their thoughts and feelings better by text than they do in person.

You may notice that your text conversations get into more in-depth topics as they may open up about their feelings over time.

4. They Ask You Tons of Questions

Whenever you’re in this guy or girl’s presence, do they have a ton of questions for you? They want to know every detail of your life from the type of candy bar you prefer to your favorite restaurant.

If they start asking questions about your plans and if you want children and marriage, then it’s a clear indication that they want to be more than just friends. If you’re interested in them, it’s time to ask some questions in return.

5. They Keep “Accidentally” Touching You

Whether it’s a guy or girl doesn’t matter, when someone keeps accidentally brushing up against you in a group, then you should take notice. It’s about as obvious as a girl dropping her schoolbooks and bending over in front of a guy to pick them up. These brushes with your body are not by accident.

When someone likes you, they will do anything they can to be close to you. They want to hold your hand, hug you, and kiss you. They are fishing to see if you take the bait. If you respond to their advances, then they will reel you in like the catch of the day.

6. They Tease and Play Around with You

Does this person tend to be more playful when they are around you? Do they laugh, make jokes, try to kid with you, and have a good time? They are letting their personality beam. A little bit of this behavior can be based on the anxiety that they feel when they are in your presence, but most of it is because they want you to notice them.

There’s also an old saying that states there is a fine line between love and hate. If you notice that they are mean to you or don’t really like you to be around, then it could also be an indication that their feelings are ruling their judgment. Love can make people do strange things, and acting mean or avoiding you is also included.

7. They Ignore Their Cell Phone in Your Presence

Most people are glued to their cell phones no matter where they are at. They know when an email, text, or phone call comes in. However, if you notice that this person seems to ignore their phone in your presence, then it may be an indication that they want to be more than just friends.

When someone likes you, they may put their phone on silent or just ignore incoming calls because you are more important than their phone. It shows you that they know how to put their priorities in order when it comes to the person they love. This may be a good indication that they will know how to turn the phone off in a relationship and focus on you.

8. They Are Full of Compliments

Do they seem to have nothing but beautiful things to say about you? Do they complement your hair, your clothes, makeup, purse, or anything else about you? Their feelings for you are about to burst.

When the compliments keep rolling, it’s a sign that they are so into you that they want you to know. While they are stopping short of getting to the good stuff, they are trying to tell you that you’re everything they want in a partner.

9. They Talk About Their Plans for the Future

If you have an inkling that someone likes you, when they start talking about their future with you in it, it’s time to act. The reason they are talking about their tomorrow is that they want you to be a part of their life.

Do they want to move to another state, land a big job, or start a family? They want your input about their future because they want you to be included. Wake up! This is one of the most significant signs that they are ready to take your friendship to the next level.

10. They Want Your Phone Number or To Connect on Social Media

When a guy or girl asks someone for their phone number or Snap Chat name, it means they want to connect outside their friend circle. They want to talk to you one-on-one and see where things go. It shows there is interest, but it doesn’t show how deep the investment is at that point.

Final Thoughts on Identifying When Someone Likes You

It doesn’t take rocket science to find out if someone likes you. You can quickly tell by the way they act and talk in your presence. When things get to the point where they are asking about your plans, someone needs to break the ice and ask the other one out.

They say that there are many fish in the dating sea, but you need to be able to identify a prime catch and not have your head turned by every piranha that swims your way. Give in to their advances and see where this friendship could go. Who knows, it may be the person who will become your better half.

Lifestyle

10 Signs of an Exceptionally Intelligent Child

10 Signs of an Exceptionally Intelligent Child


All parents think their child is exceptionally intelligent. But when little Judy or Jack brings home their kindergarten school work, you realize your child is smart, but not necessarily exceptional. There’s a big difference, and extraordinary intelligence in a child usually shows up at an early age. So, what are ten signs you’re the parent of a brilliant child?

First signs of extreme intelligence in your child

Small children can show early signs of extreme intelligence. You may not even be aware of these things in your infant until you compare your child with other kids of the same age, or your pediatrician notices it. First signs that you have a child of high intelligence include

  • They’re very alert as an infant.
  • They have a long attention span as a toddler or infant.
  • They have language development.
  • These children have motor skill development.
  • They are ambidextrous at some point early on.
  • They have imaginary playmates.
  • These children speak early first words around nine months.
  • They read early, completing easy reading before the age of four.
  • These children start showing a sense of humor at a very early age.

Ten Signs You Are Raising a Particularly Intelligent Child

Here are some things to look out for if you suspect your child is brilliant (literally!).

  1. Early readers

If your child is exceptionally intelligent, there’s a good chance they will be early readers. Some of these children are reading by the time they’re three with little or no teaching. This aptitude is often because they also have great memories and have memorized many words they’ve seen in books or from hearing you read to them.

Early reading is often a significant indicator that your child is a genius. They will have an insatiable appetite to read. You may need to make them stop reading so they can eat their meals or go to bed.  Finding age-appropriate books can be challenging. Turn to some old classics for challenging yet age-appropriate reading materials. These classic books are often overlooked at schools, but provide a rich source of learning for your child.a

Here’s a list of ten tried-and-true classics your young, exceptionally intelligent child may enjoy reading (depending on the age/ability).

  • Treasure Island
  • Peter Pan
  • Swiss Family Robinson
  • The Hundred Dresses
  • Danny the Champion of the World
  • Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry
  • Where the Red Fern Grows
  • Poppers Penguins
  • The Adventures of Robin Hood
  • Pippi Longstocking
  1. Creative when playing alone

Children love to play, but exceptionally intelligent children are uniquely imaginative when it comes to playing alone. They often create an imaginary friend. Although this is common to all kids, gifted children are exceptionally creative.

One gifted boy told his father that a former United States president was his imaginary friend. Gifted kids are apt to create little worlds based on what they read or see. Studies found that kids who have an imaginary companion have an imaginative ability. They are better at storytelling, more prone to fantasy, and often explain things as magical.

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  1. A highly intelligent child displays curiosity.

Gifted kids are curious about everything around them. They have a curious mind and tend to question everything. They want knowledge. You find yourself feeling overwhelmed by their questions, especially when their problems are beyond what you know. This is a great time to pull out books on the topics they’re most interested in. Show them how to search for answers in safe, online sites like Britannica Kids, National Geographic for Kids, or the World Book online.

  1. Perseverance

When exceptionally intelligent kids find a subject, they’re interested in. They want to know everything about it. They’ll persist in asking questions about it, reading about it and talking about it. They’re persistent in problem-solving. They’re committed to finding answers. They have an incredible amount of energy and devotion to these topics. One boy loved learning about World War II. He read every book he could find on the subject, then he wrote his 200-page war novel at the age of 8, using the information he’d learned as the backdrop for his fiction work.

  1. Creative

Your exceptionally intelligent child may be extremely creative. Studies show that creative people can come up with novel ways to solve problems, while smart people solve a problem in a more logical way. The relationship between intelligence and creativity isn’t understood by scientists, but it seems prevalent when a child is particularly smart.

This creativity makes your child comfortable thinking outside the box and inventive. Your child may be extremely original in their thinking. Exceptionally intelligent kids can exhibit these artistic qualities:

  • Being independent with their ideas
  • Comes up with creative stories, sometimes based on real or unreal events
  • Can find many creative solutions
  • Great imagination
  • Great at improvisation
  • Doesn’t bother them that they’re different
  • May be distracted by all their ideas.
  • Has his or her schedule
  • Maybe a risk-taker in some areas.
  • Daydreaming about their ideas
  1. Great memory

Your gifted child may have an incredible memory for facts and figures. Some gifted kids memorize phone numbers or car license numbers just for fun. They’re like a walking book stating information they’ve read verbatim. They often can memorize math facts and spelling words after seeing them just once.

Be careful what you promise your child because they will remember it and bug you until you do what you promised.

  1. An unusually intelligent child might also be highly sensitive.

Gifted kids may be highly sensitive. This sensitivity means that they are keenly aware of their feelings and other people’s feelings.

They are also sensitive to touch. Thus, they dislike scratchy clothing or tags on the inside of their shirts. They don’t like socks with seams or a chair that’s too hard or soft. This characteristic can be challenging for a parent, but it’s part of who your child is. Adapt to their preferences as much as possible without overly catering to every whim.

  1. Strong will

Don’t be surprised if your exceptionally intelligent child is given to meltdowns. They get frustrated easily when they must stop doing something they like, or they feel like you’re not listening to them. They don’t understand why they need to stop reading because it’s so important to them. They’ll tell you why you should let them do what they want. They are secure in their opinions and persuasive in their arguments.

  1. Good sense of humor

Gifted kids are funny. They crack jokes and puns all the time. Coupled with their constant talking and questioning, these comedians can take over a class as the class clown. Teachers find them delightful and distracting. They like to make their teachers crack up over their jokes while the other kids miss the point entirely.

  1. May seem impertinent

Highly intelligent kids seem old for their age. Because they’re so verbal and have a vast vocabulary, they like to interact with adults at their level. They are sometimes perceived as rude or impertinent when they correct an adult’s mistake or ask personal questions. They are often viewed as impolite, but usually, they’re just curious or being funny.

Because of their ability to think abstractly, adults treat them as if they were older, but gifted kids are still kids. They can lack emotional development. One minute, they’re talking to you about a complicated physics problem they finished, and then they’re having a meltdown because they don’t want to eat their broccoli.

Final Thoughts on Raising an Exceptionally Intelligent Child

If you are the parent of a highly intelligent child, you will be amazed at your child’s incredible vocabulary and their ability to think logically. They’ll stump you with their questions and talk your ear off about everything they’re learning. You’ll be challenged to keep them intellectually stimulated with good books and activities. Take them to museums, gardens, historical sites, and on walks through the woods. Give them lots of different experiences to enhance their learning experience.

Guide your child in social situations. Tell them they must be polite even when they’re curious-it’s just never polite to ask the store clerk how many times she’s pooped today. Be prepared for an adventure as you watch your child continue to learn and grow, solving problems adults can’t and finding the most out of the box kind of solutions to problems. Also, be prepared to love them and accept them as they struggle to understand life. Be their support and sounding block when they’re sad or confused.

Don’t coddle them or tell always tell them how smart they are. This creates a self-centered kid who feels entitled. Teach them to think about others, to share, and to be ready to help.

Most of all, enjoy who your child not for their intelligence, but as a wonderful kid who’s growing into a responsible, kind person.

Lifestyle

20 Signs It’s Time to Call it Quits on Your Significant Other

20 Signs It's Time to Call it Quits on Your


Maybe you’ve been thinking about calling it quits with your significant other, but the thought of actually leaving them seems scarier than staying. After all, many people stay with their partners even if they feel unhappy just because of the familiarity of the relationship. The whole dating scene today looks vastly different than even five or ten years ago, and many people don’t want to go through the hassle. Sadly, the prospect of staying in an unhappy relationship just seems easier than restarting with someone new.

Studies show that the longer you’re with someone, the harder it becomes to back out of a relationship. According to a 2017 study by the University of Utah, published in the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science, many factors come into play when making a decision to break up with someone or not. Researchers gave out questionnaires that asked specific questions about why people would choose to remain in or leave a relationship. The participants consisted of married couples, people who were dating, and even those considering breaking up with their partners.

Researchers discovered 27 basic reasons for wanting to stay in a relationship, such as feeling obligated, emotional connection, and investment. They also found around 23 reasons people listed for wanting to leave, such as clashes in personality, betrayal of trust, and disconnection with partners.

No matter your relationship status, you rob yourself of potential life-long happiness with someone new when you stay in a toxic relationship. Perhaps you have lost feelings for your partner or just need space for yourself to figure things out. If you’ve been confused about whether to leave your significant other or not, these signs will help you decide.

Here are 20 signs it’s time to call it quits on your significant other:

  1. You have to walk on eggshells around your partner.

A partnership should feel like coming home, a safe place for you to unravel your innermost layers and show the deepest parts of yourself. If you don’t feel comfortable being yourself around your partner, it’s probably time to call it quits. It may seem scary at first to leave what feels familiar, but think how much freer you’ll feel once you can get a breath of fresh air and gain clarity on the relationship.

  1. You feel like you’ve lost yourself in the relationship.

While a relationship brings two people together, they should still maintain their own lives and have separate personalities. If you feel you’ve meshed too much with your partner to where you don’t even know where they end and you begin, you might need to take a step back. Codependent relationships often involve some level of enmeshment, where personal boundaries become blurry and partners become overly concerned with each other. When this happens, autonomy gets lost and partners lose their sense of self.

  1. Your partner doesn’t seem committed to you.

If you have a suspicion that your partner might be seeing someone else or that they just want a casual relationship, you should have a talk with your significant other. No one should have to feel insecure and unwanted in a relationship, especially if you’ve been with your partner for a long period of time.

  1. It’s time to call it quits when you feel insecure in the relationship.

If for some reason you don’t feel safe or secure in your relationship, you should probably call it quits. Your partner should bring you comfort and peace, and not add to the problems in your life.

  1. Your significant other wants different things in life than you.

If you don’t share the same life goals with your partner, you might need to call it quits. Of course, wanting different things in life doesn’t have to mean you should end the relationship, but you should share the same values. For example, if one person wants kids and the other doesn’t, this probably rules out a long-term commitment.

  1. You’re starting to imagine life without them.

You may find that you daydream about a life without your partner from time to time. These thoughts may crop up after a bad fight or maybe just during a night alone, and if it happens infrequently it shouldn’t alarm you. However, if you start to notice yourself longing for the single life again, you should take a good hard look at your relationship.

let go of the past

  1. You feel like you’d regret it if you stayed in the relationship.

If you feel like staying with your partner would leave you with more regret than leaving, then you’ve already made your decision. You just need to inform your partner politely that you can’t stay with them anymore for whatever reason. Not every relationship lasts forever, but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate what you learned from each one.

  1. They don’t put the same effort as you into the relationship.

Maybe you plan all the dates or buy them nice things even though they don’t return the favor. A one-sided relationship can’t last too long before resentment starts to build, so if that sounds like your situation, it’s probably time to call it quits.

  1. You have more bad times than good times.

If your partner seems to put more stress lines on your face than smiles, you probably shouldn’t stay with them. Every relationship encounters hard times, but they shouldn’t outweigh the good ones.

  1. They seem emotionally unavailable and distant with you.

When you spend time with them, they seem distant and cold with you. Perhaps this points to infidelity, or it could mean they simply don’t want the relationship anymore but don’t want to tell you directly. You deserve a committed, loving partner, so don’t hesitate to end things with someone like this.

  1. You have suspicions that they’re seeing someone else.

Do they check their phone constantly and try to hide it from you? This may point to a cheating partner, in which case you should confront them about it.

  1. The relationship doesn’t bring out the best in you.

Maybe you feel like you could do better than your current partner, especially if they bring out the stress in you more than the best in you. If this sounds like your significant other, you should probably call it quits on them.

  1. You’re codependent on them.

Do you feel like you can’t live without them and don’t know how to be alone? If so, this doesn’t mean you should necessarily end things, but you need to examine your own relationship insecurities so you can both maintain autonomy.

  1. They put you down or blame you for their problems.

If you constantly get blamed for problems in the relationship or take a few too many “jokes” from them, you should ask yourself why you stay with this person. A relationship should build you up, not bring you down.

  1. They don’t give you time to talk and always make things about them.

If they display behaviors such as talking over you and not paying attention when you talk, they don’t deserve your time or energy. Be with someone who adores you and wants to hear about your thoughts and feelings.

  1. You feel better when you’re alone and dread being with them.

If you feel like you can finally breathe when you get time to yourself, you shouldn’t remain in the relationship. Maybe they don’t act like the same person you met in the beginning – sometimes people only show their true colors when they’re committed to someone.

  1. Your partner keeps threatening to break up with you.

If you constantly have to walk on eggshells because your partner threatens to end things when you make a mistake or upset them, do yourself a favor and walk out the door.

  1. They try to control you.

No one deserves a partner who won’t allow their significant other room to make their own decisions in a relationship. Be with someone who you feel comfortable with who won’t try to assert dominance over you.

  1. It’s time to call it quits when your family sees the red flags that you don’t.

If your family doesn’t like your partner, they probably have their reasons. Make sure to value their input and try to see things from their perspective before you call it quits with your partner.

  1. You feel like you’ve had to sacrifice more than you should in the relationship.

If you feel like you’ve had to give more than your fair share in the partnership and it’s not reciprocated, it’s probably time to call it quits.

Final thoughts on signs you should end things with your partner

Not every relationship can last forever, and they really shouldn’t unless you feel you can choose them every single day and not regret it. If the doubts start to scream louder than your faith in your partner, maybe you need to take a second look at things. This doesn’t mean you don’t love or care about your significant other, but sometimes two people just need to break up and continue to grow on their own terms.

Lifestyle

15 Signs of a Spark Between Two People

15 Signs of a Spark Between Two People


You’re sitting in a crowded room, you turn, and suddenly your eyes meet another person’s eyes.  You feel an immediate attraction, a connection to that person. Is it real? Many people wonder how to know. So, what are 15 signs of a spark between two people?

15 Signs of a Spark When Two People Feel Mutual Attraction

1. Body language

One of the first signs that there are sparks between two people is often their body language. They may lean in towards one another when they talk or touch arms when they share something. Their expression says,” I want to be close to you,” and “I’m attracted to you.”

They may touch hands, pat one another on the back, or lean on one another’s shoulders to show they are interested. Body language is a good sign. However, it can be deceptive, so keep an eye out for other giveaways as well.

2. Eye contact

Continually looking at one another is a sure sign that sparks are going off between two people. Usually, they can’t take their eyes off of one another. It’s as if they are like two magnets being pulled together by their eyes.

You find yourself looking at the other person’s nose and mouth, their eye color, and their body. Everything about them is interesting to you. It’s fun to watch this happen to two people,  but of course, it’s most fun if you experience it yourself.

3. Smiling

Lots and lots of smiles, you can’t stop laughing at the person when you’re attracted to them. They make you happy to see them, and they feel the same. This behavior is a sure sign of sparks ignited between the two of you. Studies found that when the flashes of romantic love ignite, your brain kicks up the level of dopamine that stimulates your brain’s pleasure center. You feel pleasure and happiness, so you smile. You have a crazy, happy-looking smile that other people notice right away as a sign of sparks flying around.

4. Infatuated

They’ve captured your attention, you’re curious about them, you wonder what they’re like. This is infatuation. It’s often one of the first things you feel when you catch the eyes of that person across the room. It’s a draw and desire to know more. Infatuation isn’t wrong, but by its very definition, it is a short term kind of passion that will go away.

It won’t kill the sparks, but infatuation is often based on the intrigue of not totally knowing someone. So your infatuation will go away,  but you can still be attracted to them as you get to know them.

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5. Stomach flip flops

When there are sparks between you and someone else, you may feel your stomach doing flip flops, or some people call it butterflies. Studies show that every culture has a different way of describing this emotional state. But when you feel this, you feel an attraction to the other person.

Of course, over time, your stomach feelings will change, but it’s usually a sign of sparks between two people.

6. Look forward to being together

You can’t wait to see the person even though you’ve just met. You feel like you’ve known them for years, and you want to know them more. This is a sure sign of a spark if you look forward to being together. You don’t care if you go for a walk, a drive through the country or to a little restaurant down the street, you just want to be together again.

It’s a good sign that you want to be together. This feeling really shouldn’t go away over time the way infatuation does.  In a good solid relationship, a couple enjoys time together and hates to be apart.

7. Chemistry

Chemistry is the tension and attraction you feel towards another person. Of course, physical attraction plays a part in this too. There may be a mix of desire and tension between the two of you. It’s not good to assume this is going to be a good relationship just because of this chemistry you feel. You can feel it with lots of people.

Chemistry should not just be about the person’s body, but also their mind and soul. It can be hard to do,  but try to stay cool and not given to throwing your heart away too quickly, even if you feel chemistry. Stay positive and move slowly.

8. Flirting

When you’re just getting to know someone, and you think there is definitely a chemistry between you, you’ll be flirty. Not too flirty, but just enough to let the other person know that you are interested, you think they’re cute and fun to be with.

It’s okay to flirt, but be sure not to throw yourself at the person. This comes on too strong, and if the other person isn’t feeling it, you won have embarrassed yourself by being too forthcoming.

attract a man
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9. Work hard to look your best at all times

When you’re attached to someone, you want to put your best face forward. You’ll work hard to dress your best, you’ll fix our hair, shave and smell nice, too. You want the other person to think you’re attractive and sexy.

It’s a natural thing to do when there’s a spark between two people. If the other person isn’t doing this, it could be a sign they aren’t as attracted to you as you thought.

10. Miss each other when you’re not together

You’ve just met and hung out together once. Now you can’t wait to be together again. You already miss the person, their smile, their laugh, the way their eyes twinkle when they look at you. It’s all there-it’s a sure sign the spark has been charged up if you miss each other when apart. Missing each other when you’re apart should last in your relationship.

Even couples who have been together for years experience this when they spend time apart. So, if this spark is there and seems to last over the first days, weeks, or months, that could be a sign of a long-lasting relationship developing.

11. Feel comfortable being together

When there is a special connection between you and another person, you will feel extremely comfortable with them. You can relax and feel safe around them. Safe to share your deepest thoughts as well as physically safe.

If someone makes you feel unsafe, walk away from the relationship even if at first there were sparks. It sounds weird, but it happens. You should always feel safe in a relationship.

12. Want to learn new things about the other person

When you first get to know someone, you can’t learn enough about them. You want to know their likes and dislikes, about their childhood, their hobbies, their fears, their favorite foods, and their heroic deeds. Everything they have ever done is suddenly so important to you. They will want to know everything about you. It’s a sure sign that sparks are flying between the two of you.

13. Share similar values

Sparks flying doesn’t negate the similarity of your values. As you get to know someone, you will value what they value, you feel what they feel. Your similar values can forge a closer bond between the two of you. Sometimes sparks fly when you’re at an event where similar values are being shared, so it only makes sense that the person you find yourself attracted to has the same values as you.

14. Both of you like who the other person is

When the sparks fly, you like who you’re looking at. You like them physically, but as you get to know them, you like them intellectually and soulfully as well. You appreciate who they are without judging them. You feel like they are your other half. They meet your needs as a person and inspire you to be a better person.

15. Time stands still

You hear this in songs all the time, but when sparks fly between two people, it really seems to happen. You lose track of time when you’re together, talking and hanging out. It’s as if you wish you could turn the clock back so you could have an entire day together all over again.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing a Spark of Chemistry

When two people feel an instant connection across the room or in a crowd, there can be sparks that instantly fly. It’s as if you are being drawn together by forces outside yourselves. It’s not something you can make happen. It’s either there or not. It’s often the beginning phase of a relationship, but it shouldn’t define your relationship because that’s unrealistic for a long term relationship.

Enjoy these first moments, days, weeks, or months of the sparks, but be sure the relationship moves on into a deeper, more meaningful kind of relationship. Sparks can mean a fun relationship is potentially happening, so ride the wave of discovery, and see if it blossoms into something more.

Lifestyle

7 Signs You Have a Smartphone Addiction (And How to Break It) »

7 Signs You Have a Smartphone Addiction (And How to


If you go pretty much anywhere these days, you’ll find most people glued to their phones, probably suffering from a smartphone addiction without even knowing it. Smartphones have become more like an extra limb than a tool to access information, and scientists have even come up with a word for the fear of going without your device: nomophobia. This word is short for no mobile phone phobia, and it affects a surprising amount of people.

According to a New York Times report, teens and adults look at their phones around 150 times per day and send roughly 110 text messages. A 2015 Pew Research Centre study also found that 24% of teens reported looking at the Internet “almost constantly.” Surveys done in the United States and Europe discovered that between 1.5% to 8.2% of people suffer from a condition called Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD), similar to smartphone addiction. Other reports have found even higher rates between 6% and 18.5%. Furthermore, a whopping 46% of smartphone owners say they couldn’t survive without their phones.

While smartphones have provided us new ways to communicate with loved ones and access information from anywhere, they also have the potential to disconnect us from our surroundings. When we unlock our phones, we have the whole world at our fingertips, and sometimes, this can seem overwhelming. With so many choices, many of us get sucked into keeping up with the latest social media trends or scouring news articles and forget about our real lives at home. This new virtual world offers hours of entertainment and memes galore, but at what cost?

Using your smartphone too much can cause serious mental, physical and emotional issues over time. Below, we’ll go over signs of a smartphone addiction, and what you can do to break it.

Here are 7 signs you’re suffering from a smartphone addiction (And what to do about it):

smartphone addiction

1 – You suffer from insomnia, often waking up in the middle of the night to check your phone.

Smartphone addiction can lead to trouble falling and staying asleep. Research shows that the blue light coming from your phone can disrupt your circadian rhythm and melatonin levels, which throws your sleep out of whack. If you often stay on your phone leading up to bedtime and even wake up in the middle of the night to check notifications, you might have a smartphone addiction.

Try to get off technology a couple of hours before bed, and dim the lights so your body knows it’s time to sleep soon. Keep your phone in another room for a while if you feel tempted to use it, or put it on a table out of reach to charge overnight. If you do wake up in the middle of the night, try reading a book or getting up to walk around until you feel sleepy again.

2 – You have bad anxiety when you don’t have your phone near you.

Like most addictions, you feel anxious without your smartphone near you at all times. If you can’t have access to it or use it as a crutch, you simply don’t know what to do with yourself. However, don’t beat yourself up if you feel this way. As we stated at the beginning of the article, roughly half of the population feels uneasy without their phones. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t work on correcting the anxiety if it impedes your life, though.

Try to go for some periods of time throughout the day where you don’t check your phone at all. After you’ve mastered this for a week or two, go out for a walk in the park without your phone or maybe even on a couple of errands. At first, it will feel downright scary to not have your phone on you, but eventually, you’ll notice how freeing and calm you feel without it.

3 – Social media stresses you out or makes you depressed.

Many people use their smartphones primarily to keep up with social media. However, a lot of people report feeling anxious or depressed after looking at their social media, perhaps due to comparing themselves with others or reading negative comments. We’ve become social media addicts, and this can have detrimental impacts on our emotional and even physical health. While being able to talk to anyone in the world 24/7 can seem exciting, it can lead you to distance yourself or even avoid the people around you.

Social media shouldn’t be seen as a replacement for real-life interactions. Checking in a couple of times a day for messages or updates from friends won’t hurt, but endless hours of scrolling can impair decision-making and lead to riskier decisions, a study found. Other reports have linked heavy social media use with increased anxiety and depression.

If you feel like you have a compulsive tendency to check your social accounts many times throughout the day, you might have social media as well as smartphone addiction.

check your phone meme

4 – You can’t seem to do any task for long periods of time without checking your phone.

Do you find yourself distracted from the task at hand often? Maybe when you’re putting up laundry or washing the dishes, you take frequent breaks to check your phone for notifications. Or, you might even check text messages while driving, which can lead to serious consequences. No matter what you’re doing, you just can’t seem to stay away from your smartphone for too long.

Smartphone addiction can lead to problems paying attention and remaining engaged in conversation. If you have trouble completing tasks without checking your phone multiple times, try putting it in a different room so it doesn’t distract you.

5 – You have physical feelings of discomfort without your phone.

You not only feel psychological symptoms when you don’t have your phone on you, but physical feelings start to creep in as well. A study found that people who had their phones taken away and couldn’t answer their phones while completing puzzles, they suffered from the following symptoms:

  • heart rate and blood pressure increase
  • feelings of anxiety and unpleasantness
  • cognitive abilities decreased

Other physical symptoms can include sweating, nervousness, restlessness, and other feelings similar to what you might feel if you have anxiety.

6 – You mindlessly scroll for hours.

If you find yourself being on your phone without having a need for it and spending long periods of time looking at social media or other sites, you might have an addiction. Using our phones as a tool to access information, talk to loved ones, or complete work can improve our quality of life. However, using it as an escape or to decrease boredom will only lead to feelings of unhappiness down the road.

pop meme7 – You feel phantom vibrations.

Many people report feeling their phone go off when they haven’t gotten a notification at all. In fact, one study found that 90% of undergraduate students experienced this phenomenon, which occurs when the user perceives vibrations from their phones but doesn’t actually get a call, text, or notification. Scientists have said this causes people to reach for their phones compulsively, which resembles an addiction.

If this sounds like you, try to gradually decrease the number of times you check your phone throughout the day. You’ll start to gain mental clarity and just feel better overall without being glued to your phone all day.

How to break a smartphone addiction

Sometimes, breaking an addiction means you need to just go cold turkey for a while. This might not work for everyone, but heavy users should experience what it feels like looking at the world without filtering it through a screen for a period of time. This will help reset brain chemistry and remind them that they can live without their phone; they just needed to remind themselves of it.

Here are some tips for getting off your phone:

  • Don’t keep your phone in your room at night. Charge it elsewhere so you don’t feel tempted to use it before bed or during the night.
  • Practice going places without your phone. You’ll remember what it felt like during the good old days when smartphones didn’t exist and people just went about their days.
  • Get out and socialize. Many people who compulsively use their phones simply feel lonely or bored. If you replace the time spent on your phone with real-life relationships, you’ll start to realize how much better you feel living in the real world.
  • Find a hobby. Instead of being on your phone, why not delve into your creative side or go for a bike ride? With any addiction, you just need to find something else to focus your attention on.

smartphone addictionFinal thoughts on smartphone addiction

Smartphones have become so pervasive in society that they affect every area of our lives. We rely on our phones for so much that it seems almost impossible to live without them. However, we should remember to use them as a tool to improve our lives rather than as an escape or a crutch. As with anything, we should use them in moderation and remember the beautiful world we live in outside our screens.

Lifestyle

5 Signs That Reveal You May Live Longer Than Other People Your Age

5 Signs That Reveal You May Live Longer Than Other


In a perfect world, we would all live longer and know when our life would end. This way, you’d be able to get your affairs in order and get things ready before the moment comes. On second thought, knowing when the moment was happening might be an awful thing to know.

Whether you’d want to know when it’ll happen or if you’d rather not know, we’re all curious about one thing. The thing we want to know is what makes some people outlive others. While there’s no exact science to figure it out, there are some ideas of what leads to a longer life.

Each of the ideas relates to your overall wellbeing. It seems that taking care of your body and mind is the ultimate key to living a long life. Since wellness is such a vast topic, it’s essential to narrow it down. Once you narrow it down, you can understand some of the signs that reveal you may live longer.

5 Signs You May Live Longer Than Others

live longer

Remember that there is no exact science to determine how long anyone will live. Many factors determine the length of life, but these signs are ones that anyone can work on.

1. You’re Organized, Make Plans, and Budget

Studies show that those who are organized, disciplined, persistent, and hard-working typically outlive others. This indicator is because they take fewer risks, are healthier, and have regular check-ups and doctor visits. Since they are more conscientious about their health, this benefits them in the long run.

Those aren’t the only reasons that organizers, planners, and budgeters live longer, however. Since these things go along with cognition, it can help prevent degenerative cognitive diseases.

People who have these characteristics are also less likely to smoke cigarettes and consume an excessive amount of alcohol. Plus, they’re more likely to have a steady job and a healthy marriage, leading to less stress and health problems.

In total, those who are organized, planners, and budgeters are expected to live around four years longer than others.

How You Can Work on This

Luckily, it’s not too late to develop this type of lifestyle. For those who aren’t naturally organized, a planner, or a budgeter, it’s still possible. It may just be a little tougher and will take more determination.

You can start by practicing writing schedules and budgets for yourself or your family. Start with a plan for the day, and then stick to it. Once you have a routine of planning your day and stick to it, you can begin planning for longer things.

If you wish to live a life like this, it’s crucial to consider relationships, careers, and friendships before jumping in. By doing so, you’re giving yourself a chance to review what may come from life change. If it might be toxic for you or cause overwhelming stress, think of your wellbeing before deciding.

2. Your BMI is Normal

Being overweight can decrease a life span, so an abnormal Body Mass Index (BMI) could mean a shorter life. With a healthy BMI, however, you are likely to outlive others.

Keep in mind, however, that an abnormal BMI calculation isn’t always a cause for alarm. If yours is too high or too low, you should discuss it with your doctor.

An average BMI calculation is between 18.5 and 24.9, and the index for being overweight is between 25 and 29.9. Then, an obese index is between 30 and 34.9. If you are above the obese calculation, you must change your lifestyle habits.

To calculate BMI, you have to divide your weight in kilograms by your height in meters squared. If this is too complicated, it’s easy to find accurate BMI calculators on the internet.

BMI tape measure
Read about the connection between BMI and overall wellness.

How to Reach a Normal BMI

The only way to change your BMI is to change your lifestyle. If your BMI is too low, you can work to gain weight or muscle. On the other hand, if your BMI is too low, you will have to do the opposite.

There are two natural ways you can successfully reach a normal BMI. One is by eating healthy foods and sticking to a nutritious diet. The other way is by exercising regularly and leading an active lifestyle.

It seems that the most critical factor for those who are overweight or obese is to eat less. Try leaving some food on your plate at each meal. A study performed at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis proves that this can help you live longer.

In the study, researchers determined that a diet that is low in calories yet high in nutrition is the best option. This is because that type of diet decreases the number of T3 hormones in your body. T3, a thyroid hormone, not only causes a slow metabolism, but it also speeds up the aging process.

3. You Look Younger Than You Are

When scientists conducted a study on twins, they were able to determine one of the signs of a longer life. The twins were monitored over the course of 12 years. In the end, scientists decided that the twin who looked younger lived longer.

The Secret to Looking Younger

Take care of yourself. Things like cigarettes and alcohol can make people appear older, proving that they are not suitable for the body. Eating healthy foods will help, along with regularly being active. Another way to look younger is by getting enough sleep.

4. You Have Regular Social Interaction

Healthy social interaction doesn’t have to mean there are many people in your life. Even a small group of people, you have a meaningful relationship with can help your overall wellness.

When you have people that you can trust in tough situations, you’ll have more help through the hard times. This increases the chances that you’ll have support when you’re sick, hurt, or just need a companion.

Other reasons that regular social interaction leads to a longer life are health-related. Studies show that those who aren’t regularly social tend to have more negative health patterns than others.

These negative health patterns include inactivity, obesity, hypertension, and increased blood clots. Those who are social also get sick less often when exposed to viruses than those who are generally isolated. They also have less inflammatory markers than those who don’t have regular social interaction.

Another health issue that stems from social interaction is that those who are isolated are more likely to smoke tobacco. Plus, those who have social interaction are less likely to have high blood pressure and increased heart rate from stress.

social distancingHow to Become More Social

Be careful not to let social media become your only form of communication with friends and family. To get the full benefits of social interaction, you have to have people in real life.

Make plans with the people you care about and follow through on them. Don’t wait for them to call you to make plans. Instead, reach out and let them know you’d like to spend some time together.

If you don’t know anyone in your area that you can reach out to, look for friends in other places. Join a group or start spending time in places that interest you. By doing this, you’re likely to find friends like yourself.

5. You Often Exhibit Positivity

Positive people experience less stress in their daily life and outlive negative people. Since there is less stress, blood pressure and heart rate tend to stay more regular. Both of those things are a vital part of living a long and healthy life.

The most crucial topic to remain positive about is aging. It’s believed that being positive about aging and life can lead to living up to 15% longer than negative people. Plus, you’ll have a better chance of making it 85 years old than those who can’t see the positives.

The Way to Become More Positive

Work on staying positive in your life each day. When things aren’t going as planned, look for a positive in the situation. There is always going to be at least one good thing going on, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

One way to remind yourself that life is good is by keeping a gratitude journal. Write one thing each day that you were grateful for. You can also say positive affirmations to yourself and surround yourself with other positive people.

live longerFinal Thoughts on Signs That Reveal You May Live Longer Than Other People Your Age

Even though there is no definite answer, there are signs that you may live longer than others. These signs are based on scientific evidence and research, so it isn’t just speculation. The best part is that anyone can achieve all of the signs mentioned.

If you struggle with any of the things listed, you can change something about your life today. Your wellness is the most significant part of life length, and each sign focuses on wellness in some way.

Take care of your mind and body, and you’ll become one of the people who may live longest. You only have one life, so you might as well make it the best one possible.